Coming at you from Green Bay, the last 24 hours in the WWE has been epic. I was about 1,000 words into what the new WWE Network could mean to wrestling fans and the future of television when I realized that I’ve got last night’s Elimination Chamber, tonight’s RAW and next month’s WM30 to talk about. So I’ve scrapped all the financial and multimedia talk for another day. There’s too much great (and not-so-great) wrestling to cover. Let’s not waste any time.
Last night’s Elimination Chamber was an odd bag and hard to rate. I loved it and hated it. Everything went as planned but due to the execution I didn’t wasn’t totally disappointed. There wasn’t one thing from EC that varied from expectations. Not one title changed hands and every match went exactly how I thought it was going to go. As predicted, the match of the night was The Shield vs The Wyatt Family. It ended exactly as I thought. The Wyatts won but the match was a great 4 out of 5 star match. ONLY 4 stars, you ask? That’s because I wanted more. The match ended with a clean finish and was everything I’d hoped it would be but it could have gone on for another 3 to 5 minutes with a few more close 1-2-OOHHHHHs. Think of the Undertaker / HBK matches except the Undertaker winning on the first tombstone piledriver. A great match, better than 90% of what we usually see, but it could have been squeezed for that extra little bit juice. It set itself up for a perfect Shield / Wyatt part 2 but as we’ll see that doesn’t look likely to happen, unfortunately. When the match ended, three things hit me; 1) I wanted more, 2) this should have been the main event, and 3) Rollins was the clear MVP of the match. After the first few minutes, I literally stopped taking notes and just enjoyed the match. The chants from alternating fans of “Let’s go Shield” vs “Let’s go Wyatts” was amazing. Each wrestler seemed to bring out the best in the next guy (Rowan and Harper had their best matches). We even got a old fashioned Spanish Announce Table demolishing. What more could you ask for, other than another match?
Everything went as predicted, as with the case of the Elimination Chamber match itself. Almost to who started the match and in which order did everyone come out. My friend Dustin came up with the perfect analogy. “The Elimination Chamber is exactly like the Royal Rumble with all the good parts taken out.” Instead of 30 guys it’s only 6. Instead of not knowing who each contestant is (which is half the fun) you know who they are weeks in advance, no surprise entries. Instead of when the clock hits 00:00 whomever comes running down brings new life to the match, each of the four next participants are just standing around in a phone booth waiting to be unlocked (which the light flashes around like an old Simon Says game - this was pre-video game shit). If you ever DO get to see all six contestants in the ring at once (which never happens) it feels clogged by being in the weird cage / floor / booth setup, while you can have 10 wrestlers in a rumble match and it still doesn’t feel too squished in. Cesaro had the best energy and continued his dominance but fell short, but take note to how the crowd was behind Cesaro. When it was Cesaro / Sheamus / Bryan, Sheamus seemed a step slow and dragged the match down. The Sheamus / Christian feud we could see coming from a mile away. When the Wyatts came out to interfere with Cena, it was welcomed with a “Thank you Wyatt” chant. Kane interfered with Bryan, at which point I texted Fred “The Oracle”, what’s the point of having a cage in this match? In the end, RKO won.
Even when the Usos lost to the New Age Outlaws, they had a post interview that was just like, ‘yeah it sucks but we’ll win it at WM30 which is going to be way better, no biggie.’ That’s not to say they didn’t have a good match because it was. It just was predicable.
Now that EC is done, and with no surprises, our roadmap to WM30 is pretty much locked down, Usos vs NAO / ‘Taker vs Lesnar / Bryan vs HHH / Batista vs RKO / Cena vs Wyatts / probably 3-way with the Shield / Sheamus vs Christian…what non of this excites you? Yeah, me neither but it’s what we’ve got.
What is exciting is the WWE Network! I spent most of Monday playing around on it and it is great, so far. The pre and post RAW shows were fun. It’s interesting how the commentators are in the “WWE” world doing analysis and not factoring in that this is a scripted show. It’s really fascinating to watch. So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 2/24/2014…
SPECIAL NOTE:
Due to the fact this show was so packed with the return of Hogan, Lesnar and Undertaker, along with the launch of the WWE Network, there wasn’t enough time to devote to the smaller characters. For this week only, I’m cutting the Power Rankings off at 15. I can already hear the tears of disappointment cascading down. You’ll see some of the other wrestlers and performers that had an impact but weren’t deserving to be a part of the main countdown in the Honorable Mentions. We must have standards! Usos / NAO barely made it onto the list but they’re champs and the soon to be champs. The Emma / Santino / Summer Rae / Fandango contingent are examples of people who get to be in HM this week.
- Bray and The Wyatt Family (1) – Bray delivered his most coherent shoot towards Cena. The crowd was hyped. The Wyatts had interfered with two Cena matches and even cost him a championship title shot at WM30 (no one costs Super Cena a championship match, especially at WM, and survives). Suddenly everything turned on a dime. It looks like Cena really injured his knee which depending on what the doctors say, could put him on the shelf for a while. The only silver lining is that after the fantastic Shield / Wyatt match at EC, no one would complain to see it again. Sometimes when one side of a feud goes down, it takes down both sides because the healthy wrestler has a hard time finding a new superstar(s) to jump into a feud with. Luckily, it seemed that The Shield was headed toward a feud between the three of them which can be put on hold and allow for Shield / Wyatts part 2 (3, 4, 5, etc… is fine with me). Besides, The Wyatts were in danger of being over-booked by feuding with Cena and still having not totally resolved their squabble with The Shield. Sometimes if you spread a popular character(s) across too many story lines, it can backfire and cause none of the feuds to reach their potential and the crowd can get burnt out.
- The Undertaker (N/A) – The Deadman will rise in the spring… Just like Puxatony Phil, the Undertaker pokes his head out in February to see who he’s going to fight in spring at the Grandaddy of them All, WrestleMania. If you look at the current landscape of the WWE, there really isn’t any worthy challenger that would make better sense than Lesnar. Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar is something that the WWE can put at the top of the WM30 card and get the casual wrestling fan to order the PPV. While us marks could think of a few different options, nothing is as striking to the general public than this matchup. And to my fellow marks, don’t be down on this match. It may seem like just an old man fighting an MMA guy but you’re truly a fan, you know both can put on a great match. Given the last few ‘Taker matches have been awesome and Brock has been fully engaged, even against the likes of Big Show, this should be a great match. This might be too high of a rank for a normal return but this is the UNDERTAKER. We wait all year for this. Respect.
- Big E (9) – I liken Big E to a young Scott Steiner. Not the skinny “high-flyer” of the Steiner brothers but not Big Poppa Pump either, somewhere right in the middle. I’d even stretch it to Taz 2.0 with more athletic ability. He’s so strong and so quick and just a tad short, which makes him feel undersized compared to the huge strongmen in wrestling. His match with Cesaro was great. A feud between the two, fighting over the IC belt, leading to a conclusion at WM30 would be great.
- Cesaro (3) – You can “win” even when you loose a match, as Cesaro did last Monday when Cena beat him. We’ve discussed how hardly anyone remembers who wins the EC match, and even fewer people remember the loosing participants. I feared that Cesaro’s resent push would have been for nothing with a poor or even workman-like performance on Sunday. Pleasantly, Cesaro did really well at EC and continued to impress, even in defeat. But now that you’ve lost twice what are you going to do? Where are you going to go? Who can you feud with? Luckily the WWE made the great decision to start a feud between Big E (who defeated Cesaro’s Real American teammate Swagger). Cesaro’s got great in-ring talent and a feud with Big E should be awesome. This was evident by the match we got on RAW. I would be extremely happy to see this feud carry into WM30 but Cesaro’s character has to make a choice; 1) double-down on the Real American gimmick or 2) break free of the Zeb and Swagger and cultivate his own persona. I’d go with the former, and the quicker Cesaro and Swagger can get through their mandatory fight in order to break-up can’t happen soon enough. I want to see more of Cesaro and Big E go at it. It goes to show how good Cesaro is that his two biggest move, his finisher the “Neutralizer” and the “Cesaro swing,” are terrible but he still puts on great matches. Fingers crossed that Cesaro finds a something that works because the fans are only going to be behind you for so long.
- The Shield (2) – Oddly, The Shield was the one set of characters that I wasn’t sure what their WM30 plans were going to be. Everything was looking like a 3-way match at WM30 but they hadn’t quite established it yet. The WWE was right at the beginning stages, by having Ambrose having some vague excuse for why he didn’t return to the ring after Bray took him into the crowd during their match at EC, which “cost them the match.” That was all before Cena got hurt and left the Wyatts searching for something to do at WM30. I’d never root for a real life injury but if the Cena injury causes The Shield to hold it together for another month so that they can have a rematch with The Wyatt Family, maybe it’s the wrestling gods answering our prayers. Since the Bray vs Reigns match was the last match of the night, it allowed the writers to quickly change Ambrose’s roll from intentional interference which would cost Reigns the match, to Ambrose interfering in order to save Reigns and Rollins from getting beat up, which accidentally caused a DQ. I know it doesn’t seem like a big different but it’s huge if you’re going to keep The Shield together for a little longer.
- John Cena (4) – Everything was going well for Cena. While he wasn’t going to headline WM30, he was able to establish himself as the “Face of the WWE” and that any new talent had to “go through him.” This was looked like it was leading to a fight between Cena and rising superstar Bray Wyatt. Unfortunately it seemed as though he seriously injured his knee. I give him tons of credit for finishing the match and hope he’s not out for too long because although I love to root against him. The WWE is better with him involved (even when he’s “Super Cena”).
- Randy Orton (5) – Even though his appearance was short, he was spectacular on the mic and with his expressions. He’s the last true heel in the WWE and he did everything but beg Batista to grab the heel brass ring. Obviously, there are some backstage that notice the boos Batista is getting and sent RKO out there to flat-out shoot this fact. All Batista had to do was take the bait and lay into the crowd. Tell them “he doesn’t care about their feelings and they can go to hell and he’s winning the title despite them,” BOOM, now you’ve over RKO as the heel which would provide some emotion rather than the current ambivalence. RKO can be like Cena in which he rises to the level of his opponent, except RKO has much more natural in-ring skills. If RKO equal’s Batista’s talent and effort at WM30, we’re in for a long lumbering main event that can’t get finish soon enough. I don’t know anyone who’s excited for the RKO vs Batista Main Event at WM30. The WWE Universe can only pray that CM Punk is pulling the ultimate shoot and will return to get involved with this match. It was interesting that RKO paused to let the CM Punk chant crescendo instead of trying to simply dismiss it from the start and talk over it.
- Daniel Bryan (8) – Clearly being thrown into the void left by CM Punk. Bryan is great and he’s beloved by the crowd but he’s no CM Punk. Just because they’re both undersized, hardworking, overlooked talents doesn’t mean they can play the same role. His personality seemed to flip to this super angry and disrespected employee who’s just now decided enough is enough and wants to get his revenge on HHH who has been keeping him down. This is all fine, but where has it been for the last year that The Authority has been keeping him down? I understand HHH wanting to be in WM30 and there’s no doubt that these two can put on a great match. It just doesn’t make sense that NOW’s the time for angry, pissed off Bryan. It’s so clear that this role was set up for Punk and now Bryan is just filling in. This swap might be even more insulting, to think one Superstar can easily take the place of the other. Now, if he came at HHH saying that, “Look, I know you want to stand in the limelight of WM again and you thought you could set up Punk to help you get there, but I’m not Punk and I won’t be your pawn just so you can get on the WM30 card,” that’s a story. Flip the script on HHH!
- The Usos AND The New Age Outlaws (6/7) – If I could bet on wrestling, the lock of the year would be that the Usos will win the tag straps at WM30. If they weren’t going to win the belts at EC, what better way to win their first championship than at the biggest show of the year. Part of the reason that it’s not driving me, and the rest of the WWE Universe, crazy that they haven’t won the belts yet is because their matches with the NAO have been really solid and their mic work / banter has been getting better and better. The Usos have had the in-ring skills but now you can really see their personalities grow. There are far worse things than having the NAO mentor them. Aside from already being backstage managers / bookers, the NAO most likely had a relationship with the Usos from when they were kids and their father, Rikishi, was fighting Road Dogg and Mr. Ass. This has been a surprisingly good feud and will establish the Usos for whatever they do next. And maybe it’s the NAO great swan song? The reason I squeezed the two together was that their match was so quick (and you know my feelings on clean win by title challengers) that there wasn’t even enough time to dedicate two separate sections. If you blinked, you missed the intro and match, which was all just a lead in for 10 minutes of watching Jerry “The King” Lawler futz around on his iPad showing off the Network.
- Brock Lesnar w/ Heyman (N/A) – Once we saw that all the wrestlers who had a chance to go against ‘Taker were being set up in their own matches, it was clear the rumors of Brock vs ‘Taker were no longer rumors. Even with Heyman trying to sell the gimmick, who else but The Undertaker was going to come out and challenge Brock Lesnar. If he wasn’t going to fight for the championship, the Undertaker match is the next best thing at WM.
- Alberto Del Rio (HM) – ADR finally beat Batista. But let’s not bury the lead, ADR finally won a match! Unfortunately, ADR can’t catch a break because even his victories are lame. After months of loosing and weeks of being destroyed by Batista, ADR finally got a win over Batista but it was only due to simple a simple distraction by RKO. If we’re going to say to Cesaro that not all losses are bad losses, than we’ve got to be fair and tell ADR that not all wins are good wins. ADR has lost his mind. I’m torn because I wish they’d find a good gimmick and feud for ADR to participate in but at least he’s out there on RAW unlike Ziggler, Miz, Kofi, Sandow, Clay, and many other deserving wrestlers. It’s the old adage, “Is it better to job on RAW and loose or is it better to win all your matches on the other shows that no one watches (or win at house shows)?”
- Batista (HM) – Where do we begin? The only people who don’t realize that Batista needs to go heel, like yesterday, is the WWE and Batista. The crowd can’t boo him enough. It was magical to see him exchange punches and ADR got the cheer pop on each hit and Batista got a “boo” pop on each hit. You had to love it. The real train wreck came once RKO interrupted the match and caused Batista to loose. I’ll always give a wrestler credit for doing a shoot / promo at the end of match because it must be exhausting to fight and then get on the mic. Having said that (which is code for, “now I’m going to rip you”), Batista was all over the place. RKO served up the heel turn on a silver platter. Batista tried to pull off the Cena, “I don’t care if they cheer or boo, as long as they’re making noise,” shoot. Needless to say, Batista is no Cena. What came out of Batista’s mouth was some nonsensical ramblings about being real and him booing and / or cheering the fans right back? That’s right, it made no sense. To top it off, Batista sucked in the ring. From the first bump, he was slogging around and fell over like a sack of coffee beans. Batista did had a great accidental line, which he should use ALL THE TIME, which is when he said, “Deal with it!” Be a heel and tell the booing public, “Deal with it!” and just Batista-bomb everyone.
- Christian (13) – My brain tells me that I should be enjoying this Christian / Sheamus feud but my heart just isn’t in it. Both men are giving a good effort. Both pulled off some fairly high risk moves, jumping from the top rope or diving outside the ring onto the floor. I just don’t care.
- Sheamus (12) – Fred “The Oracle” made a great point, Sheamus was the one who lost the most by CM Punk walking out on the WWE. Rumors were that Sheamus was going to get into a feud with Bryan at WM30 to make up for the one minute match they had two years ago at WM. When Punk left and Bryan being pushed into his slot vs HHH, Sheamus is stuck being lumped in with Christian. What was going to be a heel turn and subsequent feud with one of the hottest baby-faces in Bryan, is now just a boring matchup with Christian. Someone will need to tell me what their beef is with each other?
- Korporate “Wife-beater-and-dockers” Kane (11) – The feud with Bryan looks to have run its course. If Bryan has moved on to going after HHH, then Kane is really on there to get in the way. I love the executive gimmick and if he wishes to go back to that and move to the next feud, I’m ok. Stripping down to the wife-beater, slacks and dress shoes should be saved for the LAST OPTION, not week after week in matches. If he’s going to be a full time wrestler, put the mask back on and bring back the monster. The threat that the monster could come back (i.e. the mask in the glass case waiting to be broken “in case of emergency”) is much more dramatic.
Honorable Mentions
Hulk Hogan – Back from a seven year hiatus. Oh, the places he’s been in, TNA and BTLS’s ex-wife. Booyah!! Did think I’d get that in, did ya? Just like Hogan got it in with Bubba’s wife! BOOM, there it is again. Anyway, with two new hips and a nice golden glow, it was nice to see Hogan in full Red & Yellow / All American Hero / Brother gimmick. It’s cheesy, it’s old but it’s what I grew up on. “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…” Really, what the fuck does that mean? Who cares? I love it! I also appreciate that he’s just going to be the “host” of WM30 instead of trying to shoehorn him into a storyline or god forbid a match. Welcome back Mr. Hogan.
Soul Patrol – This week wraps up Black History Month, Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson was a nice conclusion to WWE’s tribute. Luckily February is a short month and they didn’t have to search for any…let’s just say questionable…black characters to recognize. But enough backhanded compliments. The truth is, I’d love to see Soul Patrol now! They were before my time but looking at the old footage, they had the size, speed and skill that would have made them immensely popular. It’s amazing to see how much Rocky Johnson is in his son, The Rock. The Rock is literally Rocky Johnson 2.0 from charisma to looks and to in-ring flair and skill.
Alex Riley – Last seen on the back of a milk carton. The real question is, With all the TV time Riley got before and after RAW, who would you say is doing better; Alex Riley or The Miz? While Miz is struggling to get air time (don’t feel too bad for Miz, he just married Maryse this month), Alex Riley killed it on both shows on monday night.
Diva’s Match (Emma w/ SAN-TIN-OOOOOO vs Summer Rae w/ Fandango) – Another match that was squeezed in due to time constraints. I still have high hopes for Emma. Not because of her dancing or possible love story with Santino (ok, I do want Santino to find love, I’m a sap) but because of the NXT clips we’ve seen of her. She seems to have skill. Yet another good thing about the Network, we’ll get to see more of wrestlers like Emma who may just be the next great female wrestler. Or at worst, the next sexual conquest of Santino.
Alexander Rusev w/ Lana – There is no reason that Rusev isn’t wrestling. He debuted in the ring at Royal Rumble and needs to be in there fighting. What better time than during the hype of the Sochi Olympics? I understand the #BadNewsBarrett gimmick not getting in the ring and pissing people off, but Rusev is no Wade Barrett (boy, does that sound weird).
Side Note(s)
I know the Network is still in it’s first days and things are going to evolve, as everything does, but one of the things the WWE got correct from the start was the presentation of the Pre and Post RAW shows. I’m not talking about content because that’s a different topic. The show emulates pre-game shows for NFL and NBA games, as you’d see on FOX, CBS, ESPN, etc. The question is should they live in the “WWE” world or the real world. Again, a topic for another time. The staging and production of the show is great! If you’ve ever been to a live show, you know the WWE tapes their other shows prior to RAW and Smackdown. It was great to watch the commentators discuss the upcoming events on RAW while real life matches were going on in the background. They’d even check in on matches from time to time, assuming they needed a few minutes for production breaks. I’m very critical that we don’t get to see Kofi and Sandow more often on RAW and we still didn’t BUT it was nice to get to see them in action, even for a moment, because I’ve never watched the Superstars show which is what they were taping. This is one of the advantages of the Network, allowing the WWE window to open a little more so that we can see the wrestlers that we like but aren’t on RAW. And vice-versa, some of the “buried” wrestlers will have more opportunities to be seen and hopefully get a push. Don’t forget, not all “buried” wrestlers are because the WWE doesn’t like them. It’s often a production issue. There’s only so much time on RAW and not everyone will get a spot.
Until Next Week…
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