Coming at you from Brooklyn, where it seems that the WWE is doing a nationwide tour of all its best venues. Brooklyn has taken over as the NYC home of the WWE, at least on a RAW basis. Madison Square Garden has been “home” to the WWE for years but of late the WWE has planted their flag in the hipster-dome. Last week’s Chicago crowd brought it. Let’s hope the NYC / Brooklyn fans live up to their mark-fan reputation.
Not only did the New York crowd live up to expectations but they were well rewarded with a great surprise guest. The Rock!!! OMG!!!
Not the usual recap promo warning. The WWE is really pushing Ambrose. Perhaps with the recent injuries and the need for a top tier baby face, the WWE is doing all they can to push Ambrose into a top spot
So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 10/06/2014...
- The ROCK *special #1* Just to prove the point that we are lacking a real “star” even in this Cena era, the Rock came out and stole the show. Stone Cold, Mankind, The Rock, HBK, HHH, etc. these were stars.
- Dean Ambrose (1) – The twist of having a Cena vs Ambrose match at Hell in a Cell to which the winner will face Rollins in said cell was revealed Monday. They seem to be painting themselves in an odd corner. We all want to see Ambrose vs Rollins. But can you imagine that Cena will loose in an early PPV match and not be included in the main event? So how exactly is this all going to go down? Famously, the writers from Breaking Bad painted themselves into corners and were masterful in getting Walt and Jessie out of those corners. I don’t have the same faith in the WWE creative staff as I do with Vince Gilligan and crew, but that’s just my opinion… And who was the brain child that thought that we were going to be fooled with Ambrose getting on a subway car. Even the most obscure / backwoods member of the Wyatt family could guess that the subway system probably has a stop no more than a few blocks away and Ambrose could get back on the train to return to the arena. This was very frustrating to watch. Later, Ambrose gave the SCSA treatment by crashing a hot dog cart and doing the quick draw with Ketchup and Mustard. If not for The Rock, Ambrose would have been best in show. Even Cena got a kick out of Ambrose’s antics. Then got a kick from Ambrose!
- Miz and Damien Miz-dow (2&3) – Delivering fruit baskets and making the world a better place. Once again, Fucking Brilliant. Miz-dow got the bigger pop and had the crowd chanting “Sandow’s better!” Have you ever seen so much heat from a valet delivering a sucker punch like Miz-dow got? By the way, Miz technically got the clean win over Sheamus but no title changed hand. I’m still going to fight the good fight on this one. Although what are the WWE writers supposed to do with such a thin roster at the moment.
- Seth Rollins (4) – The show opener and clearly jumped straight from the shower directly to the ring. My girlfriend’s first thought, “Why is he so wet?” For which I had no answer. I suppose he was trying honor his injured former partner, Roman Reigns, who is the reigning king of pre-ring wetness.
- John Cena (5) – My girlfriend (a Cena fan) was worried that Cena could slip and injure himself on the Slippery When Wet Rollins. The start of hour 2 with Ambrose / Cena was such a waste of time, thank god it paid off by the end of the show. Really, other than letting the Rock go for as long as he wanted, they could have condensed Monday’s RAW into one hour and we would have been fine. I had baseball, football, pre-season NBA and NHL to fit in this week. There was no time for a bullshit three hours. Notice how I didn’t complain about RAW running into the start of GOTHAM? Well, it’s because Gotham sucks and there’s no need to waste your time watching it. (P.S. check out The Flash for a much better comic book TV show premiering this week.)
- Dust Brothers and Cesaro (10&2) – On paper, a great 6-man tag. Yet another glaring example of how thin the WWE roster has become. Not that I don’t love each of these wrestlers and luckily don’t mind watching any match they’re in but who else would they fight? Right now, if you’re not fighting your upcoming opponent at the next PPV, there’s nothing for you to do.
- The Usos and Dolph Ziggler (2) – The Usos are getting a little edgier each week and it’s exactly what they needed. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still two shades away from being an ’80’s Andre Agassi neon accessory but I’m liking these slight heel-ish touches. The most interesting thing about the Usos is that only one of the them is on the Total Divas show. Except for maybe twice, you NEVER see the other Usos. Maybe they’re pulling some sort of Nolan’s The Prestige trick on Naomi. That would explain the sudden rage that the Usos had last week upon seeing the stripper pole. I for sure thought that the usually horny Uso would have loved to seen his wife swing around a stripper pole but maybe he was angry because it was the other Uso who has a more conservative personality? Ops, did I just spoil a 10 year old movie? SPOILERS… My bad. (Go watch it anyway, The Prestige is underrated.) Ziggler vs Cesaro will be great, as will a rematch of Usos vs Dust Bros. I just want to get to the PPV so we don’t have to get burnt out on these same matches week after week.
- Paige and Alicia Fox vs AJ Lee and Emma (7) – Emma back from iPhone case stealing purgatory. AJ did her best not to crack at Emma’s entrance. Let’s face it, other than Naomi and maybe Natalya, these are the top four Divas. Too bad it devolved into nothing. They would have gotten a higher ranking if the match was even somewhat entertaining, that’s how good this part of the Divas division is.
- Sheamus (6) – It’s Sheamus VS The Miz at ‘Cell. Let’s just fast forward two weeks, please? I’m assuming Miz wins and Sheamus is freed to move up to the top tier where the WWE needs more bodies.
- Bray Wyatt / Luke Harper (9) – Speaking of more bodies, this is the second week that we’ve seen Bray set free his disciples. Last week it was just Harper. This week it seems Rowan is being set loose on the world as well. (I’m not as sold on him but ok.) I do hope they put Harper in a suit and tie, or some sort of dirty country club outfit, which would be Wyatt’s way to hide / infiltrate other corners of the WWE. I’m not sure what they’re going to do with Rowan as a singles character? Then in the last second, a pregnant woman with the words “It’s Coming” is written on her belly? I wonder if now that Harper and Rowan are being set free, does that mean we might get to see The Ascension take their place as Bray’s “family” or will we see Sister Abigail? BTW, this is the best WWE produced movie ever.
- Bo Dallas (14) – Once again, Bo gets the cheap win over Henry. Clearly this is setting Henry up for a heel turn but what does this mean for Bo? At least he’s on TV and we aren’t wondering if the WWE is turning their backs on a hot character. They just don’t know what to do with him. You tell me who’s next for Bo? Zach Rider?
- HHH and Stephanie McMahon (12) – Steph gets a B-plus for fashion. There wasn’t much else that they did, EXCEPT for pulling off a great surprise in bring The Rock back. I guess that’s a pretty good job well done.
- Randy Orton and Korporate Kane (13) – The most interesting thing was EVERYONE including Cena is wearing black during the main event. One of these characters is due for a change. Check out the BEARcast - WrestleCast for our theories (www.worldofbear.com and subscribe on iTunes). Nothing is done by accident…
- Rusev w/ Lana (11) – The Rock interrupts!! Here’s a tip to all of you fellas out there, don’t start jacking off to Lana while your girlfriend is watching the show with you. Just have her start to give you head while watching Lana and let your imagination run. This has been a tip from you friend, The BEAR. You’re welcome. Just as I was about to fast forward through this nonsense, The Rock comes out!!! Now my girlfriend could imagine blowing The Rock and that’s how you keep a happy relationship going. It’s called a win-win in our household.
- Mark Henry (15) – WARNING: Heel turn alert.
- The Big Show (16) – I knew something was fishy when Show / WWE “apologized” for pulling down the Russian flag. Now he’s in sensitivity training? The WWE is working us all and it better end with a Kurt Angle vs Rusev match after Big Show loses to Rusev. That’s right, you heard me, Kurt f’n’ing Angle. Check out the BEARcast - WrestleCast for more details (www.worldofbear.com or on iTunes).
- Jack Swagger w/ Zeb vs Tyson Kid (aka Tee-Jaaay) w/ Natalya (N/A) – Is it blasphemy to call Tyson Kid and Nattie the Bizzaro-Shane Douglas and Francine? Did they just put on a decent match? Am I actually intrigued by what’s going on?
- Mini-gator vs El Torito (17) – In a match made for animal planet, we finally get to see the fierce battle between an ancient cold-blooded beast descended from the dinosaurs vs a man killing two ton pure muscle man-king horned mammal. Or at least a midget simulated version of it. I can’t help but think the ghost of Eric “The Midget” is floating with balloons above the ring cursing this atrocity of a wrestling display. “This is stupid!” from the crowd is all you really need to know. Next came the Jeter chants? I guess when New Yorkers are bored they just chant “De-rek Je-ter.”
- B-Bella vs Summer (19) – B-Bella with one arm tied behind her back, that should make this more entertaining (Again, my call for a universal sarcasm font is something that technology has failed in. It’s 2014 and we still don’t have this down yet? Get it together internet.) What’s the moratorium for wrestlers stealing each other’s moves? Summer took Stacy Keibler’s corner leg move. Look, when you’ve got legs like that, don’t waste them but remember, I know Stacy Keibler and Summer Rae, you’re no Stacy Keibler. Hot nonetheless.
- Adam Rose w/ Kathy Lee and Hoda (18) – Shocker of the night wasn’t The Rock’s special appearance but there was a segment that was worse than the Total Divas match. I’m surprised; 1) That these two dried up broads were able to stay awake after the copious amounts of liquor they consume each morning morning. I figure they’re out for the 10 count by 4:30 pm. 2) Clearly neither KL nor Hoda wanted to be there so why didn’t they forklift a gigantic box of wine for them to ride in on? This was so bad that they were getting X-Pac heat. I’ve scene train wrecks in wrestling before but KL and Hoda dancing around and cracking fake bottles over each other was one of the worse. What And of course KL had to drag it out so that it became all about her. In what world did Vince think that the audience of the fourth-hour of the Today show and the RAW viewing audience intersect? What a waste of time and presumably wine.
Honorable Mentions
Edge and Christian – I never liked the Rated R superstar and as a tag team they always seem to beat the wrestlers I was rooting for but I do recognize they were a great tag team and were apart of some of the most awesome TLC matches. It was fun to see these two back together being goofy fans. (I still don’t like the Rated-R superstar gimmick)
The Rock – IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING… What a welcome surprise. “Holly shit!” “This is awesome!” The Rock knows how to work a crowd. It makes you miss the attitude era with SCSA, The Rock and Mankind (along with HBK, HHH and others). The Rock was working the crowd like Gustavo Dudamel at the Los Angeles Philharmonic. I’ll be using, “Chewback’s harry bean bag” on someone, I can guarantee you that. Like a great band, he knows to come out and play the hits. Fantastic segment.
Bruno Sammartino – 79th Birthday. I knew when Pardon The Interruption announced Monday was his birthday, we were going to see something about this on RAW. Especially since they were in NYC.
Side Note(s)
The announce crew finally lost me. After months of complaining, they finally sent me over the edge. During the 6-man tag, they over-and-over again referenced something about dinosaurs and other stupid shit. It’s not often my girlfriend will watch the whole show with me and when SHE constantly complained about the announcers, I knew it had gotten bad and it wasn’t just me being a cranky old mark. Dear HHH, this is not good for business! The King trying to fumble his way through a rap, Usos into Wierdos… I can’t even go on without wanting to inject my dick with liquid cocaine like John Thackeray from The Knick, just to get through their drivel. (Another tip from The BEAR, you should be watching The Knick. It’s fucking awesome! Again, you’re welcome.)
Loved the fan who brought the Eric The Actor (aka Eric The Midget) poster of him flying with balloons. RIP, ETA.
Until next time…
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