WWE Power Rankings, RAW 6/02/2014

Coming at you from Indianapolis, the night after the Payback PPV that will go down as highly forgettable but a very well executed show, I was prepared to wax poetic about my love of the performances but the failure of the creative direction.  

A funny thing happened while on my way to complaining about the WWE’s Status Quo problem.  Nothing of importance or change happens for over two months and then, out of nowhere, Plan B.  Appropriate because like an abortion, the WWE knew it had to kill the current storyline problem child it had conceived of.  Out of left field just as The Shield was in the middle of their worst shoot, at the end of a horribly executed show and then Rollins shocks the WWE Universe by being the one to flip to Evolution.  Crazy!  Insane!  OMG!  …Let’s slow down.

Initially, I worked on a huge rant about how for the past year everything in the WWE has been Status Quo and how the WWE runs the same matches over and over again to the point where nothing matters.  If Cena wins a PPV match, it doesn’t matter because next month Bray will win round 2.  Bray wins round 2, it doesn’t matter because the next month Cena will win round 3.  Bray wasn’t there and Cena didn’t address his own storyline so we’ll have to wait to see if the Bray / Cena feud continues.  I’d bet everything I have that it will.

I broke down why Game of Thrones works so well due to wins and losses mattering and because of that, the buildups and payoffs (heroic or evil) work so much better and make me hunger for the next episode.  How in a good storyline, you can have an epic battle but once the dust clears (if both sides are alive) they don’t have a rematch the very next week.

My first reaction to the Rollins turn was amazement and excitement for such an interesting and unexpected twist.  Then I thought about it and all of the complaints I had and the rant I went on were all still valid.  One turn, decided upon seemingly minutes before they started the show, doesn’t change anything.  Even if you eliminate the Evolution / Shield storyline, all the other feuds are uninspired and repetitive (and those are the good ones, what do you say about that Rusev ceremony?)  We can’t let the final 5 minutes of a 3 hour show fool us.  I left the rant in the side notes because it still pertains to 90% of the roster.

We were given a curveball at WM30 with the Undertaker’s loss (by all accounts it too was a last minute decision).  A few months later we’re given a curveball that Rollins, the architect, of The Shield (and the one that’s kept them together over and over again, which solidifies in my mind this was a last minute decision) turns on his “brothers” and is the cause for the much speculated split of The Shield.  Two major twists in a years time should not redeem hours of futility.  

So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 6/02/2014…

1. Evolution (1) – Evolution needs to be addressed with each character, so; BATISTA - Even with a solid match at Payback, all anyone could talk about was Batista’s wardrobe decision.  It was clearly set up to make us think that he was going to be the one to turn on his fellow Evolution members, but I wasn’t buying it.  Too obvious.  Just as it would be too obvious for me to make jokes about Batista’s wardrobe, like say, he looked like he just finished giving Grape Ape a prostate exam.  We’re all above such childish games.  In all seriousness, it was only a matter of time to when Batista was going to set away to do some Guardians of the Galaxy promotion.  In one sense, I appreciate the bandaid rip nature of how he left, “I Quit” and drop the mic (which seemed to be replayed 10 times).  Batista’s character had been misused almost since the moment he stepped back in his Euro-trash white jacket and skinny jeans so it was probably a relief to get out from under his current gimmick.  Hopefully when he returns, they’ll bring him back right away as a heel.  It was nice to see him wearing shades of green which was hopefully a nod to his Drax character in GotG.  RKO - For most of the show, RKO seemed to be the one who was going to gain the most from the D-Evolution split.  RKO vs Reigns, that would have been a good match regardless.  I’m curious to see if RKO gets more prominence or stays in the background like he has during this Evolution run.  HHH - Hate him all you want, he knows how to draw a camera to him.  When he gets a black eye, he doesn’t hide it, he stands center stage and has the camera focus in on it.  He is a master showman.  He also gets kudos for being the “mastermind” who pulled off Plan B and flipped Rollins.  Evolution gets the top spot because of how RAW ended.  It was a shock and an interesting twist on what we all thought was going to happen.  But as described, one move does not make for brilliance.  I’m definitely interested to see what happens next.  That’s always the most important aspect of promoting a wrestling show.  Make them tune in next week.
   
   
   
   
2. The Shield (5) – I felt sorry for the Indy crowd.  They had suffered through a really horrific show, especially the last hour leading into the big turn of Rollins.  I’ll admit, I don’t think anyone saw Rollins being the one who would turn on The Shield.  It was hard to tell if the crowd was in shock because of the twist or because something of note actually happened?  Either way, it was silent except for a small “You sold out” chant.  The Shield and Evolution put on a great match at Payback but the outcome of the match was completely “status quo” and furthers my belief that the design to turn Rollins was made on the fly.  It’s cool.  It was unexpected.  I’m really happy Rollins is going to get a chance to shine because he’s an awesome talent.  BUT there’s been absolutely no hints or clues to this.  The WWE is going to have to do a lot of retcon (to steal a nerd term) to explain the Rollins turn.
3. Rowan and Harper from house Wyatt (3) – Harper has moved up from a guy who looks like he’ll rape and kill you if you get stuck in the woods, to a guy who will rape and kill you if you get stuck in the woods but is also an excellent professional wrestler.  I’m all in on Harper.  Rowan, weeelllll, not so much.  BUT, I’ll give it up to Rowan that this was his best performance that I can recall.  Not many people would have thought that these two could have a run that isn’t directly involved with Bray when they all first came up but I’m down to see what they can do against an Usos team desperately looking for a quality opponent not named Ryb-Axel. 
   
4. The Usos (4) – I’m sorry to repeat myself but The Usos have to be thanking the wrestling gods that there’s now another quality tag team in the mix.  It was looking like a definite Usos / Ryb-Axel matchup (which still might happen) but now there’s a chance to let The Usos impress against Rowan & Harper.  In fact, Rowan & Harper might actually push them to grow even more as performers.  The Usos got their first backstage shoot in a long time.  It had it’s ups and downs but overall not bad.  It felt a little 10 years ago or what SNL would do if they were trying to make fun of a wrestling shoot but cut the kids some slack.  Oh, by the way, they lost a clean 1-2-3 and retained their titles… Don’t get me started.
5. Cesaro w/ Heyman and #BNB (2&11) – Both should be “Heymen guys” and both should have gold!  I always love to hear Heyman on the mic, even if it is about his geopolitical theories.  Heyman would certainly make “This Week with George Stephanopoulos” much more interesting if he could squeeze in a Sunday morning appearance.  Cesaro walking out on Barrett could be very interesting.  My only concern is that this could be a waste of two hot wrestlers.  On the other hand, pitting two hot wrestlers like Cesaro and Barrett together could be a very enjoyable feud.  Stay tuned.
6. Sheamus and RVD (8&9) – Clearly inspired by his pairing with Sheamus, RVD busted out an outstanding fire red slinglet.  Equally as hot, Sheamus has been very impressive in-ring over the past month.  Suddenly the thought of Sheamus going to join Evolution doesn’t seem that hard to get to.  Yes, Rollins looks like he’s going to take the number three slot but Sheamus is freed from any current storyline to round out Evolution at four members. 
   
7. #1 Lance “Born Ready / The 8th Grader” Stephenson aka Damien Sandow (16) – I love this guy.  He personifies Cheap Heat and is so good at it.  While I love what Sandow is doing week to week, Fred “The Oracle” reminded me of Charlie Haas and his gimmick of taking on different personas each week.  The difference is, Sandow is working each city and Haas did it via various wrestling gimmicks.  These joke gimmicks can’t last forever but Sandow is smart enough to make it last longer than Haas.  Regardless, Sandow needs a more substantial gimmick or feud.  Why not have Cody choose Sandow as Goldust’s partner?  The history is there and I assume everyone would work well together, even if it’s only for a short time until we get Rhodes brother vs brother.
   
   
   
   
8. Stephanie McMahon (6) – The WWE fashion expert giver her a B due to the poor choice of shoe.  A sexy high-heel would have been much better with her summer dress.  On the rattles off exposition ON LIVE TV like very few people can.  It’s so very impressive.  We were promised answers at Payback regarding the WWE Championship but they didn’t just kicked the can again, but punted it to Money in the Bank where Bryan must defend the title against Kane in a stretcher match or relinquish it to the winner of the MitB match.  The best part was when Cena and Stephanie were trading barbs and she was able to turn Cena’s surgical enhancements joke to work for her.  Yes, Stephanie is brilliant but either no one seems to care about what’s going on with the WWE title or no one really cares about Bryan being the champ.  They’ve even got Cena out there basically doing a shoot on his behalf.   
   
9. John Cena (4) – He must be getting a good cut on those towels because he promotes them like they’re the main event at WM.  It made no sense but Cena and Stephanie found themselves at verbal odds standing in the middle of the ring.  They went back and forth and even got “chesty” all in good fun.  Then Kane came out upon Stephanie’s behest and a match started.  Why?  Who knows?  What I do know is that Cena has found a calling in the ability to throw ringside stairs.  Should it be an Olympic event, I’ll put my money on SuperCena.  
10. Ziggler vs ADR (N/A&10) – Great match so why does the WWE wish to punish the fans?  Both these wrestlers should be in the MitB match, not fighting to be in it.  All this match meant was one, probably Ziggler, was going to get the shaft.  Sure enough, Ziggler got the shaft even though by all accounts he should have won the match.  STOP BURYING ZIGGLER!!  Maybe there’s a chance he can still sneak into the MitB match because everyone was distracted by JBL’s soliloquy of ADR’s family lineage.  It took me back to bible studies, Abraham begat Isaac; Isaac begat Jacob; Jacob begat who-the-fuck-cares just announce the match.  Please, more etymology of Machiavellian.  
11. Bo Dallas (17) – I’m all in on being a Bo-liever.  Although I’m afraid the crowd in Indy isn’t too hyped to see him.  The crowd was dead.  Whose idea was it for Bo to try to pull the exact Cheap Heat promo that Sandow did the segment prior?  Very poor booking.  The match was a bit of a mess as well.  Some of the sights and sounds from the crowd… “Bray is better” chant started / funny sign, “Bo-leave” / a “Bo-ring” chant finished the match off.  To top it off, Dallas seemed to botch the finisher.  But after all that, I still Bo-lieve he has a chance.
    
12. Kofi Kingston (N/A) – In what has become a WWE PPV tradition, they’ll re-run the same match back the night after the PPV.  At least with the Network, I haven’t just spent $50 on the PPV only to see the same thing the next night on RAW for free.  It’s still a mystery to why Kane interrupted Kofi and Bo’s match at Payback?  Kofi usually shines whenever he gets a chance to actually wrestle but for reasons beyond me, Kofi and Bo were not on the same page and the match came off poorly.  By the end I was hoping for another Kane interference.  
13. The Big Show (N/A) – Of course Big Show had to put an end to all of Sandow’s fun.  Chris Copeland should be happy because he got more playing time on RAW than he did in the entire playoffs!
14. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb vs Adam Rose (18) – I do agree with putting the Gluten free millennials in jail, so keep up the good fight Zeb.  We were supposed to get this match at Payback.  Instead we get a truncated version on RAW.  Adam Rose is like listening to your friends tell stories about their awesome trip to Las Vegas.  I don’t really care.  Although Rose’s finisher Party Foul was impressive.  Swagger needs a new running mate ASAP.
15. Goldust and ??? (12) – Sin fucking Cara?  This is Cody’s choice to team up with is brother?  What the hell is going on with the WWE?  It’s not that hard to set up a Brother vs Brother match.  IF anything, put Sandow in Cody’s replacement, at least there’s a story and history there.  Maybe Cody just wanted Big E’s seat watching TV backstage?
    
16. Ryb-Axel (N/A) – When the crowd wasn’t chanting “Goldberg” it was so dead you could hear Axel working on his in-ring lines.  We were treated to gems like “Take a look at that.”  Mr. Perfect is spinning in his grave.  This match was in the heart of the last half of the show that was just sloppy and unbearable.  
17. The Demon Kane (N/A) – …what, I’m sorry.  I fell asleep.  “This is that demon…blah, blah, blah”  Really Michael Cole?  Kane must be the demon of sleep?  He’s become the ultimate place holder.  The WWE was blessed that Kane was / is Bryan’s current opponent because of his ability to sit on the sidelines while we wait for WWE to figure out what is going on with the Heavyweight Championship.
18. Diva Match: N-Bella vs Aksana and Alicia Fox (14&HM) – I’m baffled by Alicia Fox.  Her in-ring is as good as any but I’m lost with her post match antics.  The Divas give another example of why it hurts for challengers to get clean wins over champs and how the WWE writers drop the ball on non main event feuds.  Fox beats Paige cleanly a week ago.  Looses to Paige at Payback.  Then on Monday, there’s no sign of Paige nary a mention.  So who’s getting the push?  The champ, Paige, or Alicia Fox?  On top of all this confusion, I can’t even knock N-Bella because she took some big bumps. 
19. Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (14) – I’m usually all in for Lana and Rusev.  Especially after Rusev and Big E put on a very good but quick match at Payback.  The match had a ton of potential.  What does the WWE do with two up and comers who just had a solid match?  Kill all momentum with a ridiculous Russian metal ceremony.  For sure, I thought Big E was going to interrupt this nonsense and continue their feud, but no.  It lasted all the way into the commercial break.  I’ve got to hand it to the Indy fans, they stuck it out and gave a great “This is awful” chant.  No truer words have ever been spoken.  Clearly there was a writer who put this together but it just went on and on and on.  Isn’t there anyone in the back watching the show who can throw themselves into the electrical transformer and blow the power out on the show?  This was the last thing leading into The Shield’s shoot and Rollins’ turn.  If not for the big twist at the end, this would have been the worst hour of wrestling in a few years.
    
20. Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs 3MB w/ Hornswoggle (20) – The feud of the century continues.  Afro-swoggle vs the Chupracabra or should I still to my Game of Throne references and say their “champions” the Mexican Frick & Frack vs 3MB-KCC.  When the match ended and El Torito donned the afro wig, I got flashbacks to young Diego Maradona.   It’s World Cup time so I better bust out my soccer references.
    
    
    
    

Honorable Mentions

Bray Wyatt’s Chair – Bray didn’t make it out of his Last Man Standing match with Cena but his sturdy chair was able to make it to Indy.

Side Note(s)

Why hasn’t any wrestler taken to using Johnny Manziel’s money finger motion?

Great WWE Shop commercial, Find What Fits You.  Say what you will about everything else the WWE does, they always put together great promo / hype packages and commercials for their products. 

Fred, my partner in crime on the WrestleCast, is going to have a field day with me because the announcers specifically said Rowan and Harper’s clean win, now officially puts them in tag title contention.  I completely disagree but to hear us argue, don’t forget to check out the BEARcast later this week.

*Initial version of the opening rant:

Just now, texting back and forth with frequent guest of the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which can be found at www.worldofbear.com and on iTunes) Dustin it gave me the clarity and brevity that I’ve been looking for these past weeks.

One of the biggest arguments that Fred and I get into on the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which again, can be found on iTunes or www.worldofbear.com) is the significance of Champions loosing 1-on-1 sanctioned matches with a clean 1-2-3 but retaining their belt(s).  To give you the quick version, Fred’s cool with it and sees it as a right of passage to getting a championship match but I’m against it because it devalues the champion and the match itself.  At the end of the day, we both make solid cases; enough so that we can fight about it ALL THE TIME.

We both agree on the solution; have a larger roster and creative staff or cut back on the amount of programming needed each week.  Currently, the WWE puts out about 15 to 18 hours of original programing each week.  The WWE isn’t going to cut programming back anytime soon and even if the WWE had the man-power available, it would not be cost effective to have a full time writer and production staff for each wrestler 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. 

Currently, we’re stuck with a lot of “Status Quo” in every storyline.  This is not new within wrestling.  It’s why we have Evolution vs The Shield as the main story on RAW and the PPV but on SmackDown or Main Event we get Rollins vs RKO.  The problem is when there’s no sub-package or additional elements they can throw into a feud and we keep getting the same match over and over again.  This results in the feeling of “Status Quo” because nothing is happening with the characters.  Lately, it is more than just a feeling.

Quick question: What’s the difference between the face Shield today and the heel Shield a year ago?

Answer: NOTHING.

Aside from proving that the three wrestlers are awesome in-ring, their essential characters have not changed at all.  They’ve got the same cool look and give really good shoots about how they’re going to kick their opponent’s ass but other than that, they are the same Hounds of Justice.

I’ve finally cracked why this current run of “Status Quo” with almost every WWE storyline has bothered me!  Watching Game of Thrones last night put everything in perspective.  

Before I get started, I don’t expect every TV show or wrestling feud to be on par with one of, if not the, greatest shows (and books, if you’re into that kind of stuff) ever written.  Stick with me and you’ll see my point.

One of the reasons why Game of Thrones is so great is because there are consequences.  Wins and losses matter.  Stannis Baratheon attacked the Lannisters for the right to sit on the Iron Throne to which he lost at the Battle of Blackwater (for all you non-GoT people, basically Stannis fought Joffrey for title of King of Kings).  The next episode we didn’t have Blackwater II: The Return.  We’re two seasons out and Stannis is still trying to regroup from the loss.  There was a consequence for attacking the champ AND loosing.

Two months ago, The Shield and Evolution started battling.  Great, I like both.  I understood that The Shield was very popular and the WWE wanted to capitalize on that by making them the good guys.  

(Ok, so first problem is just because fans think something is cool, you don’t automatically and blindly make them good guys.  Have some conviction and keep The Shield as heels.  We need good and evil in our stories.  You can always turn characters faces but it’s much harder to turn people into a heel.  Sticking with the GoT example, the Lannisters are heels but sometimes they can come off cool or we cheer for one of them.  When we start rooting for the Lannisters, the writer(s) have the Lannisters do something even more evil to ensure that they stay heels.  I enjoy the Lannisters but I understand they are bad people.  If down the line, the writer(s) want to make one of them a good guy in the story, have he / she do something heroic and they’ll quickly become a good guy / face.)

Never mind, like I said, not everything is Game of Thrones level.  I don’t recall one thing that The Shield has done that would make them heroes?  I believe they didn’t listen to HHH’s orders once and that was how they became good guys.  Since this “betrayal” a few months ago, Evolution was going to teach them a lesson.  There were some back and forth wins on RAW and SmackDown.  At the last PPV The Shield won.  Great.  Feud over, right?  NO.  We’ve had the same matches and premise go on for another month.  Again, last night at the Payback PPV, it was Evolution vs The Shield.  Once again, The Shield won.  It was a really good wrestling match but we’re at the same place we were at two months ago.  There’s been speculation that The Shield would breakup or Evolution would turn on itself.  When the dust settled, there was nothing new or different to move the feud down the line.

The biggest example is what’s happening to Daniel Bryan.  They might be buying him time before he can get back from injury but at some point the fans want know what’s going to happen with the Championship.  

It’s why The Undertaker loosing the streak was so good and will last forever because it was so unexpected.  

SO,

As you can see, the rant is still relevant.  Check out this week’s BEARcast - WrestleCast because there should be fireworks regarding the direction the WWE is going in, or lack there of, and can one desperate moment of excitement save deeper storyline problems?

Until next time…