WWE Power Rankings (New Year's Edition), RAW 12/30/2013

Coming at you live from Richmond, it’s the final RAW of the year.  The WWE is closing out the year with episode 1,075! 

First and foremost, THANK YOU to everyone who has read and supported this blog.  I appreciate everyone who’s taken the time to read the insanity that spews from my brain each week.  Something that was just a goofy writing exercise turned into a fun, challenging and exciting way for me to reconnect with something that I’ve loved for over 25 years.  

As with everyone and everything, time changes all…

We grow up.  We get jobs.  We quit jobs.  We make money.  We loose money.  Kids are born.  People die.  Friends come and go.  Relationships blossom and fade.  But every Monday, there’s always Wrestling.  Even in the world of wrestling there are good eras and bad.  Mondays that you have to watch just to see what’s going to happen next and other Mondays that you’ll be lucky to still be awake by the main event.

Sometimes I’ll goof on the lengths that the WWE will go to in order to insure a “new” show every Monday but the truth is, the “streak” is the best attribute the WWE has.  The WWE, come hell or high water, will give you a new show every Monday night.  I’m sure they’ll admit, not every week is a grand slam home run.  But there is never a question that from the guy sweeping up the floor to Vince McMahon himself they aren’t trying to entertain their audience.  

What other entertainment is on 52 weeks a year?  No sport, no movie, no television show can hold up to what the WWE provides.  There’s no harder working athletes / performers than the wrestlers.  The writers and crew that create, travel and put on the show have got to be the unsung heroes of the WWE Universe.  It’s amazing that week after week the show goes on without complete disaster.  The old saying of, “When you don’t notice them, they’re doing their jobs well,” is no better applied.  

This is all just to say that I love wrestling.  I wouldn’t bother nor would I be able to write 4,000 - 5,000+ words each Monday night / Tuesday morning if it wasn’t something that holds a deep place in my heart.  

2013 was a great start for this blog and I hope everyone will join me in 2014.  I’ll take a page from the WWE and always try new things and mix stuff up a little.  I’d love nothing more than to hear feedback and responses from anyone who reads this.  Tweet @wkbear or email me or leave comments. I know, you’re probably thinking that a big time A-list celebrity such as myself would never read or pay attention to anything you send and you’d just be wasting your time.  I assure you, it’s not like that.  I’ll always have the time for a fellow wrestling fan.  The Pope, Lady Gaga, LeBron James or Barak Obama might not reply to your messages but I am far greater than all of those people combined.  I care (maybe not “care” so much as I am willing to read) your thoughts and respond to them.  I genuinely respect and appreciate anyone who puts the time into reading eight pages of where each greased up, nearly naked men (and a few women) who throw each other around a squared-circle rank on a scale from 1 - 20 each week.  

Each week the audience grows and I can’t thank you enough.  The fact that even one person reads this blog, thrills and amazes me.  I’m truly grateful.  Please help me spread the word and share this with anyone else who may enjoy it.  

With that, I thank you all again.  I’m looking forward to a great wrestling year of 2014.  Let’s get into why we’re all here…

Once again, we’re all still pretty much on winter break.  I’m going to put aside the normal Power Rankings until next week.  Lest anyone think there won’t be rankings, oh…there will be rankings!  I actually did some thinking while pretending to enjoy the holidays with my friends and family.  I took some notes down to create a Top 5 Things I’d Change in Wrestling for 2014. 

1. Cut back the PPVs by at least THREE.  I know I’m not the first person to bring this up but it’s no doubt the easiest solution to fixing WWE storytelling.  At the same time, this is probably the hardest thing to do.  Why is it hard, simple my dear boy… MONEY!  While it’s easy for me to sit here and write, “There are too many PPVs,” let’s not forget why there are so many.  Money!  As we all know, the money decision will reign king above all else.  Even a lack luster PPV makes the WWE more money than the average Sunday “house” show they would be performing anyway.  The biggest gorilla in the room are the Cable and Satellite provider, who take home approximately 50% of the PPV.  That’s 50%, off the top.  This is a cash cow for the Providers.  I won’t belabor the in’s and out’s of business here but I’m sure all sides decided to go for this PPV schedule.  It wasn’t until later when the WWE production staff started to be handcuffed by writing towards a “major” show every three weeks, that the WWE is probably wishing they could cut back.  Again, it’s not like the WWE doesn’t want to make PPV money but it’s hard to establish characters and build up story lines when you only have three week cycles to tell your story and build said characters.  The short money maker is to put on more PPVs.  The long term money maker is to have characters and story lines that more of your audience will want to pay for, and at possibly a higher price.  Forget all the creative / story stuff for a second.  Each PPV is now $40-50 and is too expensive for the average fan to order one every three weeks.  Especially when the WM’s or Summer Slam’s are $60-70.  I’d be much more inclined to order every PPV at $50 or more if I knew I was getting a great PPV that’s been hyped properly and was every 5 to 6 weeks.  All this could be mute because of the potential WWE channel or Netflix-like distribution.  If the WWE could cut out (or down) the Provider costs and deals in exchange for a $10 - 20 per month subscription service where you get all the past, present and future shows on demand with behind the scenes, DVD’s, special features and throw in a half dozen of the smaller PPVs, then it wouldn’t be crazy to spend an additional $50 on WM, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble and Summer Slam (the big 4) on the standard Provider PPV.  2014 might be big for the WWE on and off camera if this is the year they actually move forward with their long purposed “WWE Channel.”  I’m sure we’ll be talking more about this as the year goes on.
2. Bring back a King of the Ring / Tournament to decide something big or to be the catalyst for a wrestler’s push.  One of my all-time favorite, and all-time worst, PPV memory was when Chris Jericho beat The Rock AND Stone Cold to become the first unified world champion.  I’m a Jericho fan but there’s no way, on God’s green earth, does Chris fucking Jericho beat The Rock and Stone Cold at their peaks.  No way!  If you can step back from the outcome, a case can be made that that was the best ending BECAUSE it got people so infuriated or solidified Jericho’s ability and whichever end of the spectrum you cheered for it’s a job well done by the writers to get you to the either end.  That being said, I’m still pissed.  But what’s done is done.  My point is, a one night / multiple match tournament can be awesome.  The matches leading up to the semi-final and final rounds can involve current story lines and more often give birth to new story lines.  These earlier rounds can even be played out weeks prior and set up other matches on the same PPV as the final round(s).  Even better, have the winner of the tournament go on to fight the current champion.  This is getting me pumped up right now!  Secondly, here’s the list of names who have been “King of the Ring”; Don Muraco, Harley Race, Randy Savage, Ted DiBiase, Tito Santana, Bret Hart (twice), Owen Hart, Mabel, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, Ken Shamrock, Billy Gunn, Kurt Angle, Edge, Brock Lesnar, Booker T, William Regal, Sheamus.  Not a bad list to be on.  I’m not going to say the current writing feels stale because there’s good stuff happening but we don’t have a major event that can take over the WWE like King of the Ring or a championship tournament.  It’s always nice to mix it up once a year, which is probably why the Royal Rumble has lasted so long and is so beloved no matter what state the WWE is in.  Every event feels set in stone and the writing needs to dance around it.  For instance, everything needs to build to WM.  Then it’s a little dead but we have Money in the Bank and eventually things build to Summer Slam.  It’s a mad dash for Survivor Series and Royal Rumble and then back to the Road to WM.  King of the Ring or a tournament could fall anywhere on the calendar.  You could even incorporate the finals into a PPV theme.  For instance, the finals this year could have easily culminated at Hell in a Cell or TLC match.  Boom!  I just made two boring PPVs into something you’d have to watch.
3. Bring back the #1 contender.  I went on a huge diatribe recently on how much I’ve hated matches that end with a champion cleanly being defeated by a challenger YET the championship doesn’t change hands.  The simplest reason is that there is no Number 1 contender.  The main culprit was because you had two “championship” belts (the WWE and the World) but in fact, the WWE was the top tier champ while the World acted as the second tier champ.  You had to win the World before you could go on to fight for the WWE (generally).  This has been unconsciously been fixed by the recent unification.  I got into an argument regarding these clean wins with “The Oracle” Freddie D., who didn’t mind the clean wins and saw that as the right of passage to declare the person fit for an actual championship match.  I chalk it up to the lack of depth of the WWE roster and with two championships there’s not a lot of space for #1 contender matches.  “Back in my day…” you had to earn your championship match by beating all the other contenders.  Then you could make a case to fight the champion.  It involved multi-level story telling.  The champ could be in one feud while the challenger was rising the ranks against other wrestlers.  When the champs current feud was over, it would transition easily into the #1 contender matchup.  If the writers wanted that feud it was ready or the #1 contender could hang around and always be in play at a moment’s notice.  We’ll have to see how this new Unified Championship that RKO is walking around with plays out through WM.  
4. Make the Slammy Awards its own special show.  I talked about this on the 12/09/2013 RAW Power Rankings.  The WWE is always looking for the next best way to promote itself and The Slammys are just as self promoting as the MTV Music / Movie awards or how the Oscars are a four hour commercial for seeing movies.  NBC just had one of their special WWE shows, A Tribute to the Troops.  WWE and NBC have a few shows per year and I don’t see why the Slammys could be treated like a real awards show and show extend clip packages of the best of the year instead of putting on new matches.  NBC will take the audience and get to re-air known top quality wrestling programming (just highlights from the “match of the year” nominees could fill an hour) and the WWE gets a piece of major network time.  Neither one having to put in a lot of money or risk.  Seems like a win-win to me.
5. Tweak Total Divas.  That’s right, I’m coming out in favor of Total Divas.  Just not the way it’s presented now.  Seeing the moderate success of Total Divas and having watched every episode myself, I can tell you right now how to fix Total Divas (or even add to it) which will satisfy the non wrestling audience the WWE is looking to capture on E! and include the current weekly wrestling audience it gets on Monday night.  The best part of Total Divas is the few honest moments we get to see with the male wrestlers.  It’s because the “Divas” portions are the standard produced reality TV, while the interactions with the Superstars are genuine moments, for the most part.  The Daniel Bryan proposal was a little produced but I’ll let that slide because of the fact it’s a wedding proposal and if Bryan wants to use the production available to him to do something big, who am I to say no to love?  Whether it’s the small moments between Bryan and his Bella or the time one of the Funkadactyls needed to get real life advice from Brodus Clay or even the few times we see of Fandango, those are the moments I’ll put up with 55 minutes of crap to get the 5 minutes of actual reality.  Even seeing Cena kinda being a douche but really just being a guy who has been totally screwed over by women, is a great insight and the behind the scenes that true wrestling fans want to see.  I understand the basis of the show is to push the Divas.  If that part is truly necessary, keep the show as is but add 15 to 30 minutes of the Divas interacting with the male superstars.  You don’t even need the cutaway scenes when you get the persons re-telling or commenting on whatever event just happened because that’s the fake / over produced stuff.  Just include more dinners, car rides and at home alone moments where the wrestlers are loose and are talking about matches or their day or their lives.  The person that comes off best on Total Divas is the Uso brother (I think it’s Jay?).  He seems like a cool, fun loving guy who’s a little over protective of his fiancé but who wouldn’t be when you know the history of relationships in the WWE.  That’s the most speaking time any Uso has received in their tenure at the WWE.  Along with incredible in-ring work, Jay’s personality on Total Divas that has propelled the Usos on regular WWE programming.  While it would be great to have real commentary from the Superstars, that’s too much “pulling back the curtain” and they’ll more likely to bundle that onto a DVD which they’ll sell rather than give it away on E!.

Back on RAW for 12/30/2013, we actually had some stuff go down.  A lot of good wrestling and only a bit of story telling.  It’s interesting that the story that’s been dragged along these past few shows is the Daniel Bryan / Wyatt Family feud.  I guess I was wrong last week, when I thought that Bryan was going into another direction.  Just as I was wrong when I got an emergency text to watch Smackdown for the Sheild’s individual matches against Big E, Mark Henry and John Cena.  I thought that this was a sign that The Shield was going to stick together a bit longer because they’ve been pushing this “Year of the Shield,” but on RAW we got more cracks in The Shield stuff.  

If I was doing the traditional power rankings this week, I’d have the hardest time figuring out what to do with The Shield.  Together they’re awesome.  Between last week’s Smackdown and tonight’s RAW, they’ve been equally awesome in singles action.  Major props to the WWE for showcasing Seth Rollins as a singles wrestler.  His talent is undeniable but he had the biggest question mark to whether he’d make it on his own.  He answered that bell twice with a FANTASTIC match against Cena on Smackdown and a solid match with Punk on RAW.  Over the next few months, while the WWE walks the tightrope with breaking up The Shield, it’s going to be hard to go back and forth in ranking The Shield as a unit or individually.  Depending on how they succeed over time as individuals, and reunite from time to time, The Shield may go down as the best tag teams ever.  It’s way to early to make such proclamations but they’ve proven they had go against anyone in the ring and they’re proving their mic skills (especially Ambrose) and soon as individuals.  

Back to Bryan and The Wyatt Family.  The WWE are no fools and they wouldn’t submarine a crowd exploding favorite like Bryan just to be a role player as part of the Wyatts.  My guess is that this will play on and eventually Bryan will exact his revenge on Bray Wyatt.  It’s not rocket science.  With the revelation that we’ll see Cena vs RKO once again at Royal Rumble, Bryan wasn’t getting included into that mix so the WWE will have him toil in this odd feud with The Wyatts until, I’m guessing, Cena walks away with the Unified belt.  Then it will be time to get Bryan back into the mix.  This is another time when I’m best to consult The Oracle because I’m horrible at predicting the future of such things.  

Meanwhile Ziggler might have finally been freed from his year long punishment because he finally got a well deserved win, albeit against the walking corpse of Curtis Axel but hey, i’m sure he’s take the win.  I’ll predict 2014 is a much better year for Ziggler.  Especially if he gets into a feud with his former protege, Big E Langston.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that would be an incredible feud.  

Evil Gerald Butler AKA #BadNewsBarrett AKA Wade Barrett was slightly more entertaining this week by popping up and putting the kibosh on the New Year’s spinnaroonie (sp?).  Yet another wrestler on my top 5 that need a push in 2014 but that’s only going to happen if he gets his ass in the ring and wrestles.  

Brock Lesnar is back.  More intriguingly, Heyman is back.  So that’s a thing…I guess?  Lesnar is a spectacle and does put on solid matches but he’s no Undertaker or even The Rock were time stops just because he’s back for 3 months of paychecks.  I’d be interested in seeing Lesnar vs Henry but I have a feeling that what we saw on RAW was just to prove how strong Lesnar is instead of setting up a feud between the two. 

Who’d have thought that Fandango would prove to be a force to reckon with in-ring.  Stupid gimmick aside, Fandango brings in.  He’s a character to watch in 2014 because he’s going to be standout in-ring but god knows what they’re going to do with his character.  Shitty gimmicks only have so high a ceiling no matter how good a wrestler someone is.

Speaking of breaking free from shit gimmicks, Brodus Clay is going into full monster form.  By the end, when Xavier Wood / R-Truth / The Funkadactyls were all dancing in the ring, all I wanted was to see Clay go back and wreck shop on each and everyone in that ring.  Add Sweet-Tensai to the mix too.  I don’t care.  Let the beast loose!  

Well while we’re at it, let’s do another list…

Wrestlers that should have a great / transformative 2014:

1. The Shield members – I know 2013 was the Year of The Shield but 2014 should see how they’ll each do individually.  With Rollins’ recent showcase, there’s nothing holding each member back from doing great things in 2014.  Don’t forget, they’ll still be fighting together as The Shield for in the beginning of the year too.  There’s nothing wrong with that.
2. Dolph Ziggler – He’s been buried and humiliated all year.  From Champ to chump.  He’s jobbed to everyone the WWE has put in front of him and he’s done it like a pro.  Even in his worst defeats, he’s gone out and put on a great show and put each wrestler he jobs to over splendidly.  If he’s out of the dog house, he should be someone to watch.
3. Big E Langston – Big E has already gotten a huge push but he’s got the size and skill that the WWE likes to have in their main events.  I don’t know if the audience is quite ready for him to become a main event-er but by teaming him up with Cena and tagging him up with Mark Henry, it looks like they’re trying to continue a massive push.
4. Brodus Clay – Finally becoming a heavyweight beast.  Is there anyone, over the age of 9 - 12, that doesn’t want to see Clay become a heel?  He should be a destructive force in the WWE this year.
5. Cody Rhodes – If we are to have a brother vs brother match between Cody and Goldust, I’ll put my money on Cody winning.  He’s the better long-term investment for the WWE (even though you won’t find a bigger mark for Goldust than me).  They’ve been great as tag champs but eventually they’ll break up.  It’s uncertain how long Goldust will keep going but Cody is in his prime.  Once he enters the singles game, assuming he comes off a great feud with his brother, it will be interesting what direction he goes in.
6. The Usos – This is my bonus pick.  The Usos have been great but as I keep mentioning, they haven’t been given too much to do as far as character development.  To last in wrestling, you not only have be outstanding in-ring but the crowd has to want to see you each week.  The Real Americans might not be the best tag team but with Zeb doing the talking, they can be put into various feuds because they can always be a villain.  It’ll be hard for the Usos to stay as faces if they never talk.

Alright y’all.  That should do it for me this year.  I’m so excited for 2014.  I think we’re on the presuppose of the next great era for wrestling.  It has been a while since the WWE has been really great.  Things were looking bleak but CM Punk’s “pipe bomb shoot” light the fuse for a new direction.  While nothing exploded onto the scene like Punk did in throughout 2012, 2013 saw the rise of some really solid characters and wrestlers.  Wrestling’s pot has been sitting on the stove and all the ingredients have been added and we’re just about to start boiling.  

What better way to start 2014 than with an “Old School RAW” which we’ve been teased to have Ric Flair make an appearance, WHOOOOOOOOO!  Don’t forget we’re just weeks away from the Royal Rumble, which is always fun.

Until next time…

WWE Power Rankings (Xmas vacation edition), RAW 12/23/2013

Coming at you from Austin (not Houston) for the not-so-live Christmas edition of RAW.  RAW was pre-taped last week so that the cast and crew could have the week off.  If the Superstars get a week off, so do the Power Rankings.  Besides, how do you really rank things like the Battle of Good and Bad Santa?  Well, I guess it’s not too different from the regular craziness of RAW storytelling. Regardless, we’ll put the Power Rankings on the back burner and do some year end cleanup.  

Even with all the holiday nonsense, RAW was pretty good.  Knowing that everything tonight was tongue-in-cheek, the wrestlers were free to just wrestle and have a little fun.  Goes to show that not everything needs hours and hours of set up and effort to put on a fast paced and fun event.

These are just some random topics to end the year on.  Next week I’ll try to look ahead to 2014 but this week let’s finish off 2013 with a little housecleaning of topics.  

There was a bit of business that still lingered from current story lines with Daniel Bryan and The Wyatt Family.  The good part was an excellent match between Bryan, Cody and Goldust vs The Wyatts.  The bad part was that I couldn’t tell if this was the WWE trying to set free Bryan from the Wyatt storyline or the WWE trying to reinforce the continuance of Bryan possibly “becoming” a Wyatt?  Who cares, it’s Xmas and the match was worth the three segments it got.  

In what was the surprise of the night, the Divas match was really good.  You heard me, I said it.  The Divas match was really good…until they got to the inevitable / mandatory promotion of Total Divas, which isn’t even airing nor will be airing until March.  The finishing Diva-go-round spot was awful.  Not only was it stupid but the Divas involved couldn’t pull it off without falling all over themselves.  The first 7/8ths of the match contained some of the best wrestling of the night.  AJ was excellent on the mic the entire length of the match as guest announcer with Cole and JBL.  BTW, not a good sign for The King’s future when; a) he’s not on a taped show from last week because he was “on Christmas vacation”, b) this really seemed like a test run for just having JBL and Cole, and c) JBL and Cole did a fine job.  I’ll admit, Lawler has been adequate as part of the three man announce team but it’s clear that The King has far less shows in front of him than behind.  If I were a gambling man, I’d put the over / under that The King still being part of the weekly announce team on this same time next year.  2014 seems like the end of the road for The King.  We’ll have to check in next December.

Now, just because we’re not doing the Official World’s Greatest Power Rankings this week, doesn’t mean I don’t like to rank things.  There’s always time to rank.  Here’s a mini ranking that I came up with.  

Wrestlers that need a push in 2014:

5) CM Punk – I know this sounds crazy but hear me out.  Punk has been out of any championship scene since he dropped the WWE belt.  While he’s one of the most popular Superstars, he’s been on his own island for the better part of the year.  He had his big feud with Heyman, which included runs against Ryback and Curtis Axel, but he’s been as far from the main event as SAN-TIN-OOOOOOOO has been this last half of the year.  He can only go so far being in CM Punk land.  The best part about his recent feud with The Shield is that he was wrestling with alike talent and putting on good matches.  I realize there are rumors that put him in a feud with HBK or HHH or both which will lead up to something at WM30 but until that happens or I see more, Punk is in limbo.

4) Wade Barrett – In just two or three weeks, I’m already done with #BadNewsBarrett.  We can move on now.  Barrett has the ability to be a top tier guy.  I’d say he’s even got a clearer path than someone like Alberto Del Rio, who is probably his equal in-ring but Barrett has an easier path to being a heel.  #BadNewsBarrett isn’t working and we need to see him in the ring.  We’ve just seen it with RKO.  Some guys are natural heels.  They don’t need too much tinkering.  The more they messed with RKO the worse of a heel he was (see the mentally unstable viper days).  RKO has flourished at just being a prick.  Barrett can flourish the same way.

3) AJ Lee – The only current Champion on this list.  AJ has a lot of potential right now.  She’s on the verge of having the longest Divas title reign, which the WWE is now pushing.  Say what you will about the Divas division, which you know that I do and it’s usually not kind, but it’s getting better.  The Divas are putting on some interesting matches.  AJ has been great on the mic.  Whether it was her “pipe-bomb” from earlier this year or her time at the announce table, AJ has been great.  The problem is that she’s been hampered by a few injuries and the WWE’s need to write towards the Total Divas show, which AJ is not a personality on.  Since Total Divas isn’t on for another few months, this is a chance to let AJ be front and center.  The writers can focus on her current title reign and push the quality of matches that the Divas division has been putting on.

2) Kofi Kingston – Kofi is the most athletic person on the roster.  He also has one of the worst gimmicks, if you can even call what he’s got a gimmick.  He’s got no storyline or feud.  I thought he was beginning a feud with The Miz but that was nonexistent.  Hopefully it had more to do with Miz being absent than another change in direction.  While I wouldn’t want to end my career with a feud with Miz, it’s better than a kick in the balls.  Definitely better than doing nothing.  

Although I might change my signature hand move if I were Kofi, just maybe?

1) Dolph Ziggler – Any reader will know how much I cheer for Ziggler.  He must have done something to piss of someone with power because he’s been jobbing hard for the past six months and was in off the radar completely right before that.  Remember, it was only about a year ago that Ziggler was the World Champ!  He’s the one who shepherded in Big E and AJ to their current championship spots.  Now Ziggler is jobbing to Fandango in a “pole match”.  Ziggler is the best pure wrestler on the roster and can put anyone over.  He brings his “A” game every night.  The only hint that he may be in line for a decent feud is that twice now he’s jobbed to someone who is to go on to fight Big E for the IC belt.  If that’s true, that could build up tension for Ziggler to finally win his chance to challenge Big E for the IC belt at a PPV.  A Ziggler / Big E feud would be great.  It’s hard to go wrong with a Master / Student storyline, especially when both men can wrestle.  Add in that one is seen as a ring technician (Ziggler) and the other is a powerhouse (Big E) and you have a nice contrast there as well.  As I was putting this together, I was getting myself more and more excited for a potential Ziggler / Big E feud.  C’mon WWE, give us what we want! 

And now, for something completely different.  Someone has to show me this Sin Cara comic book I keep hearing about.  I read a lot, A LOT, of comic books and I ain’t never seen no Sin Cara comic book.  And who cares, should be the first question?  Just because the WWE says something is true, doesn’t mean it is.  Just like the WWE says this Sin Cara I’m watching is the same Sin Cara from previous years.  Who am I to believe, the WWE storytellers or my own lying eyes?  

Next up, cross promotions.  I don't know if this is feasible but the next evolution in WWE promotion should be “awarding” championship belts to people.  The WWE showed pictures of Clayton Kershaw (the greatest living pitcher and current Dodger ace) and Max Scherzer.  Both of whom won the MLB Cy Young trophy this year for the best pitcher in the National and American leagues.  The WWE sent them championship belts as a nod to their great accomplishment.  They each took pictures at home with them and tweeted the out.  We’re living in a world where it would be almost impossible for someone to grow up and not at least have a passing knowledge of the WWE and the fact that its champion wears a big gaudy belt.  Hell, the Aaron Rodgers “discount double check” comes from the old school championship motion started in wrestling years ago.  And since it’s not a real championship belt you have to win, like a boxing belt (which there’s a strong debate on the validity of those belts but that’s an argument for another day) or an MMA belt, you can easily receive a duplicate / personalized belt and parade around with it as a sign of being the best.  Sure, anyone can now buy an authentic WWE championship belt, but no one can be given one by the WWE.  If the WWE were to send out yearly awards or randomly throughout the year to people who accomplish awesome things, they could inject themselves into hot pop culture phenomenons or special real life events.  This could be a great means of promotion.  I’m sure the WWE already does this or would do it for anyone who’d ask but the WWE should lay claim on handing out these belts.  Peyton Manning, here’s your championship belt for being sportsman of the year, congrats.  Jennifer Lawrence, you killed it in multiple movies in 2013 and won an Oscar this year, here’s your championship belt, congrats.  Limit it to 3 - 5 max, so as not to dilute the specialness.  It can be fun.  It can be serious.  This feels like a no brainer and probably something the WWE already tries to do, but I’m suggesting it anyway.  I say own the idea, make it bigger and incorporate it as part of the Slammies or during a big PPV.  Give one to a soldier on their “Tribute to the Troops” show.

Lastly, the WWE tag division.  The WWE will be the first to tell you that their tag division is in its best shape in years.  There was a time, not so long ago, that the WWE was actually thinking of getting rid of the tag team belts.  With a renewed emphasis and dedication to forming actual tag teams vs super teams of singles wrestlers being thrown together, the tag ranks are on fire.  There’s no better example than the Usos vs Primetime Players match on RAW.  Both teams are excellent in-ring.  Neither has the tag straps, those are resting in the hands of the Rhodes brothers, but both could easily be champs tomorrow and it would be well deserved.  Both the Usos and Primetime Players are underused and haven’t come close to their creative ceilings.  The Usos still have not give a proper promo as I can recall.  The Primetime Players have had a chance to get on the mic and have built up a semi-popular gimmick, which I can’t really describe but I know I like watching them.  The Usos in particular never put on a bad match.  They’ve had standout performances even when matched up against The Shield.  And no mention of the tag division can be concluded without mentioning The Shield.  They might have been the beginning of the tag renaissance.  Since The Shield came into the WWE a year ago we now have at least six, ready to go tag teams that can take the championship mantle.  The Shield, The Wyatt Family, Cody and Goldust, The Primetime Players and The Usos are at the top of the list while lesser groups such as The Real Americans, Los Matadores, and 3MB are not teams that I enjoy but are serviceable and can put on a quality match.  We’re not even mentioning the singles wrestlers that have been put together which have the potential of being quality tag teams, i.e. Big Show / Rey Mysterio, Mark Henry / Big E Langston and R-Truth / Xavier Woods.  We even a glimpse at a possible Bryan / Punk super-team.  The tag ranks have been killing it all year.  With the inevitable breakup and showdown between the Rhodes brothers, the tag belts will be up for grabs sooner than later.  This might be the golden era for tag teams.  I’m sure I’ll get lots of teams thrown at me as “better” teams / champions but I’m talking about across the entire tag team division.  I know the Horsemen, DX, Road Warriors, Demolition, NWO and others may have been better than anyone one tag team now (I’d say that The Shield could make their way on that best ever debate) but I don’t recall the depth of the roster being as strong as it is now.  Please feel free to comment and correct me.

With that, I’ll leave all of you to a Merry Christmas.  Be safe and have fun over this holiday week.  And look forward to this next week:

Until next week…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 12/16/2013

Coming at you from Dallas, off the heels of a spectacularly unspectacular TLC PPV.  Last night’s PPV had the promise of a Bryan Singer X-Men movie but the creative imagination of Brett Ratner X-Men movie.  There were no twists or turns and unlike previous PPVs, which I’ve complained about the lack of conclusive finishes, every TLC match had very definitive finishes.  The problem was, they were all disappointing or expected.  With multiple 3-on-1 matches, a unification match and the appearance of Vince McMahon himself; I was sure that there was going to be multiple interferences or involvement by outside factors but in the end nothing happened.  The only two “surprises” were that Ziggler was buried even further by loosing to Fandango and RKO won the main event with a fairly clean finish to claim the unified championship.  While the main event scored a 2 out of 5, RKO should get a special thanks for sparing us from a Super Cena moment that we would have had to watch a highlight of from now until the end of time had Cena won.  Cena, handcuffed to the ropes, somehow broke down the ring with his Super Cena strength and then carried the ring-ropes on his back and almost one handedly brought down the belts to win.  Luckily this farce was ended by a tug-o-war between RKO and Cena which resulted in a pretty nasty bump taken by Cena’s head on the end of a table.  Even after the match, the whole McMahon / HHH crew came out only to congratulate RKO on his victory.  No shenanigans.  No surprises.  Only shattered dreams of what TLC matches used to look like.  Hopefully with the reappearance of Mr. McMahon, we’ll get some fun twists and a clearer picture to what the Royal Rumble or possibly WM30 will look like.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 12/16/2013…

1. Randy Orton (7) – Our new unified champion entered the ring like a spoiled brat who whined enough to finally got what he wanted.  For those of you who dislike the RKO outcome, let me point out that he won the belts cleanly without interference.  I didn’t vote for George Bush but he won and he was my president (something the current GOP doesn’t adhere too when it comes to Obama but that’s for a different discussion).  RKO is our Champion!  Flanked by both his main competitors, Cena and Bryan, RKO gloriously came to the ring to bask in the glory of being the champ.  I’ve read some call him boring or stiff when on the mic but I couldn’t agree less.  RKO is a great heel, he’s also a great main even wrestler which is an underrated skill, but RANDY ORTON isn’t Ric Flair or CM Punk or Stone Cold.  Those are special actors who’ll go down in history.  RKO is a great heel, in his own way.  He’s not the fun or flashy or anti-establishment heel.  He’s playing the spoiled brat prick which is the hardest heel to pull off.  Unfortunately he also has to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to the boring parts of the story.  As you can see from the main event on RAW, when he’s given a strong wrestling opponent like Bryan, he brings his “A” game.  BTW, what’s the deal with the different color plastic rings RKO was wearing throughout the night?  I can’t be the only one who noticed, can I?  All I know is THIS IS YOUR CHAMP, LICK IT NERDS… 
   
2. Daniel Bryan (1) – With help from Cena, Bryan got another match against RKO.  The two put on another solid match.  I can’t tell if I should be mad that I wasted interest in Bryan’s feud with the Wyatts or happy that it seems to have ended and Bryan is back at main event status?  Who knows.  It’s still too soon after the PPV and far from the Rumble to really get a good bead on which direction Bryan is going.  On another note, I admit that I fall prey to perception just like everyone else.  I don’t know if it’s the fact Bryan is always smiling and breaking character or the silly beard gimmick or the contagious YES YES YES chant, but I’m always forgetting how well Bryan can wrestle.  He proved it once again in a solid main event.
3. John Cena (2) – Love him or hate him (I’ll stand in the second line) he does have charisma on the mic.  Which is odd because on Total Divas he’s either an empty soulless shell of a person outside of the WWE world or hates being on that stupid reality show (again, I’ll be counted in the second line).  While I appreciate Cena’s help to get Bryan the main event match, why is Cena being pushed down out throats?  Bryan can clearly take on RKO and win.  I guess that’s a dumb question.  Cena’s being pushed down our throats because it’s Cena.  The WWE feels they need to always have him involved in the main event.  Example #874,291 that Cena is truly “The Face of the WWE.” 
4. The Shield (3) – The seeds of dissension have been planted and we now have a good idea of what the break-up will look like.  Before they break up, The Shield still has some unfinished business to get to.  All signs of a break-up were put to the back burner for the night.  It’s unclear is how we’re going to get this fabled Shield vs Wyatt feud for WM30?  Stranger and harder matches have been thrown together between past Rumbles and WMs.  We’ll just have to see.  But the inevitable break-up will not be happening tonight.  The Shield came back together and got the win in a great match against Punk and The Usos.  
5. CM Punk (4) – Punk being directionless, in an odd 3-on-1 fight with The Shield and winning a 3-on-1 against The Shield is all preposterous.  If the WWE is going to make that up with a match between HBK and Punk, I’ll let it all slide!  How awesome would one more match for HBK be with Punk at WM30.  I’ve read rumors about a possible Punk / HHH feud, which seemed like reality last night but then it was HBK that came to ring.  Maybe it was because RAW was in Dallas and what better way to tease the fans than by having HBK drive from his home to show up on RAW.  I like to think positively and hope that we get and Punk / HBK or Punk / HHH or even a Punk / HHH / HBK match at WM30.  Let’s not forget, Punk and The Usos put on a great match against The Shield.  Just to get something clear, Punk by himself can beat The Shield but when you add a top 3 tag team to help him, The Shield wins?  I’ll be working that one out in my head all week.
6. The Usos (8) – For still not having said a word on TV (as far as I can remember) I can’t believe how happy I was that the Usos were Punk’s partner vs The Shield.  I couldn’t believe that the WWE universe made such a good “choice” (see, don’t we all wish we knew how to type out sarcasm, if only we could figure this out…).  I don’t see why this couldn’t have been the match on the PPV?  It was a great match.  
7. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (5) – True fighting champions.  They never get to cut any promos so all they’re left to do is fight, which I’m fine with since they’ve been so spectacular in the ring.  You couldn’t ask for two completely opposite opponents in Show and Rey.  To be able to put on a good match goes with such diverse opponents shows you how great of a tag team The Rhodes boys are.  Although they lost is a clean / fair tag match and didn’t loose the belts.  While I’m glad the Rhodes kept the belts, this is a big issue for me, see the Side Notes for more.  Other than that, they’re the Tag Champs and I expect more good matches.  You know, before they inevitably turn on each other and put on the greatest blood vs blood match at WM30.  I’m just saying.
8. Big Show / Rey Mysterio (N/A) – Both good in small doses and what better way to show that than as a tag duo against Goldust and Cody.  Good match.  This odd couple works well together.  They may not have a catchy name or gimmick but I can see them doing damage in the tag division.  Tell me who you’d rather see; Show and Rey or Los Matadores / 3MB / Real Americans?  Nuff said.  Also, they should be champs right now, see my complaint in Side Notes.  
9. HHH / Stephanie (6) – I was very surprised that Vince didn’t make an appearance.  This has either been Vince’s greatest tease or laziest run.  When was the last time Vincent K McMahon made an actual appearance and did nothing and it meant nothing!?  It’s all very suspect.  At the same time, what am I to believe?  The internet rumors or my own lying eyes?  To the layman, it seems like the McMahons / HHH are dropping the ball but I feel there is something smoldering under the surface that we haven’t seen yet.  HHH and Stephanie opened the show, had the entire roster out and (with a little encouraging from Cena) gave us a nice main event.  I’m sorry, it’s all too clean and nice.  There’s something going on!  I can feel it.  Damn you wrestling!  
10. Big E Langston and Mark Henry (12/HM) – Big E was triumphant at TLC in defending the IC title against Sandow.  I don’t understand why he’s re-teaming with Mayback Music Henry but I was intrigued by the idea a few weeks ago when they teamed up.  During the match, the announcers correctly referred to the abundance of great tag teams right now, and as much as I’d like to see where this literal super-heavyweight team goes.  The fact is Big E is the IC champ.  As such, I’d like to see the IC belt defended.  I don’t know, maybe against his former mentor Ziggler?!  The Heavyweight strap is on Ambrose and until The Shield breaks up, I don’t think he’s loosing it (I think that will be one of the reasons that contribute to the breakup, i.e. Rollins / Reigns costs Ambrose the belt somehow) the IC belt is the only other championship floating around at the moment.  When Big E drops that belt, that’s when you put him with Henry for the World’s Strongest Tag Team.
11. Dolph Ziggler (HM) – The only positive to having repeat matches from the prior night’s PPV (another top 5 thing I’d change) is that when a match doesn’t go the way you want, there’s a chance for a do-over.  Ziggler got a chance to avenge his loss against Fandango.  With a much shorter match, but much better outcome, Ziggler finally won a match.  I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this is the next step towards bigger and better things, and not another gimmick rematch feud like he had with Sandow.  
12. Brodus Clay and Sweet-T (15) – Is there anything that really needs to be said with these two?  Brodus Clay is taking steps toward being a tough heel, which is what he should have been from the start, and Sweet-T will be his first victim.  Few people past the age of nine will shed a tear for the end of Tons of Funk.  The Funkadactyls will be free to roam the land and do whatever it is Funkadactyls do.  Maybe they go back to their pack of Toronto Raptor cheerleaders.  (That was a lazy joke but it’s late and if you really care about the future of the Funkadactyls you should be reevaluating your sports entertainment fandom.)
13. The Wyatt Family (9) – I don’t know what the big deal is, we’ve all gotten stoned and  talked to invisible relatives in old rocking chairs.  All I want to know is what they’re taking so I can get high off the same stuff.  Those Wyatts are some big dudes and if they’re all THAT stoned, I want me some of that.  I hope Bray’s lack of in-ring performing has been due to injury because he’s been great when he’s gotten the chance to wrestle.  Rowan and Harper are fine big men but Bray is really solid.  He was the standout of their TLC match against Bryan, which is something to be said.  Yet again, all they did was put on a simple promo on RAW.  That’s just not good enough after all these months.  I need to see some in-ring action to really rank you near the top.  They might be in limbo if the WWE has switched gears and put Bryan back into the main event scene.  Much like Bryan, we’ll have to see what happens.  Let’s not forget, we also want to see Wyatt vs Shield at WM30 and they’re a good deal away from that match up.  
14. R-Truth and Xavier Woods (HM) – Do I really hate dancing or do I just wanna dance, dance, dance like no one’s watching?  Look, Mr. Woods, I know you’re new to this game but you can’t steal a man’s Funkadactyls and music and not expect repercussions.  We were oh so close to tonight being the night of Woods and Truth, shuckin’ and jivin’.  I also thought that putting Woods in regular clothes would make him look less BaBaBooey-ish and less depressed-70’s-pornstar-ish but alas, nothing can make Woods look any better.  Woods looks even worse in normal clothes.  Now let’s get to R-Truth.  If you’re going to wear a nice suit and tie and clean up, take off that damn do-rag.  We’re days away from it being 2014.  Take that stupid thing off when dressed like an adult.  When you have your wrestling spanks on, you can wear whatever you want.  I hate to sound like David Stern of the early 2000’s but let’s class it up a little. 
15. Fandango w/ Summer Rae (19) – after an unwanted win against Ziggler (unwanted by me, I’m sure Fandango was happy about the win at a PPV), Ziggler and Fandango ran back their match from the night before.  Fortune favors the bold and tonight Ziggler was the bold.  Mr. Fandango, can feel free to enjoy the warm embrace of Summer Rae as he recovers from the loss suffered by the might of Ziggler!
16. Real Americans w/ Zeb (20) – Cannon fodder for what looks to be one of the most devastating teams in the WWE right now.  You’d almost feel sorry for The Americans for the beating they took if they weren’t such losers.  The only team I’d have rather seen get destroyed but the new powerhouse team of Big E / Henry is Los Matadores.  I’m a little surprised that being in Texas, the WWE didn’t have something about The Real Americans protecting the USA from Los Matadores.  How did you not jump all over that racial train wreck?  You’re slippin’ WWE.  I expect less from you… Special shout-out to Cesaro for picking up Big E and giving his version of a German Suplex.  As always, I’ll give credit where credit is due no matter what I feel about the character.  That was much more impressive than the spin move Cesaro’s been exhibiting of late.  Oh, and then there was the Swagger Roar...
    
17. Ryback and Curtis Axel (20) – As predicted, both wrestlers’ stock has fallen since venturing out from under Heyman’s protective wing and feuding with Punk.  As your financial advisor, if you haven’t already sold your Ryb-Axel shares do it now.  Otherwise, hold for the long term and hope for a rebranding that will send either of their stock back up.  Luckily there was a Divas match and I need to give Barrett a kick in the ass, otherwise these two would have been at the bottom again.  Be carefully Ryb-Axel, if the Divas continue to step it up and Barrett actually gets into the ring, they’ll leap over you quite easily.
18. #BadNewsBarrett (N/A) – This is a nice little gimmick and all, but let’s get Barrett into the ring and get him fighting.  He’s certainly on the level of ADR, Ziggler, Sandow, Big E and the other second tier wrestlers.  The best way to win over the crowd is to cut good promos and have good matches.  This odd hashtag / roasting is not going anywhere.  He’s a heel.  Got it.  Get in the ring and fight.  The insanely low rank for this fine wrestler is mainly to give him a kick in the ass.  He's much better than these other bottom dwellers, just go out and prove it and I’ll bump you up, Mr. Barrett.
19. The Divas Match (HM) – Now that the season is over for the Total Divas show, I thought we were done pushing these broads.  What does AJ have to do to finally get the push she’s deserved?  We’ve got a few months until March and the return of Total Divas.  I hope AJ will get a few decent matches in before the WWE has to write to fit into the reality show narrative.  A few Diva notes (which means I’ve been watching too much wrestling) B-cup Bella has been a surprise of late.  She’s been surprisingly aggressive and shown signs of talent.  Bryan must be giving her good tips.  While D-cup Bella is taking on Cena traits which speaks for itself.  AJ was able to get the win.  Fox was semi-impressive as well.  
20. Once again the lack of debt of the WWE roster was on display.  A handful of wrestlers didn’t even make it out.  There is the intriguing Kofi / Miz feud that really took off at the PPV that was barely discussed on RAW.  ADR got no attention.  Ricardo Rodriguez got more face time Monday night as the Spanish announce table was threatened.  Even the Primetime Players didn’t do enough to get a quick mention.  There’s a whole group of guys that could have made it onto this list but there was no time.  Unlike previous weeks when no one “deserved” the 20th slot, this week it was because we got 3 to 4 really good wrestling matches that took up most of the time.  The lack of a 20th character is a compliment to the quality of the three hours of TV. 

Honorable Mentions

HBK  – I so badly want to add HBK to the rankings but I couldn’t.  He was the most Honorable of Honorable Mentions last night.  If The Shield has planted the seeds of a break up, what do you call what HBK is doing with Punk?  Crop dusting us all with magic wishing powder?

Evil Santa-Sandow, his Elf AJ and Tamina to pull his sleigh – I loved this.  This is the closest the WWE will get to a “Bad Santa” skit (in their PG world) and who better than Sandow and AJ to play the role of grinches who can’t stand kids.  Often, I can’t fast forward through the WWE skits but this one was too good to skip through.  I don’t know what this “Battle for Christmas” is going to be next week, but I’m certainly interested.

Chocolate Santa w/ Bella Elfs – Fox News’ Megyn Kelly’s head must be exploding that the WWE’s portraying Santa as being black.  I’m guessing she’ll be cheering for the evil “White Santa” because as she so gracefully and intelligently explain to us that it’s historical fact that Santa and Jesus were both white dudes that were born and raised in the all white part of the world know as the Middle East…  Wouldn’t it be a great idea, if she tried to save face and came out with Henry next week as one of his elves in a sexxxy outfit (she’s got the requisite Fox News legs)?  Look, I’ve got great ideas all the time, just ask me.  Fox News and the WWE can have that one for free.  It is the gift giving season. 

Side Note(s)

Championship Matches – I’ve said it before but it needs to be said again.  There is a plague that’s fallen on the WWE which is “straight up” official matches between a champion and a challenger are ending with the challenger winning cleanly but the title is not changing hands.  This is completely absurd and is the one thing I can NOT chalk up to being “part of the show.”  If you want to make gimmick matches or tag matches that mix up partners or singles matches that separate tag teams or whatever form of variable / stipulation you can think of, I’m cool with anyone winning.  BUT, if there is an official match and the champion looses, the championship should change hands!  “Smokey, this is not ‘Nam.  This is wrestling. There are rules!”  Tonight Goldust and Cody were in an official tag match against Show and Rey.  Show and Rey won with a 1-2-3 pin count.  Show and Rey should be the new Tag Team Champions.  This isn’t about any one particular wrestler or for only wrestlers that I like.  I don’t want to see Show and Rey as champs but they won a sanctioned WWE tag team match.  A few weeks ago there was an IC match which the champ lost and didn’t loose his belt.  This is becoming a trend and I won’t stand for it.  The WWE employs a lot of creative people and has a writing staff that gets paid money to write entertainment.  If you’re a champ and you wrestle in a sanctioned match, your championship is at risk.  That’s part of being a champion and something that Cena got into the past two weeks.  I can’t believe I’m actually siding with Cena on a topic but there you go.  Are you happy now WWE?  I’m agreeing with Cena that a champion should defend against all comers.  As Ric Flair would say, “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.  Whooooooooo!”  If you beat the man, you become the man.  Plain and simple.  Get your act together, WWE.  Have some pride.

Until next week…