WWE Power Rankings, RAW 6/02/2014

Coming at you from Indianapolis, the night after the Payback PPV that will go down as highly forgettable but a very well executed show, I was prepared to wax poetic about my love of the performances but the failure of the creative direction.  

A funny thing happened while on my way to complaining about the WWE’s Status Quo problem.  Nothing of importance or change happens for over two months and then, out of nowhere, Plan B.  Appropriate because like an abortion, the WWE knew it had to kill the current storyline problem child it had conceived of.  Out of left field just as The Shield was in the middle of their worst shoot, at the end of a horribly executed show and then Rollins shocks the WWE Universe by being the one to flip to Evolution.  Crazy!  Insane!  OMG!  …Let’s slow down.

Initially, I worked on a huge rant about how for the past year everything in the WWE has been Status Quo and how the WWE runs the same matches over and over again to the point where nothing matters.  If Cena wins a PPV match, it doesn’t matter because next month Bray will win round 2.  Bray wins round 2, it doesn’t matter because the next month Cena will win round 3.  Bray wasn’t there and Cena didn’t address his own storyline so we’ll have to wait to see if the Bray / Cena feud continues.  I’d bet everything I have that it will.

I broke down why Game of Thrones works so well due to wins and losses mattering and because of that, the buildups and payoffs (heroic or evil) work so much better and make me hunger for the next episode.  How in a good storyline, you can have an epic battle but once the dust clears (if both sides are alive) they don’t have a rematch the very next week.

My first reaction to the Rollins turn was amazement and excitement for such an interesting and unexpected twist.  Then I thought about it and all of the complaints I had and the rant I went on were all still valid.  One turn, decided upon seemingly minutes before they started the show, doesn’t change anything.  Even if you eliminate the Evolution / Shield storyline, all the other feuds are uninspired and repetitive (and those are the good ones, what do you say about that Rusev ceremony?)  We can’t let the final 5 minutes of a 3 hour show fool us.  I left the rant in the side notes because it still pertains to 90% of the roster.

We were given a curveball at WM30 with the Undertaker’s loss (by all accounts it too was a last minute decision).  A few months later we’re given a curveball that Rollins, the architect, of The Shield (and the one that’s kept them together over and over again, which solidifies in my mind this was a last minute decision) turns on his “brothers” and is the cause for the much speculated split of The Shield.  Two major twists in a years time should not redeem hours of futility.  

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 6/02/2014…

1. Evolution (1) – Evolution needs to be addressed with each character, so; BATISTA - Even with a solid match at Payback, all anyone could talk about was Batista’s wardrobe decision.  It was clearly set up to make us think that he was going to be the one to turn on his fellow Evolution members, but I wasn’t buying it.  Too obvious.  Just as it would be too obvious for me to make jokes about Batista’s wardrobe, like say, he looked like he just finished giving Grape Ape a prostate exam.  We’re all above such childish games.  In all seriousness, it was only a matter of time to when Batista was going to set away to do some Guardians of the Galaxy promotion.  In one sense, I appreciate the bandaid rip nature of how he left, “I Quit” and drop the mic (which seemed to be replayed 10 times).  Batista’s character had been misused almost since the moment he stepped back in his Euro-trash white jacket and skinny jeans so it was probably a relief to get out from under his current gimmick.  Hopefully when he returns, they’ll bring him back right away as a heel.  It was nice to see him wearing shades of green which was hopefully a nod to his Drax character in GotG.  RKO - For most of the show, RKO seemed to be the one who was going to gain the most from the D-Evolution split.  RKO vs Reigns, that would have been a good match regardless.  I’m curious to see if RKO gets more prominence or stays in the background like he has during this Evolution run.  HHH - Hate him all you want, he knows how to draw a camera to him.  When he gets a black eye, he doesn’t hide it, he stands center stage and has the camera focus in on it.  He is a master showman.  He also gets kudos for being the “mastermind” who pulled off Plan B and flipped Rollins.  Evolution gets the top spot because of how RAW ended.  It was a shock and an interesting twist on what we all thought was going to happen.  But as described, one move does not make for brilliance.  I’m definitely interested to see what happens next.  That’s always the most important aspect of promoting a wrestling show.  Make them tune in next week.
   
   
   
   
2. The Shield (5) – I felt sorry for the Indy crowd.  They had suffered through a really horrific show, especially the last hour leading into the big turn of Rollins.  I’ll admit, I don’t think anyone saw Rollins being the one who would turn on The Shield.  It was hard to tell if the crowd was in shock because of the twist or because something of note actually happened?  Either way, it was silent except for a small “You sold out” chant.  The Shield and Evolution put on a great match at Payback but the outcome of the match was completely “status quo” and furthers my belief that the design to turn Rollins was made on the fly.  It’s cool.  It was unexpected.  I’m really happy Rollins is going to get a chance to shine because he’s an awesome talent.  BUT there’s been absolutely no hints or clues to this.  The WWE is going to have to do a lot of retcon (to steal a nerd term) to explain the Rollins turn.
3. Rowan and Harper from house Wyatt (3) – Harper has moved up from a guy who looks like he’ll rape and kill you if you get stuck in the woods, to a guy who will rape and kill you if you get stuck in the woods but is also an excellent professional wrestler.  I’m all in on Harper.  Rowan, weeelllll, not so much.  BUT, I’ll give it up to Rowan that this was his best performance that I can recall.  Not many people would have thought that these two could have a run that isn’t directly involved with Bray when they all first came up but I’m down to see what they can do against an Usos team desperately looking for a quality opponent not named Ryb-Axel. 
   
4. The Usos (4) – I’m sorry to repeat myself but The Usos have to be thanking the wrestling gods that there’s now another quality tag team in the mix.  It was looking like a definite Usos / Ryb-Axel matchup (which still might happen) but now there’s a chance to let The Usos impress against Rowan & Harper.  In fact, Rowan & Harper might actually push them to grow even more as performers.  The Usos got their first backstage shoot in a long time.  It had it’s ups and downs but overall not bad.  It felt a little 10 years ago or what SNL would do if they were trying to make fun of a wrestling shoot but cut the kids some slack.  Oh, by the way, they lost a clean 1-2-3 and retained their titles… Don’t get me started.
5. Cesaro w/ Heyman and #BNB (2&11) – Both should be “Heymen guys” and both should have gold!  I always love to hear Heyman on the mic, even if it is about his geopolitical theories.  Heyman would certainly make “This Week with George Stephanopoulos” much more interesting if he could squeeze in a Sunday morning appearance.  Cesaro walking out on Barrett could be very interesting.  My only concern is that this could be a waste of two hot wrestlers.  On the other hand, pitting two hot wrestlers like Cesaro and Barrett together could be a very enjoyable feud.  Stay tuned.
6. Sheamus and RVD (8&9) – Clearly inspired by his pairing with Sheamus, RVD busted out an outstanding fire red slinglet.  Equally as hot, Sheamus has been very impressive in-ring over the past month.  Suddenly the thought of Sheamus going to join Evolution doesn’t seem that hard to get to.  Yes, Rollins looks like he’s going to take the number three slot but Sheamus is freed from any current storyline to round out Evolution at four members. 
   
7. #1 Lance “Born Ready / The 8th Grader” Stephenson aka Damien Sandow (16) – I love this guy.  He personifies Cheap Heat and is so good at it.  While I love what Sandow is doing week to week, Fred “The Oracle” reminded me of Charlie Haas and his gimmick of taking on different personas each week.  The difference is, Sandow is working each city and Haas did it via various wrestling gimmicks.  These joke gimmicks can’t last forever but Sandow is smart enough to make it last longer than Haas.  Regardless, Sandow needs a more substantial gimmick or feud.  Why not have Cody choose Sandow as Goldust’s partner?  The history is there and I assume everyone would work well together, even if it’s only for a short time until we get Rhodes brother vs brother.
   
   
   
   
8. Stephanie McMahon (6) – The WWE fashion expert giver her a B due to the poor choice of shoe.  A sexy high-heel would have been much better with her summer dress.  On the rattles off exposition ON LIVE TV like very few people can.  It’s so very impressive.  We were promised answers at Payback regarding the WWE Championship but they didn’t just kicked the can again, but punted it to Money in the Bank where Bryan must defend the title against Kane in a stretcher match or relinquish it to the winner of the MitB match.  The best part was when Cena and Stephanie were trading barbs and she was able to turn Cena’s surgical enhancements joke to work for her.  Yes, Stephanie is brilliant but either no one seems to care about what’s going on with the WWE title or no one really cares about Bryan being the champ.  They’ve even got Cena out there basically doing a shoot on his behalf.   
   
9. John Cena (4) – He must be getting a good cut on those towels because he promotes them like they’re the main event at WM.  It made no sense but Cena and Stephanie found themselves at verbal odds standing in the middle of the ring.  They went back and forth and even got “chesty” all in good fun.  Then Kane came out upon Stephanie’s behest and a match started.  Why?  Who knows?  What I do know is that Cena has found a calling in the ability to throw ringside stairs.  Should it be an Olympic event, I’ll put my money on SuperCena.  
10. Ziggler vs ADR (N/A&10) – Great match so why does the WWE wish to punish the fans?  Both these wrestlers should be in the MitB match, not fighting to be in it.  All this match meant was one, probably Ziggler, was going to get the shaft.  Sure enough, Ziggler got the shaft even though by all accounts he should have won the match.  STOP BURYING ZIGGLER!!  Maybe there’s a chance he can still sneak into the MitB match because everyone was distracted by JBL’s soliloquy of ADR’s family lineage.  It took me back to bible studies, Abraham begat Isaac; Isaac begat Jacob; Jacob begat who-the-fuck-cares just announce the match.  Please, more etymology of Machiavellian.  
11. Bo Dallas (17) – I’m all in on being a Bo-liever.  Although I’m afraid the crowd in Indy isn’t too hyped to see him.  The crowd was dead.  Whose idea was it for Bo to try to pull the exact Cheap Heat promo that Sandow did the segment prior?  Very poor booking.  The match was a bit of a mess as well.  Some of the sights and sounds from the crowd… “Bray is better” chant started / funny sign, “Bo-leave” / a “Bo-ring” chant finished the match off.  To top it off, Dallas seemed to botch the finisher.  But after all that, I still Bo-lieve he has a chance.
    
12. Kofi Kingston (N/A) – In what has become a WWE PPV tradition, they’ll re-run the same match back the night after the PPV.  At least with the Network, I haven’t just spent $50 on the PPV only to see the same thing the next night on RAW for free.  It’s still a mystery to why Kane interrupted Kofi and Bo’s match at Payback?  Kofi usually shines whenever he gets a chance to actually wrestle but for reasons beyond me, Kofi and Bo were not on the same page and the match came off poorly.  By the end I was hoping for another Kane interference.  
13. The Big Show (N/A) – Of course Big Show had to put an end to all of Sandow’s fun.  Chris Copeland should be happy because he got more playing time on RAW than he did in the entire playoffs!
14. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb vs Adam Rose (18) – I do agree with putting the Gluten free millennials in jail, so keep up the good fight Zeb.  We were supposed to get this match at Payback.  Instead we get a truncated version on RAW.  Adam Rose is like listening to your friends tell stories about their awesome trip to Las Vegas.  I don’t really care.  Although Rose’s finisher Party Foul was impressive.  Swagger needs a new running mate ASAP.
15. Goldust and ??? (12) – Sin fucking Cara?  This is Cody’s choice to team up with is brother?  What the hell is going on with the WWE?  It’s not that hard to set up a Brother vs Brother match.  IF anything, put Sandow in Cody’s replacement, at least there’s a story and history there.  Maybe Cody just wanted Big E’s seat watching TV backstage?
    
16. Ryb-Axel (N/A) – When the crowd wasn’t chanting “Goldberg” it was so dead you could hear Axel working on his in-ring lines.  We were treated to gems like “Take a look at that.”  Mr. Perfect is spinning in his grave.  This match was in the heart of the last half of the show that was just sloppy and unbearable.  
17. The Demon Kane (N/A) – …what, I’m sorry.  I fell asleep.  “This is that demon…blah, blah, blah”  Really Michael Cole?  Kane must be the demon of sleep?  He’s become the ultimate place holder.  The WWE was blessed that Kane was / is Bryan’s current opponent because of his ability to sit on the sidelines while we wait for WWE to figure out what is going on with the Heavyweight Championship.
18. Diva Match: N-Bella vs Aksana and Alicia Fox (14&HM) – I’m baffled by Alicia Fox.  Her in-ring is as good as any but I’m lost with her post match antics.  The Divas give another example of why it hurts for challengers to get clean wins over champs and how the WWE writers drop the ball on non main event feuds.  Fox beats Paige cleanly a week ago.  Looses to Paige at Payback.  Then on Monday, there’s no sign of Paige nary a mention.  So who’s getting the push?  The champ, Paige, or Alicia Fox?  On top of all this confusion, I can’t even knock N-Bella because she took some big bumps. 
19. Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (14) – I’m usually all in for Lana and Rusev.  Especially after Rusev and Big E put on a very good but quick match at Payback.  The match had a ton of potential.  What does the WWE do with two up and comers who just had a solid match?  Kill all momentum with a ridiculous Russian metal ceremony.  For sure, I thought Big E was going to interrupt this nonsense and continue their feud, but no.  It lasted all the way into the commercial break.  I’ve got to hand it to the Indy fans, they stuck it out and gave a great “This is awful” chant.  No truer words have ever been spoken.  Clearly there was a writer who put this together but it just went on and on and on.  Isn’t there anyone in the back watching the show who can throw themselves into the electrical transformer and blow the power out on the show?  This was the last thing leading into The Shield’s shoot and Rollins’ turn.  If not for the big twist at the end, this would have been the worst hour of wrestling in a few years.
    
20. Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs 3MB w/ Hornswoggle (20) – The feud of the century continues.  Afro-swoggle vs the Chupracabra or should I still to my Game of Throne references and say their “champions” the Mexican Frick & Frack vs 3MB-KCC.  When the match ended and El Torito donned the afro wig, I got flashbacks to young Diego Maradona.   It’s World Cup time so I better bust out my soccer references.
    
    
    
    

Honorable Mentions

Bray Wyatt’s Chair – Bray didn’t make it out of his Last Man Standing match with Cena but his sturdy chair was able to make it to Indy.

Side Note(s)

Why hasn’t any wrestler taken to using Johnny Manziel’s money finger motion?

Great WWE Shop commercial, Find What Fits You.  Say what you will about everything else the WWE does, they always put together great promo / hype packages and commercials for their products. 

Fred, my partner in crime on the WrestleCast, is going to have a field day with me because the announcers specifically said Rowan and Harper’s clean win, now officially puts them in tag title contention.  I completely disagree but to hear us argue, don’t forget to check out the BEARcast later this week.

*Initial version of the opening rant:

Just now, texting back and forth with frequent guest of the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which can be found at www.worldofbear.com and on iTunes) Dustin it gave me the clarity and brevity that I’ve been looking for these past weeks.

One of the biggest arguments that Fred and I get into on the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which again, can be found on iTunes or www.worldofbear.com) is the significance of Champions loosing 1-on-1 sanctioned matches with a clean 1-2-3 but retaining their belt(s).  To give you the quick version, Fred’s cool with it and sees it as a right of passage to getting a championship match but I’m against it because it devalues the champion and the match itself.  At the end of the day, we both make solid cases; enough so that we can fight about it ALL THE TIME.

We both agree on the solution; have a larger roster and creative staff or cut back on the amount of programming needed each week.  Currently, the WWE puts out about 15 to 18 hours of original programing each week.  The WWE isn’t going to cut programming back anytime soon and even if the WWE had the man-power available, it would not be cost effective to have a full time writer and production staff for each wrestler 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. 

Currently, we’re stuck with a lot of “Status Quo” in every storyline.  This is not new within wrestling.  It’s why we have Evolution vs The Shield as the main story on RAW and the PPV but on SmackDown or Main Event we get Rollins vs RKO.  The problem is when there’s no sub-package or additional elements they can throw into a feud and we keep getting the same match over and over again.  This results in the feeling of “Status Quo” because nothing is happening with the characters.  Lately, it is more than just a feeling.

Quick question: What’s the difference between the face Shield today and the heel Shield a year ago?

Answer: NOTHING.

Aside from proving that the three wrestlers are awesome in-ring, their essential characters have not changed at all.  They’ve got the same cool look and give really good shoots about how they’re going to kick their opponent’s ass but other than that, they are the same Hounds of Justice.

I’ve finally cracked why this current run of “Status Quo” with almost every WWE storyline has bothered me!  Watching Game of Thrones last night put everything in perspective.  

Before I get started, I don’t expect every TV show or wrestling feud to be on par with one of, if not the, greatest shows (and books, if you’re into that kind of stuff) ever written.  Stick with me and you’ll see my point.

One of the reasons why Game of Thrones is so great is because there are consequences.  Wins and losses matter.  Stannis Baratheon attacked the Lannisters for the right to sit on the Iron Throne to which he lost at the Battle of Blackwater (for all you non-GoT people, basically Stannis fought Joffrey for title of King of Kings).  The next episode we didn’t have Blackwater II: The Return.  We’re two seasons out and Stannis is still trying to regroup from the loss.  There was a consequence for attacking the champ AND loosing.

Two months ago, The Shield and Evolution started battling.  Great, I like both.  I understood that The Shield was very popular and the WWE wanted to capitalize on that by making them the good guys.  

(Ok, so first problem is just because fans think something is cool, you don’t automatically and blindly make them good guys.  Have some conviction and keep The Shield as heels.  We need good and evil in our stories.  You can always turn characters faces but it’s much harder to turn people into a heel.  Sticking with the GoT example, the Lannisters are heels but sometimes they can come off cool or we cheer for one of them.  When we start rooting for the Lannisters, the writer(s) have the Lannisters do something even more evil to ensure that they stay heels.  I enjoy the Lannisters but I understand they are bad people.  If down the line, the writer(s) want to make one of them a good guy in the story, have he / she do something heroic and they’ll quickly become a good guy / face.)

Never mind, like I said, not everything is Game of Thrones level.  I don’t recall one thing that The Shield has done that would make them heroes?  I believe they didn’t listen to HHH’s orders once and that was how they became good guys.  Since this “betrayal” a few months ago, Evolution was going to teach them a lesson.  There were some back and forth wins on RAW and SmackDown.  At the last PPV The Shield won.  Great.  Feud over, right?  NO.  We’ve had the same matches and premise go on for another month.  Again, last night at the Payback PPV, it was Evolution vs The Shield.  Once again, The Shield won.  It was a really good wrestling match but we’re at the same place we were at two months ago.  There’s been speculation that The Shield would breakup or Evolution would turn on itself.  When the dust settled, there was nothing new or different to move the feud down the line.

The biggest example is what’s happening to Daniel Bryan.  They might be buying him time before he can get back from injury but at some point the fans want know what’s going to happen with the Championship.  

It’s why The Undertaker loosing the streak was so good and will last forever because it was so unexpected.  

SO,

As you can see, the rant is still relevant.  Check out this week’s BEARcast - WrestleCast because there should be fireworks regarding the direction the WWE is going in, or lack there of, and can one desperate moment of excitement save deeper storyline problems?

Until next time…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 5/19/2014

Coming at you from London, and both the WWE and myself made trips home to visit our “parents”.  While the WWE went to visit London, I found myself in the old hippie mountain community of Idyllwild.  My parents decided not to retire in the metropolis that they’ve lived in for the past 60+ years (and where I live) but instead have chosen to grow old and die in some remote artsy-nudist colony in the woods 6000 feet above sea level.  Like the WWE, I sucked it up and traveled to their home to entertain them for a few days and to make sure they know we still love them.

Back to the WWE’s return to the British Isles.  You’ll find I use the term “British Isles” a lot because I don’t know crap about the geography of England and the surrounding countries that make up the ancient lands were our forefathers descended from.  Most of what I know stems from movies and television shows.  As far as I know, Doctor Who is still fighting William Wallace over same sex marriage rights of the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest and Brad Pitt is the reigning underground fight champion.

WWE is on a European vacation and like the Griswolds, they’ve been a bit lost for the past few weeks but have started to find their way back on track.  Letting wrestlers wrestle, fleshing out the Shield / Evolution feud, using the Beat the Clock gimmick to give the mid-carders something to do (albeit a lame gimmick and resulting in subpar matches, it gave screen time to a handful of wrestlers) and some other positive moves that we’ll get into on the countdown.  

The greatest help for any WWE show is a smart and hot crowd.  When the WWE travels, the crowds are almost always filled with marks because this might be the only chance all year that the hardcore fan gets an opportunity to see a live show.  The diehards flock to the shows and you’ll usually get a crowd similar to the night-after-WM RAW audience.   Also, the fans tend to be regional which means that Sheamus, Paige and Barrett will get huge pops.  

The other point of business that must be addressed is, what’s going to happen with Bryan and the WWE Heavyweight Championship?  A poll I put up on www.ringsidenews.com resulted with a King of the Ring-style tournament as being the voters top choice.  I couldn’t agree more because on the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which can be found on iTunes or www.worldofbear.com) two of the fantasy bookings I push for most are a new Corporate Nation and a new version of The King of the Ring.  We got very few details from Stephanie but it seems like next week’s RAW will shed more light on to what is going on with Bryan and the Championship.  The WWE is very lucky that Kane is Bryan’s current opponent and he 1) wasn’t a real contender to win and 2) is such an established wrestler, didn’t have much else going on and near retirement that his character could essentially be put on pause.  Could you imagine what would have happened if say Bray Wyatt was set for a huge match with Daniel Bryan at Payback?  The WWE got very lucky.  Or it shows how poorly the main WWE championship picture is, that we don’t really care? 

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 5/19/2014…

1. Bray and The Wyatt Family (3) – Last week The Shield tried to pull off a “cold open” but it didn’t have a great impact on the viewers at home.  I know I’m nitpicking but The Shield’s entrance works much better when they’re music hits and they come down through the crowd.  The Wyatts, on the other hand, are perfectly suited to start off in a blacked out arena, siting in the center of the ring.  It took a trip across the pond (or at least an audience full of marks) to get the Wyatt Army in full swing.  I know the WWE doesn’t want Bray and The Wyatts to be faces but if you’re going to blackout the entire arena and have everyone use their cell phones like lighters at a Lynyrd Skynyrd during Freebird, you’re going to get some face heat.  BUT, that doesn’t mean they couldn’t play the “bad-face” card.  It’s a difficult task, and recent WWE writing doesn’t inspire great confidence that they can pull it off, but NWO did it.  DX did it.  Even Ziggler did it when he was WWE Champ with AJ and Big E at his side (god forbid the WWE remembers that).  It can be done.  This week’s RAW also proved that you don’t always need to push the theatrics.  Maybe the WWE and Wyatts have earned the fan equity, to which the Wyatts have built-in the darkness to their character, using simple lighting and a dark arena with the fan’s lights was a better effect than herding in 100 kids with sheep masks to surround the ring.  Let’s not skip over Harper, who has been showing a lot of promise.  Right as I was thinking this was a pretty good brawler match, Harper pulled off a flurry of high-flying agility moves.  To finish the match, Bray whipped out some of the fastest Sister Abigails ever seen.  As far as RAW endings, going out with Bray singing, Harper counting down and Cena laid out for a 10-count, this was excellent.  Too bad Payback isn’t this Sunday.  We’ll be running this same thing back next week.  Finally, can we call Harper’s power move a “Moonshine Driver” instead of Michinoku? 
   
2. John Cena w/ the Usos (2) – If you listen to the BEARcast - WrestleCast (cheap plug for www.worldofbear.com) you’ll know that Fred “The Oracle” got his wish for the crowd to start singing “John Cena sucks…” in rhythm to Cena’s theme song.  We learned that the Bray / Cena match at Payback will be a Last Man Standing match.  Initially this sounds like a good match but then it hit me that Bray will win via help from Harper and Rowan, which will mean this feud will continue and not end at Payback.  Bray needs to move past Cena.  Ironically, Cena is benefiting more from this feud than Bray is.  Bray’s hot and could challenge for gold or go against anyone.  Where does Cena go after this Wyatt run?  If Cena looses at Payback, this feud will be tied at 1-1 and will continue to the next PPV.  Don’t tell me this lasts until SummerSlam?!?!
   
3. Rollins w/ Shield (1) – The Shield do what they do best, a backstage / bowels of the arena shoot.  Dean Ambrose clearly steals my slurred / stoned vocal delivery (which can be found on the BEARcast at www.worldofbear.com) but imitation is the greatest form of flattery, so I’m honored.  The week wouldn’t be complete if Rollins didn’t steal the show with an awesome move.  I’ve never seen someone sell an elbow or clothesline like Rollins did.  Even guys like Ziggler will flip and make it look like their heads are being taken off but Rollins looked like a dead body flipping around.  It was so amazing that the WWE showed it three times.  I can’t imagine The Shield loosing at Payback but this is wrestling and with the elimination stipulation for the rematch, who knows?  This only makes sense if The Shield wins and Evolution puts them over as faces and during the match, Evolution are the ones who experience some sort of inner turmoil.  (fingers crossed)  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Batista w/ Evolution (4) – HHH as Guest Announcer and RKO as Guest Time Keeper?  It’s good to be the King of Kings.  This goes to show Boo-tista has the ability to put on quality matches.  Yes, this was filled with interference but Batista and Rollins were good.  The whole match could have been a clusterfuck but it turned out to be really fun and I enjoyed the ending.  It’s fascinating that Evolution was / is supposed to put The Shield over but with their quality mic work and their in-ring excellence, The Shield is helping make Evolution better heels.  Assuming Batista is taking some time off to promote Guardians of the Galaxy, and the elimination / no holds barred stipulations of their match at Payback, I’m guessing we see dissension between Evolution members.  Maybe this time Evolution will turn on Batista versus last time when Evolution turned on RKO?  I’ll give the WWE this, they know how to frame a good camera shot.
   
5. Cesaro w/ advocate Paul Heyman (N/A) – Once again, Heyman is the show stealer.  Only Heyman can piss everyone off everyone by insulting a country’s octogenarian queen and at the same time fight the crowd from chanting with him.  Most wrestling performers die for crowd heat, Heyman plays with it like David Blaine and a deck of cards.  I know the belt’s names don’t really mean anything but is it wrong of me to think that at least one participant in a US Championship match should be, you know, from the United States?  I have the same beliefs with the IC strap.  Ireland’s Sheamus took on the Swiss Superman Cesaro?  The only thing more disturbing than two foreigners battling for the US belt was the way Cesaro started to hump Sheamus like a dog in heat during their lockups.  As you can tell, I’m complaining just to complain.  Cesaro and Heyman are great.  I’ll even look past the cheap win due to Heyman’s distraction.  While I might not agree with the intercontinental participants in the US championship, it will bring out the best in Cesaro trying to win the belt and has clearly helped raise the quality in Sheamus’s matches.  
   
6. Sheamus (11) – He’s going to get a semi-pop for being from the British Isles but he’s still an Irishman.  Every movie, from Braveheart to Rob Roy to Hunger and every Robin Hood incarnation, tells me that the British, Irish and Scottish don’t like each other.  But I supposed it’s similar to being a fan of the Dodgers / Angels or Lakers / Clippers, except without all the bloodshed and war, of course.  My loyalties lie with the Dodgers and Lakers but if they’re not in the playoffs, I’ll root for the Angels or Clippers.  I always figure most of the world lines up against the Swiss.  You can never trust the Swiss and their pacifism.  “Oh, we’re neutral.  Keep us out of any wars.  Feel free to deposit your Nazi money in our banks.”  Pick a side, you spineless bastards!  Up until the cheap loss, the Sheamus / Cesaro match was really good.  The past few weeks Sheamus has put on good segments.  I’m down to see where this feud goes.
   
7. Stephanie McMahon (15) – As the WWE fashion expert, I give her a B- for tonight’s outfit.  She is a master on the mic but it’s the subtle things she does that makes her so good.  Hopping around, mimicking Daniel Bryan’s entrance is a piece of art.  Stephanie is able to shoot and further the story without telling us anything.  Think about the job she had to do.  Nothing was going to happen, assumedly because the WWE still doesn’t know the exact timeframe for Bryan’s return, but Stephanie needed to address the situation, give the audience a Bryan surgery update and then push the storyline to next week.  She offered up options which was the best part of her shoot.  It was great to hear the fans’ reaction to each solution and wrestler she offered up as champion.  In the end, nothing happened and we need to tune in next week to see if Bryan will show up and / or see what The Authority will do with the WWE championship.  Great bit of business of turning something out of nothing.
   
8. Rob Van Dam (12) – RVD vs ADR in the BtC contest.  The acronym match of the night.  The good news was that the match wasn’t going to go longer than the previous match-time set at 5:02.  The bad news was that, out of all the BtC participants, RVD and ADR are two wrestlers that I would have liked to see a normal contest between.  RVD won and set the new BtC time at 4:15.  Not only did RVD take over Big E’s best time but also took over his spot watching the RAW feed.  Doesn’t it feel like RVD looked a bit bewildered at Big E’s post?  “Dude, so, you’re telling me whatever I see on this screen is what’s going on in the ring behind me?  Whaaaoooo.  Mind blown!” 
   
9. Alberto Del Rio (N/A) – Because I’m picking apart every little thing done on RAW, sometimes it feels like I’m watching the Zapruder film for three hours each Monday night.  Looking for clues to what the future holds.  I’d tell you that the future is a world that depends on role models like ADR to guide the children of the world.  To lead them into the light and to follow him to a better tomorrow.  Basically, he’s sticking around and his new character arc will harken back to one of his original themes, as the hero the WWE Universe needs.  This could be the start of his next big push OR nothing at all and I’m way too into Monday nights.  ADR does do a mean Bobby DeNiro.
   
10. Alicia Fox (10) – I hate to work a little blue, but I have to be honest with what I see, we had a bit of a Fox-camel-toe issue to start the match.  Putting my perversions aside, this was a much anticipated match.  Unfortunately it fell a little short compared to Alicia and Paige’s previous match-ups.  This time, it was clear why Alicia snapped and had a tantrum after the match.  She got the clean win and didn’t win the championship.  It was funny watching Alicia checking the cups to find the one that had soda vs beer.  I guess pouring beer on oneself is obscene but a kid’s soda is PG acceptable?  I’ll never understand censorship.
    
     
11. Paige (9) – Paige got the home country pop.  I live by the theory that you can’t have more than two weeks in a row of quality Diva matches.  This week proved that theory.  Paige and Alica didn’t have a horrible match but nothing compared to their previous two.  It was a bit shocking to see Paige lose in front of her home crowd.  But because this wasn’t a sanctioned “Divas Championship Title Match” it meant nothing.  It came off flat because; 1) Paige lost in front of her home crowd and 2) The loss was meaningless because the title wasn’t on the line so it didn’t matter that she lost, Paige is still the champ.  This is where I get to claim that these clean losses by champions but  no title changes hands are bullshit.  I understand the Diva roster might be thin but how many times do Paige and Alicia Fox need to fight before the match actually counts?
    
12. Dolph Ziggler (6) – My excitement to hearing Ziggler’s music hit was muted by the fact that there was no way Ziggler was beating Henry, let alone in less than 4:15.  Ziggler has gotten more run lately and continues to be his awesome self.  He damn near beat Henry in an exciting match.  I don’t want to see a prolonged feud between the two but I’d be more than happy to see Ziggler vs Henry one more time without the clock running to see how that match would end.  It shouldn’t last too much longer.  Part of the beauty of that match was that Ziggler needed to out-quick Henry’s power in order to beat him.  
    
13. Mark Henry (N/A) – Fought Ziggler in the BtC and while neither of them won, both got screen time and as we’ve discussed, being on RAW is one step closer to having a meaningful run.  I don’t expecting Henry and Ziggler to continue fighting each other but they did put on a surprisingly strong match.  The contrast in styles was interesting.  There’s been a lot of rumblings about a new Nation starting.  I’m told TNA is doing something similar with MVP?  Unfortunately it’s happening on TNA and well, “If a tree falls in the woods…”  All I know is that when the new Corporate Nation takes place, I want to be on record of calling it.  It’s so obvious and would be perfect.  Henry could be the leader.  He’s perfect to tie in the previous incarnation and the new one. 
14. #BadNewsBarrett (N/A) – You knew Barrett was going to get the hometown crowd and cheap pop.  It would have been nice to see him in a match before 20,000 of his countrymen and women but I guess that’s too much to ask of the WWE?  Instead we get three BtC matches to decide who will challenge Barrett for his IC belt.  Not to beat a dead horse, but you’ve got an English IC champ in London and on your flagship television program he barely makes an appearance.  What a splendid use of an asset…  
    
15. Big E (17) – Thank you Mr. E for putting us out of our collective misery by finishing off Ryback in 5:02.  Last week I heralded a Big E vs Rusev match to find out which big man with similar styles would prevail.  You’d think that Ryback would fit into that same mold but he don’t.  Can we please have a story where Big E isn’t watching RAW from backstage?  Now it’s just getting creepy.  Big E has used up all his backstage-monitor-watching privileges for 2014.   
    
16. Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (16) – I felt sorry for the UK fans.  Cheer for the hated Russian or the mockery that is the Union Jacks.  Was it not bad enough that 5 Seconds of Summer were compared to the Beatles on Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards?  What, you know nothing of this because no one watches the BBMA?  I guess I really am a shut-in who watches too much TV.  The only two people truly benefiting from the escalating tensions between the US and it’s allies against Russia are Rusev and Lana.  But as I mentioned last week, how far do they take this if the hostilities get really bad?  With help of Photoshop and a few flag switches, Rusev continued to get some hot heel heat.  Lana has turned into my second favorite manager behind Heyman.  Way behind, she’s still a valet while Heyman is an Advocate.
    
17. Adam Rose vs Jack Swagger w/ Zeb (13&14) – Rose is from Australia but to our uncivilized American ears, he sounds like he’s British.  Close enough, right?  I’m still not totally sold on the gimmick and it will depend on his in-ring skills.  If he does get over he needs to give a portion of his check to Zeb.  Zeb has been a great foil for Mr. Rose.  Payback can’t come soon enough so that we can see Rose in action vs Swagger.  Feuding with Rose is like going to the Halloween costume party from Karate Kid and Swagger’s new “Big Hoss” workout jacket makes him look like the teacher from Cobra Kai.  That should be Swagger’s new gimmick and Zeb can play the über master from Karate Kid part 3.  This is all fun and games.  We’ll see how this little feud plays out and then both Rose and Swagger will be challenged to keep any kind of heat moving on to real opponents.
    
18. Ryback w/ Curtis Axel (20) – “The Big Guy” not only is a horrible name but Ryback also gave us a horrible shoot to set up the Big E / Ryback match.  I delt like I was hit with a tranquilizer dart and it was a race against time to see if I could stay awake through the end of the match.  That’s the true Beat the Clock aspect of their match.  Why does it bother me so much when Ryback starts pounding on his chest like a guerrilla?  Fuck it, just keep doing it for as long as possible.  Thump away for 30 seconds.  Win me over by taking it to the extreme.  I do find Ryback slightly less annoying than Axel, so maybe it’s Curtis Axel that’s the real issue for this tag team?  My time is too valuable to waste thinking about this, so….
    
19. Fandango w/ Layla (18) – Layla is British born?  I thought she was Mexican?  Not to get too geopolitical but Layla is an example of the future of the human race where everyone is just some shade of brown with exotic features.  Not even the stringent of racist could complain about more Laylas in the world.  What I can complain about…talk about poorly worded transitions…is that we didn’t get a good cat fight last week, well the WWE must have been listening because we got one with the returning Summer Rae returning to reclaim her man meat.  Who knows where this is going but once again, it’s a storyline and the last few times we saw Summer, she was putting on some above average Diva matches.  I’m refrain from any rulings until I see more.
    
20. The Union Jacks aka 3MB (N/A) – Heath Slater got slaughtered by Rusev.  Thank you Mother Russia.  While I admire 3MB for being on the KCC crew, I still can’t stand their gimmick.  The only time in the last few years that I’ve found them even slightly acceptable has been when they take on the persona of the city that they are in.  In London, they become The Union Jacks.  When they were in Nashville, they were something else.  If they want to gain favor and be more than nameless jobbers, be creative.  They could still lose each week, but at least lose with flair and get a cheap pop from the crowd.
    

Honorable Mentions

German Announce table – I guess, the German announce table is Europe’s version of our Spanish announce table.  The German announce team looks exactly as I would have pictured them in my mind.  So white, so joyous, so dorky.

Beat the Clock Challenge – Themed events / promotions such as tournaments and Beat the Clock are great tools to give large groups of characters something to do without any backstory.  I hope WWE Creative doesn’t rely too much on cheap gimmicks like these instead of working out fully fleshed out stories.  In the meantime, I’ll take the cheap gimmick over nothing.  The drawback with Beat the Clock is that when you’ve got a boring match (I’m talking to you Ryback), the clock only makes things worse.  The big clock in the corner tells me, “I’ve been watching this crap for 5 minutes?”

Bo-lieve – He’s making his debut this Friday on Smackdown.  Is it enough to get me to watch SmackDown?  I doubt it.  That’s what YouTube and the WWE Network are for.  

R-Truth w/ The Funkadactyls – Well, they got to rap…kinda?

Side Note(s)

Wolfenstein: The New Order is yet another video game that looks awesome but shows how old I am.  Who doesn’t want to kill robot Nazis on the moon?  Like TitanFall a few months ago, there’s no way I can keep up with these kids online.  It also makes me feel old because I remember playing the original Castle Wolfenstein back in computer lab in middle school.  It was the first FPS that I ever played and was addicted to it every recess for a full semester.  That was about 20 years ago.  Shit, I’m fucking old.

Until next time…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 4/28/2014

Coming at you from St. Louis, and it is time for the “go home” show prior to Extreme Rules.  Last week was and odd show.  Fred and I both felt that way, which you can hear on the BEARcast - WrestleCast at www.worldofbear.com or subscribe on iTunes.  For what seemed like three weeks in a row, RAW had a somber tone with both The Ultimate Warrior and Daniel Bryan’s father passing away.  The shows have been good.  The performers have all done well.  There has just been a grey cloud hanging over the WWE since WM30 when The Undertaker lost.  But as we said in the podcast, we watch wrestling for the fun and enjoyment so let’s break out of this funk.  

Extreme Rules is setting up to be a great PPV.  I challenge that it’s a better all-around card than WM30’s was!  I seem to be in the minority, or on an island, because on a recent poll I put up at www.ringsidenews.com everyone else says WM30 had a better lineup.  I support the first amendment and free speech.  Everyone has the rite to their opinion.  Just know that everyone is wrong and I’m correct when I say Extreme Rules has a better lineup going into the PPV.  It’s fairly simple and self explanatory.  

I’m excited for Extreme Rules.  I’m bored of talking about deaths in the WWE family.  I’m tired of hearing about D. Sterling, the worst owner in all of sports (finally, people outside of Los Angeles are seeing him for who he truly is).  I just want to have fun!  I want to see Wolverine fight Ziggler, or anyone, in the ring.  I want to see Bray Wyatt and Cena continue their verbal sparing.  I want to see who’s going to fight Big E (even though I’d bet everything that Barrett is winning the IC tourney).  Do I need to say anything more than Evolution vs The Shield?  Even the Divas matches have been good.  That’s right, the Divas matches.  

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 4/28/2014…

1. Bray and The Wyatt Family (1) – Do I even need to make a case for The Wyatts being number 1?  Who’s going to step up and say that the WWE doesn’t have this gimmick down?  Sometimes you can feel and see when the creative team, the wrestler and the fans are all on the same page and it’s magical.  In this case, a little scary and a bit creepy but in a fun way.  We always joke that Cena’s split crowd is between older males vs women and children.  Bray just took away the kids.  For the love of all that’s holy, not the innocent children!  This was a great setup for the PPV on Sunday.
   
2. John Cena (7) – I can’t remember the last time Cena opened a RAW but I can tell you it wasn’t as good as this week’s open.  Is Cena upset at all the B and C-level wrestlers that have been getting WWE movie parts?  Because on RAW he basically put together his audition tape.  I don't know if he’ll get a part in the next Steve McQueen movie but god help him, he’s trying.  I don’t know if there’s a spot in 12 Years A Slave: part 2 The Revenge (Oh wait, that was done already in Django Unchained.  Side Note, friend of the Blog and BEARcast, Ethan, made a good point the other day; “Flip those two movies and release 12 Years before Django and both win more awards.”  Talk amongst yourselves.) but who am I to knock a guy who spits out lines from The Dark Knight.  Cena did a great job of putting over some of the other Superstars (as he always does).  Again, my only concern is after what should be the resolution to this feud at Extreme Rules, Cena is having too much fun and will force this feud to continue.  While Cena might want to go another round with Bray, I think it will become tiresome to the fans and hurt Bray’s brand if he rides with Cena too long.  Lastly, didn’t it seem like Cena was channelling The Rock in that second shoot backstage? 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Roman Reigns w/ The Shield (6) – Another day and another great shoot by The Shield.  There were rumors that Flair was going to make a return and The Shield all but called him out in their backstage shoot.  If I wasn’t already tipped off, I would have been greatly surprised that The Shield got the endorsement from Flair.  From the sound of the crowd, I don’t think it went over quite as well as the WWE would have wished for.  Due to Flair’s, let’s just call it slooow, delivery the show ran extra long which caused the match between Reigns and RKO to feel rushed.  I would have loved to see a full match between these two.  Fear not, I get the feeling we’ll be seeing RKO vs Reigns many times over in the next few years.  
   
4. Randy Orton w/ Evolution (5) – Assuming RKO got the in-ring slot because he’s from St. Louis, it’s always a bit weird to see the fan reaction to a heel when he’s back in his hometown.  The twist of Flair giving The Shield his endorsement didn’t seem to play well.  Maybe it was a crowd thing or maybe it was the fact that Flair came, slurred and left.  The flow to the ending was just off.  Too bad but luckily I don’t think anyone is going to care.  Evolution vs Shield is neck-and-neck with Cena vs Bray as the most anticipated matches at Extreme Rules.  Even with RKO vs Reigns being truncated, we still got some great wresting and hopefully a preview for Sunday.  Speaking of good wrestling, it must be said that HHH knows how to give a spine-buster, unlike a certain Ryback who looked like he was tossing around a giant tuna instead of wrestling a man.  Someone had to say it.  Let’s be honest, other than Batista, every member of this 6-man tag match can go.  That’s being too harsh on Batista because he’s capable of doing well in the right setting, which this will be, so I’m expecting a great match on Sunday.
   
5. Cesaro w/ advocate Heyman (10) – “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”  Heyman just about stole the show (again).  He’s so good on the mic it’s unfair to all the other performers, except maybe Stephanie McMahon.  I was close to giving Heyman his own slot but then Cesaro complimented Heyman’s shoot with yet another great in-ring performance.  Cesaro's counter of Swagger which led into the double side-suplex was an amazing exhibition of strength.  Why can’t this be the official end to the Cesaro / Swagger feud?  Not that it’s awful but both wrestlers are on different trajectories and they can’t get going while still being tied to each other.  Then in the end, I don’t get the Cesaro / Swagger / RVD thread?  Who is fighting who?  Is RVD’s feud with Heyman going to manifest in to a RVD / Cesaro feud, which I’m all for.  Then Swagger keeps injecting himself back into Cesaro’s life.  Swagger and Zeb are like the first stripper you get a lap dance from on a night out to a gentleman’s club.  They keep hanging around until you eventually leave.  Tip to all you kids out there, NEVER get a lap dance from the first stripper that comes up to you.  There’s a reason that they’re not busy with someone else, it’s because there are better looking girls.  Just be patient.  Or if you’re lucky enough to have a lot of money, use the first stripper to bring over other girls.  You can only do this if you’re going to drop some real money, so stick to the tip of don’t fall for the first stripper to offer you a lap dance.  Patience is the key to life.    
   
6. Dolph Ziggler (18) – There is no excuse for this man to not have a top slot in the WWE.  I usually don’t subscribe to such buffoonery but this was great.  So great that all you can say is, “Super Rad!”
   
7. Damien Sandow (18) – How do you not love this guy?  As a comic book nerd, I love to see that Sandow went with a classic Magneto look.  The WWE has hit a stride with their use of Hollywood talent.  One segment.  Not too much.  For the second time in a row, their Hollywood guest could easily be on the WWE roster.  This time it was Wolverine and last time it was Big Dick Richie, both of whom have the build of some of their top tier wrestlers.  Just enjoy the pics.  
   
8. The Usos (12) – If the Usos lose to Ryb-Axel, I’ll have to start believing in god again because clearly we’re in hell.  Luckily the Usos retained the titles but I fear it might not be for long.  It was clear from the start, the Usos wanted to put on a show and let the audience see the difference between good wrestling and the garbage that Ryb-Axel produces.  The Usos were synchronized in almost every move they pulled in the first few minutes of the match.  It got a little sloppy when it was time for Ryb-Axel to take the lead in the match but when one-of-the-Usos (I swear, one day I’ll learn the difference) frog-splashed Axel’s Perfect-Plex, I had to jump up for joy.  Hell of a match, from the Usos.
9. #BadNewsBarrett (8) – B- on the shoot.  I supposed it doesn’t hurt that Barrett looks like a huge cock rising from the middle of the arena when he’s supposed to be a huge cock being raised above on his platform ejaculating hot fire at everyone.  Amazingly, he’s pulling this off.  Spraying the crowd with venom like a giant sized water weasel.  It only works because he’s backing it up in the ring.  By hook or by crook he was going to win the match with RVD and go on to face Big E at Extreme Rules.  With so many quality matches coming out from the IC tourney, it was a bit of a letdown  that this match ended in such a cheap manner.  Regardless, I’m ready for the Big E vs Barrett match, “Let’s get it on!”
   
10. Rob Van Dam (11) – Proof that stoners aren’t just stupid druggies, even Mr. 420 knows not to side with Zeb.  Then again, maybe this is what this RVD vs Heyman kerfuffle is all about?  As weird as it would sound, maybe the WWE is trying to bring back the manager position and have a Zeb stable vs Heyman stable?  None of this sounds appealing to me but RVD looks to be getting back into shape and he needs something to do.  This has the classic look, wait until we have time to tell the story and then judge us.  So, I will.
11. Stephanie McMahon (3) – Last week, Stephanie got MVP honors for the solo performance she put on.  She allowed Bryan to not have to say anything, pushed the storyline for Bryan vs Kane at Extreme Rules and was able to walk the line between pretending-to-give-a-shit and still being the Queen Bee Heel.  It would have been near impossible to pull off the same level of performance from last week but she tried her hardest.  This week didn’t work for me quite the same.  I think Stephanie sold it too well.  Maybe it was because Bryan actually did some talking this week and, shhhhhh - he’s not that good on the mic.  I know, blasphemy.  I tell the truth.  Speaking of which, my only problem with Stephanie is her wardrobe.  I know I’m going all Joan Rivers E! Fashion Review but she’s the head of a company that’s a billion dollars.  She can’t wear such horrible outfits.  The most annoying part is that half the time she looks great and the other half it’s like she pulling clothes out of local Goodwill bins.  There’s no excuse that she doesn’t have a major designer working solely for her each week.  You can’t tell me that any designer or clothing manufacturer wouldn’t want to have their clothes seen on TV each week.  The dress this week was horrible.  The flesh tone cutouts made it look like we’re getting some under-boob and cleavage but it wasn’t.  You can’t fool me.  I don’t know why this bothers me so much but it does.  All the men wear great suits.  Evolution is rocking the high end suit look so why can’t the owner be at the same level? 
12. Kane (4) – In comedy there’s The Rule of 3’s.  I’ve also heard of, Third times a charm.   I don’t know if there’s a Rule of Three when it comes to The Devil’s Favorite Demon (I thought it was son?) and his mask but if it works for charms and comedy, I guess it will work for Kane too.  There’s no earthly reason for this because we’ve already seen Kane back in full masked getup.  I could have gone without the theatrics of Kane coming out of the ring and trying to drag B-Bella down (where exactly where they going to go?) but what I picked up was there was a lot of classic Kane going on.  By that I mean, some classic Undertaker mimicking.  If this is Kane’s last run, I applaud going out old with the best version.  If Kane’s sticking around…well, I guess I just like this old school version better than their use of the recent Korporate Kane.  
    
13. Daniel Bryan & wife B-Bella (2) – The jovial, underdog, trying to chase the championship Bryan is better than the defending the honor of his wife and stemming the tide of The Authority Bryan.  While I’m no fan of the current storyline between Kane and Bryan, I do anticipate them having a good match at Extreme Rules.  The other disappointing part of their segment was that B-Bella has proven to be the better wrestler of the Bella Twins.  Her match with Paige was cut short due to all the Kane nonsense.  Oh well.  More importantly, I guess it’s OK to for a woman to call another woman a bitch on a PG show?  I’ll never understand the Standards and Practices guidelines.
    
    
    
    
14. Cody Rhodes w/ Goldust (13) – It seems Cody has some issues with Goldust.  I gotta say, I’m disappointed with the execution of this storyline.  For years, I’ve said that I will watch Cody vs Goldust with only a days notice.  No setup needed.  Brother vs Brother and I’m there.  But with how they’re handling this Rhodes brothers breakup, I’d much rather the WWE just have a one day prior notification to the fans.  There isn’t a real explanation to what’s going on with Goldust and why Cody is so upset?  If they were going to go with the “you screwed me over” bit, I’d understand.  If they tried the “Where were you when I needed you?” I’d understand.  Maybe I’m stupid or not paying enough attention but I don’t see the rift?  AND WHY NOW????  You had a chance to do this at WM30, which would have been awesome.  Again, why now?  Especially with the sudden lack of depth in the tag division.  Maybe this is a little misdirection or just planting the seeds for a time further down the road.  We all thought The Shield was breaking up and look at where they’re at now?
    
15. Alberto Del Rio (N/A) – ADR came out on fire.  Yet another quality wrestling talent that is going unused.  Here’s my issue, and maybe I’ll have to delve into this more another day, but it seems like the WWE has focused all its energy on just the top 3 to 5 feuds / story lines.  The bottom of the card and roster seems to be thrown together that night with no long term plans.  We know there’s new talent coming up through NXT, Bo Dallas and Adam Rose in particular, who will get screen time.  What’s going to become of Kofi, Ziggler, ADR, Sandow, RVD, Swagger, Miz, both Rhodes (assuming they break up) and even Cesaro if they’re not mixed in with championship feuds or with Cena / Bray (who can be on their own island and not affect their popularity)?  What’s happening with these really talented wrestlers?  The IC tourney was great for creating something for these mid-carders to be involved in.  From that, we’ve only seen one, possibly two, feuds stem from it.  All’s I’m saying is there is a huge pool of talent that isn’t being address.  Oh, but we get to see 3MB / Hornswoggle / Los Matadores / El Torito get major TV time?!  This is where I’d like the WWE to allow one, two or a handful of writers and wrestlers to join up and say, “create something.”  Give them 15 to 30 minutes per show and see what they can come up with.  If time is so precious on RAW, lend more time on Smackdown.  Wrestlers like ADR are being wasted.
16. Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (16) – Lana, Lana, Lana.  My girlfriend happen to be watching the same time Lana came out and her comment was, “Those shoes she wears look so uncomfortable.”  I replied, “Yes dear, that’s exactly what I was thinking.  You stole the words right out of my mouth, my love.”  Anything to shut her up and let me gaze at my Russian dominatrix.  If she turned to the camera and said, “Bear, crush!” half this block I live on would be dead within minutes.  This is making it really hard for me to condemn Putin’s actions in the Ukraine.  I’m so confused.  I hate it when my big head and little, excuse me, my not-as-big head disagree.  I’m just a mortal man.  Social injustice or sexual desires?  Decisions, decisions… You know it’s going to kill me when I see some YouTube video of Lana in her regular American accent and it turns out she's just some girl from Minnesota.
    
17. Sheamus (9) – It’s been no secret that I haven't been the biggest Sheamus fan since his return but last week he put on a great match in a loss to Barrett in the IC tourney.  This week, Sheamus didn’t do a whole lot but it was effective and moved forward, in what I’m guessing is now, the plot along for a feud between Sheamus and Titus.  I’m much more into this feud than the Sheamus / Christian feud.  The world works in mysterious ways, and during a week were all we’ve talked about is race relations, we get a battle which could be titled, “Darkness vs The Irish Rose.”
18. Titus O’Neil (N/A) – Always seems to be just a little too confident.  We all have our faults.  Titus really took it to Sheamus at the start of the match, only to be felled by a massive boot to the face.  It would have been nice to see a true ending to the Primetime Players.  I feel sorry for Darren Young because he was last seen on the back of a milk carton.  I understand what the WWE is doing.  Needing to replace Christian, Titus works well because he’s on the same rung of the WWE ladder but on almost the exact opposite side of the face / heel spectrum as Sheamus.  It really does make a lot of sense and it’s new, which I’m all for.  Good booking by the WWE.
19. Ryback and Curtis Axel (HM) – Ryb-Axel.  They had a song and now they have a logo.  Fred “The Oracle” is right, they really are going to win the tag belts, aren’t they?  One announcer referred to Ryback’s nickname as…wait for it…”The Big Guy”?  Dear God, tell me who I must smite for you to send Ryb-Axel from whence they came and they shall be smoten.  I’m 99% positive the writers are not fans of, or even aware of, 90’s Japanese Manga but more likely products of afternoon cartoons and even then I think I’m giving them too much credit.  “Big Guy” is what you call anyone that’s above average (and sometimes people below average, it’s one of the dumbest terms).  As I watch the match, Ryback has become a cartoon.  He’s even adopted the gimmick of unleashing himself for the constraints of his onesie to accomplish his finisher.  They suck!  Congratulations to our next WWE tag champions… 
    
20. Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs 3MB w/ Hornswoggle (20) – You know what’s worse than El Torito vs Hornswoggle?  Los Matadores vs 3MB without the weeLC participants.  It’s a bad sign when Heath Slater and 3MB win the match.  God willing this is the slippery slope to the end of Los Matadores but as long as the WWE is willing to put on midget wrestling, and by all accounts they took Hornswoggle out of the pot-o-gold getup (which is weird since he’s going to be promoting the new Leprechaun movie shortly, no pun intended) and he and El Torito are on the precipise of a major feud.  You know how I was complaining about mid-carders not being the focus of the WWE creative staff?  Well, I guess they’re too busy with this bullshit (maybe a LITTLE pun intended).  Either way, it is garbage.  
    

Honorable Mentions

Ric Flair – WHHOOOOOOOOO.  Only two things on earth make that sound.  An excited drunk or Ric Flair.  Sometimes, they’re one and the same.  WHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Hugh Jackman – He’s got the cheap pops down.  Jean Valjean seems to have fun when appearing on RAW.  Another job well done by the WWE and the Hollywood star(s) that come on.  The last two Hollywood-ites, Wolverine and Big Dick Richie, both looked like they had fun and could easily be on the WWE roster if they wanted to change careers.  

Paige – This would have been the third week in a row that we got a good Divas match.  I guess that’s another rule of three; There shall not be three consecutive weeks of good Divas matches.  Tamina Snuka vs Paige at Extreme Rules is either going to be very good or a very bad.  I almost feel that I’ve been hyping the Divas too much lately and we’re in store for a dud.  I hope I’m wrong.

Big E – For sure, I thought he’d have more to do than his weekly backstage creeping.  There’s kinda a lot of pressure on Big E to perform well at Extreme Rules, no?  While all his challengers have put on good matches the past three weeks, Big E has done nothing.  It would be anti-climatic if he simply dropped the IC strap and / or didn’t have a good match at the PPV.

Kofi Kingston – The brother looks good in a suit.  He speaks so well.  I hate to keep bringing it up but GIVE ME MY CORPORATE NATION!  

Xavier Woods w/ R-Truth – These two could actually be a good tag team if the WWE put them together as such, like they did with Ryb-Axel.  Who’d have thought R-Truth would be the reasonable one?  That’s like Metta World Peace being the players rep for the Knicks.

Swagger w/ Zeb – There’s only one question; Are they going to get another wrestler to join the Real Americans?  They need to.  Otherwise it’s going to look like Cliven Bundy and son.

Side Note(s)

I had a whole dissertation written about racism and the difference between insensitive gimmicks and actually systemic racism in the light of what’s happen recently with the Clippers and D. Sterling but all of you are probably just as board with this crap as I am.  The WWE can be insensitive but I’ve never felt that they don’t want every dollar they can get and ever seat to be filled, whether the audience is black, white, brown, red, yellow or orange.  The WWE travels around the globe to entertain.  Currently, there’s a lack of asian wrestlers in the WWE but maybe that could be explained by the popularity of wrestling in Japan, which would cause many of their wrestlers to stay in the various promotions on that side of the Pacific Ocean?  Regardless, I’m done talking about race for the day.  In the immortal words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?”

Until next time…

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