WWE Power Rankings, RAW 2/10/2014

Coming at you from The City of Angels, there’s a special anticipation when the WWE comes to your hometown.  With “boots on the ground” I hope to get some juicy tidbits of behind the scenes and true crowd reactions relayed to me tonight.  You may ask, “Why not go yourself and find out first person?”  Well, it was offered but in Los Angeles we don’t measure travel in distance, rather, in time.  To get to the 5 pm show at Staples Center, I would have had to give myself 2 hours to fight through traffic and across town at rush hour.  Although I love Los Angeles and was born and raised here, there’s nothing I hate more than sitting in traffic.  I’m either an enraged maniac screaming at other drivers or falling asleep behind the wheel to the gentle rocking of starting and stopping along the 101 FWY.  Instead, I’m curled up on my couch, with Byrd the Cat sitting next to me and ready to watch my fellow Angelenos scream their heads off.

Random pic from outside the Staples Center

Shows that are located in major cities always seem to bring out the big stars and tonight is no different.  The promise of Betty White has all the wrestling world a buzz with anticipation.  No?  Someone has to take Mae Young’s spot and get Batista-bombed through a table.  No?  The WWE doesn’t do that type of thing anymore?  What a shame.  Let me guess that there will be at least one, possibly two, spots where old-ass-Betty-White will make out with or infer sexual intercourse with a wrestler (male or female) because in the PG television world that’s funny and acceptable.  But the slightest bit of blood, the utterance of “crap” or “suck it” or even a minuscule flash of sexuality from the women (or the men), who are at the peak of human fitness, are totally censored.  Let’s not go down this puritanical rabbit hole.  Let’s just enjoy the last remaining Golden Girl do whatever it is she’s gonna do.  Pre-emptive ‘side note’ - In the WWE’s “second home” and in the land of 1,000 stars, Betty White is the best they could do???  She must do wonders for that 18-34 year-old demographic?  

Anyway, there are so many rumors of people quitting (Punk and ADR), people signing (Sting and Hogan) and people returning (Undertaker) that I don’t know what to believe or where to begin.  As usual, I try not include “rumors” because this is a ranking of the actual events and what years of astute analysis directs me to believe.  Even though WM30 is quickly approaching, we still have the Elimination Chamber to get to.  Aside from the actual EC match, the rest of the card has some intriguing match ups.  Tops on the list would be The Shield vs The Wyatt Family.  Here’s where perception and years of wrestling storytelling (not rumors) would lead me to believe that somehow during the Shield / Wyatt match, something will split up The Shield which will lead to a 3-way match at WM30.  In the end, who knows.  This is a very tumultuous time for the WWE.  With top talents like Punk and Cena possibly being out, this is a huge opportunity for all the young or buried Superstars to show us what they’ve got and prove that they deserve the pushes they’ve been bitching about NOT getting.  Tonight should be fun.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 2/10/2014…

(Warning, this was not a great show and some of the rankings might seem high but I assure you, it’s only due to default.  Such as, how do I rank Ziggler above ADR who beat him and then Batista who beat ADR.  There’s a method to this madness and it doesn’t always make sense to me either.) 

1. The Wyatt Family (2) – Following their ancient ancestors, the Beverly Hillbillies, The Wyatts emerged from the swamp and slithered towards the bright lights of Hollywood.  They’re not the most technical wrestlers.  They aren’t always smooth.  But they do kick ass, especially Bray.  Rowan and Harper make up for their lack of fineness with sheer brutality.  Bray, who’s the star of the family, has the skill and the power as seen when he was able to grab a running Rey and put him into a “Sister Abigail” to finish the match.  The Wyatt Family vs Shield match could not come soon enough.  Lastly, could this be the new face of the WWE?
   
   
   
   
2. The Shield (1) – Just when I’m emotionally ready for The Shield to break up, they put on a great promo.  I love them when they’re fighting opponents and I love them when they’re fighting amongst themselves.  They’re the dysfunctional set of brothers that can’t stand each other but if you pick on one, you have to fight them all.  No.  NO.  I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want them to break up!  Some will say Ambrose did horribly against Henry, but I’ll retort with WHO CARES!  We’re getting Shield vs Wyatt Family.  You can’t bring down my high with a sub par match with Henry.  Ambrose is a fraction of Henry’s size.  Some guys you just can’t put on five star matches with.  Not even HBK or Hart would be able to do too much against Henry.  When you can’t lift your opponent in a wrestling match, you're at a distinct disadvantage. Thank god for the Rollins and Reigns for breaking up that match.  The best part of the match was watching Reigns and Rollins laugh at Ambrose when you see big ass Mark Henry coming down to challenge for the US strap.  Oh, and in case HHH and Stephanie weren’t watching, THAT’S HOW YOUR CHAMPION RETAINS THE BELT WHILE LOSING.  Some classic interference gave Henry the win but protected Ambrose from loosing the belt.  Ambrose pulled off the classic, “I’m going to kill whomever comes out” to “OMG” to “I’m going to get my ass kicked” looks.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. The Usos (N/A) – Back from a short absence from RAW, and I really do try not to curse but great fucking match!  If there was any doubt that the Usos should be the next tag champs, they put those doubts to rest with a fantastic match.  They carried and pulled Ryb-Axel into a highflying, fast paced match.  It seems like the WWE is going to want to push the Usos finally winning the tag straps until WM30 but do we really want to wait another month and a half for that to happen?  Can we?
4. Goldust / Cody Rhodes / Rey Mysterio (6/9) – I feel bad for Goldust because he’s got to pick up the slack for Cody, who legitimately hurt his knee last week, and they both had the job of hiding Rey Mysterio from any prolonged action.  The Gold One, the oldest member of this team, had to do the heavy lifting.  I will give Rey and Cody some credit, when they were involved, they gave 100%.  You can do this on RAW, when time is limited, that’s fine.  I only worry when they’re in a lengthy match on a PPV.  Cody should be fine once he heals.  It’s Rey that is now just a role player tagging in to do his “hits.”  The WWE needs to hide him in a multi-man matchup so he doesn’t have to work more than a few minutes.
5. Randy Orton (4) – RKO’s brain looked to be trying to escape his skull.  Maybe RKO was giving his best audition for local Los Angeles casting directors with his opening shoot and his brain couldn’t handle it?  Either way, I was worried RKO’s head was going to split open without even getting pretend-hit.  Cena built this main event as the closing chapter to the Ten Year War between Cena and RKO?  The premise is totally absurd which I’ll touch on in Cena’s section.  The fact is RKO is by far the superior wrestler.  That’s not breaking news but everything RKO does seems so easy and fluid while Cena looks like every move is a labor of love and takes all his strength (and the moves aren’t that good).  RKO heel status and general attitude doesn’t win him any favor with the crowd but hard core marks can see that RKO faults don’t lie with his wrestling techniques.  As a RKO fan, can we agree to get rid of this deranged viper bullshit?  I like the nickname but when in the last two years has slamming his fists on the ground resulted in a successful RKO stunner?  Do I have to even bore you with my thoughts on RKO loosing the match clean only to keep the belt?  See last week’s post and every other time this has happened.  Hell, look at HHH / Stephanie’s rank to catch a glimpse.  This practice must stop.  It’s like the abortion debate.  I thought laws were passed years ago and when you loose a clean decision than you loose your belt but I guess we just have to keep debating it over and over again.  
   
6. Daniel Bryan (3) – I’d hate to throw water on the Daniel Bryan fire but doesn’t it seem like he’s pulling double duty?  It seems he’s working his own Bryan shoot and combining that with what CM Punk would have been doing?  Bryan’s “me against the world” was going to be hard enough but I hope the WWE is trying to put to much onto Bryan’s shoulders.  Bryan going after the Championship belt and RKO is one thing, but when he starts shooting on HHH and Stephanie about their “performance appraisal” it sounds like the type of shoot Punk would be doing.  Crossing the line from being the scrappy underdog to the arrogant antihero that everyone loves, which is Punk’s sweet spot, is not something that should be done frivolously.  If it was so easy, everyone would be doing it.  Let’s hope that the WWE isn’t putting too much onto Bryan’s shoulders, or he will fail, and let’s hope Bryan isn’t trying to take on too much, his road is already hard enough.
   
7. John Cena (N/A) – Once again, Cena proves who the real “Face of the WWE” is.  No one  shills for the company like Cena.  He worked in the WWE Network, threw a subtle jab at Punk about how this is a great time for “new Superstars” to make their name / step up and he set the tone for his match against RKO.  Speaking of which, what the hell was Cena droning on about this one match tonight (a random RAW on February 10, 2014) being the culmination of the past 10 years of feuding with RKO?  It wasn’t RKO who said any of this.  Did he forget that in two weeks he’s going to be in an EC match for the Championship against RKO?  Does the WWE really think this is the end of Cena vs RKO matches?  This match was going to “Close the rivalry?!”  Who’s smoking crack in the back?  To top it off, Cena got the clean win over the champion (don’t get me started).  Getting the clean win but not winning the championship was going to end to their rivalry?  Cena is scheduled to be at EC and presumably in a top stop at WM30 so what is going on?  Maybe after WM30 Cena plans on a prolonged vacation or rehab to get well from all his various reported injuries?  That might make sense with all his ‘come on new guys, here’s your chance to step up’ act.     
   
8. HHH and Stephanie (14) – First thought, Stephanie looks damn good tonight.  Not to bring another old bitch into the world of wrestling but I’m a frequent watcher of Joan Rivers and her fashion critique shows which by osmosis makes me an expert on women’s fashion.  For someone as rich and has the resources that Stephanie has, I’m surprised at how poorly she’s dressed most nights.  Tonight, I’ve got to give Stephanie a wardrobe tip-o-the-hat. But if I can steal from The Colbert Report, a “wag of the finger” to once again having RKO loose cleanly but not loose his Championship.  I get it now, this is part of the build up to EC and that RKO is going to loose (or come close to loosing) to all five of his opponents before the EC match.  My brain can understand the story but I can’t wrap my head around the purpose of this?  So the WWE would have me believe that RKO will loose to all of his opponents but be victorious in an EC match which would allow him to the “the face of the WWE” and defend his title against Batista at WM30?  If you wanted RKO to battle through some weird crucible to prove his worth, isn’t there a better way of doing it?  Even if RKO wins the EC match, won’t it feel less valid because he might have won a gimmick match at a PPV but in one-on-one match ups he’s lost?  Well, HHH and Stephanie, you’re the puppet masters so I’ll leave it in your hands to pull this one out and give us a satisfying result.
   
9. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Colter (15) – I can’t believe that in Los Angeles, a “We The People” chant started to take place.  Not once but multiple times?  LA isn’t exactly a hotbed for the Tea Party movement.  While the LA crowd let me down with it’s persistent support for The Real Americans, I was happy to see that Cesaro was getting a good pop from the audience.  There are three plots going on with The Real Americans that should be pointed out but they’re really just rhetorical statements.  1) Slowly, The Real Americans have shown a great deal of tag team maneuvers and a good in-ring relationship.  If only the gimmick wasn’t so stupid, they’d be on the short list of tag teams I’d want to see hold the belts.  (Maybe having heel tag champs under the age of 50 might be a good thing?) 2) Its nice to see Cesaro getting a push for the championship.  He’s going to get his singles match with RKO and the EC match which we’ll see just how much of a push he’s going to get because it would seem odd that a tag team that is working would split when the rest of the tag teams (other than the Usos) are all experiencing turmoil or involved in plots other than tag team wrestling.  3) Where are we going with the Zeb / Swagger thing?  Even now it barely passes as a story so what’s the end game if The Real Americans are left being just Zeb and Swagger?
10. Sheamus and Christian (7/8) – If you’re looking for what NOT to do in a backstage promo, it’s to try and make a joke out of a premise of a joke that wasn’t funny to begin with, as Sheamus tried to do.  You’d have thought Sheamus and Christian could team up for a solid tag match against the Real Americans.  Instead of highlighting Sheamus and Christian, The Real Americans stole the match as far as pure wrestling.  Sheamus had a good kick at the end and Christian put in fine work but nothing I will remember.  If you went by crowd reaction, Sheamus should be headed for a heel turn.  I’m surprised that there was such a big reaction.  Personally, I haven’t seen enough to move the Sheamus needle either way.  Good or bad, at this point I don’t know nor care.  
11. Batista (11) – This is the first time we’ve seen Batista in full wrestling regalia on RAW.  Did we need it?  No.  Did anyone clamor for it?  No.  We were served a taste of how badly ADR is going to get killed at EC.  Quick Side Note, if a wrestler’s ambition is to throw his opponent through a table for maximum damage, then why take off all the mice and TelePrompTers before using the table as a weapon?  I mean, who cares if your opponents cracks his head on an iPad and clearly the wrestlers don’t care about damaging the equipment since they just throw it to the side?  There seems to be a lot of care taken over something that’s just going to be destroyed.  Let’s get back to the regularly scheduled Power Rankings. 
    
12. Alberto Del Rio (12) – I feel sorry for ADR.  He’s an under appreciated wrestler and was always so close to being a mega star.  I’d love nothing more than to see him kick the crap out of Batista but with the rumors of ADR leaving soon and no evidence that the WWE has any plans for him in the long run, it feels like this is huge shoot to put Batista over.  For the past month, ADR has gone after Batista and each time he’s gotten his ass kicked.  There’s nothing that would make me believe that this will change at EC where I expect ADR to put on a better fight but still get crushed by Batista in the end. 
13. Dolph Ziggler (13) – “How’s your heart King?” says JBL… For those unaware, it’s been said, by Lawler himself, that Ziggler’s multiple elbow drops are what caused his on air heart attack.  I just had to point that out.  Now, let’s just sit back and watch two great wrestlers go at it, Ziggler and ADR…(pause)…wait, what?  That’s it?  Between ADR and Ziggler, you’ve got two wrestlers that could put on the “match of the night” but instead we get a few faint seconds before a Batista run in?  For god’s sake!  This is why I don’t truly believe the talk and bluster of HHH / Stephanie about this being a chance for wrestlers to stand out.  No one deserves a push more and there’s few that garner fan support more than The Showoff, Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler / Bryan in a RAW 15 minute main event.  Done.  Who’s not watching that?  Give me that, then I’ll believe that the WWE is letter wrestlers who deserve a push get one.
14. The New Age Outlaws (5) – Here’s a good betting line for all you gamblers out there, the combined age of the NAO and Ms. White is over / under 200 years old?  After unsuccessfully trying to rufi Betty White (BTW what was the reason for that?) we were graced with a fart and diarrhea skit by Billy Gunn ringside.  Again, what was the purpose of this?  I understand that these are two old guys and they don’t want to wrestle night after night, nor should they.  Also, I’m not a humorless bastard.  Nothing that the NAO did was funny and I can’t see how it played out to the live crowd because they couldn’t hear the horrible set up for why Billy was pooping in his pants.  Let’s just move on and pretend this didn’t happen.  I doubt they’ll be playing this clip during the NAO retrospective.
    
15. Mark Henry (N/A) – Returning from a little time off, Henry steps up to fight Ambrose for the US Championship.  I’m in no position to call out anyone one their workout routine but it seemed as maybe Henry wasn’t focused on lifting weights or hitting some cardio these past few weeks.  In his defense, he’s a hard man to work with.  By all accounts he’s one of the nicest guys in the WWE but he’s notorious for being one of the stiffest wrestlers as well.  Not exactly fun time for someone like Ambrose, whose a third of his size.  Now that he’s back, with no plot or feud, maybe we can start talking The Nation 2.0?
16. SAN-TIN-OOOOOOO w/ Emma (17) – Does Emma realize the incredible push she’s getting by teaming up with the Great and Powerful Santino?  Strip all the goofiness away, you’ll find one of the best performers in the WWE.  Some of you will disregard this entire blog by reading that but it’s true.  Watch Santino wrestle.  Not with his gimmicks and not in some goofy dance off or having his snake charmed, but in a real wrestling match.  He’s really good.  There’s an old school charm to his style.  Serious but with a little tongue-in-cheek.  His matches flow and are rarely dull.  On top of that, he’s never broken the Santino character and he does whatever is asked of him while having such confidence.  Everyone has their irrational favorite, Santino is mine. 
    
17. Fandango w/ Summer Rae (18) – For all the ridiculousness of Fandango’s gimmick, his in-ring abilities are solid.  He and Summer aren’t going to get buried due to Total Divas coming back soon, but let’s hope they manage to find a good feud to put him in that will highlight his in-ring abilities.  That’s all he’s got because what type of feud are you going to have outsider the ring?  He can’t have a dance off with each opponent.  Ravishing Rick Rude was one of the few gimmicks (maybe Brutus the Barber too) that seemed one dimensional but was able to tone down the gimmick and was believable as a real opponent against non gimmicky shoots.  Let’s see if Fandango can walk that line?
18. Curtis Axel and Ryback (19) – It’s no secret I’m not a fan.  I don’t know who is.  But I think these two have found a temporary groove.  These two have become the top jobbers.  There’s no Ryb-Axel fan base you have to cater to.  As I mentioned last week, they’re a good one-two win for a wrestler that needs a win against a tactician and a heavyweight.  Now they’re jobbing as a tag team.  They’re more impressive than the 3MB coalition and there’s a chance that one of these two could fall into a gimmick that works.  Maybe?
19. Korporate Kane (N/A) – This is when I normally say something stupid like, Oh how the mighty have fallen.  But I’m not.  Why?  Because Kane’s utility has not yet shown its full scale use.  Whether it’s because Kane has been around forever or that he easily transitions between monster / business man / corporate lackey / straight man for a goofy tag premise, Kane always seems to fit in.  Acting as fodder for Bryan to take his aggressions out against The Authority on, I still believe Kane’s story has not yet been told (and probably not yet know even by the WWE creative staff).  I’m watching you Mr. Kane.  There’s either a great storyline inside you.
20. Divas Match (16) – This was a mess.  After a few weeks of good matches, we finally get a dud.  Considering they only get one match per week, they’re batting average is pretty good and I’ll chalk this up to an off night.  It was probably unfortunate to have the announcement of Lita going into the Hall of Fame, show highlights of what an awesome and revolutionary female wrestler she was and then to have such a clusterfuck of a Divas match all within about 30 minutes.  It certainly didn’t help this evenings Divas match.

Honorable Mentions

The Miz – For the second week in a row, he’s tried to pull the CM Punk pipe bomb shoot.  Fred “The Oracle” tells me that to replace the CM Punk “where’s my ice-cream bar / I’ve earned my shot over these losers” spot, The Miz and Ziggler will team up and try to take that mantle on.  The only problem is that Miz was the originator of that prior to Punk taking it to the next level.  Remember a few years ago when Miz won the Championship, that was kinda how he did it.  And no one deserves a push more than Ziggler but whining about his spot doesn’t suit Ziggler.  He’s more along the lines of Ric Flair who was the original showoff and would do anything to win.  That’s more Ziggler’s style.  If it gets Miz out of his funk and Ziggler a push, I’m for it.

Lita – Welcome to the HOF.  The woman who caused more ruckus in and out of the ring is now a Hall of Famer.  I wonder if her moonsaults and hurricanranas will be inducted along with her golden vagina into the HOF.  OOOOHHHHHHH boooooooo your self.  I’m not the one who jumped from wrestler to wrestler and cause on and off screen beef between the top stars of the WWE.  Lord knows, there was not bigger fan of Lita than me.  I’m just jealous… 

Bobo Brazil – Vince and the WWE have to dig deep for a non offensive face to shine the spotlight on for black history month.  As I discussed with Dustin “The Doc-ta” and Fred “The Oracle” black history month is a tricky time for the WWE.  Even though the vignette of Bobo was respectful and tried to show how he broke down barriers between races, they didn’t always show him in the best of lights.  It’s hard to celebrate black history month with characters like JYD, Crime Tyme, Coco B Ware, Kamala, Papa Shango, The Godfather, Virgil, The Boogeyman, etc. in your personal history book.  To be fair, I’ve never felt these gimmicks were meant to harm but were acutely incentive and during times when they weren’t the only ones.  I believe the McMahons see only the color green and that’s what motivates stories and characters far more than any ill intentions.  But then we get into conversations like, “How culpable are the Swiss in providing safe haven for Nazi wealth and gold (literally taken from the mouths of Jews) blah, blah, blah…” Let’s get back to the wrestling.  Here’s a great pic of Bobo, Classy and Regis.

Alexander Rusev w/ Lana – Am I the only one who finds a strong Russian accent, cold steely eyes, almost robotic like discipline and desire to destroy ones fellow competitors very attractive?  I’m talking about Lana you sick fools!  There’s something about the way she calmly scolds you and talks about hurting you that turns me on.  Now if she’d just get that huge guy out of the way, maybe we can start talking.  How you doing, Lana?

Side Note(s)

Betty White – Not to belabor a point (and honestly I respect the hell out of Ms. White for still hitting the stage into her 90’s) but I’d love to see the venn diagram where the WWE audience and the Lifetime network audience overlaps.  I imagine they barely kiss like two old dried out utters stuffed in a bra that’s one size to small.  Good luck getting to sleep with that picture seared into your brain.

It was clear by the end of the show, the company was openly stating that there are open spots at the top and if there are any Superstars out there that want to fill these open spots, now is the time to prove your worth.  That’s all great.  We’ve talked about there not being a lack of talent in the WWE but rather a lack of TOP TIER talent in the WWE.  As the RAW main event proved, how many times can we see Cena vs RKO?  Even Batista vs RKO isn’t setting the wrestling community on fire.  I’m glad there seems to be an open call for new talent.  Here’s the problem, look at the RAW lineup.  Where was the new blood?  Where’s the push for the Superstars in waiting?  A quick promo by Rusev and a nice match by the Usos (who have already proven their ready for the next step).  No Kofi, no Sandow, Miz had a two second bit, Ziggler couldn’t get halfway down the ramp before his intro was interrupted?  ADR is getting buried (and if you believe the internet rumors, will not be resigning with the WWE).  There’s nothing “new” or different that would make you think that we’re not going to be getting more Cena vs RKO for the next 10 years.  It’s nice to talk about top slots being up for grabs but who’s going to grab them if they don’t get the chance?  The New Age Outlaws are the tag team champs, they did a bit with Betty White and their only semi-in-ring contribution was a lame announcing gimmick which ended in a fart / diarrhea joke.  Talk about recycled shit.  Wake me up when Ziggler is facing Ambrose, Kofi has an actual gimmick, the Usos are tag champs, Sandow / Big E / Titus O’Neil / Darren Young / Brodus Clay / Zack Ryder / any NXT talent get a consistent and substantive push.  I’m sure I’m leaving out many more talents performers as well but you get the drift.

Finally, I was shocked to see the old WWF signage in this retro clip of Ernie Ladd.  

Until next week…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 2/03/2014

Coming at you from Omaha, OMAHA! (too soon Manning fans?), and like, OMG, this totally, like, has been the most cray cray of weeks EVER.  I’m like trippin’ amaze balls.  Ma’ brain is like totally rolling molly and I’m ‘bout to Euro drop in white snow.

Let’s not pretend this has been some ordinary week, people.  There’s an 800 lbs gorilla in the room that needs to be addressed.  Last week, the first thing that I posted was that CM Punk absence from RAW was strange and that I’d have to look into what might have been the reason.  I certainly didn’t expect this storm of internet rumors and speculation that I was bombarded with.  Wednesday morning came, and like Commissioner Gordon, my dear friend Fred “The Oracle” sends up the emergency Bat-signal to everyone that CM Punk quit the WWE!  7 am my phone starts blowing up.  By the afternoon, I’d heard every rumor and pundit’s best guess to what was going on between CM Punk and the WWE.  Because the wrestling rumor mill mainly feeds off itself, I take everything with a grain of salt.  Until I actually heard CM Punk himself make a statement, I would wait to fully believe anything.  I was the one consenting voice that questioned this and thinks it might just be the best work of all time.  Through out the week, I’ve flip-flopped depending on which article I’ve read or clip I’ve watched on YouTube.  All I know for sure is that this is very weird and we have not seen the end of CM Punk / WWE story.

One last note on Punk before we begin.  The crowd was consistently chanting for CM Punk.  If there truly was a break up, the WWE has ways of drowning out the crowd for the TV audience and maybe HHH or another heel would say something like, “he doesn’t work here anymore,” or “he can’t help you now.”  Also, look at this crowd shot.  It’s littered with Punk and Cena signs.  Which leads me to…

Adding to the strange-ness, and I’m not yet saying these things are related, but Cena was a no-show on tonight’s RAW.  Once again, I’ll have to consult The Oracle to see if this was merely a night off or another huge rumor filled week.  You’d think that with all the rumors about Punk circulating the internet, the WWE would put their true “Face of the WWE” front and center.  Very odd and very interesting.  FYI, the Usos were not seen either.  Not as big of an absence because just the other week they didn’t make it onto RAW but they’ve been pushed to the forefront of late and it’s hard to understand why Cena and the Usos wouldn’t be on the show?

We could spend hours debating and going through all the rumors and reasons for this Punk / WWE “feud” but this is not the time.  There’s too much great action going on by people who are actually in the ring and participating on WWE programming that we shouldn’t get distracted by just one wrestler.  At least, not yet.  With everything swirling around and the WWE possibly changing story lines of the fly, if you’re to believe the Punk rumors, I felt it was necessary to watch Smackdown this week as well.  Per usual, not nearly the show RAW is but had some interesting tidbits that will surely show up on tonight’s RAW and pertain to the next PPV, The Elimination Chamber (EC).  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 2/03/2014…

1. The Shield (2) – Another day, another great showing from The Shield.  Almost by default The Shield gets the top spot again.  It’s amazing that week after week, the WWE can make us “Believe in The Shield” and that they’re one unbreakable team and in the same night show outright displays of contention between the members.  The WWE isn’t just planting seeds, they’re breaking bats over our heads made out of trees of discord.  One moment they’re destroying their opponents and then just as they’re about to win, Ambrose steals the win from Reigns which leads to Rollins playing peacekeeper.  Can The Shield keep it together for their match against The Wyatt Family?  I don’t know?  That’s what makes their run so great.  The Shield later pulled an awesome switch-a-roo by doing their own jumbo-tron promo on The Wyatts (dare I say they did it better?) which only showed their solidarity.  
   
2. Bray and The Wyatt Family (1) – I’ll always argue against jumbo-tron promos, especially when they’re “speaking” to an in-ring opponent.  But this was one of the few Wyatt promos that made sense (relatively).  Their match against Ziggler, R-Truth and Woods was fine but we can’t get to their match with The Shield soon enough.  Overall, the Wyatts don’t have the same depth as The Shield but that’s not to say they can’t have a good match.  While Rowan and Harper aren’t nearly as skilled at Bray, they’re big.  They’re REALLY big and have proven to be impressive, albeit raw (no pun intended), and hard working competitors.  For the first time, the Wyatts will outsize Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns.  Have I mentioned how I can’t wait for this match!
   
3. Daniel Bryan (3) – Have the corporate winds of change reached Daniel Bryan?  I like the idea of Bryan vs Undertaker but there’s been nothing to suggest that will happen, only vague internet rumors (or desire).  If Bryan was to take Punk’s place against HHH at WM30 why would HHH / Stephanie, now, want to dip their toe in the Bryan as “Face of the WWE” waters?  Is it all part of another big work or something more straight forward?  My girlfriend asked me, “What makes Bryan so popular?”  I couldn’t come up with one singular reason.  I don’t know why his YES YES YES chant has caught on or why he’s such a fan favorite?  Is it because he’s the underdog of underdogs?  Is it because his chant is so easy and contagious (reminiscent of SCSA’s WHAT chant)?  It couldn’t only be his wrestling skills because there are other great wrestlers (i.e. Ziggler, Cesaro or Kofi) that can’t pull a pop from the crowd like Bryan gets.  She gave me a question I can’t answer.  I guess that’s why it’s been so hard for the WWE to get behind Bryan.  Its like the WWE found a kilo of cocaine but doesn’t know how to “step on it” to turn a bigger profit and doesn’t know any cocaine users to properly sell it to.  Maybe now the WWE has figured Bryan out and is turning Stephanie into Nino Brown.
4. Randy Orton (4) – You have to give RKO credit for going out to the ring with a hot crowd screaming for CM Punk.  He came out and ignored all the Punk chants and put on a solid shoot against Batista   BTW, is it any clearer that RKO is winning the EC match?  His opponents are Cena (whose going to loose so that he can go on to fight Bray Wyatt at WM30), Big E (who is not going to win), Bryan (who is the only competitor to have a chance at this point, even with the win on RAW I still doubt he’ll win at EC), Christian (still coming out of the McMahon doghouse, this is more of a chance to raise his Q-Score) and Cesaro (both he and I have the same chance of winning).  All of this seems to lead to a RKO vs Batista match at WM30.  Having Bryan win the match might be the start of a huge monkey wrench in the RKO / Batista WM30 matchup.  You’re not going to hear any complaints from me about that.  Right now RKO / Batista is third or forth on my WM main event rankings.  Back to the actual RAW match (you can see my opinion regarding clean losses by Champs in the HHH / Stephanie ranking), this was one of the best RKO matches in quite some time.  Even with some interference by Kane, RKO still lost the match.  I still question Kane’s veracity when it comes to hurting Bryan due to their long history (team Hell No / both being abducted by The Wyatt Family).   
   
5. The New Age Outlaws (12) – Now THIS was a NAO crowd.  Much better than last week’s crowd.  Omaha clearly remembers the late 90’s better than Cleveland.  A steel cage match between the NAO and the Rhodes brothers seem to come out of nowhere but I’ll take it.  It took a little while to get rolling but considering 3/4 of the participants were kicking ass in the late nineties, it was a fine match.  I still wonder why the NAO are champs in the first place and why are they still holding onto the belts?  They can’t possibly be back full time or for an extended period, can they be?  The next logical question is who are they going to drop the belts to and when?  The Usos?  They too were a no show last night?  Very strange.
6. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (9) – In another rematch for the tag team championship, this week the “brothers” find themselves in a cage to keep from any outside interferences.  The match started a little slow but by the third TV segment, the match really took off.  I couldn’t believe Cody went for and took such a huge bump on a RAW show.  It barely looked like Road Dogg broke Cody’s fall from the top of the cage.  It seemed like Cody might have actually broke / hurt his arm?  Maybe I just can’t believe an unbraced moonsault from the top of a cage could result with no bodily harm.  I’m nervous when I hop down from a lifted truck, let alone backflip blindly from 30+ feet.  The Rhodes boys seem to be in limbo between dropping the straps and the brother vs brother plot. 
   
   
   
7. Sheamus (8) – After a strong return at the Rumble and earning a slot in the EC match, Sheamus is looking for his groove.  He and the crowd seem to want him as a face but you get the feeling the WWE want’s him to be a heel?  Facing off against Axel is a sure fire way to get a win and destroy someone.  Naturally, I’d expect his next win to be against Ryback to show he can take on a heavyweight.  (Look Ma, we’ve found a use for Ryb-Axel)  I can’t complain too much about a lack of direction for Sheamus.  In just two weeks, he’s returned from a long injury layoff and is already involved in the main match at EC.  If by after the EC match, we don’t have a better idea of where Sheamus is going, then I’ll start my complaining.  
8. Christian (N/A) – One of the carryover items from Smackdown was the win Christian had over Swagger to earn a spot in the EC match.  Congrats to Christian for sticking around.  While I’m not a fan of Christian, I know he’s been part of some great TLC matches and can certainly help make the EC match as entertaining as possible, even thought I highly doubt the Championship belt will be changing hands before WM30.  This at least gives guys like Christian and Cesaro a chance to raise their profiles. 
9. Rey Mysterio / Kofi Kingston / Big E Langston (17/13) – A big chance for these three wrestlers.  IF Kofi and Big E are the future, what better than to let them be showcased vs The Shield.  At the same time, they can throw Rey out there and let him do one or two Rey things to make it seem like he can still wrestle a full match.  If Rey needs to go any longer than a few minutes, his magic drops off immensely.  Big E got a good run in the match.  I couldn’t tell exactly when but Reigns caught a solid hit and busted open his eyebrow.  Since going PG on all their programing, the WWE has been very cautious about blood but over the past few weeks it seems that someone has accidentally gotten cracked open on each show.  What concussions are to football, blood is to wrestling.  Try as you might to legislate it out, sometimes you just can’t avoid it. 
   
10. Titus O’Neil (N/A) – Another bit of news from Smackdown was that Titus and Darren Young had their big split.  Surprising because in this “golden age” of tag teams, and other than the Usos, I was under the impression that the PTP were next to get their tag push.  First guess is that the WWE needs more heavyweight faces and Titus could be that BUT the way he broke up with Darren Young would lead you to believe he’s going to be heel?  Secondly, I stated that when Darren Young came “out of the closet” right before SumerSlam last year, he guaranteed himself at least six months employment.  That six months is almost up.  If I were Young, I’d start beating that LBGT drum again to make sure I didn’t become the Marty Jannetty of the group.  As disappointing as it is to see the Primetime Players break up, it’s not really earth shattering.  I’ve grown to like their gimmick but that was mainly due to both of their charisma and wrestling skills and less to do with their storyline(s).  I believe this idea was brought up at one of my wrestling parties, and was agreed that it would probably never work in 2014, but if Titus, Big E and a returning Mark Henry wanted to start up a new version of The Nation???  That might be interesting and devastating.   
11. Batista (10) – Maybe it’s just coincidence that Batista is back in his “Canadian Tuxedo” which is the precursor to heel Batista?  Let’s hope and pray.  Good-guy Batista is no fun.  I do enjoy Batista’s affinity and ability to embrace his own signage each week.  Really?  That’s what my Batista analysis has come to?  The only decent thing I can say is that he likes signs?  Whew, this is headed toward a train wreck.  Add Lesnar, add Bryan, add Sting, Hulk Hogan, the entire TNA and Ring of Honor rosters if it will make Batista vs RKO even 1% more interesting.  They need something.  We deserve something better. 
    
12. Alberto Del Rio (15) – Besides from Batista and ADR having the best dressed shoot of the night, I had to rewind twice because I kept falling asleep.  What really got me upset was right before ADR came out to do a heel shoot, he was in a charity commercial for the WWE.  I understand we’re done with the Kayfabe days of wrestling and we all know there’s the performer and the real life dude.  I don’t believe the Wyatts crawled out of the swamp and surely the Undertaker is alive and well, not entombed waiting for WM30 to roll around.  But can we keep the goodwill promos away from the segment of the show where the wrestler has to be an asshole heel?  BTW, Nice shoot against Batista’s movie aspirations.  Those are the type of things ADR should be doing and putting on solid matches, not just getting Batista bombed like a chump.
13. R-Truth / Xavier Woods / Dolph Ziggler (20/14) – Why, oh why, did Ziggler have to be involved in this dismantling.  The crowd chanting “We want Ziggler,” is definitely something I can get behind.  If the WWE is all about what’s best for business these days, please listen to the crowd and let go of whatever heinous thing Ziggler did and stop burying him.  Ziggler made Harper look like a skilled vet.  Ziggler also gave a great backstage shoot at Smackdown.  Unlike Bryan, where the WWE is trying to figure out what to do with him, Ziggler is a natural heel.  He’s already won the World Championship, so you know he can work well while wearing the belt.  To me, he’s a classic champ along the lines of Ric Flair.  A “showoff,” arrogant, can take and exaggerate bumps and is willing to lie, steal and cheat to keep a title.  Just give him one already.  As for Truth and Woods, they’re fine.  Both have athletic abilities that are more than serviceable.  What are you going to do with them?  That’s the problem.  The feud that should have launched them (or killed them) was with Brodus Clay.  That’s the $64,000 question; What happen to Brodus Clay?  He turned heel.  He’s a heavyweight with considerable skill.  He hasn’t been on air in over a month? 
    
14. HHH and Stephanie (7) – Begrudgingly Stephanie acquiesce to the crowd and give them the RKO vs Bryan match that everyone’s been asking for.  You’d have to be a fool to believe that Bryan was going to get a fair shot, especially at a weekly RAW show?  Silly me, the WWE proved me that I’m the fool, again.  See, when I heard that RKO would have to battle Daniel Bryan to see who was worthy of being the “Face of the WWE” I just assumed this was a title match.  Why would I assume something so stupid as an actual match counting for something?  Maybe that’s because this is how it’s been for EVER!  These are not blacked out house shows.  These are on televised RAW episodes!  Obviously no one has heard my calls to put an end to the farce of champions loosing matches on clean pins but still retaining their belts, and it’s not like I’m going to stop watching wrestling, so my only option is punishing HHH and Stephanie with a heavily penalized ranking position.  I’m sorry.  I loved Stephanie’s opening.  I loved that HHH joined in on the YES YES YES chant (whether sincerely or tauntingly).  I’m sorry, you two must be punished.
    
15. Jack Swagger w/ Cesaro and Zeb (16) – Two losses in a row to Christian by Swagger.  Both times there has been tension between Swagger and Zeb.  Meanwhile, Cesaro is playing it smart and just hanging out after stamping his ticket to the EC match.  I touched on it last week.  I don’t really care what’s happening with The Real Americans and Zeb but their semi-racist / initially shoot towards the Tea Party is starting to catch on with the crowd (as seen by how many fans chant along with “We The People”).  Sure, in some electoral districts, Zeb would have his like minded followers but in general he’s supposed to be a true heel.  To keep him that way, they’re now going to play the extreme Bobby Knight / over the top coach card to keep him as a consummate heel. 
    
16. Divas match: Naomi vs Oksana ( ) – Look what happens when you go out and make the best of your chances, slowly you’ll rise up the rankings.  Easy-peasy.  Once again Naomi shows some real skill in the ring.  Oksana wasn’t bad either.  The real joy of this match was to get AJ in on the announce mic again.  She’s the top dog in the Divas division and even though she’s the smallest girl, she’s the one carrying the division.  Inside or outside the ring, she’s the one I want to see.  
    
17. SAN-TIN-OOOOOOOO (N/A) – “Look, Fandingo!” Oh, Santino.  You had me at hello… 
    
18. Fan-dan-go and Summer Rae (19) – You’d think that above anyone in the WWE Universe these two would easily win a dance contest but little did they know they’d be going against the great Santino. 
19. Curtis Axel w/ Ryback (N/A) – The absolute disrespect to the memory of Mr. Perfect by Axel wearing this shirt is astonishing.  “Better than Perfect?”  Who knows what the future will hold but to defile your dad’s legacy while you’re performing so sub-standardly is horrible.  The only good thing about the Ryb-Axel combo is that if they job to you, you can a win over the “technical” Axel and then the “bruiser” Ryback.  They’re actually the perfect jobbing tandem.  
    
20. Zack Ryder (N/A) – A fan favorite but unfortunately he became a lamb to the Titus O’Neil slaughter.  I believe this is the Broski’s first match on RAW in over six months.  I’d rather see him jobbing than any member of 3MB.  When I complain about how thin the WWE roster is, it’s because I forget about the half dozen or so guys who are cashing checks each week but only see TV time every now and then.  The problem isn’t a thin roster (the rumble proved there could have been 40 guys if they wanted to) it’s that the WWE roster is lacking star power at the top.  They’ve got bodies.  They just don’t have more than 4 or 5 main event level guys.  This was another reason to get rid of the two “championship” belts.  It was becoming too obvious that one was the first tier champion and the other was barely a notch above the US or IC champions.

Honorable Mentions

Ernie Lad – In a nice tribute for Black History Month, the WWE did a surprisingly classy job of honoring “The Big Cat.”

#BadNewsBarrett – GET. IN. THE. FUCKING. RING!!!! Until then, I have nothing to say.

#EMMA-lution – One of the new NXT Divas.  I don’t know what page it’s on, in the ancient book of wrestling, where it says, “When in doubt, have the wrestler dance like a fool,” but that page needs to be torn out and burned.

Side Note(s) 

I have no problem promoting the WWE Network but I can take NO more of the announcers showing us how to download the app.  Retarded children know how to download apps.  My mother knows how to download apps.  By your own account, over 10 million people have downloaded you app.  Stop with the constant schilling of the WWE app.  I’m more than happy to hear about the WWE Network.  If the app somehow ties into the Network, then ok but so far they have not made that connection.  Even if they did, NO ONE NEEDS TO SHOW US HOW TO DOWNLOAD AN APP!  Just tell us to down load the WWE app and check out what you’ll see on it.  This isn’t brain surgery.  

Here’s my few quick notes to why I don’t feel CM Punk really quit the WWE.  These are in no particular order:

- He’s very smart and wouldn’t this be ideal for him to pull an elaborate work.  When he won the championship against from Cena, he was the taking the “stolen” belt all round Chicago and various other stops (including his refrigerator) until it was announce he resigned with the WWE.

- Punk has never shied away from the cameras or radio or internet, so if this is real why hasn’t there been a huge tell all interview?

- For all his greatness, Punk is like any good artist…Arrogant / Prima Donna.  It’s not absurd to think he’s been hurt and somewhat underused, and just needs his ego stroked a little by the WWE brass.  Fly out to Chicago and make him feel needed.

- He’s only got six months until his real contract ends.  You’re telling me that Punk can’t last until July to decided to retire?

- Which leads me to…He makes about 2 - 3 million a year (per online estimates) and he’s going to pass up those last few large paychecks just because he’s unhappy with the direction of his character?

- He understands this business.  I don’t believe that he can’t see the value to the company when returning wrestlers like The Rock or even Batista come back to the WWE, even part time.  Batista is supposedly full time for the next year or so and you can’t deny what The Rock brings in as far as draw and exposure.  There’s merit it being unfair to hard working, full time wrestlers who get pushed down in favor of part time Lesnars of the world but the WWE is running a business.  Lesnar puts asses in seats and PPV buys.

- The rumored storyline for WM30 was HHH vs Punk.  That’s more exciting than RKO vs Batista and surly would have been in the top three of main events.  Punk wan’t mid-carding WM30.

Then again, with Punk, who knows.  He’s the one guy I wouldn’t put it past to pick up his ball and go home.

Until next week…