Coming at you from Tulsa, and let’s be real, RAW wasn’t that great. What was great? The CM Punk and Mr. McMahon interviews! I’ll never bullshit you or waste your time. You can take about 95% of what I said last week and apply it to this week. Other than the return of the Anonymous GM, everything was the same. Aside from a missing Mark Henry, the last three segments of RAW ran back the main event match at Survivor Series.
Check out our special edition of the BEARcast - WrestleCast (www.worldofbear.com and subscribe on iTunes) for full coverage and breakdown of both interviews.
The hardest part about this “Cyber Monday” was that I could have ranked only 10 slots or gone up to 30 if I wanted to break the Tag Turmoil and main event apart.
I had to edit out a lot of Fred and my RAW recap to fit in more time for the Punk / McMahon interview coverage. The only bit that needs to be addressed is that it is a tad ridiculous that the TLC PPV is being broken down to a T, a L and a C match prior to the big TLC match between Ambrose and Wyatt. Also I believe there’s a “steel STAIRS” match between Big Show and Rowan. Do I need to go further? Steal f’n Stairs?! Luckily Ambrose and Wyatt in a TLC match is enough to get me to watch. Also, luckily TLC is only two weeks away so we don’t have to sit through many more odd promos by two guys who should be working together, not against each other. But I’ll save that for our TLC preview.
So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 12/01/2014...
- Bray Wyatt (7) – Bray wrestled and is setting up, what I assume is, the main event at TLC. In a night of mishmash tags, Bray wrestled.
- Dean Ambrose (6) – Okay, maybe he didn’t wrestle but are you going to be the grinch that is against Ambrose / Wyatt in a TLC match?
- The New Day (HM) – Yes I know they made an appearance on Smackdown but who watches that? Their debut didn’t blow me away but also didn’t fall flat on its face like Los Matadors. Not only did they look like three black Jews ready for their Bar Mitzvahs but Big E is already laying the groundwork for hiding various items down his bra, I mean chest. A chest that is secured with a supportive fabric that helps keep his breast muscles and fatty deposits that lay on top of the breast muscles in place. If you want to call that a bra, that’s up to you. I’m not here to judge nor make enemies of someone who could snap me like a twig.
- Miz and Miz-dow (4) – I can’t believe I had enough control to leave them at number 4. By the way, they’re dropping the titles at TLC and will start feuding ASAP. That’s my first guess because the WWE is too impatient and will have them fighting by the Royal Rumble. Then their feud will linger all the way to WrestleMania by then I’ll be begging someone to put this gimmick out of its misery. Until then, I’m loving. Can I get more manic? Probably.
- The Usos (N/A) – I’ve been saying forever that they need a heel or evil side to them. The Jimmy (or Jay, who the fuck can tell the difference) fight with Miz and Naomi is a bit lame considering we all know their personal lives thanks to Total Divas. And even though Miz is lucky enough to be banging Maryse, as the old saying goes, “No matter how hot the girl is, there’s some guy out there that is tired of fucking her.”
- The Dust Bros. (N/A) – The gold standard of tag teams at the moment. I’m waiting for your arguments…
- Dolph Ziggler (3) – Some people can look at his feud with Harper as a step back but I think it gives the WWE time to make sure that he’s deserving of the big push he’s getting and helps solidify Harper at a solid IC level player. Ziggler can still lose at TLC in an IC title rematch and still be favored going into Royal Rumble.
- John Cena (10) – Damn you WWE for making me almost cheer for Cena. I give him credit for doing his best to put over the likes of Ryback or maybe he just felt sorry for Ryback after CM Punk obliterated him personally and professionally on his tell-all podcast this past week.
- Seth Rollins w/ Minions (8) – Like it or not, he’s our top heel and soon he’ll be going against Randy Orton. JBL said that Rollins with Mercury and Noble are Shield 2.0??? I’m done…
- Luke Harper (5) – The new IC champ. The more talented of the Wyatt disciples. I’m looking forward to a good ole fashion ladder match between him and Ziggler. It should be great.
- Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (20) – In what must be the oddest tag team, I feel bad for Cesaro. He kinda got killed during the post show interview between McMahon and SCSA. On the bright side, everyone expects great things from him. I blame WWE Creative is Cesaro isn’t a top tier guy by this time next year. He’s got all the tools.
- AJ Lee w/ ? (16) – And the lucky winner is… Naomi. And here I thought this was the first “true” fan vote on the WWE app. Shows you what I know. *cough *cough BULLSHIT *cough
- The Bellas (17) – Did I just rank them at twelve? I’ve got to stop this late night drinking.
- Erick Rowan vs The Big Show (14&11) – ZZZZZZZZ. Thanksgiving dinner had less sleep inducing drugs. BTW, when did Rowan add that “k” to the end of Erick? Who does that? And we’re supposed to be okay with his international new theme song (which sucks reindeer balls) and that he’s been a hidden genius savant behind that lamb mask? I should hate all of this but I’m curious and the Wyatt Family brand name has bought enough good will. Lastly, “Big Red?” I see Kane, the original Big Red Machine, coming out to set him on fire. It’s almost as bad as the “The Big Guy” as far as nicknames go. While I’m at it, is there anyone slower to the ring than Big Show? I orgasm faster than it takes for Big Show to get to the ring, and I see sex as a race. First to finish wins.
- R-Truth (N/A) – If you’re going to job, job to the best / top guys. Nice to see you back on TV.
- Rusev w/ Lana (12) – I’ve been a champion for Back in White for Lana each week but I’ll be fine with Back in Black as long as it’s a race between her skirt slip and jacket plunge towards her belly button. For god’s sake, do yourself a favor and google Lana’s nude pics. Smoke show, as the kids would say.
- Jack Swagger w/ Zeb (13) – Poor Zeb got Nancy Kerrigan’d by someone. Who? Why? How? Do you care? It’s more amazing that we’re running back Swagger as the US savior. The WWE clearly doesn’t know how to stop the Rusev beast they’ve created. Two words: Kurt. Angle. I won’t get into rumors but it’s too bad Angle and HHH couldn’t get on the same page.
- Un Matador w/ El Dorito (N/A) – Please give up this horribly executed Matador gimmick. Take the bull behind the barn and shoot him. The performers are actually talented but they’re being wasted on bullshit. Literally bull-shit.
- Adam Rose and The Bunny (20) – I’m only slightly curious about who this Bunny is and would like to see a heel version of Rose.
- Fandango 2.0 w/ Rosa (19) – Rosa, you have one job to do (other than possibly to give Mr. McMahon hand jobs whenever / wherever he so chooses) and that is to show off ‘dem great big boobs of yours. It doesn’t have to be Sable-Attitude-Era nudity but something more revealing that the window drapes that you had sacked over your body. The only boob I saw was the one dressed in all black that calls himself Fandango 2.0 (see what I did there? Bet’cha didn’t see that coming.) I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOUBLING DOWN ON THIS DANCING GIMMICK?! Ok, take a step back… I’ve been misled before. Maybe this is going to be great. But it doesn’t help that I just watched an interview with the head of the company, Mr. McMahon, who has final say over everything and he said he didn’t know what to do with the likes of Cesaro. Cesaro! If they don’t know what to do with one of the more gifted and ready-to-push performers, what am I to think of Fandango 2.0?
Honorable Mentions
Paul Heyman – He’s back via satellite but there’s still something missing. If you can fly Mr. McMahon to Tulsa, Heyman can get his out there as well.
Slammy Awards – Seth Green hosts next week’s Slammy awards which are back. Let “awards season” begin. Next up…The Academy Awards. What, they’re not on the same level? How dare you not give MIZ and MIZdow the credit they deserve. MIZ is a multi-feature movie star.
Saint Mic and Noelle Foley – Congrats on Mrs. Foley’s little boy’s little girl on her official WWE debut.
Side Note(s)
CM Punk interview, see BEARcast at www.worldofbear.com
Mr. McMahon interview with Stone Cold Steve Austin, see BEARcast www.worldofbear.com
Until next time…
WK
@wkbear
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment