“BUT, what if Punk doesn’t show up???” - Willie Kinoshita, my words, which can be heard on the BEARcast podcast recorded sunday night prior to RAW (iTunes and www.worldofbear.com).
Coming at you from Chicago, and my expectations for this show couldn’t be higher. The BEARcast podcast is up and running (shameless plug, be prepared for more) on which Fred “The Oracle” and I talked about the rumors of tonight being the return of CM Punk! If true, because they’re still just rumors until I watch the show, his reappearance (in his hometown) could literally bring down the house AND shuffle the deck of most of the WWE story lines. Punk’s departure after the Royal Rumble forced the WWE to quickly change its plans with almost all the main event matches and, if he’s truly back, it will force them to rearrange them again. One might think that these changes would be bad but in this particular case, change is exactly what the WWE needs. I’m on record last week saying this is the worst WrestleMania card, maybe ever (which is untrue and unfair). It’s crazy to think that one character could affect so many other characters but step back and look at what could happen. Even if the expected storyline of Punk vs HHH is the result of his return, where does that put Daniel Bryan (who was forced into Punk’s slot vs HHH)? With a freed up Bryan does that mean he’s added to the Batista vs RKO feud? Bryan was originally rumored to square off against Sheamus in a WM rematch, but Sheamus seems to be on a collision course with Christian, so does that stay the same? With as much heat as Bryan has, I can’t see him dropping down to fight Sheamus? All the ripple effects are too crazy to get into, besides we don’t even know IF Punk will show up and what role he has to play. This is one of those times where I’ll be happy to sit back and watch.
A similar butterfly affect could be going on with John Cena. Depending on how injured Cena truly is will dictate the fates of Bray Wyatt, The Wyatt Family and The Shield. Also, regardless of Cena’s health, if the WWE really wants to service their audience, a Wyatt / Shield rematch is something no fan is going to complain about. Maybe they string that feud out for a WM30 conclusion and that would leave Cena to be inserted into the Batista / RKO / (possibly) Bryan mix if the WWE is hearing the crickets when it comes to their Championship Main Event?
All of these questions and we haven’t even gotten to the tag teams, IC belt or undercard matches / second tier wrestlers yet. When rumors, confusion and speculation collide, it makes for a perfect storm in the world of the WWE. Let’s not waste anymore time. So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 3/03/2014…
OK, this is why I love wrestling!!! Right out of the box, Living Color! CM PUNK’s entrance music!!! The WWE knows, if they tried to string this out until some at-the-end surprise, every match would be an endless C-M-Punk chant. Brilliant. Sorry, let’s get back to the show…
NO, THIS IS WHY I LOVE WRESTLING!!!!!!!! No CM Punk, instead we get Heyman!?!? Forget about their stupid feud last year, who better than to speak on behalf of CM Punk (real life Paul Heyman guy) and give the WWE the middle finger than Paul “E. Dangerously” Heyman. Again, I’m sorry, back to the show… (FYI, we’re barely 2 min into RAW, not a word spoken and I’m already giving a solo standing ovation in my living room)
- HHH and Stephanie (N/A) – Absent or downgraded on these Power Rankings for the past few months, HHH and Stephanie haven’t had meaningful spot like this, which reminded me why I love them so much, in a long time. I couldn’t tell who had the better promo? Knowing that he was going to get the full force of the Chicago crowd’s anger and energy, HHH was practically glowing at being the King of Kings. The smile he gave before he stepped into the ring was priceless. When I thought that they had said their piece and put Bryan in his place, that’s when Stephanie brought out the big guns. I would like every wrestler and fan in the world, especially those who think that the WWE is just some easily throw together show and any body could do it if they just had a few lucky breaks and a lot of money. To the layman, Stephanie’s shoot was just some Authority business ramblings but to marks, other promoters and to the wrestlers backstage, sitting at home or around the world; every word Stephanie spoke was 100% truth. The WWE is a star making machine. Some ideas work and others don’t but that’s not the machine’s fault. It was a magnificent shoot. By the end, HHH had showed off what we’ve all been suspecting, he’s in fighting shape. How and who he might be fighting may be in flux but it seems the likely candidate is Bryan, no matter how much he says, “It takes more than a B talent to get him to fight again.” The most impressive performance was that HHH was able to keep his lines straight when even through the TV, the crowd was so loud that you could barely hear what was being said into the mic.
- Heyman (10) – Who knows how to play a crowd better? “I believe he deserves better than that.” Said to a Chicago crowd about their hometown hero? You don’t hear hotter crowds. The ultimate proof of his greatness, Heyman (and the WWE creative team) flip the script and pointed the finger at the Chicago attendees. If you thought this was just some sort of simple twist on the audience, than you don’t know Paul Heyman. With a series of carefully crafted sentences, Heyman turns this CM Punk shoot into a shoot to get Brock Lesnar over on ‘Taker! They should be setting up cones and flashing lights around Heyman with a warning, “Brilliance at Work.”
- CM Punk (retired) – This goes against one of my main rules, you must be on the show to be on this list but if anyone is going to break the rules, it’s CM Punk. Besides, Punk might as well have been at the show. The crowd chanted C-M-Punk the entire night. Halfway through the HHH / Stephanie shoot, something hit me! Punk should come out on the side of HHH and take down Bryan in a version of “I’m tired of fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. I stand alone, always have. No one gave me anything. I’m gonna do what’s best for me. I like it at the top and I’m going to do whatever it takes to stay at the top.” With that, he turns on Bryan and stand as the new de facto “Face of the WWE.” Now he takes out Bryan at WM30 and sets himself up to be the biggest heel who is positioned to take on the winner of the Batista or RKO Main Event at WM30. That’s just a bit of fantasy booking. Regardless of what may happen, I’m more sure than ever that CM Punk will be back. Other than Heyman and Cole, at the beginning of the show, no one else said Punk’s name. They referred to him and did everything except say the words CM Punk, but no one actually said it. Not even Cena, who you’d think can do anything he wants. BUT, no one really stopped the crowd from chanting and if they wanted to ignore the Punk issue, they wouldn’t pause to indulge the audience. Of course, the question is always, how would you control the rabid Chicago audience anyway, but there are ways. Look at what the Usos did to temper the CM Punk chants.
- The Shield (5) – It seems, IT SEEMS, that we’re finally headed to the breakup of The Shield. I feel like a broken record at this point. When the match is set for WM30 and I see all three of them in a ring, set to face off and the bell rings; then I’ll know this is when The Shield is breaking up. And if tomorrow, they want to put on another match with The Wyatt Family, I’ve got no problems. Each match has been great. How many times does Rollins need to “steal the match” before he gets proper respect? Rollins flies over the top rope, takes out a Wyatt and lands on his feet, not once but twice and follows it up with a kick in the head to the third Wyatt. It was the most amazing 30 seconds, which even Reigns seemed to be in disbelief watching. Then you’ve got Ambrose who screws everyone up. He’s a Tasmanian devil. While running around, acting like a lunatic and pissing his teammates off, he’s still pulling off awesome technical moves like a ferocious DDT and a better figure-4 than The Miz could ever hope for. The Shield are so good that Reigns pulled off one of his best Superman punches, leaping kicks (partly thanks to a good sell job by Harper) and spears to send Rowan over the announce table but he was still third if you want to rank Shield member performances. It’s embarrassing how much of a mark I am for the Shield. Rollins leaving was handled great and even the Ambrose / Reigns 2-on-3 was solid.
- The Usos (10) – This is classic wrestling storytelling. The up and coming generation wins the tag team belts from the older wrestlers who lay down and pass the torch. I was shocked that the Usos won their first belts cleanly on a random raw. I was willing to bet everything that the Usos were going to win the titles at WM30. Maybe there’s more to this? There is a rematch already scheduled. The other reason for possibly putting the Usos over in Chicago was that the win was able to snap the crowd out of their CM Punk chants (if only temporarily).
- The Wyatt Family (1) – “Follow the Buzzards” In the midst of chaos all around, The Wyatts are the team that stays composed and together to get the win. While they don’t have the overall talent that each member of The Shield has, they’re able to hang and make The Shield look good. If not for The Shield, would we be saying that The Wyatt Family is the best group right now? For the second week in a row, Bray has a great promo. Focused and to the point. I get what he’s setting up with Cena. My two questions are; 1) what’s the severity of Cena’s injury because he and Bray should put on a good match if healthy, and 2) if it’s Cena vs Bray, what are the other two Wyatts going to do? Now that the Usos have the tag belts, go after them? Or does Bray need all the help he can get if he expects to overcome Super Cena at WM30?
- Daniel Bryan (8) – I know I didn’t like the billy goat YES shirt. I’m not sure how I feel about the Che Guevara YES shirt. Not that I’m offended for some political reason. I can’t tell if it’s cool or if it’s too hipster and the coolness swings around to be a hipster’s wardrobe staple? It was cool when you and Zack de la Rocha were the only people wearing it but then when you could pick up half a dozen at Hot Topic and no one wearing the shirt could tell you who the picture was of, that’s when it became uncool. And you know me, I’ve got to be cool. Fortunately wrestling shirts are never not cool. The older and more dated a wrestling shirt is, the more coveted it gets. Therefore, it has been decided. The Che Bryan YES shirt is cool. Now we can move on to more important business. As discussed, Bryan was slipped into the CM Punk vs HHH spot. I can’t say this enough but Daniel Bryan is not the same as CM Punk and the WWE would be wise to keep that in mind. Just check out this sign which has #NoMovement. It might just be one in a sea of thousands of YES shirts, chants and signs but be careful WWE. You’ve got an extremely hot character and gimmick, you don’t want to misuse the character and waste the phenomenon that is Daniel Bryan. Otherwise you’ll start seeing a lot more No Movement signs.
- John Cena (6) – Cena’s either selling the crap out of his knee injury or can really “play with pain!” Just as we did not get any definite answer on CM Punk, I’m still not clear on whether Cena is working us or putting in work? I like the “change will go through me” gimmick. Bray is playing the other side very well. If Cena is not really that injured, I expect an above average match between the two. I only worry if Cena is trying to gut out a performance so he can be a part of the WM push. If hurt, I’d rather see him do these promos and let the Wyatt / Shield rematch happen, then when he’s ready continue his feud with Bray. Again, Monday brought no clarity to the situation. Special shout out for Cena’s promo as well. He really has had a long strange relationship with Chicago. Every time I think about Cena in Chicago it makes me remember one of the greatest matches of the 2010’s decade (which we’re not even halfway through). Big props for him to allude to it and being able to play with the mostly anti-Cena Chicago crowd.
- Brock Lesnar (10) – Yesterday, I gave Lesnar no chance at beating Undertaker at WM30. Now I at least will entertain the thought and give it a 1% chance. Let’s see if they can continue to build Lesnar up. Both Heyman and Lesnar did a solid job of building tension for the match. It’s not easy with two part time wrestlers, no matter the strength and popularity of the characters. The beauty of the Undertaker streak isn’t that he’s 21-0 but over the past few years, the WWE has made me think that the Undertaker might loose. F5-ing Mark Henry through the announce table will make you reevaluate the chances that Brock has. Great spot. I still don’t believe Lesnar will win but… Look at this guy. If anyone is going to make an old wrestler crap his spandex, it’s going to be this guy.
- Randy Orton (7) – Almost an afterthought on RAW. As I get into on the fantastic BEARcast podcast (which can be found on iTunes or directly at www.worldofbear.com), RKO is working his role in the WM30 Main Event perfectly. RKO is not the problem with the match, its Batista and all the surrounding elements that are causing the biggest issues. By just sitting quietly, waiting, for the match and not making any waves, he’s gaining steam to the point that I want RKO to win (not that I didn’t want him to win anyway, but the rest of the fans are starting to shift towards RKO). RKO isn’t screwing up this match. In fact, last week he did everything he could to give Batista the heel torch but Batista screwed that up, not RKO. This picture of him lurking in the shadows is all you need to know.
- Dolph Ziggler (N/A) – My feelings about the Ziggler / ADR match was very much akin to Sofie’s Choice. On one hand, you’ve got one of my favorite wrestlers in Ziggler, who has been buried over the past year, finally getting a nice push by being teamed up with a big time film / TV star (which you know the WWE covets these stars more than anything). On the other hand, it comes at the expense of another wrestler in ADR, who was a top tier Superstar just months ago but is now being used as fodder for a returning Batista and jobbing to other wrestlers who are by far his inferior. Mixed emotions. If it’s true that ADR is going to retire (a rumor I don’t believe) then I’m all in for any push for Ziggler no matter at who’s expense. Ziggler IS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE PERFORMERS TODAY. Feel free to challenge me.
- Cesaro w/ Swagger and Zeb (4) – Cesaro is quickly becoming a breakout star. Even without a solid gimmick, his in-ring skills are outstanding. Cesaro put on one of the greatest matches to start off the NXT PPV on the Network against Sami Zayn. It was one of those matches which you show friends that don’t like wrestling or understand the appeal. They don’t need to know the wrestler’s backgrounds or history with each other, it’s just an awesome wrestling match. I encourage everyone to check it out on the Network. He’s certainly worthy of the push he’s getting. I’d love to see a Cesaro / Big E feud. Unfortunately, instead of more Cesaro / Big E matches, we’ll probably have to suffer through a Real American feud.
- Big E (N/A) – When running down the WM30 card, I completely forgot about Big E. He’s the IC champ and has been putting on some quality matches. It doesn’t matter if he defends the belt against Cesaro or one of the many other second tier wrestlers (Ziggler, Kofi, Sandow, etc.) I’ll be happy. On RAW, Big E was used mainly as a set piece for the Real American feud. I hope they figure out his opponent and let them build a nice feud leading up to WM30.
- Mark Henry (N/A) – If this was any other time, I’d feel bad for Henry having to come out and job to someone. This wasn’t a cheap job, this was jobbing for a purpose. A great piece of booking from the WWE to put over Lesnar. It was so well planned that this will have no affect on Henry’s long term future. Why would Henry complain? His character isn’t getting buried or destroyed by a multitude of opponents, just Brock. It keeps giving Henry a break.
- The New Age Outlaws (10) – It’s nice to see veteran heels from the last generation set up and put over the young faces of the next generation. Keep in mind, both the NAO are backstage bookers / managers that were doing what’s best for the company. They don’t have to fear that without the belts they’ll have to be two old men running the indy-circuit. The WM30 jerseys definitely had me believe the feud with the Usos was going to continue until ‘Mania. Who knows, it still might?
- Batista (12) – If anyone else but Batista put on that shoot interview, it would have been amazing. NOT for the guy who’s playing a fucking superhero in a Marvel movie in three months! Now maybe I’m getting worked but I’ll base my opinion off history. History shows Batista has NO personality. Just like Bryan isn’t Punk, Batista isn’t Cena who can play both sides of the crowd and embrace the cheers with the boos.
- SAN-TIN-OOOOO / Emma vs Fandango / Summer Rae (HM) – Now that I’ve got the WWE Network and can check out this Emma chick, it seems we may have something. The gimmick is goofy but it’s supposed to be. The fact is, she can wrestle. I’m always willing to see new talented wrestlers come up. Unfortunately for Santino, this isn’t the first time he’s been told to go out and make a fool of himself for the betterment of a Diva’s career. But you know what, look who’s still in the WWE and who’s doing soft-core porn? Speaking of which, if there's ever a Santino / Emma leaked sex tape, I must see it. It’s bound to be the most awkward porn I’ll have ever seen, aside from that summer that I was really into “blind porn” (no joke, everyone must check out pornfortheblind.org).
- Alberto Del Rio (11) – How the mighty have fallen. Things couldn’t get worse for ADR. He’s become a high priced jobber. They took his announcer away. They took his title away. And now, they even took his silly car gimmick away! What’s next, Batista is going to start wearing a white silk / satin scarf? Blasphemy. I’m sorry Del Rio. I’m sorry.
- Sheamus vs Christian (13/14) –Sheamus got the win. Christian got the loss. I fell asleep. Wake me up when we get to Christian’s “last match” or whenever this feud is finished.
- Bella Twins vs Alicia Fox and Aksana (N/A) – maybe it’s the outfit but D-cup-Bella looks like she’s um … more endowed in the chest-al region? Sad that that’s the only thing I take away from the match. I hate to come off as a hater, so one positive take away is that Alicia Fox is a human spring. Whenever she’s hit or thrown, she’s tumbling and bouncing around like crazy. You can disparage some of the Diva wrestling but Alicia sells those bumps.
Honorable Mentions
The Chicago Crowd – If you ever need an example of a hot crowd, Chicago was it. There was extra motivation due to the Punk rumors but even without Punk, the crowd was great. There was an awesome “We want Ziggler” chant during the Santino / Fandango match, their YES YES YES chants were on point, Boo-tista came in loud and clear and they even had a well timed “asshole” chant. I’ve got to give kudos to the Windy City for a great night.
Aaron Paul – Look, we all love Jesse Pinkman. He’ll always have a special, strung-out place in our hearts but who’s lining up to buy stock in Aaron Paul the movie superstar? I’m not a “car guy” and I was never much of a Need for Speed video game player so clearly I’m not hitting the demographic that this movie is aimed for. Aaron Paul seems to be the last member of the Breaking Bad cast that’s smoking up every last crumb of blue meth he can find. Again, who can blame him? If you’re the second lead to The Best TV show in history (at least top 3), wound’t that be on your business card for life. I still tell people I was the captain of my high school basketball team, and we sucked, but captain none-the-less.
Paul Bearer – Posthumously and long deservedly is going to be in the Hall of Fame this year. Part of me hopes a family member or Mick Foley will induct him because sometimes you just don’t want your favorite on screen characters to break but I can make an exception if the Undertaker wants to drop the dead man bit and have Mark Calaway give the induction speech. I want to hear Mark Calaway give his first hand take on how there would be no Undertaker without Paul Bearer. Other than Bobby the Brain, he’s the most memorable manager from my youth and probably caused me to have the most nightmares.
Alexander Rusev w/ Lana – At least he’s getting closer to the ring each RAW. One day he might make it all the way to the ring for a match.
Korporate Kane / ADR – Alls I can do is put my head in my hands and shake vigorously. I feel bad for both characters because they’re being marginalized so badly and both have so much more potential, especially ADR.
Side Note(s)
Pulling a “Jack Swagger” – The King made an inadvertent reference to Swagger running in and DQ-ing the match for his tag team partner as pulling a “Jack Swagger.” That’s a great name for it. It rolls off the tongue and I’m going to use it now. “Ambrose just Jack-Swagger’d Reigns.” or “I foresee the Rhodes brothers breaking up after one of them Jack-Swagger’s the other.” Maybe it needs some fine tuning but it’s no worse than a “Dusty Finish” or the litany of wrestling terms named after people.
The commercials for the Titan Fall video game looks so awesome, but as my girlfriend points out, I’m too old. The graphics look awesome. You can run around jumping from building to building. You can hop inside Mechs and take out players or other Mechs! Everything you’d want. Or as my girlfriend said, “You’re going to last two-seconds before some little kid kills you and talks shit to you. All you’re going to do is get depressed.” The sad part is that she’s right. I’m too old. I can’t play these online multi-player games. I suck and am too slow. By the time I figure out where I am, some kid is going to sniper my head off. If I do get lucky enough to make it into one of the big mechs, I’ll be so lost trying to figure out how to control the metal beast that, again, I’ll get blown up by some 10 year old with nothing to do but play Titan Fall all day long. Getting old sucks. When did I become the old lady tacking up pictures on her living room wall thinking that’s how Facebook works in the E-surance commercial (“that’s not how any of this works,” is tied with the 60 second version of the crazy mom song in the Old Spice commercial).
Check out The BEARcast on iTunes or check out worldofbear.com
Until next week…
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