Coming at you from Washington DC, and we are just days away from one of the more exciting and consistently good PPV, Money in the Bank. The good news is that this Sunday we’re almost assured a new WHC in one MitB match and hopefully another memorable “regular” MitB match. The bad news is trying to understand the story lines leading up to this PPV might just get you committed to a mental hospital or at the very least held on a 51-50. Not even with HHH sitting next to you explaining everything on RAW, which was essentially what his segment was, would you understand what’s going on.
Check out this week’s BEARcast - WrestleCast podcast where we’ll breakdown everything leading up to Money in the Bank. Check out www.worldofbear.com or subscribe on iTunes to listen to the show which will be up later this week. After weeks of complaining that this PPV hasn’t been set up properly, at least we know three of the matches at Money in the Bank. Two MitB-style matches and a Tag Team Championship match. The rest only god and the McMahons know.
Special thanks to my brother-in-law Chris who was at the show and shared all the in-house crowd moments and dark spots not seen on TV. I felt bad for Chris because he didn’t get to experience the endless bombardment that this was episode #1100. Look, I get that the WWE takes great pride in producing a new show each week. I love it too. Every week I’m comforted with the knowledge that no matter what, we get a new episode of RAW. But can we make a deal that we only celebrate milestones every 500 shows? The WWE must realize that if they’re going to pat themselves on the back every 100 shows, then they’re going to be doing this just shy of every two years? Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot who I was talking about. If they felt they could get away with it, we’d be celebrating every 10th episode. Silly me.
Let’s not waste anymore time. There was a lot of good, bad and ugly. The one thing that stuck out was that this week felt more like a 90’s era RAW than anything we’ve seen in the past few years. I can’t wait to get Fred’s take on this week’s WrestleCast (found at www.worldofbear.com) because last week he was so frustrated with the show he was threatening to take a hiatus from watching RAW (BTW, between you and me, this would never happen. On his wall is a picture of his wedding and next to it is a picture of Bret Hart. He’s not missing RAW, we just have to let him vent!)
Lastly, don’t think I’ve abandoned by quadrennial love and obsession with Soccer. I’m still in a fragile state from Sunday night’s tie. As I put it to my soccer loving friend yesterday, one must be a sadist to watch “Football”. The whole game feels like a 90-minute version of sudden death overtime in Hockey, which only gets worse if your team advances to the final round of 16. Even with the devastation of a tie (yes a TIE) we now have to go on to face one of, if not the, best teams in the world. Luckily if they bring the brätwurst and we bring the beer, we could have a 90-minute picnic and both move on to the next round. What a sport? This is why I stick to the scripted stuff. It’s much safer for my emotions. Side note: I wonder if Costco allow me to return my TV which won’t work due to a remote sized hole in the screen? I think it came that way…
So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 6/23/2014…
- Vickie Guerrero (HM) – Vickie is a performer whom I have tremendous respect for. I always felt like she was thrown into the spotlight, possibly more willingly than originally suspected, to support herself and her family after the death of Eddie Guerrero. She never had the looks of a Diva or the skills of a Diva or the youth of a WWE Diva. Those are facts. But Vickie outlasted almost every Diva in the WWE. Sure, do I joke that Vickie knows where the dead bodies (secrets) are that the WWE doesn’t want out and they gave her the opportunity to be employed for the past decade? Yes and I still find it darkly funny. But Vickie held her own and created a spot for herself. We constantly see wrestlers (male and female) complain about not getting chances or the WWE burying them or a million reasons why they didn’t succeed. For every one of them, I give you Vickie Guerrero. She had the deck stacked against her in almost every way but she succeeded and shined in a very harsh and cold business. When she comes back (they always do), I can’t wait to hear that, “Excuse ME!!!!” one more time.
- Stephanie McMahon (10) – Of course the night that Stephanie gets an A-minus from the WWE fashion expert, is the same night she ends up in the mud and gunk of a “crap / vomit match”. This is one of those times where it proves that the McMahon family isn’t just in this business for the money. Whether it’s Vince getting an enema from Stone Cold, Shane launching himself off 20+ foot high scaffolding or Stephanie tossing around in the mud, how many heads of billion dollar companies would subject themselves to humiliation and / or injury like the McMahons do? Clearly they enjoy it. It was obvious that Stephanie was enjoying herself out there which only sells it better and allows the hardcore fan, such as me and my ilk, to give the McMahons a pass on silly stuff like this. Having said that, a WWE retirement party wouldn’t be complete without the proper amount of real life shots. I know Eddie has been dead for 8-9 years and Vickie is over the initial heartache from his death but those where some fairly big bullets coming out of Stephanie’s mouth. You gotta think that Eddie did a spin or two in his grave over some of the comments Stephanie made? Again, I’d be surprised if Vickie didn’t OK everything Stephanie said. That being said, I’ve had to hire and fire people before and I only wish those decisions could be made via a one-on-one match for firing and a MitB match for hirings. I don’t know where OSHA stands on such practices but I want to see more Ladder Matches to see who gets to work the register at McDonald’s.
- #BadNewsBarrett (7) – Had the “Match of the Night” with Ziggler. You can’t say Barrett is getting buried because he is the IC champ but doesn’t it feel like he’s getting buried? He’s not in the WHC MitB match (which Sheamus is in, a fellow mid-card belt holder), he’s not a favorite for winning the traditional MitB match and he’s not really in a feud with anyone. If you’re a glass half full person, you can say that he’s probably closest to being in a feud with Ziggler and that the last two matches they’ve had were great. He’s got the right amount of heat as a heel but also enough support from the fans that he’s extremely hot and a good push will put him in that top tier. Fred and I discussed this last week on the BEARcast - WrestleCast (www.worldofbear.com) where like The Royal Rumble, characters go in without direction because the main even at the PPV is a bit of a mashup but coming out he’s poised to go on a great run which can easily start with some sort of incident at MitB.
- Dolph Ziggler (2) – Ziggler is back from Hollywood FL (instead of Cleveland). Hey, if LeBron can switch from OH to FL as home states, why can’t Ziggler. Chris, my BiL (we’ll have to get him a better nickname), said this was a great match live. Not shocking. What was shocking is that Ziggler might finally be getting out of the doghouse. HHH specifically mentioned that Us fans “think” that the WWE / HHH do not like him. Also, Lawler seems to finally be okay with joking about the heart attack elbows on a weekly basis. As a longtime watcher of wrestling, this tells me that if they’re talking about backstage issues on TV, then it’s not a big deal anymore. You know you’re in trouble when the WWE doesn’t address rumors. As with Barrett, maybe these two don’t have anything seriously going on now but coming out of MitB I’d love to see them in a massive feud for the IC belt. I just don’t know how many teeth Ziggler will have left at the end. I hope that was gum flying out of Ziggler’s mouth when Barrett cracked him!
- Main Event: Bray / ADR / RKO / Cesaro vs Cena / Sheamus / Reigns (various) – As Face vs Heel matches go, this is a pretty good one. If this is the top tier of wrestlers (and you throw Bryan in with the Faces) that’s a quality set of 8 competitors. Hot main event before a PPV, where everyone gets their moves in. Semi shock that Sheamus got the win. AAAAAnd then Kane has to come out. I don’t know why? Instead of The Demon, Kane’s nickname should be The Lost One. He’s constantly being thrown into matches for no reason. Sure, I suppose if you’re going to add Ambrose to the other MitB match, you can add Kane to the WHC match. What does it matter, he’s not winning. With Reigns getting the last word, is he in the driver’s seat to be the new champ? My guess for winner of the WHC match is Reigns or Cesaro. Book it.
- Seth Rollins (3) – Last week he got his own theme music and this week he’s got new gear. Since it seems like RAW was a throwback to the 90’s, it was only appropriate to think that Rollins was dress as one of the other guys in Nine Inch Nails. That or he was an extra from the movie 9mm, a classic Nic Cage vehicle. Even his feud for the night with RVD was very late 90’s / early 00’s. Although Rollins said a wrestler’s famous last words, “I got this!” You have to rank that with “What could go wrong?” or “We’ll have enough gas to make it.” as shit you don’t want to say out loud in a movie, TV show or real life. These are life lessons people, and I’m just giving them to you for free. You’re welcome.
- Rob Van Dam (N/A) – Great shoot. Best RVD shoot in years. RVD! RVD! RVD! It only took 2 months for him to get back in shape. Now that he is, his matches have been solid and he should be exciting to watch in the MitB match. There’s no chance he’s winning but as I’ve mentioned, all the athletic talent is in this second MitB match. I hope I’m not getting my hopes too high but RVD, Kofi, Rollins and Ambrose alone would make an awesome Ladder Match.
- Dean Ambrose (4) – The Wyatt boys weren’t the only ones to get new music, Ambrose got his own new theme at RAW too. The only problem is that both Ambrose and Rollins’ themes sound very generic and so similar to The Shield music. I guess Reigns got The Shield music in the divorce. I was shocked when HHH failed to mention Ambrose as part of the second MitB match. But I forgot, this is wrestling and if you want your 7-man match to be an 8-man match, just snap your fingers and it will become reality. This isn’t a real sporting organizetion like FIFA where the members can be bribed and soccer matches can be “fixed” for gamblers. All this talk of Ambrose being the “wild card” and hubris is always punished, has me thinking that Ambrose will somehow take the victory from Rollins. Ambrose is my favorite to win the traditional MitB match.
- The Usos (9) – No tag team reminds me of a generic 90’s wrestling duo quite like The Usos. Their characters are so flat and boring, thank god they are great wrestlers. Rowan and Harper are terrific opponents for The Usos, much better than Ryb-Axel. Heroes are only as good as their Villains (i.e. Batman is better than Superman) and Rowan and Harper have already made the Usos more dynamic in just the few weeks that they’ve faced off. Based off the their last few matches, I’d have given them a chance to have the match of the night at any other PPV than MitB. I still expect them to have a tremendous match at the PPV.
- Harper and Rowan aka The Wyatt Family (6) – Get used to seeing these two holding those championship belts because I predict they’ll be wearing them officially by next Monday night. With their weird moonshine version of “He’s got the whole world in his hands” the Wyatt’s are taking over. Some people, aka Fred “The Oracle”, speculate that Bray is a favorite to win the WHC match and we could very easily see the entire Wyatt family sporting gold.
- Goldust and Stardust (1) – Add this to my 90’s retro night theory. It’s too bad they didn’t get to wrestle but David Bowie-esque version of When You Wish Upon A Star, that’s all I need. Again, no mention of this gift-from-the-wrestling-gods duo’s role at MitB but let’s assume they’re fighting Ryb-Axel or possibly interfere with the Tag Championship match. It doesn’t matter. I love it. Now all we need is Dusty to dawn a black suit and be EclipseDust. I’ll reiterate from last week, it’s just fucking fun! Give me more.
- Bo Dallas (N/A) – Oh, how I want to know how he got that shiner? Was it a mistake during a match or does someone not know how to listen and “ran into a door” or “slipped down the stairs” like my girlfriend keeps doing? Maybe it’s a sign of solidarity with real life Captain America - Clint Dempsey? Regardless, he’s 9-and-BO! The streak continues. Bo Dallas is hitting on all cylinders. I know mark fans seem to love the character but I wonder if the average / younger fan gets the gimmick. I hope he’s able to carry this a bit longer. The problem is that history has shown these types of ironically positive characters can’t last past an IC or US championship run, except for Kurt Angle. Can Bo Dallas be the next Kurt Angle? That’s a lot to ask. Also, is it too much to ask if he’s going to have a match at the PPV?
- D-Abe-ien Sandow Lincoln (15) – Finally, some quality to this show! He's pulling the city to city heel whistle-stop tour that 3MB should have done before they became 1MB last week. I know it can’t last forever but like Stardust and Goldust, Sandow is fun AND he can wrestle when need be. I’m not ready to demand a Sandow push like I am for Ziggler but I wouldn’t be against it.
- HHH (10) – The Money in the Bank PPV has been so poorly promoted that HHH literally had to come out and clearly explain that there was indeed TWO MitB matches; one for the WHC and the other for the traditional MitB case. Because everything has been throw together, there was no better way to announce the contestants than to just rattle off their names. And who is in the traditional MitB match? Well… just about everyone else on the second tier. Has the run-up to MitB been a mess, yes. Will it matter if the show is good, no. The promotion of this PPV has been horrible but if we get a solid WHC match crowning a new champ and an exciting traditional MitB match (which with the talent that is in the match should be easy) no one is going to remember what a clusterfuck the last month of the WWE story telling has been.
- Rusev and Lana (16) – DC road trip for the Kremlin’s favorite couple. I loved the background folk, especially the black guy with the beer-belly, wandering around during their film-shoot in front of Congress. The production could not have consisted of more than just Rusev, Lana, a cameraman and maybe a writer / producer. Imagine tourists walking by listening to these two rip America in what would look like a homemade terrorist movie shoot. I can’t help but think, as soon as they were done, they had to quickly drop the fake accents and explain that they’re with the WWE and this is all just a joke.
- Big E (N/A) – Big E needs a rematch against Rusev. They need to feud. Their match was surprisingly one of the better matches from the last PPV but then there was no followup. Besides, we need someone to come out as America’s savior. I don’t know if he needed to go all Reverend Brown from Coming to America on us but whatever. As long as we get the Rusev vs Big E match, I’m happy. By the way, another assumption because god forbid they let us know if this match is on the MitB card?
- Kofi Kingston (N/A) – Who cares. I can’t wait to see what Kofi pulls off at MitB. Too bad he’s not winning it.
- Swagger w/ Zeb (N/A) – Who cares, part 2.
- Titus O’Neil (N/A) – I’m not surprised that a semi-talented wrestler is jobbing to all the newbies but I’m a bit shocked that it’s Titus doing the jobbin’. First to Adam Rose and now to Bo Dallas. For sure it was going to be yet another punishment for Ziggler to have to suffer through but Titus is different. He was the one that should be getting the push. Does this mean the WWE thinks highly enough of Titus to have him sell his looses to the new arrivals? Will we finally get to see the Titus vs Darren “Every night off” Young feud that we should have had when the Primetime Players broke up?
- Alicia Fox vs Naomi (N/A) – I’ve got to agree with Fred about the Funkadactyls still being a thing when Brotus Clay has now been fired. It’s a bit odd and unnecessary other than to play their music. Without the Funkasaurus, the bit should go extinct (see what I did there). I was excited to get Alicia Fox vs the more talented of the ‘Dactyls but it was too bad that we were distracted by the awful commentary bit. They didn’t even pay it off by having the ‘Dactyls fight at the end. I suppose they’re saving that breakup for the PPV. I don’t know if their breakup will be as heavy as The Shield’s recent split but I’m sure it will be close. No? No one is going to care?
Honorable Mentions
Daniel Bryan – They couldn’t find him to bring the belts to the WWE but they’re able to bring him to the pre-show of the PPV? At this point I’d rather just let him heal and make a surprise out of his return than to drag him and us along with whatever nonsense he’ll be performing during the pre-show. The WWE’s chance to do his story correctly has passed and we’ve moved on. Let him return with some flare and dignity.
Paige and Cameron – This had to be the worse segment of the night. What should have been solid match between Alicia Fox vs Naomi, somehow got turned into the Cameron show which no one wants to watch. Cameron better watch what she wishes for. She won’t like the ending but it will be good “reality” TV to see Cameron being “let go” on Total Divas next season.
Side Note(s)
It was funny when Barrett took a shot at Washington’s racist named football team (the Redskins) and my brother-in-law texted me that it sent the crowd wild but was a low hanging fruit. I had to laugh. Not because it’s beneath the WWE to hit a city below the belt for some heel heat but the fact that the announcers had to do a lot of explaining to the home audience to frame what Barrett was talking about. I’m just surprised that Vince didn’t take it further and say something like, “The XFL never had a team called the Blackskins!” They may forgive but Vincent K McMahon and family never forget. I love seeing the WWE take shots at the NFL even if no one under 20 or into other sports will remember and / or know the reason why. A little history lesson kids; for one week 2001 the XFL had the NFL shaking in it’s boots. Obviously the XFL didn’t take off and only had a short run but the effects and some of the innovations can still be seen in the NFL today. We’ll have to do a retrospect on the XFL one day…
Until next time…
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