Coming at you from Minneapolis, and I’m getting a bit of a late start after watching my beloved Kings face off against the dastardly Blueshirts from NYC. By “beloved” I mean, now that they’re up 2-0 in the Stanley Cup playoffs, I’ll watch every game. Until two weeks ago, I couldn’t name five players but now I’m a hockey expert. There’s also a Dodger game on ESPN, second in the past week, which are my first two games that I’ve been able to watch this season because Time-fucking-Warner and DirecTV can’t get their 8 billion dollar shit together. AND it’s the beginning of the World Cup. I have to learn about the 32 teams so I can pretend to know what’s going on. Very busy.
Last week on RAW, we got one of the more surprising “heel turns” in a long while. Two fascinating sentiments that I noticed was; 1) Everyone seemed to like that it was Rollins who turned and 2) No one has any clue what the fallout from this turn is going to be. Both points are reasons to congratulate the WWE on a job well done.
On last week’s BEARcast - WrestleCast (found on iTunes or www.worldofbear.com) Fred and I debated over the quality of the wrestling stories being told, company wide, and if one surprising twist in the main feud should coverup for the failures throughout the rest of the roster. While it’s a valid question, it’s a new week and time (and story) marches on. We shall see what the WWE has in store for us. Strip away all the praise, complaints and speculation, we all want to see what’s going to happen with Bray, Cena, Goldust and Cody, this new Evolution, the remaining Shield members and even to some extent Daniel Bryan and the WHC. Not to mention Sheamus is putting on good matches, The Usos vs The Wyatt Family continue to entertain, Barrett vs Cesaro could be epic, Rusev vs Big E part 2 would be awesome, can Bo Dallas continue to impress or enrage (depending on if you’re a bo-liever or not) and list goes on. All of this means the WWE has done the one job inherent to running a wrestling promotion, or any type of entertainment structure, “Keep the audience coming back for more.”
The only way the WWE could drop the ball is if they “kick the can” on everything (as they’ve done with Bryan for the past month-plus) and use this week’s RAW as a mechanism to buy time on all story lines until Money in the Bank. The audience needs some answers tonight.
So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 6/09/2014…
- Seth Rollins (2) – He pimped a black on black suit. Nuff said. Perfection. There’s only three reasons to wear all black; 1) you’re accepting an award on BET, 2) you’re going to a funeral, or 3) you just pulled off a dope ass heel turn. He may sound like Marc Maron but there was nothing funny about his shoot (some might say there’s nothing funny about Maron as well, but that’s for another time). Seriously, who’d have thought a year ago that Rollins could be the centerpiece of a shocking turn and be able to pull off the mic work necessary to make it work? Excellent work Mr. Rollins. BTW, my gut tells me this is a work by The Shield. I want it on record now just in case. Assuming this turn is real and long lasting, what’s the future for Rollins? With a little work, could he be CM Punk 2.0? Lastly, if you’re going to promote a Rollins / Ziggler match on Main Event, I might have to tune in!
- The Shield minus Rollins (2) – What a great shoot. It will be forgotten in a week but it was exactly on point and what Ambrose and Reigns needed. It also gave me, and my crazy conspiracy loving mind, a few drips of an ultimate Shield double-cross. That’s the Ambrose that we’ve all been waiting for. We forget, he’s was the initial 5-tool player (if I can steal a baseball term) of The Shield. Reigns was great too. 2/3 of The Shield is better than 95% of the other wrestlers. The brilliance of the Rollins turn was that it automatically put him in the spotlight AND gave Reigns the ability to be a WHC face and give Ambrose a chance to shine.
- The Wyatt Family (3) – Bray is back. Who cares about the why’s and how’s regarding him being gone last week. Why bother with details like that? The WWE can get away with it because Bray is so hot right now. The crowd loves him. As they should. But let’s not forget to throw some dap towards Harper who has quietly been improving each week. Harper’s fireman’s neck breaker would have ended anyone other than SuperCena. I can’t even complain about Rowan because he’s been raising his game too. Since we’re not likely to get any more classic Shield / Wyatt matches, what’s next? I’m fine with Rowan and Harper vs The Usos or a depleted Shield. Maybe we can all pray to the Yellow King that Rowan and Harper can destroy Ryb-Axel before that train gets too far down the track. As the great Eminem would say, “Forgot about Bray?” Is he thrown in the MitB WHC match? Do we see round 4 of Bray / Cena? What’s next for the super hot Bray Wyatt?
- John Cena (9) – Even the harshest Cena haters would have to admit that Cena / Shield vs Wyatts was going to be a good match. I would have been my last dollar Cena was going to be Ambrose and Reigns partner. The match was excellent but does this mean we’re getting more Cena / Bray? Payback should have been the end. Would it surprise anyone if both Cena and Bray were in the MitB WHC match? Would it surprise anyone if both were not in the match but still had another gimmick match? I’m telling you, this is going until SummerSlam. Someone, please prove me wrong.
- HHH and Stephanie McMahon (1&8) – Who better to open the show? When you pull off a major turn, why not revel in it’s success. It’s been a few weeks since HHH and Stephanie were able to do a full tag team promo together. You forget how well they work together. Yes, I know they’re married but I know a ton of married couples who I don’t want to get stuck in the same car with, let alone listen to them deliver wrestling plot exposition. They started off extremely strong. They laid the foundation for various Daniel Bryan possibilities. This Dr. Maroon seemed about as credible as the prescription marijuana doctors here in L.A. Under that desk were Tommy Bahama shorts and Birkenstocks, guaranteed. Did you notice how he said, “Bryan will be reevaluated in the coming weeks.” while HHH and Stephanie kept insisting on Bryan not being at MitB? My spidey-sense is tingling. The part that HHH and Stephanie dropped the ball on was the explanation of what is going to happen at MitB. I’ve watch the whole show twice and I'm still not clear if there is just one MitB match whose winner gets the WHC or if there’s going to be two matches, a MitB match and then a Ladder Match for the WHC? Their promo got back on track once they refocused on Shield, Evolution and The Wyatt Family. HHH’s declaration of, “I believe in Seth Rollins.” was a great way to set up two possibilities. Either Rollins goes on a becomes a major player with a boost from joining Evolution or Rollins (and the rest of The Shield) are playing the long game and will out cerebralize the cerebral assassin. What? I can’t be the only person who thinks The Shield might pulling a grand switch-a-roo. And lest anyone think I forgot to evaluate Stephanie, the WWE fashion expert gives her a B-plus for last night’s outfit. You can’t go wrong in all black with some nice heels. I know “cutouts” are big but I say go big and bold with them or none at all.
- Randy Orton (1) – Can anyone recall when a top 5 talent like RKO just quietly sat in the way way back of the WWE station wagon for the past six months and you hear nary a complaint? Why would he complain? He’s coming off well (for the most part), he’s kept his heel status strong and he’s being tossed into WHC main events at MitB without having to lift a finger. His Instagram pic, chillin’ by the pool, was great. After MitB I’d love for RKO to go against a Cesaro or Barrett so he can show off some of his in-ring skills that we’ve been missing for the past few months. God forbid a RKO / Ziggler match, cause why give the fans something enjoyable to watch.
- #BNB (5) – Just like last week where BOTH Ziggler and ADR should be in the MitB match, BOTH Sheamus and Barrett should be in the MitB match. Instead, Sheamus gets the win and Barrett is left who his next opponent will be. Luckily Barrett is IC champ so they can’t bury him like they do Ziggler. I was expecting some sort of run in from Cesaro to continue their squabble from last week. That didn’t happen and Sheamus still got the clean victory over Barrett. To make matters worse, Cesaro is in the MitB match so what is there for Barrett to do? Maybe he’s taking a month off to be the WWE’s World Cup correspondent in Brazil? He could take the JBL & Cole show on the road and do reports from Brazil’s world famous beaches, whorehouses and soccer stadiums.
- Cesaro w/ advocate Heyman (5) – Heyman was great. A blind man could where his shoot was going but he still delivers. He’s able to switch Lesnar into Cesaro in less time than a whore can put on a condom, or so I’m told. Cesaro’s win puts him into the MitB match. While it would be nice to have Cesaro vs #BNB, Cesaro is the odds on favorite for winning the MitB match.
- Sheamus (6) – Sheamus had another really good match and win vs Barrett. It’s no secret that Sheamus has the same appeal to me as a finely cooked haggis but to my shock he’s been really good in-ring of late. The issue is that he hasn’t found his role with the audience yet. If he’s a face, who’s his heel opponent? If he’s going to turn heel (which I’d advocate for) than who’s his face opponent? He’s a bit stuck. He’s in the MitB match. It would be cool to see someone wear all that gold at once, both WHC belts and the US strap.
- The Usos (4) – Who is next for The Usos? Ryb-Axel? The Wyatts? Remind me, wasn’t it just a few months ago that we were saying how stacked the tag team division was? What happened?
- Bo Dallas (17) – Special shout out to Daniel Bryan’s recovery. I’m sure equal doses of HGH and bo-lief will get him back on his feet in no time. Dallas must do 2 things before going to the ring, shower with his close on and puts vaseline on his teeth like MissUSA so he can constantly smile. He’s the only man who’s less wet after the match than prior. How great was his 6-and-0 celebration!!! An accomplishment and streak that will go down in at the annals of history.
- Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (19) – When I saw the Obama workout video over the weekend, it was a lock that Lana was going to use it on her next promo. Lana killed her opening. Much better than last week’s horrific medal ceremony. I’m still not sold on the accolade hammerlock but it is amazing to see Rusev switch from brute to being able to pull off a very athletic super-kick. My only question is, for the second week in a row, where’s Big E? They had a great match at Payback and I want more. No offense to Zack Ryder but I’m taking Big E over Ryder any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
- Rob Van Dam (6) – He’s back in shape and putting on quality RAW matches. I don’t know how much longer RVD plans to work, or at least work a limited schedule, but I hope before RVD retires, he and Heyman can go on one last run together. It would be the fitting and final nod to the greatness of ECW.
- Paige (N/A) – Back from a week off and what’s her first piece of business? A rematch with Alicia Fox! I’m a fan of both Alicia Fox and Paige and think very highly of their wrestling skills. What I don’t understand is that they now have the female wrestlers to put on variety of good matches. I just watched Nattie vs Charlotte (Ric Flair’s daughter) and it was great. Emma can wrestle. Even Summer Rae has shown skill during her few true wrestling matches. Let some of these other talents air. I’d much rather watch Emma vs Paige than any Ryb-Axel match. Besides, how quickly does a feud fade if one side keeps winning. Paige has won all but once against Fox. We need the variety. It’s not like back in the day when there was ONLY Trish vs Lita.
- Alicia Fox w/ Aksana (18) – Fox’s wrestling is fine. I won’t waste time complaining that a rivalry is when both sides win, not just Paige winning week after week (sans the one week, I know) or waste finger strokes complaining the WWE needs to mix up the one Divas slot and allow for more than just the same two wrestlers. I won’t even bitch about Alicia’s post match antics, which I don’t understand and was done with three weeks ago. What really sent me up a wall was having to sit through all the “marriage advice” The King and the rest of the announce crew deemed necessary for me to sit through. The King Lawler once quit his job in protest of his wife being fired from the WWE, only to divorce her a few months later. Tomorrow I have scheduled free throw lessons from DeAndre Jordan and later this week I’m taking financial planning advice from Bernie Madoff. Can these guys shut up and sell the wrestling matches? It makes me long for the days when they explained how to download the WWE App.
- Goldust and ???? (15) – This week’s parter is R-Truth. Cody, once again gets the coveted TV watching spot. There was a few minutes that Goldust destroyed Ryb-Axel. DESTROYED. Goldust is damn near 50 years old. He doesn’t need to be loosing to Ryb-Axel. We should have respect for our elders. Yet, Cody has an idea. Who is this person who’s going to magnify Goldust’s brilliance? Is it that hard to figure out the Brother vs Brother feud? What’s with all this bullshit?
- Swagger w/ Zeb vs SAN-TIN-OOOOOO (14&N/A) – Zeb slaps are like Gamma radiation to Swagger’s Hulk. After getting juiced up on Zeb slaps, Swagger pulled a great gut-wrench power bomb. The Real Americans could still have some run in them but they must find another member ASAP. Meanwhile, if there’s anyone who can save us from Zeb and all the bigots of the world, it’s Santino, hero to the people. If Santino can’t stop Zeb and Swagger, no one else can. Clearly Swagger is set on a run for the WHC.
- Ryb-Axel (16) – When Ryb-Axel gets the cheap win, you know things are not going your way. This is one of those wins you’ll see added to the list of achievements when Ryb-Axel become the champions. Just do it now. Make them the champs so we can get it over with. The sooner they become the champs, the sooner the loose the belts back to The Usos.
- Xavier Woods (N/A) – X-dub seems to be able to grow hair like a chia pet. He’s raw and his gimmick sucks. He looks like Sideshow Bob with a beard. He’s the solution, cut the hair, keep the beard (because it actually makes him look hard) and still keep the basics of his gimmick that he’s a well educated man. God forbid the WWE play against stereotype and have a menacing black man be the smartest guy in the room. But then again, the WWE is getting competition from ABC’s Black-ish for most racist show on TV and you don’t want to drop a title like that so keep letting Xavier Woods look like a fool. The WWE will not loose the racial insensitivity trophy without a fight!
- Fandango w/ beaten down Layla & Damien “White Swan” Sandow (N/A&7) – Sandow’s got gigantic balls for all the world to see. Make fun of him all you want but the crowd was still chanting, “Let’s go Sandow!” I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when the idea was pitched to Sandow. To his credit, he’s taken each of these potential disastrous gimmicks and has made the most out of them. Fandango on the other hand, well…not so much. Sandow is great, they just need to find a story for him. Fandango is stuck in this Dancing with the Stars / Fatal Attraction gimmick that has nowhere to go. Fred mentioned this on the BEARcast - WrestleCast (found on www.worldofbear.com and iTunes), Fandango is a perfect example of someone going down to NXT to tweak or rework their gimmick and come back in six months. Now is the time since Total Divas is off the air and if he’s still paired up with Summer Rae, you’ll want them back when the next season of Total Divas returns.
Honorable Mentions
3MB – 3 Tomato Cans for the remaining two members of The Shield to destroy and remind us all that 2/3 of The Shield are better than most. Keep Cashing Check, boys. At least you weren’t involved in any midget matches or gored in the crotch by a mini-bull this week.
Vickie Guerrero – It’s always nice to see Vickie. Not only does she do whatever they tell her to but it’s good to see that she still knows where Vince has the dead bodies hidden and they can’t fire her, yet.
Kevin Hart – If you thought Hart could get anymore airtime, think again. Big coup for the WWE to get Hart. He should be able to have some fun with whomever they put him with. I’ll go out on a limb and say he and Big Show will be thrown together. I’ll go even further and say we’ll be seeing Hart riding Big Show like a wooly mammoth from Game of Thrones.
Zack Ryder – Not only did this poor bastard have to sit through the Lana / Rusev opening, but you knew he was going to get crushed. It’s called “the pine” Ryder, you should be used to sitting on it by now.
Side Note(s)
There were at least three (3) wrestlers watching TVs backstage this week. Maybe I notice it more now that it’s on my radar but this must end. Yet another sign of lazy writing. Once is understandable. A wrestler wants to check out his / her opponent, such as Big E watching the IC tournament a few weeks ago. Now it seems like if there’s ever a wrestler involved in a story but not in the ring, they’re watching the TV. I haven’t yet pinpointed the reason this bothers me so much but it does. Here’s a great idea, during RAW, have a camera on the backstage TV and on the app we can watch the other wrestlers watching the action in the ring?! It’s breaking the fifth wall of reality. Mind = Blown!
Here’s a special shot for my boy Doron…
Until next time…
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