WWE Power Rankings, RAW 10-21-2013

Coming at you from Memphis, I’m just now coming out from morning my beloved Dodgers loss last Friday to eliminate them from the playoffs.  I’ve pulled myself together.  Cleared out the empty liquor bottles and ice cream tubs so that I can deliver you my highly anticipated Power Rankings.  I do it all for the people...no need to thank me.  With Hell in the Cell coming up on Sunday this show is either going to be a complete WTF show or a solid primer to the PPV.  Hell in the Cell has given us some great matches over the years (this being the 15 year anniversary of the ‘Taker / Mankind match, see Side Notes for more) I hope this PPV will be will be great.  It should have many resolutions because we’re weeks away from the Survivor Series PPV.  In a story sense, Survivor Series is the kickoff to the Royal Rumble in January, which is the start of the Road to Wrestlemania.  That makes this a pre-show to the pre-show to the run up to the biggest show of the year.  Confused?  Well, don’t be.  It just means that this is when current story lines usually wrap up and new ones will start so that they can conclude at the Superbowl of wrestling, Wrestlemania.  So with that, let’s get to the rankings as of this week’s RAW on 10/21/2013...

1. Dean Ambrose (1 of 3 Shield-ers) (2) – This statement might make you think I’m crazy but Ambrose out wrestled Bryan!  Yes, Yes, Yes I said it.  It was a little sloppy before the first TV break but once they got back the two put on a good match which Ambrose was the better performer.
2. Reigns and Rollins (2 of 3 Shield-ers) (2) – For two weeks in a row, The Shield has main event’d Raw.  Each being fantastic matches.  The Shield was separated this week because Ambrose also had a match to defend his US belt.  All three were on hand for the Main Event (BTW, Ambrose’s match was the opener.  The open and the main are probably the 2 biggest matches of any card and the Shield were in both and both were solid at the very least, absorb that info however you’d like.)  
3. Randy Orton (3) – I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse for RKO to go against Ziggler.  The curse part is that these two could have a great feud and by putting on a solid match, which they did, it could take away the anticipation for the RKO / Bryan match.  Just the same as the Bryan / Ambrose match made you realize there are some untapped feuds that the WWE could easily put together.  The blessing is for the fans.  It gave a glimmer of what the future could hold for RKO if he doesn’t win his match at HitC.  Even if RKO looses at HitC, and subsequently wasn’t involved with the WWE strap which I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t continue to be involved with that story, he could easily find a feud with Ziggler.  I’m sure I’m just high off of huffing glue to assume that these two have a future but I’d love to see a RKO / Ziggler feud.  It would reinforce that RKO can wrestle and let’s not forget, that’s a big part of this thing we call the WWE.  As much as I like story, if you can’t wrestle you’re not going to make if far (unless you’re Hulk Hogan).  Also, for the second week in a row, RKO has brought out some pretty good acting chops.  He’s almost taken the mantel as the top dick-ish asshole (almost because HHH is still around).
4. HHH and Stephanie (1) – At first, I thought we were clearly headed for another pre-PPV “WTF” RAW.  The skit with The Big Show was lame (see Show’s ranking).  Fear of a bad show started to creep into my brain.  Then something happened.  Instead of a stupid scenario / bit (another character interrupting the in-ring character via Jumbo-tron which has been used so many times in the past) being allowed to stumble along and ruin a show was quickly ended.  HHH / Stephanie pivoted to announcing the Ambrose vs Bryan match.  Ok, so Bryan came out first instead of Ambrose but it was commercial time and they needed a way to get the crowd worked up and create the time for the TV break.  This was all a bit clunky but as someone who has watched many a bad show openers through the years, this one was saved.  I know I’m making a bigger deal about this than I should but it has to be pointed out that it looked like we were a crash test car heading for a brick wall but fortunately someone hit the breaks.  There could have been smoother ways of getting Big Show’s story line inserted / recapped.  I’ll knock HHH and Stephanie a little but I’ve also got to give some credit for the save.  Albeit awkward, they were able to touch on Big Show, list the PPV matches, set up HBK and introduce the first match of the night all in the opening 10 minutes.  A yeoman’s effort indeed.  And really, how “upset” could HHH / Stephanie be that Bryan came out to the ring?  He was Ambrose’s opponent so whether he came out first or second, he was coming out and the crowd was going to Yes, Yes, Yes him.
   
5. Shawn HBK Michaels (9) – Sure, it would be easy to leave HBK on this list forever seeing as how he’s the best there ever was, is or will be...(one day I’ll get sick of trolling Bret Hart fans, but today is not that day).  Seriously, from the opening moments of RAW when HHH and Stephanie continually mention that HBK is the guest referee for the RKO / Bryan HitC match and that he was “voted” in by us, the wrestling public, all the signs are pointing toward SOMETHING happening at the PPV.  The Oracle, Freddy D., has laid out many theories (some seem more likely than others) but I’d give it a 99% chance that HBK’s actions at the PPV will have more to do with who will walk out as the WWE champ than either RKO’s or Bryan’s.  It was also interesting to see HBK and HHH’s interaction later in the show.  Granted, HBK can be goofy and even he’ll be the first to tell you that acting isn’t what kept him as a main event-er but he’s got a certain charm.  It’s goofy and childish but when you don’t get it all the time, you find it refreshing when it shows up.  Specifically outside the ring, back stage, he may be laying the seeds for a possible confrontation with the “current” HHH.  Do I expect HBK to do the bidding of HHH and Stephanie? Yep.  Would it surprise me if he did the switch-a-ro and help Bryan win the title and use the excuse that HHH has changed and his fun loving friend is now a heartless CEO who needs reminding of what made HHH, HBK, DX and the Clique so great? Nope.  I give the writers and HBK a tip of the hat to keeping his intentions enigmatic.   
6. Daniel Bryan (7) – It was good to see a quality matchup to start the show.  If you would have told me that Bryan vs Ambrose was going to be the first match, I’d have thought this would have been a no-brainer for match of the night.  Unfortunately it was a bit flat to start and the two made a few mistakes.  I’ll give them credit for some well done moves and note the difficulty in performing a match that contains TV breaks.  I guess we’ve just been spoiled by the recent quality of Bryan’s matches and near-perfect Shield matches of late.  Once back from the commercial break the two were clicking.
7. The Usos (N/A) – I don’t know how many times I can keep saying this but the Tag Team stable is stacked.  The Usos continue to impress with every match they have.  They stood toe-to-toe with The Shield and put on one hell of a main event.  I’m glad the were able to work their way into a triple threat match with The Shield and The Rhodes at Hell in the Cell.
8. Alberto Del Rio / Rhodes Family (6/4) – Neither had a match but both hung over the WWE universe in very important ways.  Both are Champions, World and Tag respectfully, and each one got either multiple promos or ringside commentaries.  While ADR is poised to be the villain against Cena and, without any screen time from his opponent, ADR has readied the use of an arm-bar-lock against Cena during his return match (to capitalize on Cena’s injured elbow), I’m not quite sure what the Rhodes family’s angle was on the show.  JBL kept taunting the Rhodes as a cookie cutter / vanilla team that is plain and boring.  This idea is absurd considering you have a man dressed head-to-toe in latex and painted with black and gold paid over the rest of his body.  I don’t think “vanilla” could ever be used to describe Goldust.  With all things, we must consider the source.  JBL is the third wheel of the announce team and often doesn’t make sense with his commentary.  At least with Lawler, you understand he’s a lecherous old man, with one-liners from the 70‘s and that’s his schtick.
   
9. CM Punk (5) – As with many of the performances tonight, Punk set the stage for Sundays PPV.  You gotta believe that Punk is going to win his Hell in the Cell match against Ryback and Heyman.  This feud has gone on long enough and this would be fine time to resolve this story so we can move on.  If not now then certainly by Survivor Series, but if it drags until then we better see something amazing.  It’s not going to surprise me if Punk has to defeat Ryback, Heyman AND Curtis Axel this Sunday.  It looks like Punk has back up in Langston if need be.  Regardless, let’s hope that HitC concludes this feud.  
10. Heyman (8) – Great shoot.  But I do find it odd that he of all people would comment on the diva-less dreams of Punk when just a few weeks ago Heyman was sharing a “special” moment with Ryback in the swamps of Mississippi.  I guess what happens in Biloxi stays in Biloxi.  I don’t give Heyman much of a chance, even with henchmen, if a 30 second promo takes the wind out of the man.
11. Dolph Ziggler (11) – RKO vs Ziggler could be a dream matchup if given the proper build up.  A large contingent of the crowd was behind Ziggler, which proves that he’s underutilized.  If half the crowd is cheering for Ziggler against “the face” of the WWE, it goes to show he’s suitable for a push against any wrestler.  Overall it might not be best for RKO but Ziggler would benefit greatly from a feud with RKO.  This would raise Ziggler’s status again so that he can get in line for whomever ends up with either the WWE or World championships.  I know this is all just the wishes of a big city-liberal-wrestling-fan but I can dream, damn it!  We should be grateful that WWE is throwing us a good match bone prior to the PPV.  I’ll calm down.  But then again, how good would it be for Ziggler to be chasing a Champion RKO for a few big matches.  Ok ok ok, this time I mean it, I’ll calm down now.
12. The Wyatt Family (14) – Finally, I can justifiably put The Wyatts higher on my rankings.  They didn’t just come out but get this, they wrestled.  They wrestled solid opponents in Miz (whom Bray has got his creepy sights on) and Kofi.  If we’re throwing opponents together, I don’t see why they couldn’t have found a third member so that Bray Wyatt could compete in the match as well, but hey, I won’t look a gift lamb in the mouth.  I really can’t wait for a Shield / Wyatt feud because Rowan and Harper are beasts.  Whatever their plans are for Miz couldn’t end fast enough so that we can get to what I’d assume is what everyone wants, Shield / Wyatts.  After the PPV, I’m going to assume that both teams will be done with their respective story lines and we can work our way to a much anticipated showdown.  What better PPV than Survivor Series to have a large tag match?  Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
13. The Miz / Kofi Kingston (15/N/A) – They went in as jobbers to the Wyatts but they put on a great match.  The sign of a true professional is knowing you’re going to take the 3 count but putting on a solid match anyway.  Kofi, once again, proved he’s a great in-ring talent.  He almost stole the show with a quick burst of moves before he was nearly beheaded by a monster clothesline to end the match.  Miz seems to be the next “lamb” for the Wyatts to embrace into their creepy arms.  The segment cuts away before we see what would become of Miz.
14. The Big Show (10) – Let’s start with these small grievances that I have with Show’s character; 1) For someone who was “fired” I find it hard to believe that he’d be able to get a camera crew and the WWE production staff to film him and interrupt HHH / Stephanie’s opening promo?  2) If he’s been “fired” why would he still wear “Big Show” merch, and especially the pink version for breast cancer awareness?  These are all small potatoes but proves less is more when it comes to Big Show.  He was at his most effective when alls he did we drive a big rig in and use it to distract RKO for Bryan to knock him out.  (#3 on my absurdities list would be how a 7-foot tall, 500-lbs man, recently fired by the company, driving a big rig could somehow get by all security to drive into the area floor)
15. Big E. Langston (N/A) – I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of what / who can bring back some glamour to the IC belt.  Axel has degraded the strap to the point that I was afraid it would be lost.  Luckily Big E stepped in and the more I think about it, the better this feud becomes.  Big E, an underrated and unused talent to this point, is at the perfect place to challenge for the IC belt.  At this point, the IC belt is a distant 4th in championship rank of the four major singles belts.  Big E has the potential of taking this belt and raising the profile quickly if he were to win it from Axel and defend it in a few quality matches.  The unproven factor of Big E is the unknown.  We don’t know what Langston can really do on his own.  If Langston wins the belt and shows some in-ring ability, it could be the rare case that the man makes the belt instead of the belt making the man.
16. Ryback (13) – Almost an afterthought in the Punk / Heyman feud.  What does he do if Punk wins the HitC match?  I don’t know where he’s going with his bully campaign.  He’s got more of a chance to make it without Heyman than Axel does.  Does the WWE break up the first same-sex union as quickly as they threw it together?  Is there a scarier thought that having Ryback as your scorned lover?  Although the glimpses of Ryback vs Langston are interesting.  Throw in the fact Mark Henry is wandering in the darkness of the WWE locker room, there might be an interesting “heavyweight” trifecta that could take place.
17. Curtis Axel (13) – If this is a test run for what will happen once Axel is no longer involved with the Heyman / Punk feud, I’d say there might be some promise.  Axel has cheapened the IC belt to the point were it’s hard to find a worthy-less contender to take it away and then raise it’s profile, but Big E just might be able to do it.  If Axel wants to prove his worth or even have a chance to keep the belt and not make it and himself expendable, Big E is a good opponent to do it against.
18. Real Americans w/ Zeb vs Tons of Funk (N/A) – The match between these two teams really took a back seat to the discussion that Zeb had with the announce team regarding Los Matadores.  While I can’t stand Los Matadores or El Torito, the “goring” of Zeb in the crotch and in the ass by El Torito has left me very conflicted.  Zeb’s explanation of how the government shutdown allowed El Torito to sneak across the boarder is the first time I could understand the concerns that the Tea Party has about our boarder security.  At the same time, Zeb complaining that El Torito has no respect for him, well, I guess El Torito and I have something in common now as well.  I’ve never been left with such conflicting feelings.  (Maybe the fact that Hitler was born on 4/20?)
19. Santino (with Khali and Hornswoggle) (16) – Well, we’re back to the bullshit gimmicks.  All three dressed in Elvis outfits, due to the fact their in Memphis which is just a hop skip and a jump from Graceland (FUN FACT, I’ve been there).  The only semi-redeemable portion of this act was that Santino was able to channel “black-belt Elvis” so there was that... No one sells the crap he’s given to do better than Santino.  You want an example, his stupid sock-cobra also had an Elvis hairdo.  Nuff Said.
20. 3MB (20) – Back again and jobbing like a the professional jobbers they are.  Keep cashing those checks.  Yet again, I couldn’t tell which MB-er was wrestling.  It doesn’t matter.  I think it was the white rocker?  Honestly, who gives a fuck?  

Honorable Mentions

Komen.org – Breast Cancer month continues.  Donate / support a charity.  I know times are rough and money is tight but there are always people that have it worse off than you and there’s always a disease that needs defeating or a charity that needs help.  A $20 donation to your favorite charity can help.

Jerry “The King” Lawler – The city of Memphis and the state of Tennessee is where I most associate being the hometown The King.  There’s been a recent phenomenon of the crowd chanting the announcer’s names during the shows.  I don’t know why this started or for what reason but if anywhere it’s deserved, it would be for Lawler in Memphis.  In the territory days, Lawler really was the “king” of this part of the country.  No matter how goofy and silly I feel The King can be now, you cannot tell the history of wrestling without mentioning Lawler, Memphis area and the amazing run / shoot he had with Andy Kaufman.  It was nice to see The King get his due but you have to think that Lawler would have probably wished he wasn’t presented to his hometown crowd by a fake Italian dressed like Elvis with a sock on his arm painted like a cobra with an Elvis wig on (so you’re not confused, BOTH the fake Italian and sock had Elvis wigs on).  Stay classy WWE.

R-Truth – It may not be a surprise that I watch a great deal of late night infomercials, seeing as it’s almost 3 am as I’m writing this.  Having said that, I’ve seen all kinds of pitchmen and women.  From Mandy on jewelry television to the weirdos selling knives to the English dude that sells anything and everything (I still think he’s the one responsible for the untimely death of Billy Mays, if you’re into conspiracy theories of late night shopping.  Any good detective will tell you, look to see who has the most to gain and you’ve found your suspect.) even the Slap Chop / ShamWow guy, Vince.  I’ve seen them all.  I’m telling you, Truth is just as good if not better than all of them.  He convinced me that what I really needed to round out my wardrobe was a Daniel Bryan beard mixed with a Wyatt lamb mask.  Last week I wondered if R-Truth was crazy or brilliant, I think this week we found out.  (Yeah, you’ll notice how I’m evasive to which direction the arrow points on this...)

AJ / Snuka vs Bellas – At least we got an AJ sighting.  Also, it seems that Cena’s Bella is healthy enough to wrestle again, not that “Implant” Bella (I’ve got nothing against implants, it’s just the easiest way to tell them apart) being back to in-ring action means anything to me.  You know what, I’m going to be nice because I don’t have anything good to say about the match or even know what the significance of having it meant so I’ll shut up and say DO SOMETHING MORE WITH AJ.  AJ cut one of the best promos of the year a few weeks back and since then we’ve gotten very little out of it.  One halfway decent PPV match and nothing much more.  Either do something more with her or bury her and the divas until Total Divas comes back, which I’m sure we’ll get a good helping of all the participating women.

Side Note(s) 

Mankind vs Undertaker HitC match 1998 – I can’t believe this match was 15 years ago.  It seemed like only yesterday, that I thought a man had intentionally killed himself for the sake of a wrestling match.  This match came during the Attitude era and during the height of WWF/E, WCW and ECW battles.  I really should devote an entire post to this match but it certainly deserves a quick mention.  This was, and still is, the most insane match I have every seen.  There have been crazier and riskier matches on smaller / more independent showcases and there have been more outlandish stunts performed but this was the match that made me forget that this was a staged entertainment performance and I truly thought Mankind was going to die on a major promoter’s PPV.  To my knowledge, nothing was rigged (such as an airbag’d set or breakaway ring) and all the bumps taken were real.  Here’s a link to the match.  There’s so much to be said but words cannot do it the proper justice, so please watch this match and marvel how riveting, dangerous and amazing (that Mankind lived), and we’ll probably never see the same sort of performance again.  Which in my book is 10% disappointing but 90% a good thing.    

Until next week...