Welcome to the Inaugural WWE Power Rankings, as of 8-26-2013 RAW

Welcome to my first on-going segment.  Under the traditional Power Ranking format, each entry is based on his, her or their individual performance(s).  

1. HHH – He’s been able to make the transition to the “Vince” character and done it well.  He’s always been a great heel and now he’s an even better heel that doesn’t need to wrestle.  Also, he’s still in shape where if he wanted to mix it up, I’m all in to see a HHH match.  What also helps to put him at the top of this list is the new mix of his theme music (I can be a sucker for new sparkly shiny things).  
2. Randy Orton – Finally he’s the heel we want to see.  None of this nonsense with him being crazy or snapping due to some mental issue.  He’s the epidemy of the “traditional WWE champ” and to play this up is perfect.  He easily falls into place as the jock who’s just better than the rest of you.  Without having a match, he’s become the champ, risen to #2 on this list and gets booed with barely a word spoken.  He’s the perfect example / use of nepotistic entitlement.  He’s a perfect heel for HHH just because of looks and heritage, and let’s not forget he has the ability to put on solid matches (check out his hardcore match with Foley early on as proof that he’s got talent or at least balls).  Less is certainly more with RKO right now.
3. Daniel Bryan – You’d have to say he’s the top face in the company right now.  I was worried about how long he could play this underdog card.  I’m sorry for any wrestler who has a real injury but it really played out perfectly for the WWE to have Cena go down at this moment.  The Cena / Bryan feud was starting to get old (and came out of nowhere, thanks to Totally Divas).  This was a perfect way to keep up, make sense of and push Bryan’s underdog story.  This could and most certainly will last through Royal Rumble and into ‘Mania.  Where can I bet on a Daniel Bryan Rumble win?
4. Dolph Ziggler – The hardest working man in the biz.  “He who can put anyone over, will be doomed to the mid-card.”  His in ring skills almost work against his status in the company.  He makes everyone else look so good, it’s hard for the WWE to let him win consistently.  Has a horrible outfit, horrible gimmick (at this point, what is the gimmick?) and he still is the best wrestler in the ring.  I’ll watch any match he’s in right now.   
5. The Shield – Collectively and separately they’re really coming into their own.  They’re not ready to split just yet.  They still have a while to go and things to do.  Ambrose is doing great but to have the Shield together and all with belts AND being HHH’s “private security team” works for all parties.  Groups like DX or NWO were never hurt by staying together.  It’s usually better for these groups or cliques (I had to) to stay together too long than to cut the group off too soon.
6. CM Punk – Normally would be higher on this list but it tells you two things; 1) there’s a lot of quality going on in the WWE writing and wrestling right now and 2) we need Punk to quickly transition back to heel / outsider.  I’ve enjoyed the Paul Heyman plot but I don’t want it to end as Punk being a face and being stuck as a good guy.  If he is, he’s got to be the Austin-like face where he’s the rebel you cheer for.  I’d have rather seen him submit to Heyman and go back under his “wing”.  Let Paul do gloat-y Paul things.  Have CM Punk rise the ranks and right before his “big win” (whatever that turns out to be) double cross Paul and get his ultimate revenge.  Have the student become the master. 
7. Paul Heyman – Doing Paul Heyman-y things.  For sure I thought he was bringing out Brock to destroy CM Punk monday night as Punk was tied up.  It all still worked out in the end and Heyman once again proves to be the greatest professional agitator.  Even the smart fans who will always love Heyman for ECW, can’t help but boo him.  They boo out of respect.
8. Wyatt Family – Should be higher but didn’t wrestle on RAW.  Is there anyone who does not want to see the eventual Wyatt Family vs Shield run?  They’re on opposite ends of the show right now and so far from even crossing paths right now but WWE has to figure that out before they break up the Shield.
9. Rob Van Dam – RVD is back.  He’s doing RVD type of things.  He’s the whole fucking show.  Maybe he’s too high (which in RVD’s case that can mean a few things) but I’m still basking in his return.  
10. Alberto Del Rio – Falling into place and picked a good opponent to grow his heel character.  Abandoning his valet.  Winning the Smackdown belt.  Putting on solid matches.  He’s never going to be the good guy against a returning RVD.  So again, WWE is working it perfectly to strengthen his heel persona.  He’s one or two good promos or matches away from shooting up this list.
11. AJ Lee – I can’t believe I’m putting a woman, other than a McMahon, in the top 20 but that promo by AJ on RAW was as good as any.  Not on the level of CM Punk’s “pipe bomb” shoot a few years ago but very good.  Now she has to do something with it.  If I have to suffer through Totally Divas but get a work by AJ like this, it might just be worth it.
12. Christian – Working the “I’ve been there / done that / I’m good because I’m still here” is fine for now.  It seems like he and Y2J just swap scripts.  Are we sure they’re not the same person?  I don’t think we’ve seen the two of them in the same room for the past 5 years.
13. Curtis Axel – Don’t let this midland rank fool you.  He’s young and we’re not 6 months into this gimmick / character for him.  He needs a little bit of refining on the mic.  Great job to put him with Heyman (and in turn Brock if need be).  He could be in the 10 – 20 range for a while but that’s fine as he gets better and really fleshes out his character in and out of the ring.
14. Fan-Dan-Go – I’m not going to lie, I don’t understand his popularity any longer.  It was cute for the night after WM but now I’m confused to what I’m supposed to think of him.  Are we supposed to like the arrogant jerk or dislike the vicious wrestler with a bad gimmick (the hot Kelly Kelly look-a-like doesn’t hurt)?
15. Prime Time Players – I like that the WWE hasn’t made Darren Young’s revelation that he’s gay part of their gimmick.  Nothing good would come of it.  The WWE is not known for it’s tact regarding social commentary so playing it like everything is normal is probably the best.  Besides, they’re working their way up the ladder.  Titus O’Neil is a beast (while you’d have to say Young is the better wrestler).  
16. The Miz – He should be grateful to be back in the ring.  This was a headliner and the heir to the figure-4-leg-lock who up until last week hadn’t wrestled a meaningful match in months.
17. Zeb and the Americans – I can’t tell if Zeb Colter is overshadowing Zack Swagger and AC or if they’re underperforming?  Either way, I’m fascinated to see how far the WWE goes (or let’s the leash out) with Zeb’s promos.  I’m amazed he hasn’t crossed a line at some point.  Credit a good writing staff and performer who walks the tightrope of a Tea Party crazy. 
18. Kane – Always getting the top spot but loosing for the betterment of the WWE.  It must be his vacation time.  His head being “smashed” by the triangular steps was one of the worse stunts in a while. 
19. Mark Henry – Second biggest jobber to Kane.  He’s on here because even though he’s lost a lot lately, he’s been a beast in the ring and the new camera angle when he comes out makes him look like a mountain.  I’m not too big to give “cool points” on this list.
20. Funkasaurus and Sweet-T – I might be the only adult who likes the Funkasaurus’ song and dance.  I only put up with it because I can sing…Somebody call Byrd’s momma (my cat’s name).  

      Honorable Mention

Sandow and Rhodes – These two are poised to have a long feud.  It seems like it’s going to run on Smackdown, which means less people will see it.  I already know their matches will be brought up to me the next time my Wrestling Crew gets together for a PPV and someone will tell me how great their matches have been and that I’m missing out.  I don’t see why Rhodes had to shave the mustache?  I’m too lazy to jump on Tout to find out why.  

Side note - out of all the good things that WWE is doing, they still don’t know how to cut and run from financial failures.  Is there any question that WWE has some sort of stake in Tout and is financial vested in it’s continued existence?  The WWE is to Tout, as what Mexicans and sexual predators are to MySpace.  They’ve already embraced Twitter, have a YouTube channel and have their own app.  Ditch Tout and let us bury it with Beniot’s championship records.

That’s all for the first installment.  Let’s hope I can keep this up.  I also hope to add a few surprises to this.  We’ll see...

Thanks and feel free to leave your ranking opinions

Russia, Olympics, Gays – What Should We do?

The question is so stupid and the answer is so easy. I don’t even want to give this topic the energy to pontificate a long response. Here’s the solution:



You Go

You Win

You Shove it in their face

History will dictate who was right.



Every time, EVERY TIME, there’s a civil / human rights issue that comes up it’s always best to respectfully and gloriously protest. Whether it’s Germany in 1938 or Mexico City in 1968 the best way to enlighten the world and change minds is for the oppressed to go, participate against the odds and most importantly win. Documentaries are made about the bold; footnotes are for the silent boycotters.

A boycott may work on a local or financial level. The Olympics are not going to loose any money by gay athletes not participating. The only people who would loose out are the athletes who’ve worked their whole lives for this opportunity and the fans who want to see sport played at its pinnacle.

Another saying that I like is ‘history is written by the winners.’ You know why we don’t know much about the Mayan civilization? Because they’re all dead. Do we celebrate “white history month” and have statues erected of great slave owners and wave the flag of the south…ok, I see this isn’t the best example. If the Crusades of the Catholic Church hadn’t been some sort of successes (I hate to muddy civil / human rights with religion) but if the Crusades had been a gigantic failure, everyone had died and the Catholic / Christian word had not spread, I don’t think the Church would have its own country and be an influential part of current society. History books are not written by the losers of the war. Little children in Kansas aren’t using chopsticks to eat their sauerkraut sausages because we lost WWII.

Quickly, name every protestor who used a boycott to win over a global decision… You can’t. Does anyone remember Kareem Abdul-Jabbar boycotting the 1968 Olympics? Or do you remember Tommie Smith and John Carlos? Who made the more historical impact? I’ll let you pick two of the three men. Did you pick the one who is arguably the best basketball player to ever live? Didn’t think so.

In sports the answer is easy. Show up and Win. There might not be a greater platform to have than to be the best athlete in your sport. Obama is only president for eight years. Michael Jordan will be Michael Jordan for the rest of his life. Lebron James and Tiger Woods will be forefront in people’s lives for the next 10 years. Even after Obama and the president after him, it’s likely we’ll still be talking about what James and Woods are doing and report on what they’re saying.

Fighting for equality is not easy. It’s hard and scary. If this was easy, you wouldn’t have to “fight” for your rights. If you’re two choices are to either boycott Russia because of their views on gays and gay rights or to go and participate in the games and win (let’s not forget, sometimes showing up to participate can be a win as well); I’m sorry, get off your gay ass and ride that rainbow to Sochi and do your best to win. You may not even have to say one word. Tommie Smith, John Carlos and Jesse Owens (before them) didn’t have to say a word to make the loudest noise.