Coming at you from Greenville, and from the ashes a phoenix will rise! Well, let’s hope so. Last week was a bit of a mess. Not only for the WWE which resulted in the World’s Greatest Power Rankings and the BEARcast - WrestleCast (which can be found at www.worldofbear.com and on iTunes) being cursed with problems. The culprit for such results is the WWE creative team (who I’ve had high praise of late). The “B” word was busted out, which is never good for a television show, but “Boring” was the only way to describe the current state of the WWE.
There’s only three major story lines that the WWE Creative seems to be putting any effort into (WWE Champ Daniel Bryan, Shield vs Evolution and Bray Wyatt vs Cena), while you’ve got a plentiful roster of great performers with no direction. Want some examples?
Wade Barrett. Now he’s the IC champ. Great. So what? Why did he want to be champ and what’s his character doing? If you’re going to tell me he’s the champ because he wants to be the best and his current tier is the IC level, fine. Then I expect to see two to three segments of a fantastically wrestled match. That was not the case.
Sheamus is the US champ. It’s not because of some character driven story arc. He won an impromptu 20-man Royal Rumble which consisted of any wrestler who happened to be dressed at the time the match was scheduled. The WWE wanted the US belt off of Ambrose and this was the quickest, easiest way possible. Prior to last week, you’d have thought Sheamus had a 100-yard restraining order on him because that’s how close he was to the US belt. Now, for no reason or merit, he’s an IC champ.
The start of a Rhodes brother feud would have been great three months ago leading up to a match at WM30, but now it’s just some awkward set of accidents that is cause for Cody to be pissed at Goldust.
The Tag Team division, which six months ago was loaded, now features the current champion Usos vs the number one contender of…Ryb-Axel. RYB-fucking-AXEL?!?! The only other two tag team available are 3MB and Los Matadores (whom strangely are in a ridiculous feud with each other, but a feud nonetheless). 3MB and Los Matadores should be helping set up the ring and lucky to be cashing checks that have WWE written on them, not being in line for a Tag champ run.
Even the likes of Cesaro, Ziggler, Sandow, Kofi, ADR, Big E and many more known names and solid performers are sitting around doing nothing. Up and coming NXT wrestlers were introduced the night after WM30 and since then, all we’ve gotten are promos and one live appearance last week by Adam Rose, which lasted two-seconds.
Remind me again what The Shield and Evolution are fighting about? I understand the long term purpose, The Shield is turning face and Evolution is putting them over, but how and why are we seeing them feud?
The saving grace is in the actual performers. The roster is full of top quality men and women. Unlike in lean years where there were only a handful of quality wrestlers or personas, the WWE has many “toys” it can play with. My complaints are because the WWE is not doing a good job of utilizing what they have. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the WWE will open up their toy chest and let the writers play with their action figures.
So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 5/12/2014…
Before we get going, RAW did a much better job this week. Storytelling-wise, it wasn’t as if Shonda Rhimes was laying down the foundation for the next season of Scandal but the WWE did give some attention to the mid-card and at least gave a little context to the Shield / Evolution feud. Also it seems like there’s big news regarding Daniel Bryan’s health, assuming it’s true it could affect the entire roster. But when in doubt, let the wrestlers wrestle and we saw a lot of that on RAW.
- The Shield (1) – As show openers, Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns were solid but they’re not quick starters. They don’t yet have the ability to pop the crowd by just standing in the ring. The Rock, Austin, HHH & Stephanie are types of figures that can stand in the center of the ring and grab your attention. The Shield members are still new (comparatively) and their shoots are best backstage or in response to other wrestlers. I’m fine with The Shield being part of the show opener but I’d have had them come out interrupting whomever the show opener was. Besides, their intro song and how they walk through the crowd is badass. Whether they’re face or heel, they always get a pop when they enter so why waste that by having them in the ring to start the show? The Shield are one of the few things the WWE creative staff has done well. They were wisely kept together when most had accepted that there was going to be a split. I was going to complain that they’ve been demolished two weeks in a row on RAW and it’s time for them to be the ones delivering the beating, not just on the PPV where fewer viewers saw it. That’s exactly what happened and not only did they jump Evolution (twice), but took out the entire backstage roster at the end. Well done. It’s hard to complain about The Shield.
- John Cena and The Usos (HM&N/A) – Initially Greenville seemed like a very pro Cena and Usos crowd, at least to start. The crowd got hot in the middle with a great Let’s go Cena / Cena Sucks chant. I’ve got to commend Cena because he’s the best salesman the WWE has. Cena is also the best hype-man in wrestling. Part of the reason it’s okay to bash Cena is because you know he’s not going anywhere. He’s secure with his spot in the WWE and isn’t afraid to put other wrestlers over. He sells his partner(s) better than most tag teams partners. Cena had all five of his moves on display and the Usos picked up the rest of the work. Great match. I couldn’t tell you how this advances either Cena vs Bray or the Usos but it was a great match.
- Bray and The Wyatt Family (2) – Great Match! See what happens with a well rassel’d match, you can get away with saying nothing and you go over with the crowd even if you’re on the loosing end. BUT for those of you who thought you’d get through RAW without a Bray shoot, let me introduce you to the WWE and their dead horse beating policy. Bray had to have his little backstage shoot. I’ll go out on a limb to say it wasn’t even filmed this Monday. Did you notice how Bray didn’t say the city they were in when he did his, “We’re here” gimmick? The Wyatts could have been in any blacked out room to film that promo. I get the feeling, Bray has a handful of generic Wyatt promos that he cranked out one afternoon. When they’re in Greenville, he’s not wasting his time coming in early.
- Evolution (3) – Maybe it was inside info, but probably dumb luck, that HHH stuck with Evolution instead of addressing his feud with Daniel Bryan. Regardless of the why’s and how’s, Evolution is the correct group to put The Shield over as faces. Eventually, Evolution will end up loosing the feud to The Shield. Then what’s next? I’d love to put Batista in back in his Canadian tuxedo or a rugged flannel because I think he’s found his calling as the next Paul Bunyan with his gorgeous new beard. Give him an Axe and a great big blue ox, your set. In reality, let’s assume Batista has to take time off in about six to eight weeks to promote Guardians of the Galaxy, which is approximately the perfect time to end the Shield / Evolution feud. At that point, you have to replace him or somehow make the transition to a two-man team like DX did. The problem is RKO is no HBK, not in talent or in his relationship to HHH. Assuming Bryan is out for at least six months, you’ve got hole to fill at the top. I would NOT simply throw RKO in that hole and I wouldn’t completely abandon Evolution. I’ll save this for another day because there’s too many backstage questions that need answering; When and for how long is Batista leaving and How long is Bryan going to be out? Without knowing these real life issues, it’s hard to speculate on what the characters should do. At the end of the day, no matter how this storyline has been thrown together, there’s too much talent between The Shield and Evolution to have a bad match at Payback. I just wish there was a more sophisticated story being told leading up to the match. These are arguably your top 6 characters in the company and they’re involved in a simple dick measuring contest.
- Daniel Bryan (13) – The first note I took was, “It seems like a 80/20 Yes-No chant?!” Little did I know, it would soon not matter. The first question to Fred “The Oracle” on the next BEARcast - WrestleCast (cheap plug for www.worldofbear.com or Subscribe on iTunes), how real is this neck surgery angle and how bad is it, if true? Talk about the Yin and Yang of life. One week Bryan’s winning the WWE title in the main event at WrestleMania and marrying his wife, then the next week his father dies and he now needs neck surgery. If Bryan is seriously injured and needs extended time off, that throws a curve to the entire roster. It might seem like an easy task to replace one character with another but Kane was never going to win the strap and they’ve done nothing to set up the next contender. At the moment, everyone else is involved in a different feud. Luckily, as I’ve discussed, none of the feuds are so great or intricate that the WWE couldn’t change them. Here’s what I’d do…Have Bryan make a deal with the devil. Bryan gives the belt to…wait…BROCK LESNAR! He cuts a deal with Heyman to hand over the title in exchange for its return if / when Bryan is able to recover. Of course this would lead to a Heyman and Lesnar betrayal and cause for a Bryan / Lesnar match. In the meantime, Lesnar could use the same storyline Bryan and Kane have been in. Fred tells me that the next match was going to be a buried alive match. Lesnar could take Bryan’s place, win the match and be responsible for taking out both Kane and The Undertaker! How about that for a little somewhat-feasible “fantasy booking”?
- Dolph Ziggler (N/A) – Ziggler and Fandango put on a solid match. If anyone was going to get the cheap distraction win, I’m glad it was Ziggler. I’m too tired of preaching the merits of Ziggler. He’s awesome in-ring and on the mic. I’m glad he’s getting play and that he’s been on TV that last few weeks. Maybe, just maybe, the Bryan injury will trickle down and open a larger role for Ziggler.
- Cody Rhodes w/ Goldust (11) – Back against his former partner (and off camera) friend in Sandow. They had an enjoyable match. Good for both of them. If you haven’t been watching the JBL and Cole show, I do not fault you for having a life, you’ve been missing some fairly creative and fun work by Cody and pals such as Barrett. If you have some free time, next time you’re on YouTube, check out some of the clips from the JBL and Cole show. For now, the Rhodes brothers are back on the same team. Either way, this has been horrible storytelling. Either the WWE screwed up the split or they can’t figure out anything for Cody and Goldust to do. I don’t know, have them fight the Usos for the Tag straps. It’s 1,000 times better than a Ryb-Axel feud.
- Damien Sandow (N/A) – It’s as if the WWE was listening when I called for the mid-carders to get some showtime. See how easy it is? At the very least, give good wrestlers some valuable screen time and let them work. If they’re good, they’ll tell a story with their match. That’s the art of wrestling. If you really want to get wild, throw in a little bit of long term planning and boom, you’ve got a feud. Rasslin isn’t rocket science.
- Paige (N/A) – It was a big show for her. Paige got the double push of a TV package and then a full match. A match I enjoyed very much. What I found most interesting was even though she’s the champ and you’d think she’d be all about looking good throughout the match, she took all the bumps and sold all of Alicia Fox’s moves. Even to the point were we might have gone past the PG rating with some of the screaming and moaning Paige let out while Alicia Fox had her racked up. It made me close my eyes and think about a different kind of wrestling.
- Alicia Fox (N/A) – Once again, Fox was very good. In a night were we got to see some quality wrestling, Paige and Fox put on one of the best matches. Fox even got some mic time and worked it fairly well. Alicia’s badass bitch act has been working for her. She’s vicious, violent and just about everything you wish most of the male side of the roster would bring to the ring. I don’t know what to feel about the hissy-fit post match routine? What is that establishing other than an affinity to waste good soda and prance around in a cowboy hat? Is there a Coyote Ugly 2 movie that only she knows about?
- Sheamus (7) – I can’t recall a time I’ve ever cheered so much for Sheamus. All I keep thinking is if rumors are to be believed, is Sheamus Evolution material? Then I tell myself, well, that’s what “Evolution” is intended for so…? Just keep nailing Ryback in the crotch. I could only dream of a day when I got to work and it is not only acceptable but encouraged to stomp on a fellow co-worker’s pee-hole.
- Rob Van Dam (5) – KCC (keep cashing checks). These are the nights wrestlers probably kill for. Enter the ring as a face. Have a front row seat to Zeb’s shoot on the Adam Rose circus. Pull off your signature 5-star and 1-2-3 you’re done. Nice day’s work. Clearly someone was going to chill out in Rose’s party bus.
- Adam Rose (17) – It looks like there were quite a few Marvel costumes left in the 99 cent bin. There must be a lot of pressure on Rose to become a popular character because there’s no way the WWE is paying for all these extras to travel around unless they just utilize all the stagehands and wardrobe assistants to comprise his Rose-buds? It seems Swagger will be Rose’s first opponent? Do we really have to wait until Payback for this match to actually happen? I want to know if this guy can wrestle. The other funny thing is that Rose looks like he’s about 40 years old. Either he’s the old guy at the club or doing molly on a regular basis puts miles on you. Swagger looks about half his age. Rose should be sitting around with Zeb watching Fox News and complaining about welfare programs.
- Jack Swagger w/ Zeb (18) – Zeb now has an official Deportation List? I still haven’t decided if we’re talking Schindler’s or Santa’s list? The level of offensiveness probably correlates to the opponent, right? It seems to be a lot less offensive when it’s against Adam Rose and his partying ways than when it’s against people who are of a gradually darker skin tone color scale. I can’t help but see young and old Biff from Back to the Future part 2 when I watch Zeb and Swagger roam around. Which leads me back to my original point of my initial rant. I may not like Zeb’s gimmick or think very highly of Swagger’s wrestling ability but I know what / who their characters are. It might not be a great story, but I clearly know Zeb’s motive and why he would be feuding with Adam Rose’s party character. Each has a defined roll and a conflict between them that needs to be settled. In this case, it’s silly but because it has the basic formula to storytelling, I’m more interested in this match than any of the better wrestlers. Imagine if Swagger and Rose had a good wrestling match? How quickly would both their stocks rise? Apply these simple storytelling principles to a Cesaro or Kofi match and the fans would go crazy.
- Stephanie McMahon (12) – As WWE fashion expert, she looked great in simple jeans and a blazer. No muss, no fuss. Now to the wrestling, if there was ever a time for a good ol’ cat fight, Steph vs B-Bella was the time to do it. That’s why Vince will always be the best owner ever. He would have had that cat fight. What’s her play anyway? Stephanie is setting all this up, right? If so, why are we not getting the smirk when the camera lingers on her closeup as everyone leaves? Damn it, McMahon! You’re playing your cards too close to the vest. I want to know what’s going on.
- Alexander Rusev w/ Lana (9) – Are we sure that Rusev snapped an official Hacksaw 2x4 or are we looking at a wood enhancement situation? That joke was brought to you by Cialis. Cialis, when you want to throw up (just a little bit) in your mouth at the next family dinner, wait until your mother talks about how she has it timed so that she can wash out her hair coloring before your father’s Cialis kicks in. Thank you Cialis. No need for Cialis when Lana struts out on stage. Quick question, I wonder how long the WWE will stick with the Russia / Putin gimmick if tensions between the USA and Russia continue to deteriorate?
- Big E (8) – Came to Hacksaw’s defense and could further his face persona, which only adds to the WTF of Big E dropping the belt last week to Barrett. If they were going to have Ambrose drop the US belt in a random Rumble fashion, why not let Barrett win the US belt and Big E could continue to get the IC belt push? (Especially if rumors of Sheamus joining Evolution are true??) Example 294 that there doesn’t seem to be any game plan for most of the WWE roster. It will be interesting if these two actually do feud because I was first to claim Big E as “Taz 2.0” and Fred “The Oracle” has been touting Rusev as “Taz 2.0” and this feud could settle our debate.
- Fandango w/ Layla (N/A) – Burning through the Divas division as if he was pre-engagement CM Punk. He may have come off as a bit of a weirdo on Total Divas but at least he’s owning the creep factor. Michael Sam has more socially acceptable PDA. He and Ziggler put on a great match for 4:50 of a 5 minute match. It’s a shame it had to end with a garbage ending but it’s to further a garbage storyline. I can’t say I’m a fan of the Fandango storyline but at least he’s got a story which, no matter what, will eventually lead to more story when Summer Rae returns. It’s ironic that 2 of the matches that have some semblance of plot both stem from the Total Divas “reality” show. (Bella / Hart and Fandango / Summer / Layla)
- Total Divas Match N-Bella vs Natalya (N/A) – Hey, JBL, don’t insult the fine name of Mayor Rob Ford by saying he’d paint something as bad as Nattie’s picture. Anything that the crack-smoking-mayor Rob Ford does is vastly more interesting than Total Divas. I hate to say a match was boring when the participants were trying so hard but if I’m going to be honest, it was garbage. The saving grace was that garbage at least had a story behind it, and the girls sold the match. You’d have to assume this becomes an anti-bullying bit based on the commentary and reactions? Not this guy, I could care less. The only reason for watching was to see if Eva Marie’s dress rose up any higher so that you could see if the curtains match the carpet, if you know what I mean. Huh, huh. Nudge, nudge. Says your creepy uncle.
- Ryback w/ Curtis Axel (16) – Oh, no. Don’t tell me they now have new tag team gear? Ryb-Axel beanies. I bet when the good people of Greenville bought their tickets to RAW, they never would have imagined that they’d be getting a Sheamus / Ryback and Sheamus / Axel match for the price of one. I thought we stopped torturing people? Call Donald Rumsfeld to see if watching a Ryb-Axel match is considered part of the US enhanced interrogation techniques. Why is the WWE doing this to their television audience? To make it all so much worse…They’re going to win the tag belts sooner than later. Shoot me now.
Honorable Mentions
Kane – He came, he dragged, he walked off. I wonder if Kane’s arc is tied specifically to Daniel Bryan or can he switch his game up to whoever takes over as the new WWE champ? What of his rumored retirement plans?
Bo-lieve – R-Kelly’s, “I believe I Can Fly” has nothing on the power of Bo-lief. As a Bo-liever I can get married. I can win 100 meter dashes in dress attire against my fellow office workers. Or as my girlfriend just said, “I now Bo-lieve that I can shoot myself in the head”… I guess he’s got a little further go to win over the average fan. But I Bo-lieve he can do it!
Hacksaw Jim Duggan – Mr. Duggan was the only Legend they could get to show up and promote Legends House? Well, I guess Greenville, S.C. isn’t exactly a thriving metropolis. It’s going to take more than a potential beat own by Rusev and flash of Lana’s legs to get Piper down from his house in the hills of the great Northwest.
Brodus Clay – A non-funkasaurus sighting. I repeat, a NON-Funkasaurus sighting!
Side Note(s)
It’s nice to have announcers that genuinely seem to enjoy each other but can it become distracting and they loose sight of their number one job, sell the matches. Such is the case with Cody vs Sandow where they would rather talk about Lawler’s cheapskate breakfast habits instead of putting over the ending to the Cody / Sandow match. The Cole / JBL / Lawler team have their good moments, particularly when it comes to filler but when they’re required to sell matches, they disappoint more than they enhance. I can’t help but think how JR would have sold the Undertaker / Lesnar match? These are the things, like long term plot outlines, that seem to not be getting the attention required. The quality of the WWE has risen overall since the HHH / Stephanie era has begun but there are some aspects that have been ignored which are starting to become more and more glaring.
Until next time…
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