WWE Power Rankings, RAW 10-28-2013

Coming at you from Orlando, coming off of a so-so Hell in the Cell PPV Wrestlemania season has started.  While the “road to WM” starts at Royal Rumble, tonight’s RAW is generally the beginning to all the story lines that will lead up to conclusion at Wrestlemania.  

Quickly, regarding Hell in the Cell…The PPV was OK.  My “crew” got together but since it wasn’t a major PPV we didn’t have all hands on deck, which was appropriate for the type of show it turned out to be.  A long forgotten member of our “crew” (gotta think of a better name) made a return, which was far more interesting and exciting that half the matches on the actual PPV.  I believe at one point we fast forwarded through about 45 minutes and almost everyone needed coffee to get home.  The opener was a fast and hard tag match which predictably saw the Rhodes Family keep the title.  That might have been the match of the night.  The two Hell in the Cell matches were a let down overall.  While CM Punk vs Heyman brought conclusion (I hope) to their feud, the match was weak and mostly consisted of Punk vs Ryback and then once that was finished, an innocuous beating of Heyman on the top of the Cell structure ended the match.  The other HitC match that took place between RKO / Bryan / HHH / HBK was fairly predictable in it’s twists and turns.  Performance-wise it was a good match.  As discussed in previous posts, a blind man would have seen HBK’s interference coming.  It was just a matter of which way he was going to swing the match.  As you’ll see below HBK ended up “doing what’s best for business” and falling in step with HHH & Stephanie’s wishes.  The only semi surprise, again if you’ve been reading, was that Cena cleanly won the World strap from ADR.  It wasn’t so surprising that he might have won as much as how he won cleanly and then left as the champ.  I was certain that if he had won, something like Sandow cashing in his MitB shot or something or someone would have made it a controversial win.  Overall, if you want a score, I’d give it a 2 out of 5 stars overall but the first and last matches were very good.  There were some glaring omissions in lieu of substandard performers who made it on the card.  As we’ll get into, the likes of Kofi and Ziggler weren’t on the card but Khali / Hornswaggle (sans Santino.  I repeat sans SANTINO!), Los Matadores, El Torito and the All American crew all had major time on the PPV.  

With Hell in the Cell over and the chessboard set, the next PPV is a big one.  Survivor Series is in a few weeks and while I was disappointed in the results and who was on the HitC Card, we could be set up for a great Survivor Series (which hasn’t been said in a long time) where we could actually have some true Survivor Series matches.  Usually you can expect a solid show coming off of a PPV, so with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 10/28/2013…

1. The Shield (1&2) – Old. School. Promo.  You don’t need to reinvent the wheel each week.  Wrestling has been around for decades and a staple is the solo / group shoot to the camera backstage.  You see these mostly on smaller shows (like TNA or independents) because they’re cheap and easy to make.  But to do a good one, that’s old school and it’s still awesome.  It’s the classic way that wrestlers could set up a match that hasn’t had months of airtime to prep an audience or in the “territory days” it would be an easy way to tell anyone new to the program what the backstory to the match was.  The Shield did a great backstage shoot and then immediately went on to a match between Ambrose vs Big E.  Predictably the match went outside the ring where the rest of The Shield was was there to pound Big E.  Did Ambrose get disqualified, sure.  Did the Usos come out to help Big E and take on the Rollins and Reigns, you know they did.  Did Brad Maddox come out and give the crowd what they wanted, a 6-man tag?  Fuck Yeah!  Was it awesome?  They’re not #1 on the Power Rankings for ‘nothing.
2. Damien Sandow (N/A) – Talk about someone being back.  Sandow is back on RAW.  He’s a worthy heel for a returning Cena.  This arc will probably take place on Smackdown more than RAW but it’s exciting nonetheless.  Sandow has played the “intelligent” wrestler card better than almost anyone and he’s been vastly underused.  I was getting tired of trying to figure out the ways he (and his MitB case) was going to get to the championship but now we’ve seen him hop-skip-and-jump right over to the main event.  For an opening match on RAW, Cena and Sandow put on a fabulous match.  Sandow lost his MitB title shot but somehow I hope and expect him to be very much in the mix for the World belt.  When you get a “this is awesome” chant by the crowd, you’re almost assured to get more TV time.  I’m sure Sandow will utilize all his intelligence (and the WWE’s creative staff) to find some fine print to allow him to keep his MitB chance.  Just a guess. 
3. John Cena (N/A) – Love him or hate him, he does make the crowd pop.  Yes, he’s back.  For some reason he felt compelled to explain the purpose of doctors and the chemistry of making ice.  There was an awkward moment about how JBL was the inspiration for Cena’s quick comeback because of disparaging remarks that JBL had been making.  Frankly I couldn’t remember this being an issue and if it was, JBL was just doing the commentary that the show’s writers gave him.  Cena does know that this is all scripted, right?  At least we got an explanation for the reason that Cena won the World belt and the direction his character will be going.  I gather he’ll be more of a presence on Smackdown and thus necessitated winning the championship.  It didn’t make much sense but clearly Cena was pumped up to be back in front of a live crowd and on the mic.  I’ll let him off easy this week because when you’re on the top of the mountain and the actual “face of the company” it must be intoxicating to come out each week.  He’s back and you can see the love he has for the business, sooooo…whatever, let him have his fun.  If it were up to me, I’d probably use Cena differently but if he’s going to bring life to and shake up the 2nd tier of wrestlers that I keep harping need a push / direction (i.e. Kofi, Ziggler, *Sandow*, ADR, Mark Henry, Sheamus, Miz, Cesaro, etc.) I’m all for it.  With Cena being so polarizing, he can take on heels or faces.  My only concern is how long Cena (or the WWE brass) will allow him to toil in the minors when they ultimately want him going for the WWE championship, which I’d assume would be by Wrestlemania?  That’s a long time off so we just have to watch.  Along with rehabbing his elbow, Cena must have also worked on his match skills.  As much as it pains me, he and Sandow put on a great match.  Cena’s not a horrible wrestler like Hulk Hogan is / was, it’s just that he’s not on the list of guys you know will put on a good match.  If he gets in the ring with Sandow or Kofi or Ziggler, he’s more than capable of working with them to put on a good show.
4. The Usos (7) – These guys are the break out surprise of the past year.  They’re part of the Samoan lineage and have prominent roles on Total Divas, so it would have been easy to say they were going to get an underserved push.  To their credit, the Usos have been awesome every time they get a chance.  I can’t think of once in the last few months where they’ve disappointed.  Better than that, they’re participation in any match has usually been the highlight.   
5. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (8) – I’m convinced of two things, the Rhodes are going to have some great tag matches and then they’re going to breakup and feud at WM30.  How, when and why is all up to the WWE but that’s how I see the next six months going for these guys.  All of which is fine because Goldust and Cody (and Dusty) have been awesome. 
6. Big E Langston (15) – I know, I was just as surprised to see Big E this high when putting everyone in order, as you are to seeing him this high on the list.  One of the few mid-card matches on the PPV that was worth mentioning, Big E / Ambrose was a quality match with resulted in both men needing stitches (and not on purpose).  While it started out to be a rematch of last night’s PPV match, things escalated quickly.  When he was included in the 6-man tag, he lost some of his individual shine but that’s fine.  Big E has made a splash and he’s hot like Christopher Wallace in the 90’s. (I can’t tell if 1) anyone will get that or 2) if it was lame or not?  I’ll cross my fingers and let my dear readers let me know.)
7. Shawn HBK Michaels (5) – This is the big question.  Not only did Bryan want answers but We did as well regarding what HBK is up to?  There are many things that can be said about HBK and his antics in and out of the ring over the years, in front of the camera and behind the scenes.  There’s no debate that he’s on the short list of “GOAT”.  Where he’s sometimes lacked has been his shoots & promos, but not tonight.  He was great and he was able to deadpan the script while working the audience into a fevered pitch.  Now he has two generations of fans screaming, “You Screwed Brett” and now “You Screwed Bryan.”  So what does this mean?  Do we get one last run from HBK so that he can get an HOF final match like Flair?  Tradition tells us that when a wrestler finally retires, he gives a worthy opponent of the next generation the win.  Is Daniel Bryan that guy?  Will we get one more run from HBK?  Not many answers were given but if we’re headed for something at WM30, this is a great start.  Or HBK could be back on his ranch shooting deer instead of promos within a week?  This is why I love wrestling.   
8. HHH and Stephanie (4) – Between HHH’s rant / presentation of RKO and Stephanie’s procurement of a “the monster Kane” (a valuable tool for sure), it was a productive night for the power duo.  It wasn’t their best night or most impactful but we do see the tracks begin laid.  I’m was a little surprised because I heard that Vince McMahon was going to make an appearance and that he would be the reason The Big Show has been able to get into the areas and cause all the trouble he has, having been fired and banned in all. But alas, he didn’t make an appearance.  The idea for Vince to run up against HHH and Stephanie is appealing but if it doesn’t happen I’m not going to be depressed.  They’ve got a lot going on and whose to say Vince doesn’t show up next week?  HBK, HHH, Stephanie, Bryan and RKO are all lumped together because of plot and relative lack of use this week but that doesn’t diminish their future rolls.  It also goes to show, HHH and Stephanie are just as committed to the rest of the crew because they could have very easily taken up most of the show with this main plot line.  instead they went out, sprinkled their plot throughout the show and let some of the other stories find their footing.  Now whether or not I care about Los Matadores solidifying their story or not is a different debate all together.  
9. Randy Orton (3) – After Hell in the Cell, RKO is officially the WWE champ and “face of the WWE.”  No matter how he came to be the Champ, he sure does carry himself as the prick you’d expect him to be as the pre-ordained “face of the WWE” that HHH and Stephanie had picked.  Aside from a few tweaks that gave him some charm while being a prick a number of years ago, this is the best that RKO has ever been.  It’s too bad we wasted so much time with Diva matches and Real Americans because there wasn’t much for RKO to do than to say a few incendiary words to the rest of the roster and then get knocked out by The Big Show.  Again, I have to point out this is just the beginning of what looks to be a long run.  Patience is virtue.
10. The Big Show (14) – He’s the least likable part of the main storyline but as I’ve said, he’s best served in small doses.  His lawsuit storyline is weak but maybe it makes room for Vince to enter?  Who knows.  As long as it’s not The Big Show hour, I’m fine with letting this breath to see where it goes.
11. Daniel Bryan (6) – Even though one could say he’s the centerpiece of the show (he and RKO comprise the main storyline), he said nothing, perform a few moves on HBK and get beaten up by The Wyatt Family.  All the members of the the main story took a hit today because of the short amount of time they had on screen. 
12. The Wyatt Family (12) – After a poor performance at the PPV, I was ready to give in to everyone telling me that I was wrong about the Wyatts.  Sure, they barely wrestle and may have the record for most go-nowhere shoots.  Bray Wyatt, in particular, has done nothing to deserve any mention but luckily I’ve heard that he has been hurt which is some consolation to their lack of direction.  Just as I was about to drop them to the bottom, they destroyed Bryan backstage.  It made no sense and had nothing to do with any story line that either wrestler is in but Bray kicked the crap out of Bryan.  Then they inexplicably attacked Punk.  Well, OK, now we have something.  Who wouldn’t want to see Punk and Bryan team up against the Wyatts?  I don’t see how this all shakes out but at this point I don’t care.  It lets me justify them staying in the upper-mid tier of the Power Rankings.  I’m sure we’ll soon find out the meaning of “The devil made me do it.”  Unfortunately The Wyatts leave more story lines hanging than chads on a Florida voting ballot (Anyone up for political references from 2000?  RAW is in Orlando, Florida so there is a method to my madness.  It’s no more dumb than when Wyatt lights the lantern just to blow it out, then brings an electric lantern into the arena.).  
13. CM Punk (9) – Really?  Ryback?  Still?  Again?  I thought we were going to move on.  I don’t care what stipulation the fans choose for the match, I just want Punk to be able to move on.  I assumed we got conclusion at HitC but maybe that was just for the Heyman part.  Luckily it seems we’re now done with Punk vs Ryback, finally.  Earlier in the show, the Wyatt Family attacked Daniel Bryan out of nowhere.  Then they did it again with Punk.  With Punk seemingly done with the Heyman & Associates, throwing The Wyatts at Punk is interesting.  I was thinking they’d stay within the tag or bottom feeder ranks to find opponents but a run against Punk and a possible Punk / Bryan team-up could be interesting.  Although Bryan seems to have a direction with HBK, HHH, RKO, etc.  Therefore I wouldn’t count on Bryan being apart of any long term Punk / Wyatt feud.  Really, I don’t see Punk feuding with the Wyatts either but I can always wish.  It’s all going to depend on who this “devil” is that’s directing The Wyatt Family?  This is one of the many resets that we’re getting into.  Remember, this is the first week of storytelling that will conclude six months from now.  Other than a possible few bullet points, nothing is set in stone.
14. Kane (N/A) – I’m sure this is some mental illness of my own, but when I see Kane’s mask not fit properly, for the second night in a row, it drives me insane.  So insane I just want to set fire to my family’s house and kill them all, including my brother who would become the Undertaker… What could Kane possibly say to Stephanie McMahon other than “Thank you for putting me in See No Evil 2 and allowing me to take a three month break from rolling around the ring four nights a week.”  Low and behold, that’s basically what Kane did.  I thought he’d come back in a tie-in with the Wyatts but instead he’s now a servant to the Princess of Wrestling.  Interesting.  Intriguing.  I want to see where this goes. 
15. Alberto Del Rio (8) – Chalk it to the “Maldecir del Cena" but have you seen someone’s wind get taken away from them so quickly?  He was riding high as World champ and had a handful of potentially great feuds in front of him.  Granted, ADR’s gimmick wasn’t the best and the WWE was having a hard time finding the right opponent, short-term plan and path for Sandow to cash in his MitB match but these things could have been fixed while he was still wearing the championship belt.  Hopefully the crowbar-ing of Cena will mix things up and allow ADR to make the proper adjustments to regain the belt and / or find the right feud(s) to lead into WM30.  He’s an excellent wrestler and his heel gimmick is so close to being great.  The evil hispanic feel cheap and too 80’s.  But a modern day Tony Montana could be interesting.  I hope this leads to a short title run by Cena, a few good matches and a better / stronger heel gimmick for ADR to be unleashed on rest of the WWE universe (who better than Cena to push ADR into a darker heel?).  Then I’ll be satisfied with everything that’s gone down with ADR these last few days.  Otherwise, the WWE will have just buried one of their top guys in a matter of days.
16. Brad Maddox (N/A) – OK, Brad.  You’ve been lurking in Honorable Mentions and have had significant roles in recent RAW episodes.  But if you’re going to come out, prolong what was sure to be a great match between Big E vs Ambrose and then make it into a 6-man tag match…well my friend, welcome to the Power Ranking list.  See, it’s not hard to make it on the list.  Just do something to service the fans.  Is anyone going to be upset about a Shield vs Big E / Usos match?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Thank you, sir.
17. The Miz (13) – Let’s give credit where credit is due.  Miz knew he was going out there to job for 60 seconds.  He gave it his all and played it off as if he wasn’t a step above 3MB.  I’m hoping there’s a bigger / better plan for Miz.  I’m a fan.  Unfortunately, right now he’s not going anywhere.  On the up side, he’s banging Maryse, cashing checks and doesn’t have to do MTV’s the Challenge.  You can’t say he’s living a bad life.  
18. The Real Americans w/ Zeb (18) – It’s beyond my comprehension that this crew gets any kind of crowd support.  They’re clearly heels in the tradition of Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff.  What baffles me is that entire arenas will chant their stupid sayings go along with the gimmick.  Their wrestling is fair but nothing great.  I’d rank them at the bottom in comparison to the current tag teams.  For Christ’s sake, they’re in a match against the Champs, Cody and Goldust, when teams like the Primetime Players can only get a minute to sell t-shirts.  What is the goal / purpose of this group?  If they’re going to go full out racist heel, then do it and let some faces beat the crap out of them.  Otherwise they’re just wasting time that other people could be using.
19. 3MB (20) – I’m going to petition to change their name to KCC “Keep Cashing Checks” because that’s all they’re doing.  There has to be some serious soul searching when you go home at night and know that you’ve jobbed to a couple of buffoons dressed up as nipples and a midget bull-man-thing.  I hope WWE takes away their belts and shoelaces before locking them in their rooms as night.  It would not look good if one morning local newspapers had pictures of each member of 3MB swinging from the shower curtain bar or some Motel 6 closet.  I can’t even give them credit for the large fishing net they brought to the ring, although I did crack the smallest of grins when JBL called it a little bull catcher.
20. Los Matadores (N/A) – They were part of the “time to eat and go to bathroom” portion of the PPV last night.  Their handful of solid tag team moves will never win me over to the ridiculousness of this gimmick.  El Torito is god awful.  Can someone explain why their match with 3MB was a 2-on-3 handicap match?  El Torito is possibly the most talented of the Los Matadores group so why is it unacceptable that he fights in a 6-man tag?  It’s discrimination and I want the ACLU to investigate and serve a cease and desist order on the WWE’s use of Los Matadores and El Torito.

Honorable Mentions

komen.org – We conclude cancer awareness month with this week’s RAW.  Is it me or does it seem that we’ve been wearing pink shirts and having pink ropes and pink bows for about three months?  In all seriousness, it’s been a good thing and the WWE should be commended for the amount of time and money they’ve put toward awareness and donations to fighting cancer.

Primetime Players – If they want to be the next “pitchmen” for the WWE, they’re leaps and bounds behind R-Truth.  Besides, the Primetime Players are a very good tag team and we’re heading into a great tag era (fingers crossed).  Just as with R-Truth, this was a good way to hawk some merch and keep them in the forefront of the viewers minds.  

David Otunga AKA Mr. Jennifer Hudson – I forgot he was still part of the WWE lineup.  I’ve always like him.  Maybe it’s his rippling musculature or his Harvard intellect, either way he’s another guy that I give credit to for cashing checks.  There was always a charm to him being the assistant to whomever was the GM.  Now he’s taken on the role of resident attorney.  He read his lines.  The script / “complaint” was funny and shed some light to what will be the direction / actions Big Show will be taking.

AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka / The Bellas – Let’s face it, AJ is the only reason this group is on the list.  We’ve never really been told why Snuka and AJ are together and frankly, I don’t care.  AJ got two seconds of in-ring action to put on her finishing move.  I’m tired of writing about this already and I’ll save my strength for something else…

Divas Match part du – It’s amazing that with about 30 minutes left on the show, the WWE decides to put on a second divas match between Summer Rae and Natalya.  I know they want to promote Total Divas coming back soon but couldn’t this have been included in the first Divas match?  Give it up to Fandango for being the “valet” this time.  Summer had an interesting and unexpected mean streak come out.  Maybe if Summer and ‘Fan come out as the silly duo but can turn on the evil switch, maybe they have some possibilities together long term?  (Did I really just say that?  Jesus, I must be tired or getting sick?)  It gives me hope that everyone knows this is a stupid gimmick, which only then makes it tolerable.  What truly saddens me (and I’ve never hoped for an injury this much before) is that Santino has been replaced by Natalya in the motley crew of Hornswaggle and Khali.  It is dark days for Santino and this Santino fan.  Viva la Italia.  Viva Santino!

Side Note(s)

If you say something can only be seen “exclusively” on the WWE and then show it on the RAW live TV show, then it’s not exclusive!  The WWE app sucks and doesn’t work.  Can we just move on?  Figure out a better use of the app.  Starting with making it work.

Yet again we get another tutorial on how to install the WWE app to our phone.  They’re treating us like you would your grandparents when they got their first smartphone.  Let’s look at it another way, if you’re too stupid not to know how to install a free app on your phone, how in the hell are you supposed to navigate the app once you install it?  Please WWE, stop.  Spend this time and money on making a decent app.  I assure you, we’ll figure out how to use it.  I’ve never seen a demonstration on how to download Angry Birds but every five year old seems to know how to use and play that app.  Besides, how do you think you get all your wrestlers “trending” on twitter if people don’t know how to download an app!?    

Until next week…