BEARcast 2017-11-15: WrestleCast w/ Fred “The Oracle”

BEARcast - WrestleCast 2017-11-15 with Fred "The Oracle"

Survivor Series is here, and so too are Fred and The Bear to break down all the matches.  We theorize, critique and fantasy book the “bastard PPV” (find out why we call it that).  Also, some NXT / War Games previews.  No filler, all wrestling on this week’s WrestleCast. Enjoy. 

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Thanks,
WK
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WWE Power Rankings, RAW 12/16/2013

Coming at you from Dallas, off the heels of a spectacularly unspectacular TLC PPV.  Last night’s PPV had the promise of a Bryan Singer X-Men movie but the creative imagination of Brett Ratner X-Men movie.  There were no twists or turns and unlike previous PPVs, which I’ve complained about the lack of conclusive finishes, every TLC match had very definitive finishes.  The problem was, they were all disappointing or expected.  With multiple 3-on-1 matches, a unification match and the appearance of Vince McMahon himself; I was sure that there was going to be multiple interferences or involvement by outside factors but in the end nothing happened.  The only two “surprises” were that Ziggler was buried even further by loosing to Fandango and RKO won the main event with a fairly clean finish to claim the unified championship.  While the main event scored a 2 out of 5, RKO should get a special thanks for sparing us from a Super Cena moment that we would have had to watch a highlight of from now until the end of time had Cena won.  Cena, handcuffed to the ropes, somehow broke down the ring with his Super Cena strength and then carried the ring-ropes on his back and almost one handedly brought down the belts to win.  Luckily this farce was ended by a tug-o-war between RKO and Cena which resulted in a pretty nasty bump taken by Cena’s head on the end of a table.  Even after the match, the whole McMahon / HHH crew came out only to congratulate RKO on his victory.  No shenanigans.  No surprises.  Only shattered dreams of what TLC matches used to look like.  Hopefully with the reappearance of Mr. McMahon, we’ll get some fun twists and a clearer picture to what the Royal Rumble or possibly WM30 will look like.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 12/16/2013…

1. Randy Orton (7) – Our new unified champion entered the ring like a spoiled brat who whined enough to finally got what he wanted.  For those of you who dislike the RKO outcome, let me point out that he won the belts cleanly without interference.  I didn’t vote for George Bush but he won and he was my president (something the current GOP doesn’t adhere too when it comes to Obama but that’s for a different discussion).  RKO is our Champion!  Flanked by both his main competitors, Cena and Bryan, RKO gloriously came to the ring to bask in the glory of being the champ.  I’ve read some call him boring or stiff when on the mic but I couldn’t agree less.  RKO is a great heel, he’s also a great main even wrestler which is an underrated skill, but RANDY ORTON isn’t Ric Flair or CM Punk or Stone Cold.  Those are special actors who’ll go down in history.  RKO is a great heel, in his own way.  He’s not the fun or flashy or anti-establishment heel.  He’s playing the spoiled brat prick which is the hardest heel to pull off.  Unfortunately he also has to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to the boring parts of the story.  As you can see from the main event on RAW, when he’s given a strong wrestling opponent like Bryan, he brings his “A” game.  BTW, what’s the deal with the different color plastic rings RKO was wearing throughout the night?  I can’t be the only one who noticed, can I?  All I know is THIS IS YOUR CHAMP, LICK IT NERDS… 
   
2. Daniel Bryan (1) – With help from Cena, Bryan got another match against RKO.  The two put on another solid match.  I can’t tell if I should be mad that I wasted interest in Bryan’s feud with the Wyatts or happy that it seems to have ended and Bryan is back at main event status?  Who knows.  It’s still too soon after the PPV and far from the Rumble to really get a good bead on which direction Bryan is going.  On another note, I admit that I fall prey to perception just like everyone else.  I don’t know if it’s the fact Bryan is always smiling and breaking character or the silly beard gimmick or the contagious YES YES YES chant, but I’m always forgetting how well Bryan can wrestle.  He proved it once again in a solid main event.
3. John Cena (2) – Love him or hate him (I’ll stand in the second line) he does have charisma on the mic.  Which is odd because on Total Divas he’s either an empty soulless shell of a person outside of the WWE world or hates being on that stupid reality show (again, I’ll be counted in the second line).  While I appreciate Cena’s help to get Bryan the main event match, why is Cena being pushed down out throats?  Bryan can clearly take on RKO and win.  I guess that’s a dumb question.  Cena’s being pushed down our throats because it’s Cena.  The WWE feels they need to always have him involved in the main event.  Example #874,291 that Cena is truly “The Face of the WWE.” 
4. The Shield (3) – The seeds of dissension have been planted and we now have a good idea of what the break-up will look like.  Before they break up, The Shield still has some unfinished business to get to.  All signs of a break-up were put to the back burner for the night.  It’s unclear is how we’re going to get this fabled Shield vs Wyatt feud for WM30?  Stranger and harder matches have been thrown together between past Rumbles and WMs.  We’ll just have to see.  But the inevitable break-up will not be happening tonight.  The Shield came back together and got the win in a great match against Punk and The Usos.  
5. CM Punk (4) – Punk being directionless, in an odd 3-on-1 fight with The Shield and winning a 3-on-1 against The Shield is all preposterous.  If the WWE is going to make that up with a match between HBK and Punk, I’ll let it all slide!  How awesome would one more match for HBK be with Punk at WM30.  I’ve read rumors about a possible Punk / HHH feud, which seemed like reality last night but then it was HBK that came to ring.  Maybe it was because RAW was in Dallas and what better way to tease the fans than by having HBK drive from his home to show up on RAW.  I like to think positively and hope that we get and Punk / HBK or Punk / HHH or even a Punk / HHH / HBK match at WM30.  Let’s not forget, Punk and The Usos put on a great match against The Shield.  Just to get something clear, Punk by himself can beat The Shield but when you add a top 3 tag team to help him, The Shield wins?  I’ll be working that one out in my head all week.
6. The Usos (8) – For still not having said a word on TV (as far as I can remember) I can’t believe how happy I was that the Usos were Punk’s partner vs The Shield.  I couldn’t believe that the WWE universe made such a good “choice” (see, don’t we all wish we knew how to type out sarcasm, if only we could figure this out…).  I don’t see why this couldn’t have been the match on the PPV?  It was a great match.  
7. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (5) – True fighting champions.  They never get to cut any promos so all they’re left to do is fight, which I’m fine with since they’ve been so spectacular in the ring.  You couldn’t ask for two completely opposite opponents in Show and Rey.  To be able to put on a good match goes with such diverse opponents shows you how great of a tag team The Rhodes boys are.  Although they lost is a clean / fair tag match and didn’t loose the belts.  While I’m glad the Rhodes kept the belts, this is a big issue for me, see the Side Notes for more.  Other than that, they’re the Tag Champs and I expect more good matches.  You know, before they inevitably turn on each other and put on the greatest blood vs blood match at WM30.  I’m just saying.
8. Big Show / Rey Mysterio (N/A) – Both good in small doses and what better way to show that than as a tag duo against Goldust and Cody.  Good match.  This odd couple works well together.  They may not have a catchy name or gimmick but I can see them doing damage in the tag division.  Tell me who you’d rather see; Show and Rey or Los Matadores / 3MB / Real Americans?  Nuff said.  Also, they should be champs right now, see my complaint in Side Notes.  
9. HHH / Stephanie (6) – I was very surprised that Vince didn’t make an appearance.  This has either been Vince’s greatest tease or laziest run.  When was the last time Vincent K McMahon made an actual appearance and did nothing and it meant nothing!?  It’s all very suspect.  At the same time, what am I to believe?  The internet rumors or my own lying eyes?  To the layman, it seems like the McMahons / HHH are dropping the ball but I feel there is something smoldering under the surface that we haven’t seen yet.  HHH and Stephanie opened the show, had the entire roster out and (with a little encouraging from Cena) gave us a nice main event.  I’m sorry, it’s all too clean and nice.  There’s something going on!  I can feel it.  Damn you wrestling!  
10. Big E Langston and Mark Henry (12/HM) – Big E was triumphant at TLC in defending the IC title against Sandow.  I don’t understand why he’s re-teaming with Mayback Music Henry but I was intrigued by the idea a few weeks ago when they teamed up.  During the match, the announcers correctly referred to the abundance of great tag teams right now, and as much as I’d like to see where this literal super-heavyweight team goes.  The fact is Big E is the IC champ.  As such, I’d like to see the IC belt defended.  I don’t know, maybe against his former mentor Ziggler?!  The Heavyweight strap is on Ambrose and until The Shield breaks up, I don’t think he’s loosing it (I think that will be one of the reasons that contribute to the breakup, i.e. Rollins / Reigns costs Ambrose the belt somehow) the IC belt is the only other championship floating around at the moment.  When Big E drops that belt, that’s when you put him with Henry for the World’s Strongest Tag Team.
11. Dolph Ziggler (HM) – The only positive to having repeat matches from the prior night’s PPV (another top 5 thing I’d change) is that when a match doesn’t go the way you want, there’s a chance for a do-over.  Ziggler got a chance to avenge his loss against Fandango.  With a much shorter match, but much better outcome, Ziggler finally won a match.  I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this is the next step towards bigger and better things, and not another gimmick rematch feud like he had with Sandow.  
12. Brodus Clay and Sweet-T (15) – Is there anything that really needs to be said with these two?  Brodus Clay is taking steps toward being a tough heel, which is what he should have been from the start, and Sweet-T will be his first victim.  Few people past the age of nine will shed a tear for the end of Tons of Funk.  The Funkadactyls will be free to roam the land and do whatever it is Funkadactyls do.  Maybe they go back to their pack of Toronto Raptor cheerleaders.  (That was a lazy joke but it’s late and if you really care about the future of the Funkadactyls you should be reevaluating your sports entertainment fandom.)
13. The Wyatt Family (9) – I don’t know what the big deal is, we’ve all gotten stoned and  talked to invisible relatives in old rocking chairs.  All I want to know is what they’re taking so I can get high off the same stuff.  Those Wyatts are some big dudes and if they’re all THAT stoned, I want me some of that.  I hope Bray’s lack of in-ring performing has been due to injury because he’s been great when he’s gotten the chance to wrestle.  Rowan and Harper are fine big men but Bray is really solid.  He was the standout of their TLC match against Bryan, which is something to be said.  Yet again, all they did was put on a simple promo on RAW.  That’s just not good enough after all these months.  I need to see some in-ring action to really rank you near the top.  They might be in limbo if the WWE has switched gears and put Bryan back into the main event scene.  Much like Bryan, we’ll have to see what happens.  Let’s not forget, we also want to see Wyatt vs Shield at WM30 and they’re a good deal away from that match up.  
14. R-Truth and Xavier Woods (HM) – Do I really hate dancing or do I just wanna dance, dance, dance like no one’s watching?  Look, Mr. Woods, I know you’re new to this game but you can’t steal a man’s Funkadactyls and music and not expect repercussions.  We were oh so close to tonight being the night of Woods and Truth, shuckin’ and jivin’.  I also thought that putting Woods in regular clothes would make him look less BaBaBooey-ish and less depressed-70’s-pornstar-ish but alas, nothing can make Woods look any better.  Woods looks even worse in normal clothes.  Now let’s get to R-Truth.  If you’re going to wear a nice suit and tie and clean up, take off that damn do-rag.  We’re days away from it being 2014.  Take that stupid thing off when dressed like an adult.  When you have your wrestling spanks on, you can wear whatever you want.  I hate to sound like David Stern of the early 2000’s but let’s class it up a little. 
15. Fandango w/ Summer Rae (19) – after an unwanted win against Ziggler (unwanted by me, I’m sure Fandango was happy about the win at a PPV), Ziggler and Fandango ran back their match from the night before.  Fortune favors the bold and tonight Ziggler was the bold.  Mr. Fandango, can feel free to enjoy the warm embrace of Summer Rae as he recovers from the loss suffered by the might of Ziggler!
16. Real Americans w/ Zeb (20) – Cannon fodder for what looks to be one of the most devastating teams in the WWE right now.  You’d almost feel sorry for The Americans for the beating they took if they weren’t such losers.  The only team I’d have rather seen get destroyed but the new powerhouse team of Big E / Henry is Los Matadores.  I’m a little surprised that being in Texas, the WWE didn’t have something about The Real Americans protecting the USA from Los Matadores.  How did you not jump all over that racial train wreck?  You’re slippin’ WWE.  I expect less from you… Special shout-out to Cesaro for picking up Big E and giving his version of a German Suplex.  As always, I’ll give credit where credit is due no matter what I feel about the character.  That was much more impressive than the spin move Cesaro’s been exhibiting of late.  Oh, and then there was the Swagger Roar...
    
17. Ryback and Curtis Axel (20) – As predicted, both wrestlers’ stock has fallen since venturing out from under Heyman’s protective wing and feuding with Punk.  As your financial advisor, if you haven’t already sold your Ryb-Axel shares do it now.  Otherwise, hold for the long term and hope for a rebranding that will send either of their stock back up.  Luckily there was a Divas match and I need to give Barrett a kick in the ass, otherwise these two would have been at the bottom again.  Be carefully Ryb-Axel, if the Divas continue to step it up and Barrett actually gets into the ring, they’ll leap over you quite easily.
18. #BadNewsBarrett (N/A) – This is a nice little gimmick and all, but let’s get Barrett into the ring and get him fighting.  He’s certainly on the level of ADR, Ziggler, Sandow, Big E and the other second tier wrestlers.  The best way to win over the crowd is to cut good promos and have good matches.  This odd hashtag / roasting is not going anywhere.  He’s a heel.  Got it.  Get in the ring and fight.  The insanely low rank for this fine wrestler is mainly to give him a kick in the ass.  He's much better than these other bottom dwellers, just go out and prove it and I’ll bump you up, Mr. Barrett.
19. The Divas Match (HM) – Now that the season is over for the Total Divas show, I thought we were done pushing these broads.  What does AJ have to do to finally get the push she’s deserved?  We’ve got a few months until March and the return of Total Divas.  I hope AJ will get a few decent matches in before the WWE has to write to fit into the reality show narrative.  A few Diva notes (which means I’ve been watching too much wrestling) B-cup Bella has been a surprise of late.  She’s been surprisingly aggressive and shown signs of talent.  Bryan must be giving her good tips.  While D-cup Bella is taking on Cena traits which speaks for itself.  AJ was able to get the win.  Fox was semi-impressive as well.  
20. Once again the lack of debt of the WWE roster was on display.  A handful of wrestlers didn’t even make it out.  There is the intriguing Kofi / Miz feud that really took off at the PPV that was barely discussed on RAW.  ADR got no attention.  Ricardo Rodriguez got more face time Monday night as the Spanish announce table was threatened.  Even the Primetime Players didn’t do enough to get a quick mention.  There’s a whole group of guys that could have made it onto this list but there was no time.  Unlike previous weeks when no one “deserved” the 20th slot, this week it was because we got 3 to 4 really good wrestling matches that took up most of the time.  The lack of a 20th character is a compliment to the quality of the three hours of TV. 

Honorable Mentions

HBK  – I so badly want to add HBK to the rankings but I couldn’t.  He was the most Honorable of Honorable Mentions last night.  If The Shield has planted the seeds of a break up, what do you call what HBK is doing with Punk?  Crop dusting us all with magic wishing powder?

Evil Santa-Sandow, his Elf AJ and Tamina to pull his sleigh – I loved this.  This is the closest the WWE will get to a “Bad Santa” skit (in their PG world) and who better than Sandow and AJ to play the role of grinches who can’t stand kids.  Often, I can’t fast forward through the WWE skits but this one was too good to skip through.  I don’t know what this “Battle for Christmas” is going to be next week, but I’m certainly interested.

Chocolate Santa w/ Bella Elfs – Fox News’ Megyn Kelly’s head must be exploding that the WWE’s portraying Santa as being black.  I’m guessing she’ll be cheering for the evil “White Santa” because as she so gracefully and intelligently explain to us that it’s historical fact that Santa and Jesus were both white dudes that were born and raised in the all white part of the world know as the Middle East…  Wouldn’t it be a great idea, if she tried to save face and came out with Henry next week as one of his elves in a sexxxy outfit (she’s got the requisite Fox News legs)?  Look, I’ve got great ideas all the time, just ask me.  Fox News and the WWE can have that one for free.  It is the gift giving season. 

Side Note(s)

Championship Matches – I’ve said it before but it needs to be said again.  There is a plague that’s fallen on the WWE which is “straight up” official matches between a champion and a challenger are ending with the challenger winning cleanly but the title is not changing hands.  This is completely absurd and is the one thing I can NOT chalk up to being “part of the show.”  If you want to make gimmick matches or tag matches that mix up partners or singles matches that separate tag teams or whatever form of variable / stipulation you can think of, I’m cool with anyone winning.  BUT, if there is an official match and the champion looses, the championship should change hands!  “Smokey, this is not ‘Nam.  This is wrestling. There are rules!”  Tonight Goldust and Cody were in an official tag match against Show and Rey.  Show and Rey won with a 1-2-3 pin count.  Show and Rey should be the new Tag Team Champions.  This isn’t about any one particular wrestler or for only wrestlers that I like.  I don’t want to see Show and Rey as champs but they won a sanctioned WWE tag team match.  A few weeks ago there was an IC match which the champ lost and didn’t loose his belt.  This is becoming a trend and I won’t stand for it.  The WWE employs a lot of creative people and has a writing staff that gets paid money to write entertainment.  If you’re a champ and you wrestle in a sanctioned match, your championship is at risk.  That’s part of being a champion and something that Cena got into the past two weeks.  I can’t believe I’m actually siding with Cena on a topic but there you go.  Are you happy now WWE?  I’m agreeing with Cena that a champion should defend against all comers.  As Ric Flair would say, “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.  Whooooooooo!”  If you beat the man, you become the man.  Plain and simple.  Get your act together, WWE.  Have some pride.

Until next week…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 12/09/2013

Coming at you from Seattle, tonight we celebrate the Slammys!  In yet another mutated creature from the Island of Dr. McMahon, the Slammys are the WWE’s answer to all other pop culture and sports award shows that celebrate themselves.  I’m a sucker for a good awards show and as much as I love the Academy Awards, Emmys, Golden Globes and even the Grammys and MTV Music Awards (I’m old now.  Music has been dead since 1998), the Slammys are a kin to the ESPY Awards or the MTV Movie awards.  They just as made-up and fake as the product themselves.  That’s not to say the Slammys couldn’t be great.  There are a lot of great things that happen in wrestling over the years and to award / rank them is fun.  What the hell do you think you’re reading right now?  The problem is, once again, there are too many PPVs and instead of the Slammys being on a night by themselves, they’re being wedged in along with a “go home show” before a PPV this sunday.  Here’s a great solution; put the Slammy Awards on the odd Saturday night that NBC shows wrestling instead of a repeat of SNL during the winter.  It’s a great way to repackage the highlights of the year for a mainstream audience and would be shown in the only “young / hip” time slot on Saturday night.  This wouldn’t cost the WWE anything and let’s the WWE do what the WWE does best, make great video packages.  If you insisted on having the wrestlers be there, you could still sell out an area, have the crew dress up and give out the awards.  You’re telling me the wrestlers would complain about a show where they didn’t have to throw themselves around a ring and just see cool montages of the year?  It’s not like NBC has anything better to put on.  Have you seen Dracula?  It’s fucking horrifying…horrifyingly awful.  The dude is from Europe, in England, puts on an American accent, to pretend he’s an American industrialist at the same time fighting some underground Illuminati, all while he could get any woman he wants but is obsessed with his friend’s fiancé because she looks like his dead wife and I think Van Helsing is gay?  It’s a train wreck.  Don’t get me started.  And that’s NBC’s most hyped show.  No, NBC isn’t saying no to this idea.  Lastly, the fans would love it.  I couldn’t tell you how excited I got (hell, I still get) when WWE was on Saturday night!  Wrestling allowed me to stay up late and was on one of the four “real” networks!  Say no more, I’ve got my PJ’s on and I’m curled up in my dinosaur blanket.  But no, we get a clusterfuck of an awards show smashed in with the show that’s supposed to set things up for the TLC PPV.  This should be good :/  (sarcastically typing - side note - Please, for the love of baby Jesus, someone tell me what the universe has decided to use for sarcastic text?  Can’t the internet come together and say, “This is the proper nomenclature on how to sarcastically write text?”)  What I’m trying to say is, the Slammys could be great (unless you’re a member of the Hart family, which then you don’t ever want to win one and god forbid two).  I’m excited.  I’m oddly excited for TLC as well.  All signs should be pointing towards a good show.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 12/09/2013…

1. Daniel Bryan (7) – Talk about owning a show.  The show opener, and Washington native, Superstar Daniel Bryan sure as hell looked like a face of the franchise to me.  You knew he was going to be a hometown favorite but not even the top brass could have expected the ovation Bryan got at the end of the show.  He forced HHH, Cena and RKO to improv lines to work the crowd reaction into the already great ending.  (Example #1 of why these are the best performers in the world.  They have to be physical freaks, know their character’s lines / scripted goals and be able to adjust on the fly according to the fan reactions.)  Whether he was winning Slammys, getting the crowd riled up, facing off with HBK or working a solid match with Fandango; Byran killed it.  Seattle was a great crowd and Bryan had him in the palm of his hand.  Congrats on a magical night.
2. John Cena (5) – The mere fact that the WWE acknowledges and is pushing the “Let’s go Cena / Cena Sucks” chant should tell you all you need to know about “heat”.  Just like there’s no such thing as bad publicity, there’s no such thing as bad heat.  I live in a house divided.  My girlfriend is an unabashed Cena lover while I’m part of the smart fans who boo him.  Tonight our roles were switch.  She pointed out that Cena’s speech was stupid because Cena gets the same pushes at RKO gets and neither of them have ever worked as hard to get (and hold) their top spots like Bryan did.  This is my girlfriend’s words.  I thought maybe she’s finally coming around, but after her rant she still proclaimed her love for him.  I, on the other hand, usually give him a hard time but tonight applauded his show ending speech.  I agree with the Super Cena nonsense, hello!  Two weeks back from the IR and you’ve got the World strap on.  I don’t care what the end storyline is, you’re still prop’d up as the true “face of the WWE.”  Regardless, he gave a super speech about giving chances to deserving wrestlers.  I can’t knock a guy who points out Ziggler, Punk and Bryan (whom he has wrestled, and from what I understand, campaigned for in the back) all deserve championship chances  / pushes.  Cena won the night.  Having said all that, this picture is all you need to know about who cheers for Cena…   
   
3. The Shield (1) – The seeds have been sowed for the split.  It seems the breakup will be based on a Ambrose / Reigns fracture and Rollins will play the peacekeeper.  Who knows for sure?  It’s just the start and by next week we’ll all “Believe in The Shield” again, or at least until after WM and the proposed Shield / Wyatt feud.  The point is, The Shield will break up at some point.   As much as I knew this day would come, to see The Shield start to splinter makes me sad.  The Hounds of Justice have been great.  Such is life and everything must move forward.  
4. CM Punk (3) – Clearly, this is 3-on-1 match between Punk and The Shield is not the fight we want to see, but I’ll take a 1-on-1 match with Punk vs any member of The Shield everyday of the week and twice on Sunday.  It seems as though Punk has found that spark again.  He played second fiddle to Heyman in their feud, probably because it was he who had to carry Ryback and Axel while Heyman was free to just do the shoots.  Punk is still in limbo but I expect a good match at TLC and hopefully we’ll get a clearer picture of his WM plans by the time the Royal Rumble comes around.  Hell, maybe he’s put on the short list of possible winners of the Rumble match?  Something has lit his fire and that’s all that matter.  Also, this picture at the finale was great.  I could devote a whole post to breaking down this picture.
   
5. The Rhodes Boys / Rey Mysterio / Big Show (2) – It’s funny how the world works.  Big Show and Mysterio sit on opposite ends of the scales but they both have the same problems and solutions.  They’re both extremely hard to put into long feuds and in-ring they’re best served in small doses.  Letting Goldust and Cody do the heavy lifting was smart.  Not only is Goldust the Comeback Player of the Year but Cody might be the breakout star.  Goldust and Cody need to drop the tag belts soon so they can get into their presumed feud at WM (unless the feud leaves the belts abdicated which then you could have an awesome tournament for the straps) and to give the other tag teams a lift.  Also, we got a great new angle to when a tag is about to get made.  It only took 50 years to get this shot.
   
6. HHH and Stephanie (8) – To give herself the Insult of the Year award was a little self indulgent especially since Stephanie didn’t deserve it for any one particular insult.  I’m fine with HHH and Stephanie giving themselves any award they want because in reality, they’re the MVP’s of the WWE.  As I’ve said many of times, they’re “The straw that stirs the drink.”  It took 2:54 to finally get both HHH and Stephanie in the ring but as usual it was worth the wait.  Remind you, they’re part of the team that is orchestrating all this behind the scenes.  To give us a top 5-of-the-year show ending, that deserves big props.  They had an all star collection in the ring for the finale which included Bret Hart and HBK standing side by side for 10 minutes, which was probably 4th on the list of insane things that happened at the end of this show.
   
7. Randy Orton (4) – RKO needs a timeout for his behavior problems.  At least that’s what Cena made it seem like.  RKO wasn’t at his best but there was a ton going on.  I’m not here to make excuses for a man who can take care of himself.  I will say again, the pot is calling the kettle black when Cena accuses RKO of “favoritism.”  I hope RKO wins the TLC match.  He’s more than capable of putting on a stellar match and lifting Cena’s performance as well.  It’s a monumental task asking for anyone to beat Cena as the new unified Champion.  If anyone can do it, it is RKO.  I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
8. The Usos (N/A) – They should win most underrated in-ring performers.  They never say anything.  They’re never feuding with anyone.  They have absolutely no storyline.  They only bring down the house every match they have.  It’s amazing.  Watching one of the Usos on Total Divas allows me to see that he’s capable of putting words together.  Why they’re not asked to do more or the writers haven’t found something to do with them is a shame and the only thing holding them back.  Otherwise, I’m always excited to see them wrestle and I can’t remember the last time they disappointed.  
9. The Wyatt Family (6) – Finally, in his own weird way, Bray Wyatt gave a great promo.  This feud with Bryan is either going to be a horrible story or it’s going to be awesome.  Hopefully Sunday will tell us what’s happening with The Wyatts and Bryan.  Like Punk / Shield, no one is looking forward to a 3-on-1 match with Bryan / Wyatts but this one has more of a story and potential set up for the future.  With the true Superstar pop Bryan got on RAW, who knows what the WWE will end up doing with Bryan and The Wyatts.  If Bray is healthy and can fight, a match between him and Bryan could be great.  Otherwise I can’t seem to wrap my brain around Bryan “becoming” a Wyatt and what that’s supposed to do for either of them.  If you wanted to just put on a pound for pound 6-man tag with The Wyatt Family vs Bryan and The Usos, I could go for that.  The Usos brought out the best in Harper and Rowan, which ended with a devastating clothesline by Harper for the win.
10. Bret Hart and The Match of the Year (N/A) – The only award to make it on the Power Ranking.  This is the only award that really mattered.  CM PUNK / Undertaker, Rhodes vs Shield, Lesnar / HHH vs Rock vs Cena?  You had to know that Super Cena and Punk would win this award but like so many, the fans (which I don’t believe actually decided the outcomes) voted the wrong match.  Out of these choices, I’d have to go with The Rhodes Family vs The Shield with CM Punk / Undertaker a close second.  The stakes were high, the bit was set up perfectly, they incorporated a living legend, it brought back a rejuvenated Goldust, lifted Cody’s profile and proved again that I “Believe in The Shield.”  It was a great feud, fight and result.  Even Bret seemed to know this was a bullshit win because he bolted the stage as soon as he read the winner.  Props to Bret for walking out on that bogus win.  The Epic Fail of the night was to have Bret Hart and HBK in the same ring and NOT have them do something together was a huge missed opportunity.   
11. Damien Sandow (9) – Sandow is a solid challenger for Big E.  I expect a good match at the PPV and am interested in seeing how Sandow is used afterwards.  I don’t expect Sandow to win the IC belt because of the push Big E is getting but assuming he puts on a good showing, what’s next for Sandow? 
12. Big E Langston (11) – I can see why WWE brass likes him.  Big E fits the WWE mold, is solid on the mic and can put on a good match.  He’s not transcendent but you can see why the WWE wants to push him.  Let’s not forget how green he is.  It’s barely been a year since he’s been on the roster full time and only a few months (if that) since he’s gotten this push.  I fully expect Big E to beat Sandow and retain the IC belt at TLC.  With a good showing, I’ll be excited to see who he defends the IC best against next.  I’d love to see Big E prove himself against Sandow and then get into a student / master feud with Ziggler.  (Maybe not the best choice of words as one is a small white dude and the other is a hulking black guy but you get my point.  Think Star Wars, not early American colonialism through 1865.)
13. Kofi Kingston (14) – JBL was right, “This is the Kofi I like.”  Angry Kofi is the best Kofi.  If this is a preview of the PPV, Kofi and Miz could steal the show.  With an opponent that can pull his weight in a match, Kofi and Miz are is a match that people don’t want to be sleeping on.  One of the reasons I’m overly pumped for this PPV.  
14. The Miz (14) – In a short but sweet match, Miz pulls out the win.  Even though he finished the match being laid out, it was a good, quick match.  The RAW finale reminded us that Miz is a former WWE champ.  During the transition from Attitude to Reality eras, The Miz was the hot wrestler.  He’s a much better heel than face.  Miz is also the type of heel that will allow Kofi to have a mean streak and the crowd will go with it.  The Miz can be that super arrogant asshole that warrants the face to be aggressive as well.  It seems that The Miz is to a character that he does well and the crowd enjoys to hate.
15. Brodus Clay w/ Sweet T and the Funkadactyls (18) – I’m looking forward to Clay breaking out of the kid friendly mode and wreck shop.  That’s what he was supposed to come into the WWE universe as.  Not this dancing dinosaur.  As stupid as this “rumpus over the funkus” is, if that’s what Clay needs to unleash the beast, then let’s do it.
16. AJ Lee (HM) – Once again, shafted by the Bellas for the Diva of the Year.  It wasn’t as big of a shafting as her loss for Insult of the Year was.  AJ gave one of the best shoots of the year.  Not just for the Divas division but for the entire roster.  AJ gave her version of Punk’s pipe bomb shoot.  Unfortunately, the WWE is more concerned about the Total Divas show than the success of the Divas champ.
17. Alberto Del Rio (15) – One of the greatest shoot promos of all time!  I’m just messing with ya’ll, how the hell would I know, I don’t speak Mexican.  I’m just assuming.  ADR was World champ just a few months ago and now he’s fighting fake Sin Cara?  How the might have fallen.  If it’s any consolation, he and Sin Cara could put on a good match which may lead to the next step.  I still think it would be interesting, after all of ADR’s bluster, if ADR and Zeb teamed up to send all the “illegals” back to where they came from, it could be an interesting concept.  I have no faith that it will happen or if it did, would be handled correctly.
18. SAN-TIN-OOOOOOOOO (N/A) – You can tell the dumbest stuff happens on Smackdown.  Smackdown had the “taming of Santino’s cobra” which was absolutely preposterous, but I’ll admit I loved it.  I love anything Santino does.  No matter what he’s asked to do, he does it and with 100% effort.  I don’t care if Santino falls ass-backwards into being the champion for two-seconds.  It will be the best two-seconds of my life.  One day Santino, one day.
19. Fan-dan-go (N/A) – Someone had to come out and job to the hometown hero, Bryan.  Fandango and Summer Rae got to put on their classiest dress shoes and tear it up.  Fandango’s gimmick is on the boarder of being done or ready for full acceptance from the crowd, not just the marks who are metta-cheering Fandango.  Either way, the boy can wrestle.  I may hate the gimmick but I’ll give the wrestler his due.
20. Ryback / Curtis Axel / Real Americans w/ Zeb (N/A) – Zeb somehow was nominated in almost every Slammy category but won nothing.  I won’t be shedding a tear for poor old Zeb.  Out of this conglomerate of mediocrity, Zeb is the only character that gets me worked up in any way.  As far as the wrestling goes, Cesaro is the real deal and the only one of the four who deserves to get any kind of push.  The finale reminded us that Swagger was once a “Champion” which points out the need to consolidate the belts.  Ryb-Axel dumping Heyman was not a good move when neither has any personality.  If I was booking the show, I’d break up Cesaro and Swagger.  Then flip Zeb and Swagger into a three man group (which the WWE seems fond of these days) with Zeb as the mouthpiece.  WWE can roll the dice with Cesaro to see if they can turn him into a contender and the “reloaded” Real Americans will save the plummeting Ryb-Axel.  

Honorable Mentions

Total Divas – I HATE HATE HATE HATE the Total Divas reality show.  (looking from side to side to see if anyone is watching me) I liked last night’s episode.  The death of Gizmo the Cat sucked because it was real and most of the situations on the show last night seemed to be actual reality.  The WWE is already “reality TV” so you don’t need the added fake reality on top of that.  Do a straight up documentary on what goes on behind the scenes of the wrestlers and THAT would be a great reality show.

Jerry “The King” Lawler and Booker T – Our hosts for the Slammy Awards.  If you asked me to choose between The King & Booker T vs Franco & Hathaway, I gotta say that The King & Booker would be a better choice to host the Oscars.  

Mark Henry – The biggest upset of the night was that Henry didn’t win the Biggest Double-cross of the Year!  This is truly an outrage.  I don’t know one person that wasn’t fooled by Henry’s fake retirement.  Not only did he play it perfectly but also gave Cena one hell of an ass whooping.  Shaving his head and becoming the “Ricky Rosé” Henry has been great too.  I couldn’t justify putting him on the Rankings because he lost the Slammy and didn’t wrestle but he was there as a former champion (again, I didn’t remember that he was a champ) and had fun with Bryan at the finale.  A solid performance and I hope they insert him in a good feud soon.

Vickie Guerrero – I don’t know that she deserves more than a Honorable Mention but she definitely deserves to be a part of the LOL moment of the year.  She had HHH breaking character and was the butt of The Rock’s joke, along with the million of other solid stunts she pulls throughout the year.  She’s a solid performer and always brings her “A” game.  

Shawn “HBK” Michaels – It’s so strange, usually HBK is so understated and humble. (Where is my sarcasm text?!)  HBK stepped up his…well…HBK-ness to a new level.  Winning the double-cross of the year was bullshit but predictable.  Trying to re-name the award after himself and with such lame pop culture attempt from 10 years ago was just so, so, so… HBK.  By the way, I can see HHH doing it someday.

Xavier Woods w/ R-Truth – What more can I say that I didn’t touch on with Brodus Clay.  If Woods is what gives us a badass Clay, I’ll deal with it.  At least Woods has a lot of promise in-ring.  Also, a little R-Truth each show isn’t a bad thing.

Dolph Ziggler – Not on the show except as a set piece for the finale.  He’ll be in the PPV pre-show which has featured some good matches and important players.  Hopefully the days of Ziggler being buried are done?  We can hope.

Russell Wilson – Great MVP chant during the Sin Cara / ADR match.  Well deserved, but he has no chance vs Peyton Manning’s Super Cena status.

Side Note(s) –

I’m glad we wasted precious time, once again, explaining how to download the WWE app.  The key isn’t “how to” download the app, clearly nine million people have figured that out, it’s to make the app work!  Unlike Michael Cole, I won’t waste any more of your time or a power point presentation explaining this.

I’m a fan of Nelson Mandela but at the 1:16 mark to just throw an “in the memory of” seemed weird.  Out of all the people to get a clips package, the WWE couldn’t tastefully explain Mandela to generations of kids that have no idea who he is and his importance in the world?  Oh, I forgot the WWE doesn’t do subtlety well.  If there ever was a time to go overboard on someone, I could live with it being for Nelson Mandela.  At least the WWE’s heart was in the right place.  

Until next week…

WWE Power Rankings, RAW 10-28-2013

Coming at you from Orlando, coming off of a so-so Hell in the Cell PPV Wrestlemania season has started.  While the “road to WM” starts at Royal Rumble, tonight’s RAW is generally the beginning to all the story lines that will lead up to conclusion at Wrestlemania.  

Quickly, regarding Hell in the Cell…The PPV was OK.  My “crew” got together but since it wasn’t a major PPV we didn’t have all hands on deck, which was appropriate for the type of show it turned out to be.  A long forgotten member of our “crew” (gotta think of a better name) made a return, which was far more interesting and exciting that half the matches on the actual PPV.  I believe at one point we fast forwarded through about 45 minutes and almost everyone needed coffee to get home.  The opener was a fast and hard tag match which predictably saw the Rhodes Family keep the title.  That might have been the match of the night.  The two Hell in the Cell matches were a let down overall.  While CM Punk vs Heyman brought conclusion (I hope) to their feud, the match was weak and mostly consisted of Punk vs Ryback and then once that was finished, an innocuous beating of Heyman on the top of the Cell structure ended the match.  The other HitC match that took place between RKO / Bryan / HHH / HBK was fairly predictable in it’s twists and turns.  Performance-wise it was a good match.  As discussed in previous posts, a blind man would have seen HBK’s interference coming.  It was just a matter of which way he was going to swing the match.  As you’ll see below HBK ended up “doing what’s best for business” and falling in step with HHH & Stephanie’s wishes.  The only semi surprise, again if you’ve been reading, was that Cena cleanly won the World strap from ADR.  It wasn’t so surprising that he might have won as much as how he won cleanly and then left as the champ.  I was certain that if he had won, something like Sandow cashing in his MitB shot or something or someone would have made it a controversial win.  Overall, if you want a score, I’d give it a 2 out of 5 stars overall but the first and last matches were very good.  There were some glaring omissions in lieu of substandard performers who made it on the card.  As we’ll get into, the likes of Kofi and Ziggler weren’t on the card but Khali / Hornswaggle (sans Santino.  I repeat sans SANTINO!), Los Matadores, El Torito and the All American crew all had major time on the PPV.  

With Hell in the Cell over and the chessboard set, the next PPV is a big one.  Survivor Series is in a few weeks and while I was disappointed in the results and who was on the HitC Card, we could be set up for a great Survivor Series (which hasn’t been said in a long time) where we could actually have some true Survivor Series matches.  Usually you can expect a solid show coming off of a PPV, so with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 10/28/2013…

1. The Shield (1&2) – Old. School. Promo.  You don’t need to reinvent the wheel each week.  Wrestling has been around for decades and a staple is the solo / group shoot to the camera backstage.  You see these mostly on smaller shows (like TNA or independents) because they’re cheap and easy to make.  But to do a good one, that’s old school and it’s still awesome.  It’s the classic way that wrestlers could set up a match that hasn’t had months of airtime to prep an audience or in the “territory days” it would be an easy way to tell anyone new to the program what the backstory to the match was.  The Shield did a great backstage shoot and then immediately went on to a match between Ambrose vs Big E.  Predictably the match went outside the ring where the rest of The Shield was was there to pound Big E.  Did Ambrose get disqualified, sure.  Did the Usos come out to help Big E and take on the Rollins and Reigns, you know they did.  Did Brad Maddox come out and give the crowd what they wanted, a 6-man tag?  Fuck Yeah!  Was it awesome?  They’re not #1 on the Power Rankings for ‘nothing.
2. Damien Sandow (N/A) – Talk about someone being back.  Sandow is back on RAW.  He’s a worthy heel for a returning Cena.  This arc will probably take place on Smackdown more than RAW but it’s exciting nonetheless.  Sandow has played the “intelligent” wrestler card better than almost anyone and he’s been vastly underused.  I was getting tired of trying to figure out the ways he (and his MitB case) was going to get to the championship but now we’ve seen him hop-skip-and-jump right over to the main event.  For an opening match on RAW, Cena and Sandow put on a fabulous match.  Sandow lost his MitB title shot but somehow I hope and expect him to be very much in the mix for the World belt.  When you get a “this is awesome” chant by the crowd, you’re almost assured to get more TV time.  I’m sure Sandow will utilize all his intelligence (and the WWE’s creative staff) to find some fine print to allow him to keep his MitB chance.  Just a guess. 
3. John Cena (N/A) – Love him or hate him, he does make the crowd pop.  Yes, he’s back.  For some reason he felt compelled to explain the purpose of doctors and the chemistry of making ice.  There was an awkward moment about how JBL was the inspiration for Cena’s quick comeback because of disparaging remarks that JBL had been making.  Frankly I couldn’t remember this being an issue and if it was, JBL was just doing the commentary that the show’s writers gave him.  Cena does know that this is all scripted, right?  At least we got an explanation for the reason that Cena won the World belt and the direction his character will be going.  I gather he’ll be more of a presence on Smackdown and thus necessitated winning the championship.  It didn’t make much sense but clearly Cena was pumped up to be back in front of a live crowd and on the mic.  I’ll let him off easy this week because when you’re on the top of the mountain and the actual “face of the company” it must be intoxicating to come out each week.  He’s back and you can see the love he has for the business, sooooo…whatever, let him have his fun.  If it were up to me, I’d probably use Cena differently but if he’s going to bring life to and shake up the 2nd tier of wrestlers that I keep harping need a push / direction (i.e. Kofi, Ziggler, *Sandow*, ADR, Mark Henry, Sheamus, Miz, Cesaro, etc.) I’m all for it.  With Cena being so polarizing, he can take on heels or faces.  My only concern is how long Cena (or the WWE brass) will allow him to toil in the minors when they ultimately want him going for the WWE championship, which I’d assume would be by Wrestlemania?  That’s a long time off so we just have to watch.  Along with rehabbing his elbow, Cena must have also worked on his match skills.  As much as it pains me, he and Sandow put on a great match.  Cena’s not a horrible wrestler like Hulk Hogan is / was, it’s just that he’s not on the list of guys you know will put on a good match.  If he gets in the ring with Sandow or Kofi or Ziggler, he’s more than capable of working with them to put on a good show.
4. The Usos (7) – These guys are the break out surprise of the past year.  They’re part of the Samoan lineage and have prominent roles on Total Divas, so it would have been easy to say they were going to get an underserved push.  To their credit, the Usos have been awesome every time they get a chance.  I can’t think of once in the last few months where they’ve disappointed.  Better than that, they’re participation in any match has usually been the highlight.   
5. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (8) – I’m convinced of two things, the Rhodes are going to have some great tag matches and then they’re going to breakup and feud at WM30.  How, when and why is all up to the WWE but that’s how I see the next six months going for these guys.  All of which is fine because Goldust and Cody (and Dusty) have been awesome. 
6. Big E Langston (15) – I know, I was just as surprised to see Big E this high when putting everyone in order, as you are to seeing him this high on the list.  One of the few mid-card matches on the PPV that was worth mentioning, Big E / Ambrose was a quality match with resulted in both men needing stitches (and not on purpose).  While it started out to be a rematch of last night’s PPV match, things escalated quickly.  When he was included in the 6-man tag, he lost some of his individual shine but that’s fine.  Big E has made a splash and he’s hot like Christopher Wallace in the 90’s. (I can’t tell if 1) anyone will get that or 2) if it was lame or not?  I’ll cross my fingers and let my dear readers let me know.)
7. Shawn HBK Michaels (5) – This is the big question.  Not only did Bryan want answers but We did as well regarding what HBK is up to?  There are many things that can be said about HBK and his antics in and out of the ring over the years, in front of the camera and behind the scenes.  There’s no debate that he’s on the short list of “GOAT”.  Where he’s sometimes lacked has been his shoots & promos, but not tonight.  He was great and he was able to deadpan the script while working the audience into a fevered pitch.  Now he has two generations of fans screaming, “You Screwed Brett” and now “You Screwed Bryan.”  So what does this mean?  Do we get one last run from HBK so that he can get an HOF final match like Flair?  Tradition tells us that when a wrestler finally retires, he gives a worthy opponent of the next generation the win.  Is Daniel Bryan that guy?  Will we get one more run from HBK?  Not many answers were given but if we’re headed for something at WM30, this is a great start.  Or HBK could be back on his ranch shooting deer instead of promos within a week?  This is why I love wrestling.   
8. HHH and Stephanie (4) – Between HHH’s rant / presentation of RKO and Stephanie’s procurement of a “the monster Kane” (a valuable tool for sure), it was a productive night for the power duo.  It wasn’t their best night or most impactful but we do see the tracks begin laid.  I’m was a little surprised because I heard that Vince McMahon was going to make an appearance and that he would be the reason The Big Show has been able to get into the areas and cause all the trouble he has, having been fired and banned in all. But alas, he didn’t make an appearance.  The idea for Vince to run up against HHH and Stephanie is appealing but if it doesn’t happen I’m not going to be depressed.  They’ve got a lot going on and whose to say Vince doesn’t show up next week?  HBK, HHH, Stephanie, Bryan and RKO are all lumped together because of plot and relative lack of use this week but that doesn’t diminish their future rolls.  It also goes to show, HHH and Stephanie are just as committed to the rest of the crew because they could have very easily taken up most of the show with this main plot line.  instead they went out, sprinkled their plot throughout the show and let some of the other stories find their footing.  Now whether or not I care about Los Matadores solidifying their story or not is a different debate all together.  
9. Randy Orton (3) – After Hell in the Cell, RKO is officially the WWE champ and “face of the WWE.”  No matter how he came to be the Champ, he sure does carry himself as the prick you’d expect him to be as the pre-ordained “face of the WWE” that HHH and Stephanie had picked.  Aside from a few tweaks that gave him some charm while being a prick a number of years ago, this is the best that RKO has ever been.  It’s too bad we wasted so much time with Diva matches and Real Americans because there wasn’t much for RKO to do than to say a few incendiary words to the rest of the roster and then get knocked out by The Big Show.  Again, I have to point out this is just the beginning of what looks to be a long run.  Patience is virtue.
10. The Big Show (14) – He’s the least likable part of the main storyline but as I’ve said, he’s best served in small doses.  His lawsuit storyline is weak but maybe it makes room for Vince to enter?  Who knows.  As long as it’s not The Big Show hour, I’m fine with letting this breath to see where it goes.
11. Daniel Bryan (6) – Even though one could say he’s the centerpiece of the show (he and RKO comprise the main storyline), he said nothing, perform a few moves on HBK and get beaten up by The Wyatt Family.  All the members of the the main story took a hit today because of the short amount of time they had on screen. 
12. The Wyatt Family (12) – After a poor performance at the PPV, I was ready to give in to everyone telling me that I was wrong about the Wyatts.  Sure, they barely wrestle and may have the record for most go-nowhere shoots.  Bray Wyatt, in particular, has done nothing to deserve any mention but luckily I’ve heard that he has been hurt which is some consolation to their lack of direction.  Just as I was about to drop them to the bottom, they destroyed Bryan backstage.  It made no sense and had nothing to do with any story line that either wrestler is in but Bray kicked the crap out of Bryan.  Then they inexplicably attacked Punk.  Well, OK, now we have something.  Who wouldn’t want to see Punk and Bryan team up against the Wyatts?  I don’t see how this all shakes out but at this point I don’t care.  It lets me justify them staying in the upper-mid tier of the Power Rankings.  I’m sure we’ll soon find out the meaning of “The devil made me do it.”  Unfortunately The Wyatts leave more story lines hanging than chads on a Florida voting ballot (Anyone up for political references from 2000?  RAW is in Orlando, Florida so there is a method to my madness.  It’s no more dumb than when Wyatt lights the lantern just to blow it out, then brings an electric lantern into the arena.).  
13. CM Punk (9) – Really?  Ryback?  Still?  Again?  I thought we were going to move on.  I don’t care what stipulation the fans choose for the match, I just want Punk to be able to move on.  I assumed we got conclusion at HitC but maybe that was just for the Heyman part.  Luckily it seems we’re now done with Punk vs Ryback, finally.  Earlier in the show, the Wyatt Family attacked Daniel Bryan out of nowhere.  Then they did it again with Punk.  With Punk seemingly done with the Heyman & Associates, throwing The Wyatts at Punk is interesting.  I was thinking they’d stay within the tag or bottom feeder ranks to find opponents but a run against Punk and a possible Punk / Bryan team-up could be interesting.  Although Bryan seems to have a direction with HBK, HHH, RKO, etc.  Therefore I wouldn’t count on Bryan being apart of any long term Punk / Wyatt feud.  Really, I don’t see Punk feuding with the Wyatts either but I can always wish.  It’s all going to depend on who this “devil” is that’s directing The Wyatt Family?  This is one of the many resets that we’re getting into.  Remember, this is the first week of storytelling that will conclude six months from now.  Other than a possible few bullet points, nothing is set in stone.
14. Kane (N/A) – I’m sure this is some mental illness of my own, but when I see Kane’s mask not fit properly, for the second night in a row, it drives me insane.  So insane I just want to set fire to my family’s house and kill them all, including my brother who would become the Undertaker… What could Kane possibly say to Stephanie McMahon other than “Thank you for putting me in See No Evil 2 and allowing me to take a three month break from rolling around the ring four nights a week.”  Low and behold, that’s basically what Kane did.  I thought he’d come back in a tie-in with the Wyatts but instead he’s now a servant to the Princess of Wrestling.  Interesting.  Intriguing.  I want to see where this goes. 
15. Alberto Del Rio (8) – Chalk it to the “Maldecir del Cena" but have you seen someone’s wind get taken away from them so quickly?  He was riding high as World champ and had a handful of potentially great feuds in front of him.  Granted, ADR’s gimmick wasn’t the best and the WWE was having a hard time finding the right opponent, short-term plan and path for Sandow to cash in his MitB match but these things could have been fixed while he was still wearing the championship belt.  Hopefully the crowbar-ing of Cena will mix things up and allow ADR to make the proper adjustments to regain the belt and / or find the right feud(s) to lead into WM30.  He’s an excellent wrestler and his heel gimmick is so close to being great.  The evil hispanic feel cheap and too 80’s.  But a modern day Tony Montana could be interesting.  I hope this leads to a short title run by Cena, a few good matches and a better / stronger heel gimmick for ADR to be unleashed on rest of the WWE universe (who better than Cena to push ADR into a darker heel?).  Then I’ll be satisfied with everything that’s gone down with ADR these last few days.  Otherwise, the WWE will have just buried one of their top guys in a matter of days.
16. Brad Maddox (N/A) – OK, Brad.  You’ve been lurking in Honorable Mentions and have had significant roles in recent RAW episodes.  But if you’re going to come out, prolong what was sure to be a great match between Big E vs Ambrose and then make it into a 6-man tag match…well my friend, welcome to the Power Ranking list.  See, it’s not hard to make it on the list.  Just do something to service the fans.  Is anyone going to be upset about a Shield vs Big E / Usos match?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Thank you, sir.
17. The Miz (13) – Let’s give credit where credit is due.  Miz knew he was going out there to job for 60 seconds.  He gave it his all and played it off as if he wasn’t a step above 3MB.  I’m hoping there’s a bigger / better plan for Miz.  I’m a fan.  Unfortunately, right now he’s not going anywhere.  On the up side, he’s banging Maryse, cashing checks and doesn’t have to do MTV’s the Challenge.  You can’t say he’s living a bad life.  
18. The Real Americans w/ Zeb (18) – It’s beyond my comprehension that this crew gets any kind of crowd support.  They’re clearly heels in the tradition of Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff.  What baffles me is that entire arenas will chant their stupid sayings go along with the gimmick.  Their wrestling is fair but nothing great.  I’d rank them at the bottom in comparison to the current tag teams.  For Christ’s sake, they’re in a match against the Champs, Cody and Goldust, when teams like the Primetime Players can only get a minute to sell t-shirts.  What is the goal / purpose of this group?  If they’re going to go full out racist heel, then do it and let some faces beat the crap out of them.  Otherwise they’re just wasting time that other people could be using.
19. 3MB (20) – I’m going to petition to change their name to KCC “Keep Cashing Checks” because that’s all they’re doing.  There has to be some serious soul searching when you go home at night and know that you’ve jobbed to a couple of buffoons dressed up as nipples and a midget bull-man-thing.  I hope WWE takes away their belts and shoelaces before locking them in their rooms as night.  It would not look good if one morning local newspapers had pictures of each member of 3MB swinging from the shower curtain bar or some Motel 6 closet.  I can’t even give them credit for the large fishing net they brought to the ring, although I did crack the smallest of grins when JBL called it a little bull catcher.
20. Los Matadores (N/A) – They were part of the “time to eat and go to bathroom” portion of the PPV last night.  Their handful of solid tag team moves will never win me over to the ridiculousness of this gimmick.  El Torito is god awful.  Can someone explain why their match with 3MB was a 2-on-3 handicap match?  El Torito is possibly the most talented of the Los Matadores group so why is it unacceptable that he fights in a 6-man tag?  It’s discrimination and I want the ACLU to investigate and serve a cease and desist order on the WWE’s use of Los Matadores and El Torito.

Honorable Mentions

komen.org – We conclude cancer awareness month with this week’s RAW.  Is it me or does it seem that we’ve been wearing pink shirts and having pink ropes and pink bows for about three months?  In all seriousness, it’s been a good thing and the WWE should be commended for the amount of time and money they’ve put toward awareness and donations to fighting cancer.

Primetime Players – If they want to be the next “pitchmen” for the WWE, they’re leaps and bounds behind R-Truth.  Besides, the Primetime Players are a very good tag team and we’re heading into a great tag era (fingers crossed).  Just as with R-Truth, this was a good way to hawk some merch and keep them in the forefront of the viewers minds.  

David Otunga AKA Mr. Jennifer Hudson – I forgot he was still part of the WWE lineup.  I’ve always like him.  Maybe it’s his rippling musculature or his Harvard intellect, either way he’s another guy that I give credit to for cashing checks.  There was always a charm to him being the assistant to whomever was the GM.  Now he’s taken on the role of resident attorney.  He read his lines.  The script / “complaint” was funny and shed some light to what will be the direction / actions Big Show will be taking.

AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka / The Bellas – Let’s face it, AJ is the only reason this group is on the list.  We’ve never really been told why Snuka and AJ are together and frankly, I don’t care.  AJ got two seconds of in-ring action to put on her finishing move.  I’m tired of writing about this already and I’ll save my strength for something else…

Divas Match part du – It’s amazing that with about 30 minutes left on the show, the WWE decides to put on a second divas match between Summer Rae and Natalya.  I know they want to promote Total Divas coming back soon but couldn’t this have been included in the first Divas match?  Give it up to Fandango for being the “valet” this time.  Summer had an interesting and unexpected mean streak come out.  Maybe if Summer and ‘Fan come out as the silly duo but can turn on the evil switch, maybe they have some possibilities together long term?  (Did I really just say that?  Jesus, I must be tired or getting sick?)  It gives me hope that everyone knows this is a stupid gimmick, which only then makes it tolerable.  What truly saddens me (and I’ve never hoped for an injury this much before) is that Santino has been replaced by Natalya in the motley crew of Hornswaggle and Khali.  It is dark days for Santino and this Santino fan.  Viva la Italia.  Viva Santino!

Side Note(s)

If you say something can only be seen “exclusively” on the WWE and then show it on the RAW live TV show, then it’s not exclusive!  The WWE app sucks and doesn’t work.  Can we just move on?  Figure out a better use of the app.  Starting with making it work.

Yet again we get another tutorial on how to install the WWE app to our phone.  They’re treating us like you would your grandparents when they got their first smartphone.  Let’s look at it another way, if you’re too stupid not to know how to install a free app on your phone, how in the hell are you supposed to navigate the app once you install it?  Please WWE, stop.  Spend this time and money on making a decent app.  I assure you, we’ll figure out how to use it.  I’ve never seen a demonstration on how to download Angry Birds but every five year old seems to know how to use and play that app.  Besides, how do you think you get all your wrestlers “trending” on twitter if people don’t know how to download an app!?    

Until next week…