WWE Power Ranking, RAW 11-11-2013

Coming at you from Manchester, England, it’s Veteran’s Day and the WWE starts with a salute to all of our current and former military members.  Throughout the years the WWE has been a huge supporter of our armed forces and I’ve always been astonished at the commitment that they show to entertaining the troops.  Never a year goes by that the WWE doesn’t GO TO the military, often times in not so friendly places, and put on a show for the troops.  I give the WWE a ton of credit for doing what few entertainers or companies do which is to go to the troops and support them while on duty around the globe.  We’ll get into the rankings and the wise-cracks soon enough but here’s a big thank you to all of our military (especially my grandpa Henry (RIP) and stepdad Ted) for their service to our country, and a thank you to the WWE for making it a priority to entertain our troops and bring a piece of “home” to those serving around the world. 

The WWE is in England tonight.  It’s always fun to see how different countries react to the characters established in the USA.  It’s a totally different vibe than just the odd midwest state vs New York or Los Angeles.  I always loved when William Regal, a heel most of the time in America, would fight the champ and get a HUGE crowd pop.  Also, these foreign shows are filled with “smart” fans that have waited years to see the WWE come to their town.  These hard core fans spend a lot of time on the internet following wrestling so you get a good mix of “marks” and overseas reactions.  If anything, this should be interesting.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on Veteran’s Day 11/11/2013…

Initially we’re told that HHH and Stephanie are on vacation and won’t be at the England show.  The as RKO makes his way to the ring to open the show, we’re told that due to injury The Big Show isn’t going to be on the show either.  Whatever the real reasons for them not making the trip across the pond is, this can open the show up to giving more time to some of the other wrestlers looking for their characters to get some screen time.  

The rankings were getting pretty muddy for a while but luckily we got one of the best RAW endings in quite some time, which also helped me put all these guys in the proper order.

1. The Shield (11) – I don’t know if there’s a speed record for best promo, but The Shield’s cut with RKO has got to be on that list.  It was great.  I’ve been reading rumors about the eventual breakup of The Shield, even WWE had Reigns holding the WWE strap with a question “Who would you like to see as the next champ?” on WWE.com, so it’s only a matter of time.  I plead to the wrestling gods, please keep The Shield together through WM30.  I don’t know if my pleas will be answered until WM30 but it looks like they’ll stay together until Survivor Series.  In what was the match of the night, match of the month and in the running for RAW match of the year for what potential it could bring.  The Shield, The Wyatts, The Rhodes, The Usos, Punk and Bryan stole the night!  Just the fact that we finally got a glimpse of Shield vs Wyatts was enough to get me off the couch.  When it became a 6-on-6, I was ready to throw $50 down for a PPV right then an there.  DON’T TELL ME THESE GUYS DON’T HAVE BUY-RATE POWER! If you can’t sell this match, the WWE is the one who is failing. (see the Big E ranking for more on this subject)
2. CM Punk (2) – What better way to warm up for a handicap match with Bryan against The Shield than to beat up on his favorite human piñata, Heyman?  Beating up a cast / wheelchair bound Heyman should be an intercontinental event.  You could take this show to each continent.  Once the smoke cleared from the Heymen act, it was time to get to business.  Was there any question that Punk and Bryan weren’t going to put on a great match with The Shield.  That’s right, it’s not even a question.  It’s called rhetorical, bitch.
3. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (5) – Once again another week of them being thrown into a match without getting to cut any promo.  It’s a little disappointing because Goldust is such a beloved character, it’s always great to see what he comes up with.  Fortunately, both Goldust and Cody have been killing it with their in-ring performances.  If you would have told me five years ago, Goldust would be back full time and performing at this level in-ring, I’d have called you insane.  Throw them into the mix of the main event and that’s why they’re up to #3.
4. Daniel Bryan (3) – Teaming up with Punk was just what the doctor ordered.  Their similarities in-ring and backgrounds make them a no-brainer for a great tag team.  Bryan gets the 4th spot because he didn’t have any extra curricular activity or another match.  Out of the 12 men involved with the main event, only The Usos have less character development.  At the same time, the crowd goes crazy for Bryan and it’s his theme song they’re ending the show on and his signature YES, YES, YES that the crowd goes crazy with.
5. The Wyatt Family and The Usos (4/10) – Almost an afterthought for the night, The Wyatts made the night and The Usos put the exclamation on it.  The Wyatt Family did the most to jack up the crowd.  They light the fuse to a potential Wyatt vs Shield match and then fueled by ‘The Spirit’ they showed The Shield the light in regards to common enemies.  It shouldn’t have been a shock to see the Usos fly in with The Rhodes boys but they rounded out the Survivor Series match.  They’re in-ring work has been so good recently that their inclusion can’t hurt this 12-man tag match (although I can’t remember a moment where they’ve been able to cut a promo?).  
6. Randy Orton (1) – The show opener.  With a lack of “supervision” at this show, RKO thought he could throw his weight around.  Why not?  He’s the “face of the WWE.”  Unfortunately he forgot to read the memo about sticking foot in mouth.  While no one will confuse this group for a Shakespearean theater troupe but to watch the banter between RKO-Maddox-Kane, and later Vickie, wasn’t bad.  He’s the WWE Champ.  He’s going to be high on the list.  If you only watched the first two hours of the show, he was the star.  Not until the end would I have put any other wrestlers above him.  He seemed to be put in his place by everyone tonight.  From the mouthpieces of the Corporation to The Shield, I wonder how RKO will react when HHH and Stephanie are back on the show?
7. John Cena (14) – It’s official, smart fans all around the world know to boo Cena.  He polarizes both sides of the Atlantic.  The shots of the crowd is all you need to know about “The Cena Affect.”  The small boys and older women cheer while the tween girls and older men boo.  It’s the most fascinating sight I’ve ever seen in a crowd.  He also did the exact thing I talked about last week.  He rose to the level of his competition.  This was the best in-ring work I’ve seen from Swagger / Cesaro and Cena matched their efforts.  He was good.  
8. Big E Langston (9) – Who’d have guessed Big E would be the one to “save” Cena from ADR?  I guess that makes it official, Big E is getting the big push.  Nothing against Big E, because I do like him and hope he does well (hell, I called him Taz 2.0 last week) but why does he get the World Champ push while Ziggler gets to job to Axel?  Do they not both deserve a push?  Recently, Vince was on a stockholders conference call and it was inferred that the reason for a less than anticipated buy-rate on the last PPV was due to Daniel Bryan being in the main event.  It’s absurd to think that one person on a card is what makes or breaks a PPV, especially when that person incites near riots at every match I’ve watched.  My point is, if Vince is trying to make the lesser known wrestlers the scapegoats, it’s not the lesser known wrestler’s fault, it’s the WWE machine.  You can’t have every event be Cena VS The Rock.  If you want to build your other characters, you have to give them time to grow and if some of the smaller PPVs have a lower buy-rate, then so be it.  Giving the other wrestlers time to grow will ultimately lead to more stars and bigger cards and better buy-rates.  You’re not going to see individuals grow if every time a Superstar gets heat, like Ziggler or Bryan, you bury them in lieu of new face.  I like Big E, but he’s not going to skyrocket to the level of Bryan, Punk or even Ziggler in the next month or two.  Yet, they’re being buried in lieu of Big E’s brand new heat.   
9. Heyman (16) – This is another character that if I’d known tonight’s show would be in Europe, the anticipation for this week’s show would have been enhanced.  I forgot that Heyman had been in Europe receiving medical attention for his injuries suffered at Hell in a Cell.  Maybe not so shockingly, shots fired at Ryback!  If Ryback and Heyman’s unholy union can’t stand the test of time, how can any marriage be expected to last?  There’s no one better on the mic right now.  Two very important points of interest; 1) he looks like Darth Vader at the end of ‘Jedi and 2) I’m sure the ADA or the EEOC will have something to say about Heyman’s treatment and his ability to safely get in and out of the ring without being beaten with a Kendo stick.  
   
10. The Big Show (13) – Supposedly missing from the trip, ‘Show surprised RKO and came out to bring justice and punishment to RKO.  During the Attitude Era, Big Show’s choke-slam setup would have been tame but in this new Reality / PG era, that’s the biggest bump you’re going to see on a RAW show.  After watching the replay, and remembering the era we’re in, that was a pretty good spot.  Big Show was used for the proper amount of time.
11. Alberto Del Rio (6) – Put on an average match with Big E.  Nothing great and nothing bad.  He did what he was supposed to do, which is to win.  He’s like the San Antonio Spurs, he went out and beat the inferior opponent.  Are you going to make the Spurs the champs just because they be the Golden State Warriors?  No, because it’s what they’re supposed to do.  Wake me up when he’s fighting Cena for the World strap again (which I have no faith that he will win, even though he never should have lost it in the first place but that’s what you get when you fight “super” Cena).  ADR also had a few good lines during his ringside commentary.
12. Damien Sandow (8) – Michael Cole and JBL made a great point (I know, don’t have a heart attack) but they pushed the storyline that since Sandow was one of the few to cash in the MitB case and loose, it would bring out a vicious and violent rage in Sandow.  You know what?  I like it.  It makes sense and gives us a motivation that Sandow can use to again try to chase the World Championship.  Who cares about subtle story telling.  Bash me over the head.  I’m a dumb wrestling fan.  All that I care is that Sandow has a direction and the proper motivation.    
13. Real Americans w/ Zeb (17) – I was surprised that the boos for The Americans weren’t bigger when they were first introduced.  Thanks to Zeb, he got the boo level up in a hurry.  You can make fun of their Queen.  You can make fun of their sports.  But when you insult the greatness of Mr. Bean, well sir, you’ve gone too far.  The Americans are a forgettable tag team but Zeb is starting to grow on me.  The more they push him to the outrageous and idiotic ramblings, the more I enjoy him.  “You know, if real Americans ran this country…” it would be called America, not England.  If you’re going to be a heel manager, be a total foolish heel manager.  Zeb is almost at the Vickie / Excuse Me point were no matter what is said, the crowd is going to boo.  That’s the type of heat that’s invaluable to a heel.  As far as matches go, The Americans put on an above average match but it’s clear that Cesaro is the standout wrestler between the Cesaro-Swagger-Cena threesome.  I can’t wait until The Real Americans break up so we can see what Cesaro can do on his own.  No one throws in that German Uppercut like Cesaro does, almost out of nowhere a few times per match.    
14. Vickie Guerrero (N/A) – EXUSE HER, but welcome to the Power Rankings.  The 14,000 mark fans in England played with Vickie excellently and vice-versa.  She got to a register so high, I’m throwing raw meat down the street to lure the coyotes away from house.  Her character works great with a smart audience.  It’s one of those gimmicks that if the whole crowd doesn’t get, then the bit falls flat.  Fortunately she had the crowd rocking it played great.  I’ve grown to love Vickie over the years.  After her husband’s death, which before she was never an on air personality, she’s been able to parlay her persona into a lengthly career.  But I’ll still defend my theory that she “knows where the dead bodies are hidden,” and Vince has kept her gainfully employed for the past eight years.  Give her credit, she makes the crowd pop (for good or bad) and while there are other females in the WWE who have youth and looks on their side, Vickie has found a way to become a valuable asset for the WWE.  For any of the younger Superstars (men and women) that complain about the WWE not giving them their shot, I give you Vickie Guerrero as example #1 of make something with the opportunities the WWE gives you.  Or just be married to someone that Vince / WWE may have tangentially contributed to their death and the death of their best friend who also killed his wife and son (i.e. Chris Benoit, who’s name has been all but erased from the WWE record books).  I’m not saying the WWE is connected to these things but they may have felt remorse and a responsibility to help Vickie out after the sudden death of her husband.  Also, after the Benoit tragedy, the WWE really started to crack down on steroid use and furthered precautions when it came to head trauma from things like chair-shots.  Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit were supposed best friends.  Of course there’s no proof but if you look at all the Divas, valets, managers / GM’s and even sideline reporter-types the WWE has hired, one of them doesn’t look the others.  Again, Vickie has earned her spot.  It’s just one of those things that make you go hmmm? 
15. R-Truth and Ryback (N/A & HM) – Sometimes, out of nowhere, there comes pairing and a match that you’d never expect to be good and turns out to be a highlight of the night.  I would have normally 4-timed through this match.  Unlike suffering through the Divas matches, this was a delight to sit through.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t HBK vs Undertaker but for a run-of-the-mill RAW singles match, it was pretty good.  I have no idea where this is going to lead or if this was just a way to get both wrestlers on the card and, more importantly, R-Truth to rap but it was a good match.  Critiquing and praising is the difference between a slap on the ass vs a slap up-side the head.
16. Korporate Kane and Brad Maddox (HM) – Well, someone has to run RAW tonight.  Maddox did his best to give the people what they want.  Leadership abhors a vacuum and with HHH and Stephanie out, you see the all the people come out of the woodwork to fill the empty space. Kane and his new title of Director of Operations, because why wouldn’t you give someone who supposedly murdered his family via arson and has had repeated mental issues a top level authoritative position, came down and seized control of RAW from Brad Maddox.  Maddox and Kane were surprisingly good together.  Let’s face it, Korporate Kane could have been a huge disaster but so far, he’s hitting all the right keys.   
17. Curtis Axel (18) – He came out with a spring in his step as if he wasn’t going to loose.  I gotta give Axel his due, he fought well and against all signs (and my hopes) he retained the IC belt.  He even had his moments against Ziggler.  He got the Ziggler-bump which can put anyone over in a match.  I haven’t been a fan and if Axel is going to keep the IC belt, he better step up his game.  It’s one thing to beat Ziggler, who’s going to make anyone look like a stud, but now Axel has to prove his skills against an opponent that put him over as cleanly.  Frankly, I’m still in shock that Axel won.
18. Dolph Ziggler (15) – If last week’s win over Curtis Axel was meant as an appetizer for Ziggler to win the Intercontinental Championship intercontinentally, then the WWE are geniuses!  “Not so fast…” as Lee Corso would say.  To my and the Manchester crowd’s shock, Ziggler lost his rematch against Axel for the IC belt.  I’m stunned.  The only person more frustrated than me has to be Ziggler himself.  What does he have to do to get a push!  He’s legit WWE or World Championship material but the WWE has him jobbing to Curtis Axel?!?  For the IC belt!??!!?  WTF?!?!  What are they planning on doing with Ziggler?  He definitely had the crowd on his side and he’s been primed for a run at something.  He gets enough of a pop that I can’t see him not being used.  This is baffling.  I guess all I can do is cross my fingers and hope that next week we see Ziggler doing something more substantial than using his great skills to put over the likes of Curtis Axel.  I haven’t been this down over the result of a wrestling match in quit a while.  If the WWE is looking to add to my angina, well done.
19. “The Union Jacks” aka 3MB (19) – They’re still cashing checks and wrestling on WWE TV so, yeah, I’m jealous of them, but they also still suck.  Although the idea of 3MB taking on the local persona of each city they go to might make me change my mind about them.   
20. Los Matadores w/ El Torito (20) – I guess if these morons could make it into the USA, they could easily make it into England.  I know this is horrible to say but Los Matadores make me wish Zeb and the Real Americans would come out and put an end to this nonsense.  

Honorable Mentions

Santino – SAN-TIN-OOOOO!!!!!  The first indignity was to team him up with Los Matadores.  The second indignity was to make him wear horns to coincide with El Torito.  The third, was to make his stupid sock gimmick also have bull horns.  The last was to make him ‘Ole with the stupid midget bull.  For god’s sake, he’s in Europe, you know he’s going to get a face pop.  Couldn’t they let the man at least have a real match?  Nope.  Does he say no to anything the creative team asks him to do?  Nope.  Fear not, I still love you Santino.  I know you’re better than this.  One day, I don’t know how or when but one day you will be WWE Champ.  On that day, I’ll be there cheering and telling everyone that I always believed in you.  Until then, KCC (keep cashing checks)!!!

Kofi Kingston ( ) – Not the best of nights for Mr. Kofi Kingston.  Seemed like the crowd was lukewarm to Kofi.  Then he got the pleasure of jobbing to Sandow.  Worst yet, they weren’t given a whole lot of time for a match and things never seemed to get rolling for Kofi.  I’d rather him be on RAW than not at all.  He was there to job for Sandow and put him over with a new twist to Sandow’s gimmick / storyline.  In that regard, he did his job (and that’s where the terms comes from ladies and gentlemen).      

Fandango – I’m not giving in to pier pressure and crowd reaction.  If I went by sheer crowd reaction, Fandango would have been in the top 10.  Fortunately I have control over my sense and realize when I’m being manipulated.  I’ll dance and point but it was a crap match which was only to further promote a show that I can’t stand 95% of, the Total Divas.  So, nice try WWE, but you can’t trick me.  HM is good enough for Fandango and his feud with Tyson Kidd.  Make it a real match, and then I’ll think about putting both in the top 20.

Zack Ryder – The Broski is the next in line to be the “QVC” host of the week.  He did a great job.  In fact, this small gimmick of having a new pitchman each week working surprisingly well.  I’d rather see this pitchman competition than any of the Divas matches.  

TeeJay aka Tyson Kidd – This is a chicken or the egg scenario.  Did this feud start because of Total Divas or did their feud start in Total Divas because they knew when it started to air on TV, they’d have a comeback feud with Fandango.  Fandango not a stranger to the Total Divas machine.  From the clip of seemingly fake outrage from TeeJay and Nattie, I believe it’s a total work.  These two have had more fake reality fights than any couple that since the Osborns.  There is a chance that this can springboard TeeJay back into a storyline which is fine if he and Fandango can put on a good product.  I’m not going to waste too much time breaking down this aspect of the WWE universe on a night when The Shield is going up against Punk and Bryan.  

Snuka vs D-cup-Bella – This is the bane of doing this Power Ranking.  I have to watch matches like this instead of fast forwarding through them.  These matches are forced upon us to make sure the WWE can promote Total Divas during the show.  Just in case we miss any of the commercials when fast forwarding.  Other than this match and the Natalya match there wasn’t too much selling of Total Divas, which was a bit surprising.  Up until now the WWE has been hammering it in our heads like HHH with a sledgehammer.  I get it.  They’re not doing this stuff for free and promotion is part of the game.  What I don’t understand is that AJ Lee is the champ and she could easily be in these matches or have more involvement on the mic.  The WWE is “burring the lead” as they would say in the newspaper business.  You know, newspapers, that stuff that kids light on fire and watch like a hypnotized moth during their pyro phase.  Oh, like I’m the only weirdo who lit things on fire when I was young?  Regardless, use AJ more.  That’s what everyone should be getting out of this rant.  More AJ.

Side Note(s)

There weren’t too many side notes this week.  My biggest gripes were with Ziggler jobbing for Axel and the burying of Bryan due to PPV buy-rates.  The crowd in England was great.  It seemed like the show was a lot of fun and they got one of the best endings of the year with the Survivor Series preview.  

I have no idea what next week will bring when the WWE “goes Country?”  I can only assume it means SAN-TIN-OOOOO will be in some ridiculous cowboy getup and doing some sort of ho-down nonesense.  If you could bet on wrestling that would be the “lock of the century, of the week.” (shout out to SVP & Russillo and Aqua Team Whatever…)  Why do I get the feeling that I’ll have the same look on my face watching WWE going Country as I do watching this girl dress up her snake?

Until next week…