WWE Power Rankings, RAW 1/27/2014

Coming at you from Cleveland (“Hello, Cleveland!!”), and we are officially on the Road to WrestleMania 30 with a terrific Royal Rumble last night.  Best PPV of 2014!  Of course, it’s the only PPV of 2014 but the Rumble was still awesome and it’s going to take a lot for a PPV to knock it from the top spot this year.  Before I go into praise, let me just say 99% of the Rumble PPV went as predicted.  Why is this something of note?  Because a well executed show is usually better than any surprise ending, special guest or twist / turn that the WWE could throw at us.  

I’m not one to recap PPVs but allow me one paragraph to point out why RR was so good (besides, I’m sure we’ll touch on most of the PPV / Rumble action in the rundown, fear not).  Take out the Rumble match itself because that’s always fun.  In fact, the ending to this year’s Rumble was less than great and whose winner was predicted a month ago but the Rumble was still an overall fun event.  Opening the show we had the “Match of the Night” where Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt were just awesome.  The match was great, the crowd was on fire and Bray defeated Bryan cleanly and brutally.  The ramifications and each wrestler’s “Road to WM30” be damned.  The match was so good that you didn’t care who won.  Give us a clean ending and let the writers figure out the rest tomorrow.  That was exactly what happened.  Not only did Bray win the match, he also won “Performer of the Night.”  The next match, which no one had high hopes for, was Big Show vs Lesnar.  It was quick and heading to a forgettable match until Lesnar decided to go ECW on Big Show with about five different chairs and no less than 20 solid chair shots.  Also, it looked like Lesnar took a real shot from Big Show’s fist AND still was able to pull off an F5 on Big Show to end the match.  Next came the last match before the Rumble, RKO vs Cena.  During his match with Cena, RKO remembered what great heels are supposed to do… Give the crowd more of what they’re complaining about and shove it in their face!  Halfway through, with the crowd at its peak “Bor-ing” level, RKO looked up and smirked.  It’s as if you could see him say, “Oh, you think this is boring?  I’ll show you boring!”  With that, it was nothing but arm bars / choke holds / submissions, everything that a live crowd hates.  This drove the crowd in-fucking-sane!  Then Bray Wyatt & Family made their second appearance of the night and provided the right amount of chaos to end the match on a good note.  After just three good-to-great matches in, we finish with the Rumble.  Throw in a pre-show match of the New Age Outlaws defeating the Rhodes Brothers and we had a great night of wrestling. 

A few things popped out while watching RAW that I can’t fit into the rankings properly and were very important.  First, CM Punk was nowhere to be found.  I’ll have to check in with Fred “The Oracle” to see if this was due to an injury or merely some time off before a big WM30 push.  (BTW, no Big E Langston either)  Secondly, sometimes I feel so stupid for not seeing what’s happening until it hits me in the face.  It was pretty clear from the beginning that the team of Cena / Sheamus / Bryan would beat The Shield and be entered into the Elimination Chamber match BUT it wouldn’t be outrageous if The Shield won so there was still some suspense.  Bray Wyatt not making an appearance all night was odd as well but right as the match started, it hit me that the WWE likes to repeat spots from previous night’s PPV recently so of course the Wyatt Family would turn off the lights and attack Cena.  This led to a gift from the WWE gods!  Due to a DQ caused by the Wyatts, The Shield lost their shot at the Elimination Chamber match AND suddenly have nothing better to do at the next PPV than…wait for it…have a match with the Wyatt Family!  With Cena now in the EC match, Bray is free to join the rest of his family in the Wyatt / Shield match that we’ve all been screaming about.  After the EC PPV, Bray and Cena can pick right up in time for WM30.  I started this post talking about execution.  How’s that for execution?  Well-done to the WWE writing crew.  Thank you for giving us what we want!  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 1/27/2014…

1. Bray and The Wyatt Family (6) – As soon as the Bryan / Wyatt match was over, I had declared that Bray Wyatt was getting the top spot.  I’m a mark for the Wyatt Family and have taken a lot of heat for how high I’ll rank them each week.  Here’s how you get to the top of the Power Rankings and receive “Performer of the Night” at RR.  First, Bray shut all the doubters up with the clean dismantling of Bryan.  Secondly, there’s been a little rumor that WM30 was going to feature Cena vs Bray but no one was quite sure how that was going to happen?  Well, (as said at our party) “BOOM! That’s how that happens!”  By the end of RAW, not only was Cena / Bray set up for WM30 but we also got a Shield / Wyatt showdown at Elimination Chamber next month while we get through the last PPV before WM30.  
   
2. The Shield (1) – I refuse to break them up.  At the Rumble they did it all.  They fought as a team, they fought great individually (especially Reigns who got the “Most Eliminations” push) and Ambrose swung the biggest hammer on the nail that will eventually lead to the break up The Shield.  I’m just not ready to let go just yet.  Neither is the WWE.  With Bray Wyatt seeming to be on a collision course with Cena at WM 30, I assumed we were not going to get the Wyatt Family vs The Shield anytime soon?  While that bums me out, I can’t be mad at Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns.  They’ve been awesome.  Just as I was getting through the acceptance stage of the 12 step program…  Hold up, wait a minute, put a little BOOM in it… As a parting gift, it looks like we will get the Wyatts vs Shield before The Shield breaks up.  (The kid part of me now wants to believe that The Shield will never break up.  “They’re the three best friends that anyone-could-ever-have…”) 
   
3. Daniel Bryan (5) – All you hear from the uneducated online masses is, “They’re burying Daniel Bryan.  They’re burying Daniel Bryan.”  If the WWE was trying to bury Bryan, he wouldn’t be opening RAW, he wouldn’t be putting on the “Match of the Night” and he wouldn’t be main event-ing every night.  Anyone NOT named Cena wishes they could be “buried” like Daniel Bryan is.  Even more impressive than Bryan’s in-ring work has been his mic skills.  You can tell he’s starting to understand how to control the crowd.  Working a crowd is like fishing.  You don’t fight the fish or overpower it in order to reel it in.  You have to work with the fish and direct it, guide it while you’re reeling it in.  That’s what Stone Cold was able to do with his “WHAT” chant and what so many wrestlers fail to do once they’re lucky enough to get a crowd hot.  Bryan is SOOOO over and he’ll be involved in the main event at WM30 if the WWE has to blow up all story angles to get him there.  By chance he’s not in the Main-main event, certainly he’s be in the top 3-4 headlining matches.
   
4. Randy Orton (9) – Let me repeat what I said earlier.  RKO remembered how to be a great heel.  Its well known that I believe RKO is one of the last true heels that We have.  The one thing heel-RKO often forgets is that he IS the champ.  Remember, the champ only has to defend the championship, not win it.  (This is why it’s usually better to have a heel hold the belt because it’s more enjoyable to watch the Face fight hard to chase after the title.)  All RKO had to do is hold Cena off.  He doesn’t owe the crowd any crazy moves or dramatic come-from-behind victories.  A great heel champion just needs to hold off the challenger and win.  He even has down the villainous #duckface 
   
5. Brock Lesnar w/ Heyman (4) – Well if they wanted to spice of the WWE Heavyweight title match (and promo skills), adding Brock and Heyman into the mix can’t hurt.  Heyman’s got my dream job.  I wish I had someone who I could bring around with me, let me talk shit to everyone and then throw my hands in the air saying, “I’m just an advocate.”  Who’s going to mess with you while Lesnar has got your back?  Switching gears; you’d have to say that Brock has mastered the modern day chair shot.  I don’t know how bad it hurts the other guy(s) but he’s literally breaking metal chairs over his opponents.  This man is a maniac and this other man controls him.  I don't know which is scarier.
   
   
   
      
6. John Cena (13) – Other than what’s Undertaker going to do at WM30, Cena had the most mystery surrounding what his plans were going to be.  Naturally everyone thought he was going to be involved in the Championship plans but the WWE has other ideas.  To my pleasure, the WWE wants to give Bray Wyatt the Cena bump.  This confirms that The Wyatts are not only liked by yours truly but WWE creative as well.  The rumor was out there for this potential matchup but there didn’t seem to be a path to getting the two teamed up.  Sometimes the WWE is intricate and subtle, like the HHH / CM Punk buildup.  Other times you just turn off the lights and BAM, you’ve got a feud.  It seems fitting since it was just a few months back, when Cena returned from injury, he was thrown into the World Championship picture without any logical reason.  Looking back, we now know it was because the WWE was unifying the titles.  That said, there was no reason Cena had to be the World title holder to unify the titles.  The WWE just did it.  When it comes to Cena, the real “Face of the WWE,” you’ll only hurt yourself trying to figure out rhymes and/or reasons.  You all know how I love grabbing pics of Cena fans, this was needs little explanation.  It does help you understand why the “let’s go Cena,” chant is in a much higher vocal register than the “Cena sucks” side.  I wonder what the difference between the two sides are???? 
   
7. HHH and Stephanie (8) – Coming out to open the show, they were as giddy as two kids getting back from trying to conceive a child in the “Gorilla seat.”  Why shouldn’t they be happy?  They put on a fun PPV and all their story lines for WM are starting to take hold.  Other than not having a clue on the Undertaker match, all the other WWE story lines are headed in a good direction.  HHH’s line, “Did someone not get what they wanted?” in mocking the fans’ YES YES YES chant was brilliant!  To see both HHH and Stephanie enjoy being the villain so much, well, it almost brings me to tears.  I love it. 
   
   
8. Sheamus (N/A) – I must admit, I neither a Sheamus mark or a Sheamus hater.  Originally it felt like the WWE wanted him to be a heel but that never took off.  If the best personas are just the wrestler’s real attitude cranked up to 11, as SCSA has said, then it seems Sheamus should be a face.  He’s the more muscular Heavyweight version of Kofi.  Ideally be a face while having a mean streak in him.  The Heavyweights of the WWE seem thin of late.  With Kane gone Korporate, Big Show being Big Show, Mark Henry out, Undertaker gone 95% of the year, HHH mainly an executive, Wade Barrett (boarderline) stuck in his gimmick and Brodus Clay in limbo; the only Heavyweights left are Cena, RKO (boarderline), Brock, Big E and Reigns.  Sheamus is welcomed fresh blood.
   
9. Goldust and Cody Rhodes (2) – The Rhodes brothers lost their tag belts, both got F5’d by Brock, chair-whipped by Brock and to top it off Goldie seemed to have lost his gloves.  The Rhodes Brothers have seen better days.  I’d have bet the house that their feud would have started but maybe it’s going to be a slow boil.  Don’t forget, we’ve got two months until WM30.  There’s a lot of time to let the Brother vs Brother match build.  If by Elimination Chamber, they’re not going at it, then I’ll get worried. 
    
10. Batista (7) – Winner of the Rumble match.  I’m a fan of his eyewear selection.  He’s on the list because he won the Rumble, looks like a beast and has a main event ticket to WM30.  He’s got a spot on this list because he’s an integral piece in the WWE picture.  Let’s be real, he’s no good as a face.  He can’t turn heel soon enough.  We want it.  He wants it.  Just do it, WWE.  Look at how he embraces the #Bootista sign.  
    
11. The Usos (3) – For not having any storyline set up between the Usos and Ryb-Axel and relying purely on the heat that the Usos bring, the crowd was pretty lively for the Usos win.  Now that the tag belts are basically up for grabs, I’d be surprised if the Usos didn’t win the championship in the near future.  Only if a heel team won the belts and the Usos had to fight their way to a PPV to finally become champions, could I see them not be given the chance to hold the tag titles ASAP.  But then again, the NAO are “Heels” so why not just have the Usos take the straps off them?  Problem solved.
12. The New Age Outlaws (11) – I feel sorry for the NAO.  Not that they’re bound to drop the belts in a hot minute but because the night after they win the tag team championship, for the sixth time and after 14 years, they’re stuck with a dead Cleveland crowd.  Maybe Road Dogg misread the crowd and thought that just because they could pull a YES YES YES chant off earlier, they’d know what to do when DX came a-knocking.  To Cleveland’s defense, it’s been a while since the NAO have come around, although every other city gets it.  Chalk another notch up under the Cleveland sucks ledger.  Road Dogg was spectacular on the mic and being “over-heard” on the camera mic.  Aaaaaannd that’s why he’s a backstage booker / talent manager for the WWE.  Watch and learn future Superstars.
    
13. Kofi Kingston (14) – As predicted, Kofi had the “Spot of the Night” at the Rumble.  His leap from the barrier back into the ring was incredible.  There was no way he was going to make that leap or not slip off the padded barricade but he made it.  When you talk about someone having all the talent in the world but no direction with their character, look no further than Kofi.  There’s nothing he can’t do in the ring, so what’s holding his character back? (the Bear rhetorically asks)  Kofi’s new “Joker” colors are nice and you’ll never hear me complain about adding “The Joker” to anything.  Maybe this will bring the long needed mean streak back to Kofi. 
    
14. Dolph Ziggler (N/A) – While not a total surprise that he returned for the Rumble, it was surprising to see the majority of the RR audience solidly behind Ziggler.  Mark’s love him and feel he’s been unjustly buried.  (FYI to all the people who think Bryan has been buried, just look at what Ziggler has been through.  Ziggler has been buried.)  Recently he’s had a streak of bad luck with injuries, which doesn’t help him getting a push.  Just as the WWE should listen to the fans cheering for Bryan, they should be cognizant of all the heat that Ziggler gets from marks and regular fans.  He may have only beaten The Miz but at this point, Ziggler needs all the wins and push that he can get.
15. Alberto Del Rio (16) – First thing ADR needs is to get Ricardo Rodriguez back on the mic for his entrance.  Heel or Face, he’s better with Rodriguez firing up the crowd.  You’d never think of ADR as being one of the WWE’s best athletes but he can hang with any wrestler, especially one like Kofi.  I don’t know what the storyline is with ADR glaring at the WM30 sign?  Dude, you missed that boat when you went flying over the top rope at the Rumble.  It’s a useful tool wrestlers use but I can’t think of how ADR is making it to a main event or a top tier match at WM30?  Unless he’s just looking at it as in he wants to be on the WM30 card, but at this rate he’s not doing that either.
16. The Real Americans w/ Zeb (N/A) – Who’d have thought the wedge between the Real Americans would be between Zeb and Swagger?  Maybe it’s just another way to keep Zeb as a serious heel because he’s starting to get a little bit of that fan favorite heel cheer (audience manipulation is a fascinating topic but we’ll save it for another time).  I also would find it hard to break up Cesaro and Swagger right as the NAO now hold the tag straps, which you know they won’t hold for long.  It should be seen as a blessing to all the other great tag teams that Cody and Goldust dropped the belts. 
    
17. Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara (15&N/A) – I still don’t know what to make of Rey?  He can still pull off some great moves (exhibited in the tag match with The Real Americans) but it was pathetic watching him at the Rumble.  For the man who holds the record for longest run in the Rumble, to last night being number 30 and only lasting about five minutes, it’s got to be near the end for the great Rey Mysterio.  It’s clear they’re hiding Rey during matches by letting Sin Cara carry the bulk of the match and Rey tagging in to hit a few spots.  But that’s the thing, he can still hit the spots?  I’m totally confused.
18. The Divas match (18) – Naomi and AJ Lee have earned the chance at a singles match.  I must still be high from our PPV party because I can’t believe I’m asking for this.  These two have shown that they can move well in the ring.  Even more surprising is that not far behind them is B-cup-Bella, Alicia Fox and Oksana as far as potential talent and Divas that I may not run for the bathroom when their match starts.  We haven’t even seen Natalya in a few weeks.  Take this next comment with a grain of salt and perspective, but this might be the most loaded the Divas division has ever been.  Oh, what’s that knocking…sorry guys, I think that’s my family with an intervention.  Clearly it’s time for me to go to rehab if I’m talking up the Divas division.
19. Fan-dan-go w/ Summer Rae (19) – Well, if you don’t like Fandango…too bad.  It was announce that Summer Rae would be replacing Jo Jo on Total Divas next season.  Expect to see more of this duo.  Luckily Fandango has in-ring talent, his gimmick just sucks.  Let’s see if WWE creative can reinvent and flesh out their characters.  
20. R-Truth w/ Xavier Woods announcing (20) – Well, um, let’s see…R-Truth won the match and we learned Woods was in school to become an educational phycologist.  That’s about it.  Look, it was a choice between R-Truth, The Miz and Ryb-Axel.  I feel bad for Miz because it was his home town but; 1) He dressed himself in a Browns jersey which is no way to win me over.  Not that I have anything personally against the Browns but they’re, you know, the Browns.  What’s that old saying, “If you want to be a champion, you should dress like one,” and again, a Browns jersey.  2) There is even less to say about The Miz.  I read Miz is marrying Maryse.  Maybe now is a good time to take a month off and handle that.  Go on a honeymoon.  He can come back for something at WM30.  As far as Ryback and Axel, there’s nothing to explain.  I’m open to listening to any reason or theory to include them on the Power Rankings but I’ll warn you, the Christian return promo is ranked higher than these two as of now.  Good luck. 

Honorable Mentions

This Kid – This guys has to be “Fan of the Night!”  Someone’s got to tell me what his deal is.  He’s in Cleveland.  He’s wearing a Steelers beanie?  He’s got a Heat jersey on but not of LeBron but D-Wade?  I’ll give him this, he had the holy wrestling spirit in him the entire night.  He was right in the middle of almost every shot and made a spectacle of himself the whole time.  It takes a lot of commitment.  He might be the ultimate Cleveland heel? 

JBL – I’d be remiss not to point out JBL’s fantastic Rumble appearance.  At first, it seemed a little hooky because it was in the 20’s and there were a lot of there Superstars that we were guessing would get a spot in the Rumble.  After about 30 seconds and his walk up to the ring, we were all for it.  Who wouldn’t want to see a massive clothesline?  The hype for JBL’s participation grew and then the consensus was, “You know, JBL looks good.  This might be good.”  Just then, within less time than it took for JBL to get into the match and take his suit jacket off, he was unceremoniously thrown out.  But JBL wasn’t finished!  In what seemed like one move, he was thrown out of the ring, popped up, slipped on his suit jacket and sat back down and continued his commentary without missing a beat.  It was beautiful.  Big props to JBL.

Kevin Nash – This is the second time Nash has come back at the Rumble in the past few years.  He looked great.  The only knock I had was that he didn’t wrestle that well.  Then again; he’s old, he hasn’t wrestled since god knows when and he wasn’t the best in-ring performer even in his prime (Scott Hall was the worker out of those two).  It was great to see him back.  The first thing that came to mind was that he fall right into the HHH and Authority vs CM Punk at WM30 theory.  

#BadNewsBarrett – Get. In. The. Ring.  (Although I do agree with him about Cleveland)

Jake “The Snake” Roberts – Congrats to The Snake for pulling his life out of the gutter.  If you’re reading this, you’re probably just as much of a wrestling junky as I am and as such, there’s no doubt you’ve been aware to how far Jake and his life has crumbled over the past decade-plus.  It was great to see him alive and well earlier in the month on Old School RAW.  Watching his highlight reel and knowing what he may have been indulging on at the time made me realized that there may have been a few interviews that The Snake didn’t seem to have all his faculties.  

Side Note(s) 

As pointed out numerous times here and again at our Rumble party, someone has to do better drug testing (or just give in that the use of HGH is permitted, and why shouldn’t it be for these wrestlers to recover) because these older wrestlers look great.  NOA, Nash, Goldust, etc. are all looking and wrestling better than they did 20 years ago.

Monday Night Wars: WWE vs WCW is something I can’t wait to watch.  That was the during the height of my Pro Wrestling geek-ness (which you can only imagine since it’s obvious I still love my rastlin’).  Include ECW and almost each weekend you had a PPV.  Every monday night was a six hour block of wrestling and then you had Wednesdays and Thursdays where each company put on a two hour show.  The behind the scenes battles between companies and for talent were almost better than the on-screen feuds.  Yet another reason to order the WWE Network.

For all of you wondering if I had won my crew’s Rumble pot, sadly the gambling gods did not favor me Sunday night.  I got stuck with 4, 5 and 6!  That’s right, I actually drew three consecutive numbers (I even had my girlfriend draw the third number, try to make sense of that) which should have won me something but no…  The big winner was Dustin who we may have to open a numbers tampering investigation.  Dustin somehow locked down CM Punk, Roman Reigns and the eventual winner Batista!  But poor Fred “The Oracle” might have had it the worse.  He was saddled with El Torrito which led to much debate over who had the worse grouping.  The Rumble was a ton of fun and congratulations to Dustin for a well earned win.

Until next week…