Thursday, March 27, 2014

BEARcast - WrestleCast 3/26/2014

BEARcast - WrestleCast 2014-03-26 with Fred "The Oracle" and special guest Dustin

Tremendous BEARcast today.  This week’s WrestleCast recaps RAW from Monday, 3/24/2014, and at the end we’re joined by our special guest Dustin “Tha Doc-ta” who gives us his HOT TAKES.  If you thought last week Fred was upset with how the rankings stacked up, wait until you hear him go off on who’s #1 this week.  Fred gets his revenge by dropping a fantasy booking that leaves both Dustin and the Bear speechless!


Please check us out at www.worldofbear.com and on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/world-of-bear/id828777439?mt=2 and don't forget to Subscribe!  Also, don't forget to spread the word to friends, family and fans.

Thanks,
WK
@wkbear on Twitter or email the show at WorldOfBearBC@gmail.com to send in ideas and comments.


Tuesday, March 25, 2014

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 3/24/2014

Coming at you from Brooklyn, but all I can think about is “Winter is Coming” and Captain America: Winter Soldier.  I’ve already warned friends and family that two weeks forms now, I’m not to be bothered because it is going to be a very busy “nerd” weekend.  Luckily, or wisely, The Walking Dead’s season finale is this weekend, as to avoid television watchers the realization that one program is a truly great show, Game of Thrones, and the other is a passable adaptation that’s found a huge audience that’s just looking for some Sunday night relief via mindless brain-smashing gore, The Walking Dead, before going to work on Monday.  

Don't forget to check out the BEARcast - WrestleCast for a weekly companion podcast and SUBSCRIBE on iTunes.

As I mentioned last week, I want to do one of my famous RAW mashups.  What better time to do a GoT / RAW mashup? I’ll tell you what time, next week.  Why wait?  Easy, because this is the last week before what’s usually the most straight forward RAW of the year.  Next week’s RAW is when they sell WresleMania and walk the thin marketing tightrope of bringing out all the stars and hyping up all the matches for WM30 while not showing anything new.  Maybe for the fair weather or occasional wrestling fan the WWE needs to have a show to set up WM30 but We hardcore weekly fans need not a show that recaps what’s been going on over the past few months and what the major feuds are.  With the assumption that next week will be a 3-hour commercial for WM30, that’s when I’ll do the Game of Thrones mashup.  Besides, I’ve got to start re-watching the past 30 GoT episodes to make sure I’m nice and ready for the season premier.  Always remember “beware episode nine of each season of Game of Thrones.”  We’ll travel through WWEsteros next week.

The penultimate episode of RAW before WM30 is the last chance to for anything major to happen.  Even with most of the WrestleMania card set, there’s still some fine tuning, tweaks to be made and a few slots that need to be fleshed out and character’s roles defined.  The biggest question that remains is, What is Shield going to do?  Most everybody is involved in a feud or pointed into the direction of a match.  Even those who aren’t doing anything week-to-week will be thrown into the 30-man Battle Royal.  The Shield are the only major characters that don’t have a set feud or match.  This week’s RAW should tell us what their role in WM will be.  

Love him or hate him, HHH ran RAW last week.  He, Stephanie and the creative team did what’s “best for business” and interjected some life into the main event at WM30.  Some could complain that he did so by making himself the center of attention but you’re not going to hear too many complaints out of me.  Say what you will about HHH and the front and backstage history that follows him, he’s rarely boring and knows how to put on a good wrestling product in and out of the ring.  The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least and have given the wresting universe something to talk about.

The pre-WM30 hype has already begun with a planned appearance by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Joe Manganiello (also to promote their upcoming Sabotage movie).  This duo is eerily similar to the Hogan / Cena team-up from a few weeks ago.  The past his prime superstar and the new generation of action / wrestling star.  At the very least it will be interesting to see how “Big Dick Richie” sizes up to the current crop of wrestlers.  


Oh, and let’s not just skim past the fact the WWE is in Brooklyn, NY.  Some would call the Barclay’s Center the new home of the WWE.  No matter if it’s MSG or Barclay’s, the New York crowd can always be counted as one of the best rasslin’ crowds which always makes for a good show.  

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 3/24/2014…

  1. HHH and Stephanie (1&2) – You’ve got to be impressed with the type of work that HHH and Stephanie are putting into their product.  Take the Mr. McMahon character for example.  It was good.  It was great to have such a villainy villain who seemed to revel in what he did, but it was the same each week.  It wasn’t bad, it was just the same.  HHH and Stephanie are the bad guys but each week they challenge themselves and the audience on how we interpret them as heels.  Each week, the duo is able to keep even the snarkiest heel-loving marks, such as myself, on our toes.  You never know if they’re going to come out and give the audience what they want or choose to care less and give the audience the exact opposite.  They handpick RKO to be the unified champ and then undermine his entire title reign.  They’ll slip in phrases that challenge performers on and off the WWE roster.  They’ll reference backstage rumors from 10 years ago or a tweet from before the show.  They’ll speak their lines without flinching or hesitation with 15-20,000 people chanting for a wrestler that to all accounts is no longer active (CM Punk).  They’ll stop the show to antagonize the crowd, just because they can.  They’re the magicians / puppet masters who are so good and confident that they’re willing to show you how they do their tricks because they know they’ve got better ones lined up next week.  This week, Stephanie came out and displayed balls bigger than any male wrestler in the WWE.  She took on an extremely hot crowd by herself with only her “intellect and character” (I love this woman) and has made Batista and RKO something to watch, whereas a few weeks ago everyone was dreading the WM30 main event.  Last week HHH took the risk of making the show all about HHH but it worked out in part to a high powered, brutality filled ending.  This week HHH decided, in the middle of a fired up NYC crowd, to have a 60 minutes-like sit-down interview AND it still worked.  Any other promoter would have killed to have such a crazed crowd.  HHH had a crazed crowd and decided to stop the show to do a shoot on them and the other wrestlers?!  It’s amazing.  HHH and Stephanie might not have hit the extremes of last week but they did a very good job.  While Mr. McMahon might have ridden out the Batista vs RKO match in past years, HHH and Stephanie are not afraid to switch things up just right up to the last minute to make the WM30 main even better.  Respect. 

  2. The Shield (7) – If I gave even half a shit about Ryb-Axel, I might have felt sorry for them when The Shield came out.  But I don’t, so I didn’t.  Thank you Shield for taking out Ryb-Axel.  This was a big night for The Shield.  We learned their fate for WM30 and we got them in two matches and one promo, both of which they’re just so fucking cool.  Is there a week that Rollins DOESN’T do something new?  That’s not to take away from Ambrose or Reigns but Rollins has stolen the show / match for the past month and has raised his game.  Once thought to be the odd man out if The Shield were to ever break up, now he might be the best wrestler of the three.  We now know what’s in-store for The Shield at WM30, a 6-man tag against Kane and The NAO.  Is this my dream match for The Shield at WM?  No, but it could be worse.  Other than the main event / HHH vs Bryan match, The Shield vs Kane & Co. has the most chance of outside interference.  What’s great is that I welcome it.  Bring on every obstacle Kane can muster because I believe in The Shield so much that it doesn’t matter who they’re fighting, they’re going to kick ass. 
  3. Bray and The Wyatt Family (9) – A slight downgrade this week on Bray / The Wyatt’s backstage shoot but considering they’ve been hitting home runs the past few weeks, a double isn’t going to hurt Bray.  Harper is Cena’s natural in-ring equivalent so there wasn’t much expectations to this match.  The match was slogging along until the lights went out and Cena was trapped in the ropes with Rowan’s lamb mask on.  This one visual made up for any faults that this feud had throughout the night.
  4. John Cena (8) – How focused did Cena really have to get in order to fight against Harper?  The Brooklyn crowd was so split and so loud, it was hard to hear the two sides of Cena’s heat.  Finally, the crowd figured out that “Cena sucks” doesn’t mean anything but instead they chanted “Let’s Go Harper.”  Who knows when Harper will get that kind of crowd support again so I won’t pee on his parade.  As you know, and I repeat all the time, Cena rises to the level of his opponent.  This Harper vs Cena match wasn’t going to cause Twitter to shut down.  We can all be happy that it ended with a pretty cool moment, even if for Cena he was on the wrong side of the moment. 
  5. The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar w/ advocate Heyman (N/A&11) – One of the things the WWE has always done well and taken pride in are Undertaker entrances.  There was a little botching of this week’s entrance when you saw the apron moving around as Undertaker hid before reappearing in the casket but considering all the production involved and the fact that the live audience probably didn’t see any missteps, it’s amazing how they pull off the various Undertaker entrances.  The best part was when Brock is tapping on the top of the casket with his foot as in, knock-knock come out and play.  Other than Kane’s fire, The Undertaker is one of the last supernatural gimmicks that the WWE does.  I suppose in 2014 it’s hard to have characters come from “parts unknown” or “the deepest darkest corners of Africa” but there was some magic to those old gimmicks.  I was watching the WWE Networks 10 best entrances and some of the best entrances were totally over the top and impractical or racist or too risky (i.e. jump lining down from the roof) but they were cool.  Remember the Brood?  Rising up through the floor, through a ring of fire and drinking blood?  That was pretty bad ass.  It’s funny to see that Edge and Christian went on to become a great tag team and have individual success while the leader, Gangrel, never really did much.  Just goes to show, in wrestling you’ve got to have the whole package.  The Undertaker isn’t 21-0 by accident and he wasn’t given this streak, which will probably never be broken, just by chance.

  6. Randy Orton (4) – RKO has been great.  He’s also be oddly quiet and subservient to The Authority.  He’s embraced the “boring” chants and unlike other wrestlers who are actually boring, this feels more part of his gimmick.  It’s tough to embrace an entire crowd screaming that you’re doing a poor job but no one ever said being a heel was easy.  Regardless if he retains the title at WM30, he’s got some good crowd heat, he’s a good worker, fits the WWE heavyweight mold and has been so quite of late that he could go in any direction.  While I’d love for him to keep the championship, I’m kinda interested in what other things RKO could do.  I feel he’s been stuck in the same place for at least the past year.
  7. Batista (5) – While RKO might get the “boring” chants, Batista IS boring.  As if on cue, when the “boring” chants were at their peak for RKO, Boo-tista comes walking out.  Not even Batista’s mic wants to listen to him drone on and on.  At a quick glance you might think RKO and Batista are the same but after two minutes of mic work and / or ring work, you can see RKO’s superiority.  It’s funny that everything that the WWE has done the last month to make the WM30 main event interesting has all been because they screwed up Batista in January.  Because they misread, or maybe a better word would be misunderstood, Batista’s most valuable qualities, they pushed him as a face when he should have been a heel by the end of his first night back.  He’s been awful as a face.  Watching him try to turn heel has been excruciating.  If day one, he comes back to a big pop but then turns on Daniel Bryan or any other face THEN goes into the “I’m only here to win championships” that could have solved a lot of repositioning and maneuvering by the WWE these last few months.  It’s not a good sign when the three other things in the ring don’t want to work with you; the owner, your opponent and the mic.  At the very least we learned one lesson; you can boo him, you can make fun of him but you do not break Batista’s glasses.
  8. Cody Rhodes w/ Goldust (10) – Cody got his turn to beat up on Fandango and exact revenge on Fandango for botching a few moves against Goldust last week.  In a weird surprising twist, The Usos are fighting Ryb-Axel at WM30 while the Rhodes Brothers are doing nothing.  Just a few weeks ago, I predicted a tremendous Fatal 4-way Tag Championship match between The Usos, Rhodes, The NAO and your choice of The Real Americans / Ryb-Axel / any other tag team.  As of right now, we’re not getting a Brother vs Brother match nor are Cody and Goldust involved in anything else at WM30?  C’mon WWE, you solved the mystery of what The Shield was doing at WM30, now it’s time to let us know what’s happening with the Rhodes brothers.  You’ve got one more week to give them something more than filler for the 30-man Battle Royal.
  9. The Real Americans w/ Zeb (11) – How badly would you want to see a Cesaro / Rollins singles match?  That’s no disrespect to Ambrose, who was great, and no respect to Swagger, who was his normal C+ level talent.  Add this team to group of potential WM30 matches that I would have bet heavily on seeing.  Cody vs Goldust / Titus vs Young / Cesaro vs Swagger were all matches and feuds that in previous years would have concluded at WM.  They’re not even involved in any of the top tag matches, or have I already forgotten them?  What was with the Cesaro push if he’s not going to do squat at WM?  I guess this 30-man Battle Royal is way more important than any of us could imagine. 
  10. Big E (13) – What could have been a brilliant match / feud between Big E and his former mentor Ziggler, we get Christian vs Big E?  Thank god it’s only going to be on the WWE Network so it doesn’t take up valuable room on my DVR.  I’m still in shock that Christian won.  Big E should be pissed too.  What does fighting Christian do for Big E?  Feuding with Ziggler, and ADR to a lesser extent, would have a greater significance for Big E, whether he wins or looses.
  11. The Miz (N/A) – I give credit to the Miz.  He finally came out with some old school Miz flavor.  It’s been a long time since we’ve seen the suit and tie douche bag Miz.  He was actually pretty good against Joe, Arnold and Hogan.  There was a time, not long ago where we were all cheering for the Miz as a top contender.  He wasn’t lying about WM27.
  12. Alberto Del Rio / Dolph Ziggler / Christian / Sheamus (13/13/17/19) – A Fatal 4-way match to see who will challenge Big E for the IC belt, by process of elimination you’d have to say that Ziggler was going to win the match.  Christian and Sheamus are on Who-Gives-a-Fuck-Island and ADR isn’t getting a push if the rumors are true that he’s soon to retire / leave the WWE.  This leaves Ziggler as the odds on favorite to win the match and fight Big E for the IC title.  I couldn’t be happier.  I’ve been wanting a Ziggler / Big E feud for the longest time.  I think it would really help both wrestlers.  I can’t believe it’s taken this long for the WWE to finally put these two together for a great…WAIT, WHAT?!?!?  What just happened?  Christian won?  Why?  What for?  Did the WWE not hear how over Ziggler was?  WTF is going on around here?
  13. Korporate Kane (15) – On Smackdown, Kane used just about every tag team to take down The Shield.  He even drew in the NAO as partners to take on The Shield at WM30.  I’d have to say this isn’t the best use for Kane or The Shield but it’s not the worse.  The looser of all these last minute changes are the Usos.  We were all expecting at least a NAO rematch or some sort of triple threat / fatal 4-way at which the Usos could have a great WM moment.  Now it seems that all the Usos get is a quick hand job behind the arena and an easy win against Ryb-Axel.   
  14. Titus O’Neil (18) – Is this dude getting a push or not?  I’m cool with waiting until after WM30 to start the Titus O’Neil storyline.  I get the silly St. Patrick’s Day gimmick last week but what was the point of this week’s match with Big Show?  I get it, they’re both in the Battle Royal.  Don’t we have more important things to get to?  Where’s Darren Young?  First no Rhodes brother feud and now no Primetime Player feud at WM30?  A 12-year old could have booked those two matches for WM so what happened?
  15. The Big Show (13) – I’m assuming the WWE wants you to believe that Big Show is the giant that will take center stage at the 30-man Battle Royal.  I think we could have safely assumed that.  Let’s get to the real question that’s been bothering me for the past 10 years.  Many wrestlers do this too.  Why is it, when a big wrestler who wears some sort of strap-y unitard gets pissed do they rip down the straps and start to kick ass?  If the straps are so cumbersome, why have them on in the first place?  Right before Big E does his finisher, he essentially takes his shirt off to perform said finisher.  Why not start the match that way and he’d be able to do the finisher ASAP?  For the life of me I can’t figure out why the Big Show’s straps would get in the way of his Mega-punch (or whatever it’s called)?  This seems like poor costume preparedness.  Thankfully, Big Show beat Titus fairly quickly and we could get back to more interesting items.  
  16. Damien Sandow (13) – I feel horrible for Sandow.  It’s one thing to be a part of the Yes Movement or jobbing to The Shield but having to put over Sin Cara and Scooby Do?  This was last year’s Money In The Bank winner.  Two weeks before WM30 he’s jobbing to a masked man with a stoner dog on behalf of a cartoon you’re not even in.  
  17. Fandango w/ Summer Rae (16) – Fandango should be grateful Summer got a gig on Total Divas because he’s not doing too much these days.  I’m sure he has access to the WWE Network and should check out old tapes of Ravishing Rick Rude or Razor Ramon and see how a seemingly silly gimmick doesn’t mean you can’t become a legendary Superstar.
  18. Diva’s Match: Naomi w/ Cameron vs AJ Lee w/ Tamina (20) – Last week, Naomi had a cool looking rhinestone eyepatch but this week it looks like Naomi has been taken over by Starro!  At least I got what I asked for last week.  AJ vs Naomi in a quick, one segment match to see if these two really have the goods or are we just so desperate for a quality Divas match we’ll take anything close to it.  Or at least that’s what I thought we were going to get.  Instead of getting a promising Divas match, we got a true heel move from AJ.  Taking her title and walking out on a 10-count is…well, it’s old school heel.  All was good until, Vickie Guerrero stepped in to announce a Divas mini Battle Royal.  It doesn’t look good if you’re hoping that AJ will retain her strap at WM30.  It also doesn’t look good if you’re expecting a well wrestled Divas match at WM30 either.  


  19. Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs Ryb-Axel (N/A&13) – I’d rather have 19 empty slots on the Power Rankings than to degrade them with taking up two slots with these two horrible teams.  To my amazement, surprise and disgust Ryb-Axel is getting a title shot against the Usos at WM30.  Jimmy / Jon (?) Uso comes off as the second best person on Total Divas (second to Daniel Bryan) and you’d think that the Usos would get a push due to the exposure that they’re getting from that show.  I understand being the tag champs is a big deal but if you’re gonna scrape the bottom of the barrel for opponents, have the Usos fight both Los Matadores and Ryb-Axel?
  20. Sin Cara and Scooby Do (N/A) – This had to have been the worst segment.  I know, I know, they’re trying to promote a product.  Here’s just a few of my issues, in no particular order; A) Clearly Sin Cara lost the bet on who had to do this miserable sell job.  B) Was it just me or did it look like Scooby was played by Khali?  C) It’s not a good sign when the guy wearing the mask can clearly see better than the guy wearing the Scooby outfit.  D) Since Sin Cara never speaks and we know it's a different wrestler wearing the Sin Cara mask, who actually voiced the character of Sin Cara on the DVD?  Does it even matter?  I could have been the voice and who would have known the difference?  Am I the voice of Sin Cara?  God, I hope no one has taken @TheVoiceOfSinCara on twitter yet because we could really have some fun with that…



Honorable Mentions

Scott Hall – The last selection to the Hall of Fame is Razor Ramon!  Special shout out to Fred “The Oracle” for getting this inside info before anyone else.  Life’s been tough for Hall the last few years but he’s cleaned up and is now going into the WWE HoF.  Now Freddy’s theory of an NWO-like turn by Hogan on Cena doesn’t look so crazy, does it?  If not for HBK vs Razor Ramon’s ladder match, main stream wrestling might never have progressed to TLC?  As with any “what if” who knows if we’d still have tables, ladders, chairs, barbed wire, sledgehammers, or any other multitude of weapons matches but their ladder match brought it to the main stream and assured future success and continuance with those types of matches.  Hall / Ramon was also one of the first Bad Guys who all the crowd rooted for.  “Let’s hear it for the bad guys,” wasn’t just limited to marks and older fans who would cheer for the Randy Savages of the world but whole areas would cheer for Razor.  Along side Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall changed the wrestling world with the NWO storyline.  It nearly crippled the WWE, almost led the WCW to take out the WWF at the time, launched the Monday Night Wars and ultimately caused the WWE to adopt the attitude era.  Those three were also the catalysts for so many wrestlers to be able to have competition and make millions of dollar more than ever before.  Hall is a well deserving member of the Hall of Fame.  There’s very few people who you can point to and say, without him wrestling wouldn’t be where it is today and Hall is one of those people.


Daniel Bryan – When talking about good for business, it’s funny how Bryan works the weekend “dark” shows but not TV because he can essentially be on RAW and have his story continue via clips and the reading of tweets.  Congrats on a night off.  Rest up because it seems like you’re going to be very busy the next few weeks.



Side Note(s)

Brooklyn / NYC crowd – As in many instances, the people of the NYC may have bought into their own hype too much.  Usually one of the best crowds and they certainly brought the energy this week but they were almost too ahead of the game.  Two instances stuck out in my head.  “You sold out” to Triple H?  REALLY?  Not only did he sell out, he bought the farm, put a ring on it and gave up his seed to the business.  He clearly loves the business and works hard at it so you can’t chant “you sold out” to the real CEO of the WWE.  Also, they were a bit too quick to scream out “this is awesome” on every little move.  There needs to at least a few minutes of superior ringwork or a move never before seen to get “this is awesome.”  I respect you NYC, just take it down a notch.  “The world does not start and stop at your convenience you miserable piece of shit.” (what’s that from?)

Quick thought for a fantasy booking.  RKO has never given up the 2 belts / combined them into one belt and the WWE makes him carry them around.  Maybe if HHH wins, he takes the WWE belt and wears it as champion while RKO retains the World belt and has to defend it on a weekly basis?  This is how HHH can become champion but not have to defend it.  He could have a surrogate wrestler as co-champion and HHH can come out on the big shows?  It sounds silly but there’s got to be a reason that they haven’t combined the two belts into one?

Don't forget to check out www.worldofbear.com for the weekly BEARcast WrestleCast, and subscribe on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/world-of-bear/id828777439?mt=2

Until next week…




Friday, March 21, 2014

BEARcast - WrestleCast 3/19/2014

BEARcast - WrestleCast 2014-03-19 with Fred "The Oracle"

In today's BEARcast, Fred and I do our weekly WrestleCast and recap RAW from Monday, 3/17/2014, and continue to look down the "Road to WrestleMania."  Last week Fred blew everyone away with an insane but possible NWO fantasy booking, this week was my turn to make Fred's head explode.  Luckily we were not in the same room otherwise Fred might have torn me in half when we discussed who and how I ranked at #1!


Please subscribe and share with Friends, Family and Fans.  To directly link to iTunes, click here https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/world-of-bear/id828777439?mt=2


Thanks,
WK
@wkbear on Twitter or email the show at WorldOfBearBC@gmail.com

Send in ideas and comments.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 3/17/2014

Coming at you from San Antonio, what better way to celebrate St. Patty’s Day than to sit back with a nice cold 40 oz. of Mickey’s bigmouth and watch some rasslin’?

Life is short, and if you’re a watcher of the television series Walking Dead and subscribe that it’s more of a documentary / preparatory guide to the upcoming End of Days when the “dead shall rise" rather than an entertainment program bastardized from one of the best comic books ever written, you might think mankind’s rule over the earth is soon to come to an end.  If this is true, humans have been merely a shooting start that shined bright for only a short period of time on an earth that is over four billion years old.  

Last night may have been the end to another shooting star but this one flew across the wrestling universe.  During last night’s post-show to The Walking Dead, “Talking Dead,” wrestling fans might have been witness to the end of something that has been rumored but we fans have refused to believe for some time.  We may have seen the last of the unforgettable and brilliant shooting star of Phillip Brooks aka CM Punk.  Punk, a comic book fan and a previous guest on the Talking Dead show, was introduced as Phil Brooks with a twitter handle of @CMPunk but not WWE Superstar nor “former” WWE Superstar nor wrestler CM Punk.  Just Phil Brooks (sometimes host Chris Hardwick mentioned he’s also known as CM Punk) but other than a few quick drops, all that sat on the couch was Phil Brooks, Walking Dead fan.

Wrestlers never fully retire and Punk is way to young to say that you’ll never see him in a ring again but as of now it seems that CM Punk is truly done with wrestling.  Keep in mind, by the time I’m done watching the next three hours of RAW I could very easily have to retract everything I just said.  This still could be the greatest shoot of all time or just Punk’s way of taking time off.  HBK was gone for multiple years before healing up and getting back in the ring for another half decade of superior matches.  Punk is much younger than when HBK first left due to injury.  We often forget that these performers are essentially putting themselves though the equivalent of a car crash at 80 MPH each match, four of five times a week.  It’s a job that comes with great rewards but it also has huge consequences and demands on one’s body and soul.  

Speaking of demands on one’s body and soul, my “hate-watch” must TV program is back on.  Total Divas is back and I promise to give my opus to why I can’t stand this show.  It’s much deeper than just a distain for reality television, which deepening on the show I actually love.  I was there for Real World season 1 when it reality was just “seven strangers picked to live in a house…” and not a drunken feeder show for The Challenge.  Before 20 women pretended to find the man of their dreams via a series of televised “dates” and creepy sexual encounters that walk the line of pornography on network television.  Back when “Housewives” were called moms and just took you to school.  Oh, look at me, I’m becoming old and curmudgeonly right before your eyes.  The point being, Total Divas is back.  I suffered through the first episode last night.  More to come on that later. 

With WrestleMania 30 (and Game of Thrones, oohhhhhh I think we might just need a GoT special edition next week!) just three weeks away, there’s a ton to get to.  Most of the main battle lines for WM30 have been set but there’s still a few loose ends left and stories to be tightened up on.  If you listened to the BEARcast last week, and I can’t imagine an excuse not to (new episode will be up this Thursday), then you’ll have heard some interesting theories / results for WM30 and Fred “The Oracle” came out of left field with a NWO fantasy booking that is so crazy that it might just work.  Also, it seems I’m the only one left on Boo-tista island and both Fred and Dustin have jumped onto the Batista bandwagon.  Now that the CM Punk mystery that’s been hanging over our heads is put to rest (for now) we can lock in to what we see in the ring.  This is usually the week that most of the WM30 card is set and then the next two Mondays will dedicated to fleshing out and hyping up said WM30 card.  It’s all very exciting.

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 3/17/2014…

  1. HHH (7) – Being the opening act on RAW and kickstarting a show is one thing, to make me interested in the Batista / RKO main event at WM30 is a monumental task that only a trained professional should attempt.  HHH makes Power Rankings history and gets two spots this week.  HHH, Batista and RKO put on a better shoot than I ever thought was possible.  Interjecting himself was such a HHH / “Clique” move.  We know the WWE listens to it’s fans, or the WWE wouldn’t have moved heaven and earth to get Daniel Bryan (and possibly HHH) in the main event at WM30 and HHH wouldn’t have thrown out the “Hollywood Movie Star” and “Technically gifted” shots at Batista / RKO if they weren’t listening to the fans and scrubbing through twitter and dirt sheet websites.  I loved the whole opening.  Even down to RKO taking out Boo-tista and giving us some classic RKO posturing.  I’d still bet on Bryan somehow advancing into the main event and winning the title against RKO and Batista BUT now at least there’s some intrigue and possibilities.  Last week I was joking that HHH reverse “Clique’d” himself by all but guaranteeing that he’ll have to job to Daniel Bryan at WM30.  This week, HHH pulled an actual “Clique” move by basically telling Bryan the old “If Bret won’t do what’s best for business, we’ll do it for him.” right to his face.  It was really interesting seeing the Cerebral Assassin / Backstage Manipulator being contrite and almost showing some humanity.  Almost…
  2. HHH and Stephanie (7) – Of course this was all a ruse to teach Bryan the ultimate lesson that you don’t cross The Authority and to show that HHH is indeed in in-ring shape.  Anyone that’s had a relationship with someone longer than six months has gone through the same arguments (and looks) that HHH and Stephanie were having.  The reason why it worked is because it was so real.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  When it turned out to be a setup by The Authority, I had to give them a standing ovation.  Not that you couldn’t see it coming from a mile away but that it came off so well is why it worked.  When HHH and Stephanie look like they’re having fun (even when they’re being awful people) its pure gold.  HHH even got in some shots at CM Punk when he referred to other people “taking their ball and going home.”  It was a great night for HHH and Stephanie.  In a two week span they were able to make the WM30 main event more interesting, give Bryan an unforgettable RAW moment AND get their revenge for said moment.  It’s why you can almost never etch anything in stone when it comes to WWE storytelling.  You’ve got to give the WWE credit for scripting out stories six months to a year in advance but also having the balls to change directions two weeks prior to the biggest event of the year.  The only negative item I have to point out is that the WWE creative is screwing up when they have HHH saying that he’s sorry for doing all this bad stuff to Bryan because it’s what’s “best for business” over the loud backdrop of the fans screaming YES YES YES!  By them pretending to not acknowledge the crowd, which we know they do, we can extrapolate that Bryan is walking out of the Superdome as the WWE champion (pure guess). 


  3. Daniel Bryan (1) – Have you seen the movie Now You See Me?  It came out last year and was about magicians pulling off robberies.  It starred Woody Harrelson, the guy from The Facebook movie, Borat’s real-life wife and the other Franco kid.  95% of that movie is great and 5% is bad.  The 5% that’s bad is SO bad that it pisses me off every time I watch it.  What makes that 5% even worse is that it’s the ending.  Without giving anything away, the reveal at the end is so stupid.  It was clear that the director, writer and producers spent so much time working on the execution of the plot I think everyone forgot to stop and ask themselves, “Is the ending any good?”  That’s the direction that I feel we’re headed with Bryan.  HHH admitted the hell he’s put Bryan through these past few months.  My concern is, do they have an ending that will satisfy us?  We can only assume, the WWE wants to end WM30 with the Superdome chanting YES YES YES.  But the anticipation and build up has been so great that unless Bryan decapitates HHH and then moves on to have one of the best triple threat wins in the history of wrestling, it’s going to be a letdown.  We’ve seen Bryan “win” the championship already and overcome all the obstacles that have been placed in his way.  The bar for everyone to put Bryan over is so high, I’m afraid we’re all going to be let down by the ending.  That’s not to say the WWE and Bryan can’t pull it off.  Bryan’s match with RKO was going great (until Batista had to show up) so we know the participants can pull it off.  But if the show ends with some odd spear by Batista to take out RKO and Bryan falls on top for the 1-2-3 to finally win, that’s going to suck.  This is why I’d rather RKO or Batista win at WM30, to temper down anticipation AND then have Bryan win it at the next PPV.  Maybe I’m scared.  I just want a good WM30 and a great ending.  Even with blockbuster movies, great endings are hard to come by.  It’s like in the movie Seven when Morgan Freeman tells Brad Pitt, “If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man.”
  4. Batista (9) – I’m supposed to trust a guy to play Drax “The Destroyer” who can’t remember two lines of script in a wrestling ring?  Fortunately, Drax doesn’t speak much and unlike live TV, I’m sure they had multiple takes.  What’s more disconcerting than a few botched lines is that it seems like Batista forgot how to do the Batista-bomb?  Based on the crowd, I truly am the last one to jump on the Batista bandwagon because Fred “The Oracle,” Dustin “The Doc-ta” and now the crowd in San Antonio, who were cheering “one more time,” seem to all be riding the Batista bandwagon.  At the very least, I’ll say that he’s the WWE’s greatest sunglass model.  
  5. Randy Orton (8) – The Viper has been laying in the weeds long enough and it was time he showed up on RAW and actually wrestled.  RKO proved once again that he’s a talented wrestler and knows how to work a match as a heel.  RKO also came out at the beginning of the show and stole the opening from Batista and HHH with verbal attacks and physically dropped Batista which, for the moment, had us believing that Batista was re-evaluating his choice to come back to the WWE.  It was a good night for RKO.  Unfortunately, I don’t think he’s going to have much luck at WM30.  At least we got some old school RKO-ing.
  6. The Usos (4) – Michael Cole’s Smackdown re-cap opened the door for the Rhodes brothers to possibly sneak into the Tag Team Championship match.  I really hope the WWE doesn’t cop out at WM30 with just a rematch of the Usos vs NAO.  If the WWE is going to hold off the Rhodes Brother vs Brother angle, they can certainly hold off the Real American split and give us a great fatal 4-way tag championship match at WM30.  
  7. The Shield (2) – Can anyone tell me what The Shield is doing at WM30?  It’s extremely odd that the WWE’s top (or one of their top five) assets don’t have anything to do at WrestleMania?  Seeing how they came together to take on Kane just cemented the fact that The Shield can last as a group AND at the same time each member can have individual success.  I love the idea that each member of The Shield could hold a separate individual belt, WWE / IC / US titles all at the same time.  Is it just me or has Rollins become the leader of the Shield?  Each week it seems that someone new steps up to lead the group.  Last week it was Reigns and prior to that it was Ambrose.  I don’t know how many times or ways I can say how awesome they are.  Now if we could only figure out what they’re going to do at WM30?    

  8. John Cena (7) – I gotta give credit when credit is due.  He can shoot.  Clearly, Cena’s taking it light in order to heal up for his match against Bray at WM30.  I’m fine with it.  If you give me the choice between some junk matches with Cena vs Rowan and / or Harper that could further injure Cena and jeopardize a quality match with Bray at WM30 or just let Cena and Bray shoot at each other; I’ll take a few weeks of great promos.  Cena and Bray are engaged in a nice verbal dance.  It might not be the most hyped Cena match in WrestleMania history but it very well could be one of his best.  Fan of the night goes to this household divided.  I know your struggles my friend… 
  9. The Wyatt Family (5) – You know what I said about how, regardless of how you feel about Cena, he can shoot?  Well, Bray Wyatt ain’t too bad either.  Last week I worried about Cena taking the wind out of the “character” of Bray Wyatt by attacking his absurd aspects.  This week it was Bray’s time to shoot at Cena “real life” characteristics.  Bray held back few punches and went for the jugular with shots fired at Cena’s merchandise hawking and “plastic girlfriend”!  Well played, sir.  The next thing you know, Bray gets a Eminem mashup?  Talk about pushes.  Quietly, Bray has gotten on of the biggest pushes I’ve seen in some time.  It’s gone largely unnoticed because when Bray and the rest of the Wyatt Family are fighting, they’ve been stealing the show so it doesn’t really stick out that their getting a push, they’re getting what they deserve.  I was very excited to see what Kofi and Bray were going to do in the ring together but unfortunately they only got a few minutes.  They made the most out of it and it was a solid match but I’d love to have seen it gone on longer.  It seems that I’m starting a collection of The Wyatt Family portraits standing over fallen opponents.
  10. Goldust w/ Cody Rhodes (3) – We finally got a taste of the old Goldust!  Albeit a very toned down / PG rated version of Goldust, it was nice to see some classic Goldust eccentricities. 

  11. The Real Americans w/ Zeb (13) – No matter how well Swagger performs of late, Cesaro keeps topping him.  All-in-all, Swagger was pretty good against the Usos but it wasn’t until Cesaro pulled off another fantastic move (his european uppercut is devastating) that the Real Americans were able to get the victory.  Even in victory, Cesaro separates himself from Swagger.  It seems their feud / breakup is on hold for this week.  I couldn't tell if Zeb was gesturing on how to work together or showing his crew where the people are in the steeple? 
  12. Heyman, Brock Lesnar’s advocate (11) – “Ladies and Gentlemen…Texans.”  I love you Paul Heyman!  Both Heyman and Charles Barkley find the citizens of San Antonio less than human, and I wouldn’t dare go against the words of Paul E Dangerously and The Round Mound of Rebound.  Have you ever seen someone able to pontificate and stretch out calling their opponent “old”?  Heyman spent five minutes just to say The Undertaker was old.  It was beautiful.
  13. 8-man tag match: Big Show / Ziggler / Big E / Henry vs ADR / Sandow / Ryb-Axel (18,N/A,12,N/A,N/A,14,19) – If you wanted to get a taste for what the 30-man Battle Royal is going to look like, here you go.  From the moment it started, the crowd was chanting boring.  It was hard to hear what was going on from my seat in the bathroom.  Luckily I finished up just in time to see the end and move on to the next segment.  I’d put my money on Big Show or Big E (assuming he’s not defending the IC belt) to win the Battle Royal.  I suppose the best we can hope for is that 22-26 men get tossed out and we’re left with half a dozen underused wrestlers like Ziggler and Sandow to put on a good show.  Who are we fooling, Big Show is just going to be tossing people out of the ring one by one and we’ll get the classic shot of 10 wrestlers trying to get Big Show over the top rope.  
  14. Kofi Kingston (N/A) – Poor Kofi, jobbing out again but at least this time it was to one of the top characters in the WWE.  There was no chance that Kofi was going to win but I’d have loved to see a two segment match between Kofi and Bray.  Too bad but at least he faired better Damien Sandow’s silly run out last week.  At least he got to perform.
  15. Korporate Kane (17) – If for two-seconds the WWE thinks that Kane vs The Shield at WM30 is in anyway acceptable, there will be a brick flying though the TV on April 6th.  I thought that Kane and The Shield were on the same side but after The Authority’s Director of Operations was put down by The Shield, I don’t know what’s next for Kane.  I’m sure we’ll learn more in the next two weeks because you can’t have Kane and The Shield doing nothing at the biggest event of the year.  Maybe Kane will “hire” some enforcers and put on 6-man tag.  The enforcers can be surprise new WWE Superstars or a group of up and comers from NXT?
  16. Fandango w/ Summer Rae (N/A) – Finally taking on someone not named SAN-TIN-OOOOOOOOOOO.  While Santino is a great wrestler, the WWE doesn’t let either of them prove it because they’re too busy servicing their silly gimmicks.  That’s not the case with Goldust.   Goldust might be an outrageous character gimmick, but he’s certainly not a wrestler to take lightly.  Summer Rae was able to get some screen time (new Total Divas starlet) but Fandango seemed to be in over his head.
  17. Sheamus (15) – St. Patty’s Day must be Sheamus’s favorite day of the year.  He knows two things will happen on St. Patrick’s day.  He’s going to wrestle and he’s going to have help from or fight against Hornswaggle.  Both happened and with Horny’s help, Sheamus got the win.  Congrats.  I’m still no closer to giving two shits about the Sheamus Christian feud. 
  18. Titus O’Neil (N/A) – Poor Titus.  The Brother looked like he came out of Tyler Perry’s version of Magic Mike.  Never confuse WWE writers for comedy writers.  Sure 1 out of 10 jokes work but for the most part wrestling is a soap opera drama.  Is there no one in the writers room that stands up and says, “Just because his last name is O’Neil, this doesn’t mean we have to try to crowbar a Black Irish joke in the show.”  If the result was to push Titus as a heel, well I guess it worked.  Next week, can we move on with the serious business of black on black crime between Titus and “Mr. Everyday is a day off” Darren Young?
  19. Christian as an announcer at Sheamus / O’Neil match (15) – “No one has ever beat me, I’ve only beat myself.”  I almost jumped out of my chair to call this man a liar!  But then I remembered all the TLC matches that Christian and Edge would win vs The Dudleys or Hardys, and you know what?  He’s right, mostly.  I bet if you took a look at Christian’s all time record, it would have way more wins than you’d expect.  You know what you’d also find?  I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.  Sheamus vs Christian at WM30, it’s FANtastic!
  20. Divas match: AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka vs The Funkadactyls w/ The Bellas on mic (20) – I’m glad to see Naomi (?) back because she was definitely starting to make some waves with her in-ring skills compared to her partner and / or most of the other Divas.  No one wants a real injury but if the result is a bling’d out eyepatch, there are worse braces / casts things to wear.  Naomi was impressive in pulling off a RVD split-leg moonsault to pin AJ.  We only got a few seconds of AJ vs Naomi and it was by far the best part of any Divas match I’ve seen in a while.  I know this sounds crazy but I’d like to see a 5 - 10 minute match to see what these two can do.



Honorable Mentions

Mr. T – New WWE Hall of Famer (celebrity wing)!  Hogan and Mr. T, aka Thunderlips and Clubber Lang.  I’m more surprised that it’s taken this long for Mr. T to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame.  BTW, with all of his recent news, do you think the WWE will be inducting Dennis Rodman into the HoF anytime soon?  Do you think Kim Jung-un is also a fan of Rodman’s wrestling days or is it just of his Bulls era?

Hornswaggle – New star of the WWE film Leprechaun.  Yes, that’s right.  The WWE bought the rights to the Leprechaun series.  Just proving that Vince McMahon still has a great deal of input in the WWE empire.  Can’t you just see Mr. McMahon watching the original Leprechaun movie, jumping out of his chair made of the bones of dead wrestlers, screaming, “We have one of those…You know, midgets!  Buy the rights to that movie immediately and let’s start cranking out remakes, ASAP!  There’s gold at the end of that rainbow.”

#BadNewsBarrett – GET. IN. TH…… Oh who cares.  No one is listening to me.  I’m told that the whole point of Barrett not wrestling is to work fans like me up.  If so, then a job well done.  

DIS-honorable Mention goes to the announce crew during the RKO / Bryan match.  What the fuck was going on with these three?  Lawler was the most lucid on the mic until you overheard him break character and ask Bryan if he’s ok after getting tossed onto the announce table.  It was a complete mess.  None of them were listening to each other.  They even got their own scripts messed up.  JBL couldn’t wait for the possibility of a HHH / Bryan match, as long as Bryan beats HHH?  WTF?  I know there’s a lot of drinking on the River Walk but it’s not like they were in Colorado and all got stoned out of their minds before the show.  OR were they, duh-da-daaa!?


Side Note(s)

TWO more “clean losses” by the Champ(s), Tag and WWE, but the title did not change hands.  Am I bound to this fate and will no one listen that this is an unacceptable practice?!?!?

I have no idea what this WWE Slam City is?  Is it for kids?  Is it a funny show?  It kinda looked like Celebrity Death Match so maybe it’s something we should be checking out?  I’ll do my research and let you know.  Which basically means I’ll ask Fred and he’ll tell me if we should be watching it?

My girlfriend usually only comes down for the John Cena segments, if at all.  Next week I can guarantee that with Joe Manganiello making a guest appearance, she’ll be watching the whole time.  Or at least she’ll instruct me to tell her when he’s on so she can come and watch. 


Until next week…

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