WWE Power Rankings, RAW 9-23-2013

Coming at you from Chicago, RAW starts off with a standing protest of mostly B, some B+/A- and a few C listers standing in protest of the WWE Management.  Who do these guys think they are, College Football Players?  The APU’s fight against the NCAA will have the same chances as this mockery of a labor dispute against the WWE brass.  I’ll reserve my thoughts on the NCAA and their “indentured servant / slave” labor force for another time.  Let’s get back on track and the fun of greased up man-on-man violence in the squared circle.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 9/23/2013...

1. The Shield (7) – Is this the first crack between The Shield and HHH / WWE Management?  We started out believing it would be an 11-on-3 battle against The Shield but we know that nothing involving The Shield and HHH would be as it seems.  Almost every opponent of The Shield had been hurt or involved in a match earlier in the show.  They cut a good shoot taking on the whole world and put on one heck of a match considering they were 1) jumped by Cody and Goldust prior to the match; and 2) were the “three” in the 11-on-3 tag match.  Slowly, week by week, The Shield’s legend is growing.  Reign’s first pin in the WWE was an awesome series of moves by multiple participants.  Ambrose was pinned by Ziggler, which just adds to their match on SmackDown.  Rollins was the last of The Shield to be counted out.  What more could they do while loosing the main event?  They solidified their place with HHH, the crowd as heels, as wrestlers, as talkers and put on a great match.  Three gold stars. 
2. Cody Rhodes and Goldust (9) – If you haven’t been reading, then you wouldn’t know my affinity for Goldust, the potential of Cody and the awesome work of everyone in the Rhodes family recently.  Their somewhat shocking sneak attack of The Shield wasn’t the best wrestling nor did they have any mic work BUT the potential of having Goldust and Cody wrestling together, I’m getting giddy just thinking about it.  Never has a wrestler gone on a honeymoon and come back to being a main event-er, while bringing his brother and father back in the mix.  The incredible nature of events that the Rhodes family has gone through deserves extra attention.
3. CM Punk (4) – Punk being in his home town of Chicago is must see TV.  You can always expect a great crowd for him and he certainly doesn’t disappoint.  No one will forget the 2011 MITB PPV championship match between Punk and Cena, in Chicago.  The crowd was electric and the match lived up to the hype.  It was a larger version of the old ECW days where the crowd felt like they really connected to the wrestlers and in turn the wrestlers fed on the crowd to leave everything in the ring.  Shall I dare say, not since Bret Hart and Calgary / Canada has there been a wrestler more tied to a home town / region than Punk + Chicago?  I’m sure my buddy Fred will have the answer to this very controversial question.  Punk came, Punk saw, Punk killed his promo.  What more can I say... So let’s move on.  But before we do, let’s mention he’s probably the only wrestler that the WWE lets him speak knowing they might have to use the 7 second delay and they don’t care.  Can you say “Austin” heel?  And then...
4. Heyman (3) – Just as you thought the crowd couldn’t get any more worked up, Heyman comes strolling, sorry...rolling, in on a rascal scooter singing New York, New York.  While Heyman can’t dance with the devil in the ring, he performs a ballet with Punk on the mic and it’s beautiful.
5. HHH w/ Stephanie McMahon (1) – This week Stephanie came out with HHH so no honorable mentions, these two are ranked together this week.  This week wasn’t bad but they’ve put the bar so high, I have to drop them a notch or two when they don’t hit home runs.  Their drop is a sign of respect.  It seemed like they knew it was time to take baby steps back, if only for a night, to let the rest of the talent shine.  The rest of the roster stepped up literally and figuratively.  Knowing that the rest of the roster was going to be used, HHH and Stephanie appeared sparingly.  Funny note; when Stephanie was “dogging” out Miz for being their utility player and doing all the little things, that was actually one of the greatest compliments.  If you know anything about the wrestling biz, the people that get sent to do the morning shows and grocery store openings are the stars (for the most part) and usually means they have long term plans for you.  Again, add this to the blurring of the lines style of storytelling that HHH, Stephanie and the writing staff are doing with shoot vs real life.  Good work to all the creative staff.
6. Daniel Bryan (2) – It took 2 and a half hours for us to finally get DB out on the mic.  He’s obviously comfortable on the mic but I can’t tell if I like his every-man talk or if it’s just awkwardly effective?  Either way, it was enjoyable and just long enough before he was interrupted.  It’s amazing how crowds have fallen in love with him.  It also helps that when the whole crowd is in unison, screaming “Yes, Yes, Yes” and thrusting both fingers in the air, it becomes and awesome visual on screen.
7. Randy Orton (8) – For two weeks RKO has put on brutal expositions of what he can do to fellow wrestlers in the ring.  For all the stories (real and scripted) that RKO is involved in it’s easy to forget he’s a natural wrestler (that’s natural in skills, not PED / recreational drug-wise but who am I to judge).  He’s a legacy wrestler so it’s in his blood to be able to put on a good solid match.  His “psycho” character from a few years ago hurt him in-ring.  Now that he’s a corporate heel and his motivation is to be the “face of the WWE,” he’s back to putting on quality in-ring displays.  People would be doing themselves, and RKO, a huge discredit if they just thought he was Cena 2.0.  Even though they came into the WWE around the same time, RKO was always the better wrestler.
8. The Wyatt Family (11) – OK, I got shit for keeping the Wyatts on my list for only having a two-second promo.  To make matters worse, I kept them at #11.  I’ll admit when I’m into an individual or group, I can go overboard and do crazy things.  Thankfully The Wyatt Family was back live and had a match.  Bray sat this one out, in his rocking chair, which 1) if the rest of their gimmick wasn’t so good we’d really pick on the stupid rocking chair and the blowing out of the electric light; and 2) the whole “Family” is just huge so I’ll let you tell them that a part of their gimmick is stupid.  They put a whopping on the Primetime Players, which is not easily done (even in the world of predetermined matches).
9. RVD (12) – Um, yeah, hmmm.  When I think of the great labor union reps in American history, the names Hoffa, Miller, Fehr, Debs, Chavez, etc. but I don’t think RVD will go down in the annuls of labor history.  I appreciate that RVD got to be the voice of the protest and was sorta surprised that he was able to step out of the BlackberryKush-fog to actually make an intelligible comment, but what did I say a few weeks ago about having RVD speak?  DO NOT DO IT.  Less is more.  Whatever, no one listens to me anyway.  At least he was in a good match with RKO.
10. Santino (N/A) – Santino alert, Santino alert!  I’m slowing regaining my senses that he’s back because he’s not in the top 10 this week.  I’m not totally cured because he put on a poor match with Fandango and he’s taking up a top spot.  Look, when you guys do a list, you can put Santino anywhere you want.  I choose to put him at 10.  Get over it.
11. Dolph Ziggler (5) – Even with 11 other teammates, Ziggler shines.  Now maybe he should be dropped a little further but I’ve been so happy with the Ziggler / Ambrose feud that I might just be compelled to watch SmackDown to watch their US Title match.  Should be a good one.
12. Alberto Del Rio (N/A) – ADR’s exclusion from this list week was very wrong of me.  In my defense, it was a packed week with a lot of great work to which ADR didn’t wrestle or involve himself in any match or promo.  He is the champ and his two top contenders, Sandow and RVD, fought for what seemed to be the person who would be next to challenge ADR for his World Title.  ADR is another underrated in-ring wrestler, and given the right opponent he can put on a great match.  He was given such an opponent this week in Kofi Kingston. 
13. AJ Lee (10) – Marse, a member of my wrestling crew, has been on the AJ train for a while and as much as it will pain me to not be able to make fun of him and his irrational love for AJ, I’m going to have to keep my mouth shut at our next gathering.  As you know, I too have jumped on the AJ crazy train and for the first time in years I’ve been interested in a Divas match.
14. Kofi Kingston (N/A) – Back from injury and back on TV.  You forget the raw talent that Kofi brings to a match and how exciting his matches are.  He and ADR were given a full match (for RAW standards) and it was excellent.  If they can just get Kofi a good / natural gimmick (that’s me being kind and not saying, “drop the Jamaican crap”) there’s no doubt he could take off.  He could be the “face” version of Ziggler.  Yeah, I said it.  Think about it and tell me I’m wrong...I’ll wait....
15. Primetime Players (16) – The good news is that they’re back on RAW in a full tag match.  The bad news is that they’re up against the Wyatt Family.  This match proved my statement that tag teams are back.  They came out on the wrong end of the match but it was a good match.
16. The Usos (16) – In the 11-on-3 tag match, they performed excellently.  I’d be remiss to not mention how great they were in the main event match.  Add in that they were technically the first ones ever to pin Reigns.  They did what all good wrestlers do, they forced themselves onto this list and to be noticed, with what little air time they had.
17. Ryback and Curtis Axel (15/20) – Along with Heyman, they helped steal the show with CM Punk.  Sometimes you don’t need to do anything incredible to be effective.  You knew Punk would be willing to take a stiff bump in front of his home crowd.  Ryback delivered and continued his crusade against boollies (as he puts it).  Hopefully he doesn’t walk by any mirrors.
18. The Big Show (14) – Did I stutter when I said, “slow and steady?”  At least Big Show wasn’t crying through each of his appearances but he didn’t do much other than throw a punch and have a pouty face during MizTV.
19. Fandango (17) – Not the most impressive match against Santino.  I don’t even know what the purpose was for.  Just to see Summer Rae and to get both wrestlers some air time is all I can come up with.
20. The Miz (19) – Poor Miz takes a great beating last week and then is forced to do a MizTV this week.  MizTV with a blubbering and blathering Big Show.  Whatever Miz did to HHH to make him suffer is the Miz’s fault, I don’t see why we, the audience, have to suffer through a MizTV.  Punish Miz all you want but why do we need to sit through a MizTV?  Get him back in the wring and in a feud.  Please.  Oh, and by the way, Miz can never say he is embarrassed by anything he does “in front of his friends, family and mother” in the WWE when you’ve been on the Real World and The Challenge multiple times in your life.  Those are embarrassing moments, the WWE is just your job.

Honorable Mentions

This is no longer an Honorable Mention, I WANT TO SEE LOS MATADORES...NOW!!!  Luckily the 2nd promo stated that they’d be at RAW next week so let’s keep our fingers crossed that they can live up to the hype.

R-Truth – He really didn’t do much to fall out of the top 20 but he also didn’t do much to stay in the top 20.  If I had more space I would have slotted him in but this is the way the cookie crumbles.

Damien Sandow – This was a total time thing.  Sandow has been great when given the chance but there’s only so much air time.  He was not on TV and he doesn’t have a direction to go in yet with the MITB case.  Just wait, he’ll be back in the top 20 soon.

John Cena – I know, I know but what can I say.  He’s been gone for a while now and Total Divas isn’t on so for the first time in years, he hasn’t been forced on to my each week.  You know that old say, absence makes the heart grow stronger, well it’s true.  The other day while watching a commercial for the WWE that had Cena in it, I said to myself, “I wonder how is and what is Cena up to?”  There’s a chance that when Cena comes back, I might be excited...depending on how the WWE plays it.  If he’s pushed right back into a championship match without having to work a few months getting his feet wet, I’m not going to be too pleased.  If played correctly, I could be very into his return.  I’m 99% sure this wouldn’t happen but wouldn’t this be the best opportunity for Cena to get a heel run.  Just for a little while, then he could go back to being the face of faces of the WWE.  All the hipster-city-liberal fans (I’ll include myself in that description) would love at least one good heel run by Cena.  He’s never going to be able to do it once he’s back in the WWE full time.  He makes them too much money as the face of the WWE.  But he could pull it off for a few month right as he comes back to work and has a blank slate story-wise.  Just saying.  It’s a thought.  I promise not to bring him up until he comes back.  I’m sorry, I think my girlfriend is playing his rap album while I sleep to subconsciously get me to like him.  He’s her favorite wrestler.  We’re a house divided.

Side Note(s) – I only mention this because I’m in full Emmy wrap up / Fashion Police mode but can Stephanie McMahon get a full time personal stylist.  Ever since she’s been on TV, for all these years, she’s never had a good look.  She’s worth billions, watched by millions and could easily afford (or be given outfits by designers even as advertising) a solid and consistent look.  HHH and Mr. McMahon, in fact most of the wrestlers, throughout time have always dressed well when not in “uniform.”  Whether it’s been a part of their character like Ric Flair or The Million Dollar Man, or just their own out of the ring attire like Cena or The Rock, all these guys have great suits and look good.  Stephanie has always looked a mess but not for a lack of trying.  She had on great boots but then a frumpy dress with “business blazer”?  Let’s pull it together, Princess of the WWE, and don’t be afraid to look stylish each week.  It’s not as if you’re going to take bumps or be have an impromptu match.  Don’t make me call Joan Rivers on you.  (I’m sure I’ve just lost my three readers but damn it, I don’t care.  I stand up for my opinions!)

I’d wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t point out that Jerry “The King” should be careful about certain comments.  I’m not talking about any dumb “puppies” reference to boobs or jokes so old Henny Youngman would roll over in his grave.  No, it’s that he should NEVER talk about people, in this case Summer Rae, having a “smile surgically removed” when, other than his heart attack on live air, The King’s best known in the last 20 years for having a face lift that was so bad and appearing on TV the next day where you could still see the cuts from having his face stretched and put back on.  Glass houses Jerry, glass houses... 

Overall, this was a very good show.  HHH and crew did a good job taking a step back and letting the various story lines play out.  Also a very exciting main event. 

Until next week...